A couple of days ago, I was talking with my boyfriend about one of my friends I had stopped talking to because of something horrible she had done to another one of our friends. (That is a whole other story.) I mentioned that I really disliked her because of what she had done and several other issues we had. I said she was the one person I disliked the most, and then…he said he hated my best friend.
Since then, I have been stressed out and rethinking my relationships. My best friend has always been there for me; I have known her for almost a decade. I have already stopped spending time with most of my friends because my boyfriend said he doesn’t like them or is uncomfortable with me spending time with them. Two guys, one of whom previously had a crush on me (I understand why my boyfriend was uncomfortable with that situation). I had rejected the other guy once, and he had been respectful about it ever since. I also cut out 3 of my girl-friends because he said he hated one of them, the other one he thought liked him, and the last one because he was uncomfortable that she liked women and had previously liked me. I had been friends with them for years.
This is my first long-term serious relationship, and I am scared that he is isolating me.
My best friend means the world to me and is my only other friend aside from my boyfriend. I already feel so lonely, and I get sick thinking about not being her friend anymore because she has done so much for me, and I love her so much. We do so many things together and have been each other’s #1 supporter for years, and he wants me to stop being friends with her because of these 3 top reasons.
- She talked to several guys on Snapchat before she met her current boyfriend, and he “didn’t want me around that influence” because she was a “bop.” I do not agree AT ALL with that statement. She was hurt after a guy took her virginity, then basically ghosted her 3 days later, but whenever she would try to leave fully, he would be sweet and drag it on. She just wanted to be loved.
- She dislikes him because I have to drive him everywhere (he lives 30 mins away and doesn’t have a license and frequently convinces us drive an hour further to see his mom and I sit and listen to them talk over dinner.) and because I had to pay for everything because he didn’t have a job until 2 weeks ago, and how he makes me buy food for him and has yelled at me several times, as well as making several comments on what im wearing such as im being provacative by having my crossbody bag strap inbetween by boobs, or that im wearing shorts. He only does this at competitions and blames it on being stressed or says he’s “just being honest.” Whenever I confront him, he says he’s “never mad at me, just frustrated,” making me feel like I’m overdramatic and crazy. I had complained to her several times, and he had read through some of the messages when he went through my phone, and has disliked her ever since.
- I tell her too much and ask her for advice on our relationship instead of keeping things to myself.
I did not know who to talk to, so I spoke to my best friend (I know its on his reasons I just really needed her advice she always has a sound mind and trys to look for the best in everything), and she said that she hasn’t seen me this mentally low ever and that she thinks my boyfriend is the reason. I agree, I have been really low, but I got an IUD a couple of months ago, and my boyfriend keeps blaming my mental crash on it, and that thought is low-key seeping into my brain and making me blame it on it as well.
I ended up calling my mom, and my mom said to leave my boyfriend because of this situation and many others, because she can’t bear to see me go through these highs and lows anymore.
I love him so much, but now my sisters, mom, and best friend are telling me to leave him, and they have been for a while, so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I should break up with him if I have this many doubts, and so many people are telling me to.
I have tried to leave and take a break several times, even before this. I have tried to break up with him twice and take a break several times. Every time, he kisses me and tells me everything is going to be okay and that I am just emotional or on my period. Which makes me even more upset, but I end up bottling it up. He then uses my bottling it up to blame me for our problems because I don’t communicate enough or blow up at him.
I was raised not to yell or get mad at people, and have always been afraid of confrontation. Whenever I build the courage to confront him about something, I get told it’s my fault or nothing’s wrong, and I’m just blowing things out of proportion. I am so exhausted and drained that I feel like I’m crazy, manipulative, cruel, and a burden. I feel like I can never leave because he pulls me right back in and acts like nothing’s wrong and nothing happened. I feel like a text is cruel for an 8-month relationship, and a call feels weird, but I can never leave when it’s in person. It feels so wrong to stay but also so wrong to leave.
I would REALLY appreciate some advice. Thank you for reading my post.
