TIFU by Taking a Blinker and Becoming “Two Hit Tony”

TIFU by getting high for the first time….

Imagine me: a really happy fun loving asian dude named Tony who never smoked weed before in his life gets offered a hit from his friend Kevin at a function. So, I’m just like “fuck it, sure I’ll finally try it, why not? BUT… don’t fuck me up too hard” and then my friend Kevin is like “aight bet” So then he tells him to take a hit of his pen. I take a small hit and exhale immediately, don’t even inhale. Barely any smoke. Kevin tells me, “Tony Tony, you’re barely hitting it. You gotta keep hitting it until the light blinks”

I’m thinking ‘okay there’s a method to this, I’ll try agin’. Halfway through it hits me, and I want to stop but I keep going and look up with a scowl and wide eyes at Kevin. Right when the light starts blinking I exhale and I start dying. And why I say dying I mean dying. Not coughing. DYING.

It hurt so bad and I’m high af for the first time ever. I’m thinking about my Mom and whens the last time I called her, the music is morphing with my inner dialogue and I feel as if I’m talking to God himself. All the while hacking up a lung as I run to the bathroom and throw up in the toilet. My friends were chasing me to see where where I was going and were laughing in hysterics around me as I’m barfing. I look up at the squad “what the fuck did you do to me?”

Kevin wipes some tears from his eyes and in between laughing fits he says “bro I’m sorry you weren’t hitting it right but I didn’t know how bad that blinker would hit you. I am so sorry man”

“Who am I?” I asked. I genuinely forgot. God was telling me like we’re all connected, all parts of each other. I could’ve been Kanye West for all I knew.

“What?” Bean (one of the other friends at the kickback) said, sharing a glance with Kevin.

“I don’t” cough “remember” cough “Who I am” cough “Or where I am” cough “I recognize you guys though” cough “You’re my mother fucking boy Bean, but Kevin” cough “best believe we have beef now” I stammered.

Kevin shrugged his shoulders and stretched his arms out “You asked for it homie”

“Not this…” I coughed. “Never… this…..”

The boys then sorta realized the severity of the situation and moved me to a couch. As they laid me down they realized that I was almost unconscious but they started recording anyway….

“Ayyyyy Tony, how you doing man?” Bean razzed me.

“Hungry… Please. Food. Pizza. Anything please” I murmured. I had never been this hungry in my life, but I couldn’t move.

“We’ll make ya some food Tony, give it a sec” Bean said to me.

“Hey how many hits ya take Tony?” Kevin asked?

“Fuck you Kevin…. T..Two hits” I gasped as I had a vivid flashback to exploding my lung.

“TWO HITS?!? How you feeling now?” Kevin exclaimed. I didn’t respond and instead opened my eyes: as red as a matadors cape. “Man the saying is puff puff pass. Not puff puff pass out. You know what, from now on I’m gonna start calling ya ‘Two Hit Tony’ ” Kevin continued.

“Ay, ‘Two Hit Tony’. I like that it has a ring to it” Bean said “You good Ton’?”

I was now unconscious.

“He’s asleep” Bean said.

“Goodnight ‘Two Hit Tony’ rest in peace you sweet angel”

They stopped recording and posted the video on TikTok and quickly it went semi-viral.

When the video started going viral my friends realized it could be a bad thing and took it down. Hope there’s still no footage out there of it.

TL;DR: Was offered to hit a thc vape at a kickback. My friend fucked me over by instructing me wrong. They recorded me and I went viral for something I don’t want to be known for.