While a conversation is going on; ask yourself if you’re talking too much about yourself, if you’re asking the other person questions, if you’re actually really listening to them.
In your Career; Do you actually deserve that raise or promotion? Or do you just feel flat out entitled to it? Take a look at someone whose in a higher position than you, analyze the qualities they have and try to apply that to yourself. Keep yourself accountable. Are you continuously learning? Are you trying to learn new skills in your off time that will help in your career? Do you think you can do more and are you doing more? Be honest with yourself.
If you’re genuinely being a good person. If you’re reacting with anger to every situation. Think about an outsider prospective, think about how others might perceive you and if there’s any changes to make. When you take a look at yourself in the mirror, what can you change? Do you like what you see and who you are to your core? If not make changes. Taking a step back from something and analyzing your own behaviors, figuring out the “why” of why you do something. Try to improve yourself every single day.
Are you being fair about a situation, even if that means that it doesn’t work in your favor. Keeping yourself honest and accountable. Really be honest with yourself, yes you fucked up, own up to it. Are you taking responsibility for it? Or are you just blaming others? Its okay to be wrong, just as long as you learn from it and try your best the next time.
I live with schizoaffective/schizophenia- and sometimes I need to take a step back and say “okay is this really me, or is this my illness. Is this a delusion or do I really have a valid point here” and really taking time to dissect things. I’m considered high functioning, off medication, but even on meds (which I currently am), sometimes things slip through.
A good one for dealing with anxiety or negative reactions is “why am I upset?” It helps with naming your reaction and determining if it’s valid, or if your past trauma is rearing its head.
“Am I doing what I am doing because it makes sense to me and I want to do it, or because it is accepted as the natural thing to do by the society and I am getting caught up in it with the delusion that it is me who chose it?”
Whenever you’re faced with negative thoughts, ask yourself the following: Am I confusing a thought with a fact? Is it possible that I am wrong? Are these thoughts causing me to act out of character? How do I want to feel/act based on what I know to be true at this very moment?
These questions can also help prevent jumping to conclusions when you don’t know the facts about a situation.
If I’m doubting whether I should do something or not I think “Do I invision myself being happy with this in the future?” “Can I look back at this moment and be confident with my choice or is it something I’m going to regret?”
What is it about that person I dislike that is the reflection of me? What am I feeling? Have my motives been pure? Why do I have such a strong response to that?
Comments
whenever i am not sure wether my emotions are valid : how would i react if this happened to my best friend and she would tell me about it ?
Oooo this is a great question!
While a conversation is going on; ask yourself if you’re talking too much about yourself, if you’re asking the other person questions, if you’re actually really listening to them.
In your Career; Do you actually deserve that raise or promotion? Or do you just feel flat out entitled to it? Take a look at someone whose in a higher position than you, analyze the qualities they have and try to apply that to yourself. Keep yourself accountable. Are you continuously learning? Are you trying to learn new skills in your off time that will help in your career? Do you think you can do more and are you doing more? Be honest with yourself.
If you’re genuinely being a good person. If you’re reacting with anger to every situation. Think about an outsider prospective, think about how others might perceive you and if there’s any changes to make. When you take a look at yourself in the mirror, what can you change? Do you like what you see and who you are to your core? If not make changes. Taking a step back from something and analyzing your own behaviors, figuring out the “why” of why you do something. Try to improve yourself every single day.
Are you being fair about a situation, even if that means that it doesn’t work in your favor. Keeping yourself honest and accountable. Really be honest with yourself, yes you fucked up, own up to it. Are you taking responsibility for it? Or are you just blaming others? Its okay to be wrong, just as long as you learn from it and try your best the next time.
I live with schizoaffective/schizophenia- and sometimes I need to take a step back and say “okay is this really me, or is this my illness. Is this a delusion or do I really have a valid point here” and really taking time to dissect things. I’m considered high functioning, off medication, but even on meds (which I currently am), sometimes things slip through.
If I’m feeling unconfident, I ask myself what a man would do.
If I feel strongly about something I have to ask myself if I am being an ass/am I considering other perspectives.
If an interaction feels bad I ask myself how I would handle it.
“What do I want my home to feel like?”
This was a big one for helping me process my childhood, get out of a shitty relationship, and create a peaceful safe space for my kids and I.
A good one for dealing with anxiety or negative reactions is “why am I upset?” It helps with naming your reaction and determining if it’s valid, or if your past trauma is rearing its head.
“Am I doing what I am doing because it makes sense to me and I want to do it, or because it is accepted as the natural thing to do by the society and I am getting caught up in it with the delusion that it is me who chose it?”
“Would you accept this behaviour if it was you on the receiving end?”
Does it feel right? If it doesn’t feel right then it doesn’t
What are my deepest core values; and am I living by them?
Whenever you’re faced with negative thoughts, ask yourself the following: Am I confusing a thought with a fact? Is it possible that I am wrong? Are these thoughts causing me to act out of character? How do I want to feel/act based on what I know to be true at this very moment?
These questions can also help prevent jumping to conclusions when you don’t know the facts about a situation.
“Does it matter? Why?” “What can happen if I do it?” “What can happen if I don’t do it?”
Helps me with social anxiety
If you talked to your friends the way you talk to yourself, would you still have those friends?
If I’m doubting whether I should do something or not I think “Do I invision myself being happy with this in the future?” “Can I look back at this moment and be confident with my choice or is it something I’m going to regret?”
What is it about that person I dislike that is the reflection of me? What am I feeling? Have my motives been pure? Why do I have such a strong response to that?
“Slow down. What do you need right now?”
“What do you wish that ___________ looked like?”
Am I behaving like the person I want to be?