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Backup of the post’s body: A couple of days ago, I was talking with my boyfriend about one of my friends I had stopped talking to because of something horrible she had done to another one of our friends. (That is a whole other story.) I mentioned that I really disliked her because of what she had done and several other issues we had. I said she was the one person I disliked the most, and then…he said he hated my best friend.
Since then, I have been stressed out and rethinking my relationships. My best friend has always been there for me; I have known her for almost a decade. I have already stopped spending time with most of my friends because my boyfriend said he doesn’t like them or is uncomfortable with me spending time with them. Two guys, one of whom previously had a crush on me (I understand why my boyfriend was uncomfortable with that situation). I had rejected the other guy once, and he had been respectful about it ever since. I also cut out 3 of my girl-friends because he said he hated one of them, the other one he thought liked him, and the last one because he was uncomfortable that she liked women and had previously liked me. I had been friends with them for years.
This is my first long-term serious relationship, and I am scared that he is isolating me.
My best friend means the world to me and is my only other friend aside from my boyfriend. I already feel so lonely, and I get sick thinking about not being her friend anymore because she has done so much for me, and I love her so much. We do so many things together and have been each other’s #1 supporter for years, and he wants me to stop being friends with her because of these 3 top reasons.
I did not know who to talk to, so I spoke to my best friend (I know its on his reasons I just really needed her advice she always has a sound mind and trys to look for the best in everything), and she said that she hasn’t seen me this mentally low ever and that she thinks my boyfriend is the reason. I agree, I have been really low, but I got an IUD a couple of months ago, and my boyfriend keeps blaming my mental crash on it, and that thought is low-key seeping into my brain and making me blame it on it as well.
I ended up calling my mom, and my mom said to leave my boyfriend because of this situation and many others, because she can’t bear to see me go through these highs and lows anymore.
I love him so much, but now my sisters, mom, and best friend are telling me to leave him, and they have been for a while, so I don’t know what to do. I feel like I should break up with him if I have this many doubts, and so many people are telling me to.
I have tried to leave and take a break several times, even before this. I have tried to break up with him twice and take a break several times. Every time, he kisses me and tells me everything is going to be okay and that I am just emotional or on my period. Which makes me even more upset, but I end up bottling it up. He then uses my bottling it up to blame me for our problems because I don’t communicate enough or blow up at him.
I was raised not to yell or get mad at people, and have always been afraid of confrontation. Whenever I build the courage to confront him about something, I get told it’s my fault or nothing’s wrong, and I’m just blowing things out of proportion. I am so exhausted and drained that I feel like I’m crazy, manipulative, cruel, and a burden. I feel like I can never leave because he pulls me right back in and acts like nothing’s wrong and nothing happened. I feel like a text is cruel for an 8-month relationship, and a call feels weird, but I can never leave when it’s in person. It feels so wrong to stay but also so wrong to leave.
I would REALLY appreciate some advice. Thank you for reading my post.
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Girl you need to cut this toxic asshole asap. It’s sounds like clear cut early signs of abuse: isolation, gaslighting, controlling your appearance, forcing you to serve him (I.e. food and rides). What does he even bring to the table in this relationship? This dude is trash, just because this is your first long-term serious relationship, doesn’t mean it has to be your last.
Break up with him however you can and feel comfortable with, then cut him out like cold turkey so you don’t fall into the cycle of falling for his bs again. A good heathy relationship should not feel this difficult.
Oh honey, he is 100% isolating you. All of these behaviors are not behaviors of someone who loves you. He just wants to control you.
I’m assuming you’re young? You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t ever let a guy end your friendships.
I’ve been in similar situations before and it’s not fun. You need to put your foot down this time when you do end up leaving. Have someone come with you to back you up if he starts being a bitch about it.
I hope you get some good advice from your post, OP. Good luck 💜
And now add an internet stranger telling you to breakup with him. Text may seem cruel but he keeps manipulating you when you try and do it in person. It’s either break up or he will continue to isolate you and the abuse will escalate after you are isolated. He is already abusing you, emotionally and financially.
Sweetie, send a text and then block him. What’s he going to do, walk to your house to talk about it?
If not, six months from now you’ll be wearing sunglasses and heavy makeup to hide the bruises this abusive, broke boy gives you.
