Tell me about how you came to the realization that at one point you were an asshole to some people and what made you reflect and change ?
What made you realize that you were an a hole before ?
r/AskMen
Tell me about how you came to the realization that at one point you were an asshole to some people and what made you reflect and change ?
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I am quite aware I am an asshole to some but they can never say I lack conviction.
I used to think that people didn’t like me because I was too smart for the average person to understand, but it turns out I was just an arrogant asshole.
when i said something a little to strict and the expression on my friend’s face fell off. I felt bad about it.
Oh, I always knew.
I don’t know… I’ve been called it enough. I just accepted it as a compliment… comes with the territory (truck driver) lol 😆
Got diagnosed with NPD, trying my best to ‘recover’ and break behavior cycles so my daughter hopefully won’t even know I’m a giant arrogant prick. Big goal, but big efforts.
I told my coworker to just put his cat down already. They were bitching about going to the vet all the time and the bills.
It was such a natural reaction. I didn’t even think about it.
Other times, some darker humor I picked up in the military has not gone over well with normies.
The only real change I made is keeping my sarcastic comments to myself. Just put the mask on and fake that smile.
Being too honest or speaking something that comes to my mind first. Sometimes (or often) it was better to stay quiet.
When people were all eating in the staff kitchen and I refused. Just make a point that I’m not happy turns out these things over time came across as arrogant or intimidating. But I’m not I’m just very unhappy that I was screwed over by others.
I grew up…
there were moments in the past where I was too young to grasp the situation and was the ah.
Only thing that made me realize was growing up.
I always liked making people feel upset or uneased. It’s very interesting to see how people react to circumstances they aren’t used to.
It’s a WIP, to reel in that part of me. Nowadays, it doesn’t pop up as often as it used to.
Avoidance- I always felt that keeping people at arms length & the way I’d rejected women was respectful. I’ve now finally understood years later how it was probably pretty hurtful to be warm / engaging then instantly freeze them out.
Seeming really uncaring carried over into many other aspects of my life too & set me back in many ways.
I was a meek, nerdy, loser in high school.
I was pretty lame in my first year or two of college.
One day I was in the cafeteria eating with my equally-lame friends and I started mocking a girl from our dorm for watching soap operas and for the way.she laughed (not something people can control).
As we stood up to leave I saw she was right behind me and likely heard the whole thing. That was 30 years ago and it still haunts me.
I made a couple people cry.. that didn’t make me feel good.
I’ve been incredibly aware I’m an asshole since I was like 12, I think it’s a necessary evil and don’t plan on changing.
Change? Why would I change?
I was a little piece of shit when i was a teenager, specifically from the age of 10 to about 14-15. I was a bully.
As time went on when i was 16 or 17, i don’t exactly know how or why but i realized i had been a piece of shit to some dudes and girls.
i thought there was no point apologizing because these people certainly despised my guts no matter what at that point, and rightfully so.
However, one girl messaged me a decade later telling me how much she had suffered because of me. I told her i was a dumb kid and that i understood, i obviously apologized several times to her as well. Then we talked for a bit.
She asked me “but why were you like that with me?”. Truth is I don’t know, i was just a dumbass kid, i honestly don’t know, kids can be fucking stupid
When I woke up and reread my messages from the night before.
I’m pretty direct and do not give a single shit about the feelings of people, of which i suspect they don’t care about mine. They just hide it better.
Is that being an asshole, in the eyes of society, as well as in the broader picture, if i’m honest? Sure. But it safes you a lot of drama, scenes and hurt feelings in your life.
After a bad heartbreak, I reacted badly and began drinking heavily. I was also feeling very hurt by women and I was feeling very cold towards them. During this time I hit on and hooked up with about 15 different women. I treated them like postage stamps, I didn’t care about them, I didn’t want to, I just wanted them to feel bad like I did. So I didn’t treat them as well as I would have before.
After I sobered up and took my own alone time to reflect on my feelings and actions. I realized how poorly I treated these beautiful women who didn’t deserve me being such an ass. These were wonderful women who had actually cared about me and I had tossed them aside like nothing. I hate that I was like that, and wish I could have been a better man then. I have strived to be a better person and be a better man, husband and father, and I think I have. It’s the only thing I can do to make up for that.
I really wish the men who were assholes would get into the martial arts, practice not even compete. They would learn real quick what a humbling experience a fist to the face gives so they’d learn words always have consequences not as extreme but still….
When I kicked a girl I was dating out of a hotel room on valentines day at like 10pm cause she was tired and didn’t wanna have sex. My drunk ass got super offended cause I put a lot of effort into making the night perfect and she was just falling asleep lol. Poor girl even tried slipping a flip flop and random things in my bag before she left to have an excuse to meet up with me again and I still just ghosted her after, was too embarrassed of my behavior to see her again. As she was walking out the door tho I already felt like a huge asshole.