My girls were molested by their stepbrother for at least 3 years before we knew about it. He was charged with child molestation and ended up pleading to battery (not enough, but I didn’t want my 6 year old to have to testify). His disposition was today and he got—nothing. They think him going to therapy, being on honor roll and in band is enough. I knew I’d be disappointed, but goddamn.. not even probation. Thoughout this whole process I have been sorely disappointed with our justice system. It’s all been about Joe (not real name) and getting him help, nothing for my girls who are the victims. What can I do? I feel like I need to advocate and fight in some way to get harsher punishment for juvenile offenders.
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Contact rainn. There’s still the option of holding him civilly liable, potentially.
Does he at least have to register as a sex offender? Is his band teacher aware of his conviction? Is the school?
I’m terribly sorry this happened. Is there any possibility of getting a restraining order against him, even though he’s a minor? Or some kind of restitution from his guardian(s) to pay for your daughters’s therapy?
I was involved in a similar situation 20+ years ago. The girl involved did end up testifying, supported by the CALICO project: https://www.calicocenter.org/
Even so, for various reasons, I feel that justice was not served in her case, and it’s still difficult for me to process. Please remember to take time for yourself as well ❤️🩹
Is there any possibility he will be around them again?
What did his father say/do about the situation?
I think a lot of CSA survivors can recall how to traumatic it is to not be seen or believed by your guardians. So focus on getting them as far away as possible, cutting off all contact with Joe, and shielding them from any flying monkeys coming your way. Be ready to make hard decisions when it comes to your relationship with their step father.
Therapy is a good start, but it helps if their support system is away from your shared social circle with Joe. If there was any public coverage then keeping distance helps your kids process everything in their own time. No one would want to be reminded of such a thing by peers, even if it were a supportive environment.
As for Joe: seems he’s already getting everything he could want or need. He needs to be rehabilitated, but your job is to be there for your girls first. Do not engage as a part of his support system.
Civil suit and restraining order.
My only advice is extremely unproductive and would land you in prison for life. That being said, the most important thing you can do is be there for your girls, be patient with them… their moods are going to change a lot for a little while, they’ll be angry. Sad. Paranoid. Anxious. Just dont let it get to you, dont take it personally, remind them youre here for them, and they are safe. Obviously therapy, medicine, Yada Yada Yada. But the most important thing is letting them know they don’t have to go through this alone, that even though the world has failed them they can always count on you ❤️
Tell people the truth about what he did.
Don’t let him get a way with having a false reputation. It’s on you and your “village” to set the record straight.
Because these people don’t just stop at their first victims.
He a criminal who can play an instrument. Not a boy that made a mistake.