EDIT: gimme his number, I’ll break up with him and make him cry.
You already know what you need to do. You need to leave. He is isolating you from your friends. If he’s not letting you leave. Pack up while he’s at work. Write him a letter or send him a text but then BLOCK HIM and take some time for yourself, maybe a girls spa trip with mom n bff. Let them support you, stay away from that man he is manipulating you
Hon, I’m going to tell you what a friend told me when I was 22 and dating someone like this: it does not get better. If he is already doing this to you, it will get worse. Abusers like to isolate their victims. Soon, he will be alienating you from your family, too. And it will escalate. It always does. Save yourself. Get out.
You deserve better. You deserve someone who encourages you to live a full life filled with friendships and happiness.
You’re paying for everything, sitting by while he talks to his mom while you pay for everything. You drive him everywhere and pay for that too.
He hates the one person you trust most…that’s a huge red flag. He hates her because she’s got his number, sees him for the deadbeat he is, and he’s afraid that she’ll be able to get you to see it too.
You don’t love him. You love who you think he could be if he changed…for instance to accept your bff. You love who he was when you first met and he did and said all the right things. He’s letting the mask slip, pay attention.
Isolating you from your trusted friend is the first step.
Please take good care.
Move on this guy is a loser. You deserve better.
Send him a text breaking up with him, then block him EVERYWHERE!
Please break up with him right away!
Your bf is a controlling asshole. Dump him.
He IS isolating you.
You can do better.
Break up with the bf. He’s trying h to isolate you.
Listen to your mom
He uses words like bop. Lmao immature asf. You try to breakup and he just says you’re emotional or on your period? Girl wtf
Now, in addition to all those people in your real world, you have a lot of internet strangers telling you to break up with him.
He will only get worse and more controlling, and next thing you know you won’t be allowed to see your mom and sisters.
Send him a text. I don’t think you need to be alone with him. Block him.
You need to dump him not because he hates your best friend, but because he is controlling you, isolating you and taking financial advantage of you, while also treating you as if your time is his to do with what he wants.
Dump this loser and don’t look back.
He is definitely isolating you, and is very manipulative. He’s torn your self esteem down and will eventually have you so broken down that he’ll be able to start the physical abuse. Is that the life you want? You need to break up with him! Do it by text if that’s the only way you can manage it.
Lose the boyfriend and don’t be friends with bad people
His controlling behavior and insecurities with people close to you is a huge red flag. He is gaslighting you and isolating you from the people you love. Listen to your mom, you need to get out of this relationship as soon as possible. This could quickly chart into unsafe territory.
He’s isolating you so he can become more abusive and controlling. Please research trauma bonding, narcissists, abuse, all the red flags and ways to keep yourself safe. He’s not just going to let you break up with him, he’s going to become so loving, do all the great things he use to, know exactly how to spin it to make everything sound logical
You’re not dealing with a normal man
NTA. I think you love the potential you see in your boyfriend and the idea of who you think your boyfriend is but thats not who they actually are. You need to have a honest convo with yourself .
You can break up for whatever reason you want.
NAH
This breaks my heart. Because you wonder if everyone just misunderstands him, and unfairly judged him, or if maybe they’re right. Everyone told me not to marry my husband, and I did anyway because o love him and I knew better. They told me not to because of the baggage he came with. This was one instance they were wrong and I was right. (He had an ex wife and kids – not about him) we have been married 20 years.
But I’m this instance they’re right. He’s isolating you from everyone who cares about you and will tell you that what’s he’s doing is wrong. There’s a reason for you to cut off everyone except him- and they’re all bullshit. He wants you isolated and dependent on him. I know it’s hard and I know it hurts and I know uou love him and I’m sure he loves you. But he’s not good for you.
He makes you doubt yourself and blames all of your feelings and emotions on your period. He invalidates every emotion or thought you have that doesn’t benefit him. He doesn’t listen to your concerns or problems with his behavior. His behavior is perfect and you’re the one on the wrong. You’re being emotional or dramatic- it’s your fault.
But it’s not. You are not. Your feelings are valid and your issues with him are valid and should be addressed- but he refuses to listen or even consider he’s wrong.
