It seems that there is a new tragedy in the news every week, with each being somewhat similar or different from the next. However, the one thing that always seems to be the same is the attitude in the comments or amongst the general public when a child is involved.
You hear about a terrorist bomb attack and it’s “were any of the victims children?”
No, but 16 adults died on the scene.
You hear about a bombing as part of a war and people cry “this needs to stop, children are dying!”
But it wouldn’t need to stop if only adults were being blown away by an MK-84?
You hear about a husband murdering his family and the comments under the news article all ask “how could a man do that to his own children?”
How could a man do that to his wife who he has known and allegedly loved for ten years.
I understand that it feels more upsetting when a child is involved in some sort of tragedy, because they are usually innocent, and could have had so much life left to live. However, I think we should make a conscious effort to better remember the adults who also lose their lives in horrific situations every single day. Adults have potential and a future ahead of them too, not just kids. I don’t think the tragedy of a murder/war/attack should be measured by how many years old the victims were.
TLDR: An unnatural death of an adult and an unnatural death of a child are equally awful.
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Maybe a young adult but dying at 80 isn’t sad. We all die. 80 is a good run
Because a child’s death is less “expected” and you’re losing a future ahead.
What is the point of this post lol
Are you talking natural causes, murder, accidents, war?
This is someone without kids.
Both are bad , especially in murders , wars, and anything unexpected and violent like that
When i see someone has passed away at my kids age it hits me 500x more. I’m assuming if I was 60 and my kid was 40 and I had heard that a whole bunch of 40 year olds had passed away it would effect me the same way. That’s the only explanation I can have for why we do this i think.
Agreed. I think the same thing when I see/here news stories about an attack in the wars, with headlines like “bombing killing 12 civilians INCLUDING 4 CHILDREN”. It doesn’t make a difference that there were children. ALL the lives were equal tragedies!
It’s hard wired in our brains to protect children. In any emergency, we make sure children are safe first. If people are starving, children eat first. If your village was under attack, you keep the children behind all the lines of defense. That’s not just a societal norm, that’s how our species has survived this long. So, it’s not surprising that when a child dies, it’s psychologically more impactful.
That’s the real reason. Beyond any level of rationalization of who’s life has more value or why. We are biologically driven to protect/defend children. So, when one dies, we are innately going to feel worse than if an adult does because, to our 50,000-year-old brains, we failed in our biological duty. It literally hits us on an instinctual level.
All deaths are sad but some are more tragic. My father died at age 99 and that was incredibly sad for all of us.
My brother died at age 18. That was tragic. You’re comparing apples and oranges. One person has lived a full and productive life. The other hasn’t even begun their life.
I’m pretty sure you don’t have kids.
You’re assuming that adult deaths aren’t impactful. If a war is going on and only killing adults, people would still call for an end to it
I agree. Tbh I mourn more teenager or young adult death. They experienced live, they had dreams, passion Connections. Kids can be easily replaced
Unpopular indeed
You’ve obviously never buried a child of your own.
Properly unpopular I reckon
Children and elderly people are defenseless. It makes it worse.
That’s just sensationalism. No one cares about children.
Dying at 9 is definitely more tragic than dying at 90. A 90 year old got to live a full life while a 9 year old didn’t.
I feel any unnatural death is a tragedy. It doesn’t matter if it’s a kid, young adult or someone in their 60s, they still had time ahead of them, still had plans, family and friends, still could’ve accomplished something.
It’s bad if anyone dies. But let’s not pretend a 90 year old and a 5 year old are equally as tragic. The old person got to live a full life. Now obviously that means there’s a sliding scale. But for a kid, they never get to grow up, experience so many things, figure out who they are. It’s objectively more tragic. That doesn’t take away from the tragedy of anyone dying. But when my grandma died I came to peace with it. She was like 92 and in declining health. If my son died I’d probably never recover.
I feel like, oftentimes, the deaths of children are treated as unimportant. Sure, there will be a public outcry at a mass shooting, but in a matter of days, it will be overridden by the next tragedy. So many, “but the children!” Outcries are performative.
Another example, so many abused die quietly, with their deaths considered accidents. If anything, we don’t care enough about the children who are already here and that’s a damn shame.
Children often lack the autonomy to keep themselves from harm. Adults are often the authors of their own misfortune.
It’s easy to feel differently for kids than grownups.
