I’m a woman who’s pushing 30. I have had a very, very sad life. I’ve been a victim of a lifetime of narcissistic abuse. I also have an iatrogenic health condition that was caused by surgery to correct a deviated septum. It is basically undiagnosed Empty Nose Syndrome or ENS. 5 years post op, and I’m still suffering everyday and have constant sinus infections. That is probably the most difficult thing to deal with. I have been to every doctor under the sun to see what they could do to help me and nobody wants to be the bad guy and admit that there’s nothing that can be done and that I will be sick for the rest of my life. There is no way to sue the doctor that did this to me. My life has hit a checkmate. I got married and we are now in the process of divorce because he also doesn’t want to admit that he didn’t sign up to be married to a woman who is chronically sick with a medical condition either. I have lost all hope that I’d ever be able to have children of my own. I am very intelligent and talented, and have written dozens and dozens of songs and used to be very pretty but this illness has really took a toll on my physical beauty as well. I have been suicidal for so long that the thought of ending it no longer scares me. The only thing I’d be scared of is the act of dying itself, not the aftermath. I don’t care who I hurt or what I leave behind. I hate a lot of my family members and don’t want to be associated with them because they abused me but people associate me with them by default. No matter what I do, I find myself in a lose-lose situation. I’m very disrespected by society as a whole and misunderstood by most people I interact with. I also have a stalker ex-boyfriend but no one believes me about that either. My life has been held back so badly that I really don’t believe I could ever catch up in time. I don’t have any friends. I haven’t been able to work or finish my university education. I really don’t want to live for the rest of my life in misery and barely scrapping by financially because of everything that has happened to me, especially when I worked so hard so things wouldn’t have turned out that way
TL;DR: I have a chronic health condition & don’t think I’d ever find someone to raise a family w/ because of it