I know it feels wrong to just ghost or block him- but he has manipulated you for months and will continue to do so. You need to protect yourself and heal- cut him off and block him and save yourself.
Do you feel small? Do you feel insecure and unsure and anxious? Like you’re wrong? Can’t trust yourself? Overthinking everything you think or feel because you don’t know if you really feel that way and if it’s true or if you’re pmsing and might just be hormonal or you’re overthinking and overreacting as usual? You have been programmed to feel this way- to not trust yourself or your thoughts anymore. He has literally brainwashed you. Listen to your mom and your best friend. Leave. Save yourself. You don’t have to feel small or wrong and walk on eggshells anymore. I know it hurts and it’s scary but you need t leave. Trust your mom. And your friend/ they love you. They have nothing to gain by manipulating you to leave- they aren’t jealous or hate him for no reason. They love you and they see what’s he’s done to you. Listen to those who care. I could be writing this to my 21 year old daughter in the same position. Please be careful and please listen. Good luck honey.
Sweetie, a text is fine, even ghosting is fine when there’s abuse and manipulation happening. He’s not respecting your wishes to leave and is holding you hostage in that relationship.
Stop looking after his feelings and start taking care of yours. In a healthy relationship, your feelings and decisions hold the same weight as your partner’s. You don’t have that here. There’s no space for politeness or etiquette when you just have to get out.
Honey, I need you to listen to all of us telling you to leave. I’ve been where you are. He is isolating you to further abuse you. Do you want to be choked, thrown across a room into a wall? Lose everything you own, get baby trapped? No. Then break up and don’t look back. Run far and fast. Please, I’m begging you to leave him. This isn’t love. Nor at all.
Abandon this person! He sounds like a selfish chlld. He wants to dictate who your friends can be, wants to be driven thither and yon like an elementary school kid in Mommy’s minivan, and has he contributed one penny to gas or car maintenance? No.
Honey, no dlck is that good. He treats you like a servant. Worse than a servant, because an employer wouldn’t assume that s/he can dictate who your friends are.
To paraphrase:
He is isolating me from every friend I have
I have to drive him everywhere
I have to pay for everything
He makes me buy food for him
He has yelled at me several times
He makes comments on what I’m wearing such as im being provocative
He makes me feel like I’m overdramatic and crazy
Your mother and your friends all tell you that he’s bad news and controlling
He love bombs you when you try to break up
I can guarantee you that he is a controlling abuser and you are caught up in the abuse cycle. It only gets worse and worse as time goes on. You need to break up with him and block him everywhere. Do not re-engage with him because he will suck you back in.
You think you are madly in love with him because this is your first relationship and you don’t know any better, and because he’s manipulating you.
The sweet guy that you love? That is a false mask utilized only to suck you back in. The real person is the one that yells at you, isolates you, and controls you. You need to run fast and far because you are in serious danger. You also need to read this book. It will help you to understand the situation you find yourself in, and help you to free yourself.
https://freebooksmania.com/2021/01/why-does-he-do-that-pdf-free-download-by-lundy-bancroft.html
Oh dear. This guy is systematically alienating you from your friends. Next up, once you have no friends left, it will be your family. Insecure men feel the need to control women and abuse them emotionally to keep them from leaving. He is doing this to you. That’s why you are so conflicted. Because he is very good at manipulating the situation. Dump him and call all of your friends and get their support. Find a good therapist and talk through some of this. But this type of guy can actually turn pretty dangerous if it goes too far. Get out now before you have no one but him left.
Sounds as though your boyfriend is controlling and is isolating you to where you have no one but him. Then he’ll have full control over your life. This is no way to live. Please seek therapy. Talk to a domestic violence advocate to help you get out of this situation safely. You deserve better. Best of luck.
UpdateMe
NTA
He is isolating you. Please leave him. A text or phone call is a perfectly acceptable way to end things. He doesn’t even drive, so you don’t drive to him.
Honey, this person has isolated you. He has cut you off from 99% of your support network. He tell you how to dress, uses you as his personal taxi service and ATM machine. He does not love you. He loves having power.