It’s because children are innocents. They have no power or say in anything, including where they are and who they’re with and what is going on around them.
Sounds like an apologist for what is happening in Gaza. Yeah, children are innocent. They deserve a chance to live their lives. They have nothing to do with the adult fuckery that goes on. So seeing an innocent child starve to death or get their limbs blown off is more tragic. We are meant to protect them.
Children dying is more lost time they could’ve had. A 60 year old got 60 years of experience and had less time left. A 10 year old child only had 10 years of experience and had more time left. That’s why the loss of a child is considered greater, just logically, not even emotionally but that too.
I agree and always thought the same. That adult was a child and someone’s baby
An adult is more equipped to defend themselves and get out of situations than a child, especially an infant. Their lives have barely begun. While death is tragic for both, of course Im going to feel worse about the 2 yr old than the 55 year old.
At some point (parents excluded) most people can come to terms with an adults death and find peace. Children’s deaths are always irrational to our minds. It’s instinct. Especially when they are the victims of violence. Normal human beings cannot comprehend acting in violence against a child.
Yeah. Kids lives aren’t more valuable than adults.
I disagree. I think the death of a child is seen as more tragic because the adult has lived longer than the child. Thus having had more experience in life. I think it is seen as more tragic because the child didn’t GET to become an adult.
I agree we should make a more conscious effort to remember adults lost in tragedy – but a child’s death will always be more tragic given they are so innocent and their life has just started. Hopefully you have never and will never go to a child’s funeral. That would definitely change your mind.
You really can not fathom why a bunch of minors being shot at carries an extra layer of fucked up?
one day before you’re a legal adult in your country, you can get away with A lot more then day after, that’s true.
Also I have this idea that 1 persons live is equal to all other lives combined. Children are of course very handy for propaghandi, it’s the harsh truth.
I am 37, so if there was a referendum to kill me or a (1)7 year old, I am dead meat, but who is going to tell if than man or woman is not going to be a serial killer in a decade?
edit; I just saw that I took it a stretch further than you.
It’s not equally tragic, their life is worth more than ours.
Why do people assume the child would have experienced life and fun and it could have been great. Could be a potential terrible life, kinda pie in the sky
Children don’t contribute to world problems. People of all political leanings can mourn a child. For adults we do weird math about their age and character and level of responsibility for their death etc.
Yeah definitely unpopular. Someone dying at 30 is a tragedy, and not something to be taken lightly. Someone dying at 5 is unspeakable. Children who die barely have a chance to live, to experience any sort of life. And the hole that it leaves in the parents is unimaginable. They’re definitely not equally as tragic to me.
I don’t know, man. I remember hearing about a wrestler who killed his wife and kid. No joke, my mom responded with, “I can see killing your spouse, but that’s your child.”
Bro what. Old people die of course it’s going to generally be not as important. It’s the circle of life fam. A baby dying is horrifically tragic, a life cut short. What a waste of a post.
I work in retirement homes so let me give some perspective. We have procedures for emergency situation. Tornado, earthquake, hurricane, flood, fire, extreme weather, ect. and all of them require all staff to assist residents to our safety. Doesn’t matter if your kitchen, cleaning, or office staff you help, except in an active shooter situation. Our goal is to get out to safety
There are a few reasons for this but here are the two most important reasons. One, you can’t be guaranteed that someone else has called for help so you have to get away and call for help. Two and truly, the second reason is the biggest one, these people are old, they’ve lived long lives. They’ve enjoyed retirement, and there’s no way to help them. And many of these residents agree with this.
It’s not to say that it won’t be tragic, but they’ve lived full lives, a 5-year-old was not even given a chance.
If I die (a fully grown woman) a majority of the reasons would be my fault or the fault of my choices leading to it.
If a child dies its typically from a mistake the parent made. Theres a lot more guilt and tragedy tied into that the there is when an adult dies. Kids literally dont know any better. They do not have the mental capacity to understand that the consequences of their actions can be death.
I totally agree with you, OP.
What’s also pretty disturbing, is that when a very pretty woman is killed, the media puts so much focus on her beauty. I mean, would the death of a less attractive woman be less tragic?
A 5 year old dying with all the possibilities of life left is definitely more tragic than a 65 year old who’s done contributing and has no potential left
Upvoted the unpopular opinion
OP this comments thread is enough to prove that most people can’t read.
