Hi,
I’m in the dating scene. Throughout the year I have talked to a couple of guys. Some of them ghosted right after or never got the vibe. This question has come up a lot with all the guys. Do you rent or own? So I lied and say renting. I don’t feel comfortable enough to tell them that I own my own place. Is that a bad thing? I don’t really know these guys that I talked to. A few of my friends have said to lie as they can take half of my house but how if we’re not married? Can they really take half of my house after 6 months of dating? I have asked around but they all say no they can’t. So is it bad that I lie? I mean I will eventually tell the guy that I’m dating after getting to know them better.
Comments
This is smart
Honestly just say you’re renting. If you get to the point of it being super serious and you move in together ,if they offer to help pay for rent just say you own the place.
Never “show all of your cards” in the beginning. Not sure why they are asking if you own or rent bc it’s not really any of their business at the dating stage.
Later we’ll see, “I’m dating someone and they are lying about renting when they own”
I’m curious about how this is coming up so often. Do you live in a house in a city that’s mostly apartments or something? Maybe I’m not grown enough yet but I can’t imagine what would make me think “does she own or rent?” out of the blue
Keep your finances to yourself. No one needs to know but you. And your estate planner!
I’d reply, that’s an odd question and ignore it.
Not at all. I would instead say it’s too early to be discussing these matters.
For more context. Whenever the guys ask if I live with myself or other people. Like family or roommates. It always brings up the question do you rent or own. I thought this was normal for the guys to ask or is that also not normal?
One of my friends said if I lie about owning I’m basically starting the relationship on a lie if it does get serious. I mean I am but is it really that bad?
I think renting vs owning is an odd first date question and I think it’s a little surprising you got it multiple times
I never would tell exactly what my job was I would tell what my job was but I wouldn’t say that I was the owner.
Keep your cards close… at least for the first 6 months.
Definitely don’t tell people you own a home and don’t tell anyone where you live. There are just some crazy folks out here that will make your life a living hell if they know where you live unless you trust them. Also, your finances are none of their business. You aren’t getting married or even moving in, they don’t need to know that. I sincerely doubt that the rent or own question is being asked in good faith. If a real man wants you, it doesn’t even matter what you do or don’t have. He will continue to see you regardless. If the question is actually being asked in good faith and it’s not some kind of weird probe or test, and he is simply curious and indifferent, then it won’t be a big deal at all. It’s all about the intent of the question and the individual guy.
You’re just protecting yourself. You could say it’s a rent-to-own setup. But, in the final analysis, it’s up to you.
Its not bad. If anything its a personal preference. Just know that if you ever get serious with someone that “lie” will be in the back of their head once they learn the truth. I like to get all that stuff out the way early personally. If you’re a pos user show me now so I can k.i.m. Keeping that info from him won’t change much if he’s a terrible person…It just puts off the inevitable. Do I want to know the truth now or when I’m madly in love with the person? I’ll take now lol. I like to put it out there so I can see a persons true colors.
With that said most people won’t be honest about their nefarious intentions so you have to be able to see the red flags beyond what they show/tell you. I’m not hiding who I am. Yes I have a home and NO you can’t live there etc. I’ve owned a home since my early 20s and have never hid it from anyone. If I have to do all that then I probably shouldn’t be dating you (a lot of these dudes out here are extra crazy so I get it)
Tell them you live with your parents.
Then see if they’re still interested.
No one can take your place as long as you are not married. They don’t own shit. But in the beginning just say you rent and as things progress when you think you have someone good tell them the truth when you plan to move in together.
You are stressing about this too much
I have had men ask me all the time who I live with and I own a property? ( I find those types of men to be opportunists and looking for a free ride ).
First: no one can take anything unless you put their name on the mortgage, or have some very weird squatter scenario.
Either way, if you’re not living together they have absolutely 0 chance of getting anything from your property.
Second: there’s no reason to feel bad saying you rent.
These men must be broke