Take your power back. Do NOT break up in person, he could get violent. Send a text that it’s over, block him, move on, reconnect with your people.
YWNBTAH.
Any guy who blames things on your period goes straight into the trebuchet.
I’m a guy. You need to end this relationship, or whatever it is.
NO ONE reading this will think this is the guy for you. NO ONE.
I have no idea what you think you’re in love with, because this guy sounds emotionally abusive, manipulative, isolating, and fucking awful.
Everyone who knows your story, including your own mother, thinks this is bad for you.
LISTEN TO THEM.
Listen to your mom and bff before he isolates you from them too. The guy is controlling and potentially dangerous.
I told my daughters that things like race and religion and education don’t matter to me in their choice of boyfriend, the only thing that matters to me is that your friends like him. Your friends will see the problems before you do so if your friends don’t like him then no matter what you think he’s bad news and he has to go.
My ex husband didn’t like my BFF, but acted like he did until after our wedding. Then he just avoided getting together with my BFF and her husband, blamed it on not having anything in common with her husband. I put up with it for years, we just met for lunch. Then her husband died unexpectedly. He didn’t want me to go to the funeral or any of her son’s basketball games. I realized it was he didn’t like anyone I did. So now my BFF and I are free to get together anytime.
He is systematically isolating you. All the better to control you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your friend, but there is PLENTY wrong with your bf.
Your mom and friend are right. You need to end it. He is isolating you on purpose to have better control over you. It will not get better. Text and block and be done. He can’t drive so he can’t manipulate you in person. Please walk away now before it escalates to physical means.
One of the toughest lessons to learn in life is just because you love someone, that doesn’t mean they’re good for you or you’re meant to spend your life together. He’s not good for you, go.
Sweet one, he is CONTROLLING this situation by isolating you.
I dumped a guy who said we hung out with my friends too much. Before it ever got to that point.
You love him so much, but what does that mean? Loving you would be trust and embracing your friends that are healthy kind people.
It is odd that he shared this after you told him about a person you do not like. As if he saw an opening to make it about him.
The IUD can cause issues, I used paragard bc mirena hormones made me feel three months pregnant all the time. But I never felt low emotionally, just sick and full lime a period or early preg. Yea hormones can make you low, but what you have shared?
It is him.
Tell him you loved who you thought he was, but you will not be controlled in a relationship. Then delete him from your life and look elsewhere.
This could have been written by me 5 years ago.
I was IN this, word for word, 5 years ago.
He isolated me from my friends.
He controlled what I wore, ate, and how I worked out.
I had never felt so small.
He blamed my IUD on my depression.
He finally said he hated my best friend, and I felt the question rising in me, is this right?
I went home, and my sister came over and said hey, I see you, and I’m watching you fade. I want you to think about whether or not this is the right relationship for you.
I IMMEDIATELY burst into tears, and she drove me to a safe secondary location, a park by his house, and we ended it there.
She was my backup, so it was in and out, quick, and safe.
I got back into the car and BAWLED. But it wasn’t because I was sad, it was pure RELIEF.
I expected to be DESTROYED and torn apart, because I loved this man, he got me things and took care of me, my parents loved him.
But no. The moment it was over, I felt pure, unfiltered RELIEF.
I felt free, FINALLY. And even now, I’m sure to thank my sister every so often for getting me out. She says I’m being dramatic, but I truly believe that I wouldn’t be around anymore if she hadn’t gotten me out of that.
PLEASE leave. The future is so, so, SO worth it.
LEAVE HIM. He’s been manipulating you this entire time and HE IS ISOLATING YOU.
Send the text, block him everywhere. Make plans to be with your best friend or mom when you do it so you aren’t alone.
This is one of the very few times on reddit where I’ve seen 100% of the commenters absolutely agree on something. This guy is trash and he’s abusing you. Don’t worry about hurting his feelings, or whatever. Text him you’re done and block him on everything. Tell your mom, your sister and your best friend that you’ve done it and ask them to help shield you and give you strength. Don’t give in. He’s gonna come at you hard trying to get you back. Don’t give in. He’s gonna get angry and try to blame it on you and make you feel bad to get you back. Don’t give in. He may get another phone and call you repeatedly. Don’t. Give. In.