I agree. I don’t know why people get more worked up over children’s deaths. A death is a death.
Maybe it has to do with the perceived safety of places we bring children too. If that place is not secure then where is it?
I think there are a few reasons for this. First, in war reporting there are often great discrepancies in number of combatant deaths according to reports coming from opposing sides. There is also lots of debate and grey area around who counts as a combatant and who does not. It’s generally understood that in most situations small children are not combatants (and those that participate in violence are not acting of their own accord). Therefore, reporting child deaths is a way of expressing the scope of the tragedy while bypassing the combatant vs civilian debate. It’s also an easily proven war crime. Second, most adults become parents at some point in their lives. It is generally accepted that one of the worst things a parent can endure is the loss of a child. Many parents would rather pass away themselves than see their children die. As a parent, it is difficult to hear about the death of a child without thinking of your own child. This creates a bigger personal emotional response. Third, I think it’s an evolutionary thing. We are generally hardwired to protect our offspring even when it goes against our own self interest. Obviously there are some terrible parents out there, but in general exhausted parents still wake up at night to make sure their crying baby is fed rather than tossing the baby out the window. Humans don’t have many offspring compared to many other species, so our evolutionary success depends heavily on our heavy emotional investment in the survival of each of our offspring. We can’t just make 50 more like rabbits do. Therefore, humans are hardwired to be more emotionally concerned with the welfare of children than the welfare of other adults. I’m not saying it’s right, but it does make sense
People that say the child is more tragic are using life as the scaled quantity of loss, and the value therein. It’s relative to the value that you put of societal experience in life.
Meh, kids are innocent, the adult might’ve been a prick
Thank you OP, this in particular always gets to me. It has to do with earlier times, how all military aged men were expected to participate and die in war while women and children were to be left alone. We still cling onto that mentality even though we’ve evolved from those times and now (mostly) recognize all life to be important.
Who’s saying these tragic events have less of an impact when children aren’t involved? That’s the bigger question here. Your literal whole point hinges on the fact that nobody cares about a bombing if it only killed adults… says who?
Like others have said, let’s not pretend a 90 year old dying is the same as a literal child. It’s just not. But that doesn’t equate to nobody caring about horrific tragedies like bombings when only adults are involved… it’s such a leap again I really don’t even know how you got there.
I mean I feel like it’s fairly obvious why the death of a child is usually treated as the most horrific… it’s a child. They’ve barely lived. Everybody dies… just how it is, and that becomes more likely as years go on. The younger the victim is, the more years of life were taken away – to put it factually and bluntly. And this ISN’T to say that a horrific death of an adult isn’t tragic, or that they didn’t have more life to live, which is what you’re claiming in your post. Nobody is saying that.
You ever hear someone say “now I can die happy”? Yeah, there are a lot of things that full grown adults have gotten to experience in life that a child who has died never could. They never even get to experience real life.
Kids have not had as much of a chance to live yet. It’s tragic either way, but I certainly think it’s slightly sadder when the victims are more innocent and have had less of a chance at life.
They are ALMOST equally awful. But not quite. The child is slightly more awful because they are more likely to have been truly innocent.
Honestly this feels like a self centered take. It reminds me of grown men who get jealous of their new babies getting attention from their wife. Why are you bothered by the human urge to protect and value children over grown adults?
if you need this explained to you lol
Absolutely! All human life is equally valuable!
I can’t even read the article on a child dying. So wtf no it is different. I’m sure I’m not the only one affected.
As someone who has personally witnessed both as a medical professional, it’s not even close
Besides the years children have left ahead, another reason it’s way worse is because young children are meant to outlive their parents. If my 14mo old died before I did, the grief I’d experience is unfathomable. Thinking about putting a tiny coffin into the ground is bringing me to tears already.
Sure, if I died, my mother would be heartbroken to the grave too. But at least I’ve lived a wonderful 27 years 🤷🏽♀️.
Every life is valuable, and it’s always sad when life is taken. It’s a different type of sad when little humans are involved tho. And I think it’s completely normal and fair. It’s a false correlation to say that just because someone asks “did any children die?” That it must mean that they don’t care about the adult fatalities.
A parent should never have to bury their child
A child should have to bury their parent
The same goes for different races, but you can’t say it without sounding like an asshole.