Friend upset I commented on his “body”

Liam (my best friend’s boyfriend) has recently come to me asking for advice on improving his health. Liam is extremely over weight.

I’ve been training him in the gym. I’ve been giving him a workout plan that fits his schedule. I’ve been teaching him proper form, progressive overload, training til failure, and alternatives to certain exercises in case a machine is taken because he can only go in the evening.

I’ve also been giving him pointers on healthier eating habits. I’m a big fan of “micro-changes”. Because complete diet changes set a lot of people up for failure and are hard to manage long term. Things like “Let’s say you go to Dunkin every day and get a large iced coffee with 5 creams and 6 sugars, maybe get a medium. or do 4 creams and 5 sugars”
“If you go to mcdonald’s and get a big mac, maybe try a double cheeseburger and add mac sauce and lettuce” I’ve been giving him pointers for making little adjustments like that.

He’s not been listening to my advice. This man EATS. Every time we’ve gone out to dinner he orders an appetizer, sometimes two, and gets an entree. We went to a place which is basically bar taco, and he gets 2-3 apps and like 16-18 tacos, and empanadas. We went to perkins one time and he got an entree, asked for chocolate chips in the pancakes, side of whip cream, an extra bowl of gravy, and extra side of hash browns. He also always orders a soda with no ice so he gets more soda. He just absolutely pigs out and has to upgrade everything he gets. He thinks not eating all day and only eating dinner will help him lose weight. I said to him he might over eat with dinner because he’s starving and that I didn’t think it was a good idea. He also at least 2-3 times a week tells me about a new fast food item coming out.

Recently he called me and told me about how he had 600 mg of caffeine. And I said that maybe that wasn’t healthy and he should be careful. Especially recently with the few people in their 20’s who have died of caffeine overdose. He said he doesn’t drink like that often and that he’s being drinking that much + more since forever. And I said well it’s okay until one day it’s not and he’s getting older now.

Apparently the day after this conversation he told Donna that he was gonna have a talk with me because he’s upset with how I’m always talking about his body. To my knowledge I’ve never said anything about the physical appearance of his body. Just his eating and caffeine consumption habits. He also came to me for advice. He’s very sensitive about this and he seems to not want to face how unhealthy his habits are. Donna has said to me that she’s afraid she’s gonna be a widow and I agreed. Liam was told this and instead of it giving him some encouragement he said “Wow you guys really think I’m that unhealthy” and i just wanted to say “YESSSSS”

I am dreading this phone call.