I promise you it’s not worth it. There’s no inkling of a good person inside of him. There’s no changing him. He’s not going to fix himself. You’re not over emotional. You’re not just on your period. You’re not cranky because of your iud. That’s all him trying to deflect the blame from himself onto you. It’s manipulation. He wants to break you down, make you doubt yourself, and make you feel like you can’t survive without him.
I dated a guy in highschool who was emotionally abusive. I was with him for 6 years and thought he was the love of my life. I remember when I got my first “real” job and had health insurance I started going to therapy and got on some antidepressants and started feeling so much better and started learning how to build myself up and heal my past trauma. He hated that. He kept telling me to stop taking the meds bc i didn’t see that they were changing me. What it really was is that I was learning to use my backbone and wasn’t taking shit from him anymore. I was becoming happier. More stable. More self reliant. I was starting to see him for how he really was.
After we graduated highschool he didn’t want to move out with me and get our own place. He wanted me to move in with him and his parents. My best friend had just had her son and her and her husband invited me to live with them bc i wanted to move out of my abusive home but not move in with my boyfriend and his (trashy) family. He told me no. I asked him why. You know what that idiot said? he said I couldn’t move in with my best friend and her husband bc her husband would (SA) me in the middle of the night and I (an SA survivor) wild be too emotionally weak to fend him off!! He had no clue how big of a wedge that drove between us because I’ve known my best friend since we were 6 and, still to this day (in my late 30s) I trust her and her husband more than anyone else on this planet (and my own now-husband).
Anyway I eventually gained the courage (aka got drunk as balls) to break up with him. He. Literally. Wouldn’t. Let. Me. He threatened me. He begged me. He’d call and keep me on the phone for hours. Begging. Pleading. Crying. Threatening me that if I went through with it he’d mail me every letter I ever wrote to him one day at a time and ask each time “remember this!?” This went on for more than 2 months.
I’m not proud of myself but I wound up cheating on him and ghosting him for a week. He had his friends calling me trying to get me to call him! Well I finally called him and told him I cheated on him. Of course, he called me a monster and I took alllll the blame. He berated me for hours. He literally made me text all of his friends to tell them how bad I fucked up. He made me take a pregnancy test so I woilsnt baby trap him with the other guys baby.
Let me tell you, girl. I’ve never been so free in my fucking life than when I finally left that piece of trash. It was hard. I’m not proud of all the things I did. But I left him.
I’m in my late 30s now and am the most happy and stable that I’ve ever been. I absolutely would not be if I had stayed with him. I’d be a miserable piece of shit just like his mom and dad.
Please. Take care of yourself. Listen to all of us. Leave him.
He’s definitely isolating you. This is controlling and it’s unhealthy. He’s expecting to be your everyone and everything. It’ll get much worse if you don’t exit now. Your friends are part of your family. Never ever be with a person who expects you to drop your community. Whatever he says, leave.
You feel he is isolating you, that’s because he is isolating you.
You haven’t listened to anyone telling you that he is not a good person, so I hope if you read back what you wrote and think if this was my daughter telling me this about her boyfriend, would I be happy he treats her like this?
HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON.
Listen to all the strangers telling you to get out and block him everywhere.
If he actually loved and respected you he wouldn’t be treating you like this.
Send him a text so he doesn’t drag you back and BLOCK HIM EVERYWHERE
This is not love. When a man loves a woman, he trusts her and wants to feel happy and empowered. He doesn’t isolate and degrade. He doesn’t tell her, her judgement is shit and so are all of her people. Listen to your momma. Honey if 10 people say he’s an a$$#ole. Then he’s probably an A$&#ole!
And by all means tell him it’s over. Via text, email, zoom or carrier pigeon! And then block his manipulative ass and NEVER EVER LET HIM BACK IN! Or believe you are setting yourself up for a lifetime or longing. Longing for a man to treat you right, to care about you the way a true love should and not care more for himself, his toys, his job…. His a$$#ole whatever. You don’t want to wake up with regrets!
