Well actually it was yesterday. Me and some church members were playing pickleball when I see a pipe. Monkey brain says pipe goes bonk equals funny, so without further thinking I bonked the nearest stranger on the head and sure enough it made the bonk sound.
Before I go any further I must emphasis that from what I know I only bonked the poor kid just enough to make the bonk sound, like a tap on the shoulder. Under no circumstances did I think to wack them as if I’m wacking zombies.
Anyhow, cut to that night. Her boyfriend told me that she had suffered mild trauma and nausea from the bonk and went to the hospital because the nausea show no sign of getting better. Luckily she has been discharged as of now but is still hurting from the bonk. I told my family and they were livid hearing that their son, a good boy with no record of assault hurt someone as an adult.
TL;DR: idiot sees pipe, thinks it’s funny to bonk people. Bonk victim goes to hospital.
Comments
You’re a fucking idiot and should be charged.
WTF. You should be in jail you fucking psycho
Jeez, dude, do you even HAVE a frontal lobe?
Did this really happen?
Pipe meets head, and you somehow thought that was a good idea? Wow. You’re a fucking moron.
Thank god you didn’t find a gun and want to hear the boom noise
What the fuck man 😭 that poor kid…I get having impulses but you gotta learn some common sense ffs
This is probably an AI output. Anyway, if it’s real that assault, and it’s aggravated as well, because a deadly weapon is used. That’s a decent stint in jail if properly smoked by a judge.
You’re using the word “bonk” like you didn’t just commit battery against a kid. I really hope they press charges and you get locked up if this is true.
“Bonking” someone is hilarious…if it’s someone you know who you regularly play around like that with, and if it’s something harmless like a wrapping paper tube or a pillow.
If I saw a LITERAL PIPE, hitting someone with it would be the furthest thing from my mind. Certainly not a random nearby child. In fact, if there was a kid around, I’d probably turn it in to someone or at least move it so no one got hurt.
Would be interested to see if this post gets an “I’m being charged with assault” update.
when intrusive thoughts win…
Copper? Aluminum? PVC? Iron? If iron then you need to reassess your thoughts.
Anything else’s shouldn’t have casuals damage at bonk speed
This is not how you “lay pipe”