Time to get rid of this guy. Ted flags everywhere.
You deserve better than this AH.
First thing abusers do is isolate you from friends and family.
You need to run and run now.
He IS trying to isolate you. Next it will be him telling you to spend less time with your sister, mom and the rest of your family.
You have already given him to puch power in who you can and can’t be around. Send a txt that you never want to see him again and if he shows up you will call the cops then block him.
You would only be the A H if you stay in this shit relationship.
Updateme
No
You need therapy because you are too psychologically weak to do anything. Everyone here can tell you to leave, but you won’t. If your boyfriend were just isolating you and dominating you I might suggest you stay, because some women really can’t live without a man to control them. But your boyfriend sounds like he’s escalating. Good luck.
He is isolating you. Read your post back to yourself.
You don’t love him bbg, you’re trauma bonded. He’s already mostly successful in isolating you, all common beginning signs of abuse. Trust those of us that have walked the road before you: it will always get worse.
Run, don’t walk, away.
i broke up with a man once bc his teeth were so crooked that it pinched/cut my tongue when we kissed. You can break up with someone for any damn reason.
Also it sounds like he’s isolating you. bop out
Dump him.
I wasted years on a man just like that and it was his insistence that I end my friendship with my best friend that ended our relationship.
You’ve never felt love like this before, but should it hurt like this? Will he eventually go back to the guy you first dated?
The fun one!
He won’t.
He’ll get worse.
Eventually he’ll hit you.
You’ll make excuses and won’t realize how hot the boiling water is until one day he goes too far.
And then when it’s over and you can take your first real deep breath in a long time you’ll realize the bullet you dodged.
Then you’ll call your best friend (who you still have) tell them exactly how this asshole has been treating you and they’ll take you out for brunch to process!
One day in the future you’ll read a post that rings eerily similar to your own story, perhaps in bed next to the love of your life (as I am now). You’ll think for a moment about the bullet you dodged and give that person the same advice I’m giving you now.
Dump him.
Nta he’s trying to control you and you’re allowing it.
Your boyfriend sounds like trash and he hates that your bff knows he’s trash.
Don’t date people who yell at you! Unless it’s “watch out for that car!” yelling is never okay!
OP. I’m not trying to sound harsh but you need to wake up!
I was once in a relationship like this and everyone around me told me to leave and I could do better and I didn’t listen and man I wish I did. It got so much worse.
This guy is isolating you from the people who care about you. He’s gaslighting you to make you feel like you’re the insane one or that it’s your “hormones” acting up. You are right to break up with him and you should have like yesterday.
If you don’t feel safe enough to break up with him in person do it via text. Then block him. Have a mutual friend drop his stuff off and to pick your stuff up if you or him have left stuff at each others places. Do not let him talk you back in. He is abusive and has more red flags than a Ferrari race.
I couldn’t read this. Your boyfriend is a flog. Dump him and know that your bestie will support you through the heartache.
Four words – coercive control, get out.
It’s amazing the leaps women take in the comments.
He’s not required to like your friends. My GFs friends are a mixed bag of dickheads and decent people
This is step one in the abusive narrative, once he isolates you from everyone you’re close to, he’ll cut you down mentally and then physically. Get out now, please, as someone who has been there, please get out before it gets bad and you have scars for the rest of your life
You need to seriously reconsider your relationship with him. It sounds a lot like he is slowly, but surely trying to isolate you from friends and loved ones. That is a humongous red flag.
It will only get worse from here on out.
What exactly do you get out of this relationship?
NTA he is trying to isolate you from your friends and family.
He will only get worse and treat you worse as time goes on.
He is abusing you mentally and it is only a matter of time before the abuse turns physical.
Text him that you dump him & then block him.
I’m 50 years old, have been married, divorced, been through casual and serious relationships – sometimes with decent men, sometimes with horrendous ones – and the one thing I have always been proud if is I have never once chosen a man over a good friend. Whether it be cancelling a get together with them in order to be with him, or taking on board his opinions of them – not once.
Men are plentiful and cheap, love isn’t ever ‘enough’ to sustain a toxic relationship and good friends are rare.