How do you handle your sexual urges?

r/

I’m gay and like most men I assume, I have a very high sex drive. It’s always somewhere on my mind. As a gay man though I can have sex or get head whenever I want. I always wonder how straight men handle this, I assume female partners don’t have the same sexual urges as men so I’m just curious how my straight bros take care of things?

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

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    I’m gay and like most men I assume, I have a very high sex drive. It’s always somewhere on my mind. As a gay man though I can have sex or get head whenever I want. I always wonder how straight men handle this, I assume female partners don’t have the same sexual urges as men so I’m just curious how my straight bros take care of things?

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  2. dingus-8075609 Avatar

    If the monkey is being bad you have to spank it sometimes.

  3. C137-Morty Avatar

    You assume wrong lol

    I’m sure the Grindr scene is way easier for casual hook ups. I guess the main difference is that we’re seeing the same woman multiple times, or dating.

  4. texasgambler58 Avatar

    Self-gratification.

  5. BIZNIZTIZ Avatar

    Jork it every once in a while and get on with business

  6. Deep-Youth5783 Avatar

    I ask my wife.  She almost never turns me down.  She also has a sensitive accelerator and insensitive brakes (analogy comes from the “dual control model” of sexual desire) so she’s pretty much down for anything as long as she isn’t in pain.

  7. failed_install Avatar
  8. AnAnonyMooose Avatar

    Throughout most of my marriage, the answer was to be frustrated and jerk off about 10-15x for every time I was with my wife. Now I have a gf too with a higher drive than her so that ratio has dropped a lot, but my wife has said I really would need about 3-4 women. Not doing that for other reasons though.

  9. Early-Competition-75 Avatar

    Maybe straights cruise on here, to find horny gay guys to satisfy their needs 🤫

  10. dayvonsth444-pt2 Avatar

    Well i just stopped wanking like a month ago. After multiple times a day for years no end. (23 currently) and i THOUGHT that was helping but it wasnt shit even after ejaculation im still rarring to go imo i dont think ill ever have it satisfied im just a horny mofo it sucks when my girl says no(then she comes and ask me when im half sleep) but I usually just go play the game or comment on reddit threads till the horny wears off

  11. stogie_t Avatar

    I don’t doubt that gay dudes get laid a lot more lmao. But I think you’re underestimating women a little bit here. Women can have high sex drives too, you just gotta get them to feel comfortable and safe from judgement and shit. Might be an age thing tho.

  12. Terrapin9900 Avatar

    You know how woman complain about getting lead on

  13. EigenThirst Avatar

    I post nudes here, hoping to find someone interested in me. And exhibitionism kinda helps me quench the thirst somehow.

  14. vDorothyv Avatar

    I think you’re conflating your own experience of having a high sex drive to the old stereotype about guys thinking about sex more than women.

  15. Shoddy_Incident5352 Avatar

    Self hate, frustration, Masturbation. I’m ugly, boring and not charismatic, so I can’t get relationships or sex 

  16. throwrashelves24 Avatar

    You’re dealing with a lot of misinformation here buddy.

    1. I’m not saying this to offend anyone but the social media is filled with the lower echelon of men. Lack of ability to find sexual partners is often exaggerated. This planet has over 4 billion people on this planet.

    2. Women are just as horny as men are. But when you get on social media the reality is that you almost never hear the whole story. For example, men will get on the internet and say things like “my wife doesn’t want to sleep with me anymore!” But they won’t talk about the million things that happened to get to that point.

    3. Being gay doesn’t mean that you have unlimited sex. Like everyone else you still have to deal with availability of partners and attraction. For example, I can confidently say I’ve never had trouble finding women who want to have sex with me. I’m 34 and I haven’t been single for more than one month since I’ve been 18. And in that time I’ve had 7 serious relationships and 30+ hookups. But my experience isn’t universal.

    Like bro, I have to hide my dick for my wife sometimes. On Sunday we had sex 4 times. Then again on monday, tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday I was so tired of sex I literally went to the gym late at night just to avoid her.

  17. MyLandIsMyLand89 Avatar

    I envy gay men before sex is basically always on the table for them. Want a blowjob? Done. Want to fuck an ass? Done.

    Men’s love language is sex. Women’s love language is emotions. Unfortunately even if you meet that love language sex isn’t guaranteed.

    For men to even get a HJ from a woman it requires so much investment. Money and time. Women feel emotionally connected through gifts and thoughtful considerations all of which take a lot of time. Men don’t mind the pursuit but that doesn’t mean it’s not exhausting. Sometimes it feels like all of the stars need to align perfectly to get them into bed while men you basically just say “Hey I am bored. Want some head?” and it’s done. Men require no emotional investment or even money. Just be a decent person and look good.

    I love females but I envy the gay community sometimes.

  18. lupuscapabilis Avatar

    My wife is pretty open to whenever I want. Im busy enough with work and life that I don’t torture her.

  19. SFWACCOUNTBETATEST Avatar

    …what do you mean “whenever you want?” How is that possible?

  20. Wonderful_Belt4626 Avatar

    I’m blessed to be living in Thailand, home of plentiful, cheap sex for a guy with a string sex drive still…My Thai wife decided about five years ago that she didn’t like sex anymore, it’s fairly common, hence why so many Thai men get a “mia noi” or mistress, with the wife’s full knowledge and acceptance.
    Me being bi helped as she didn’t really want me shagging women, but ladyboys were fine, go figure.. Ladyboys love sex too, so a good result…

  21. Forsaken-Green-7774 Avatar

    F here, i have sexual urges especially when im fertile. when im still in a relationship, i ask him. but when im single, i just masturbate or have a short fling lol

  22. Prof_Scott_Steiner Avatar

    I’m borderline demi, but when I’m in a relationship and I’m emotionally engaged, a switch gets flipped and I become hypersexual.

    I don’t stay with chaste women or women who feel guilty when they get wet.

    I’m fairly active in my local community on FetLife, but I don’t play with anyone I’m not dating and most of the women I know on the platform are some of my best friends.

    So to answer your question: when I’m single, I just jerk off when I’m occasionally horny. When I’m in a relationship though, I’m fucking her 2-5 times a day. My last relationship was an LDR, so she barely had enough time to put down her purse before I’d be all over her

  23. memes_are_facts Avatar

    Never really had a problem finding someone to participate with me.

  24. Starthelegend Avatar

    Dunno, I’ve never really felt a crazy overwhelming urge. I like sex and it’s fun but I’ve also never felt like I’ve had an urge for it. More so if it happens, dope, and if it doesn’t happen, also dope

  25. EremeticPlatypus Avatar

    I actually have a low sex drive and always have, so it rarely interrupts my day.

  26. Skeet_fighter Avatar

    Is this question just an attempt to psyopp more straight men into fucking dudes with the promise of easy sex, thus increasing your personal pool of sexual partners?

    I’m onto you!

  27. TY2022 Avatar

    Females have the urge until they marry.

  28. JanitorOPplznerf Avatar

    I usually just fuck my wife when I get the urge.

  29. michajlo Avatar

    Like a normal person. They don’t control me. I control them.

  30. Efficient-Log8009 Avatar

    Open Tinder/Bumble and start inviting recent matches that are local until someone agrees to show up. It can be a bit dissapointing if you don’t find someone the day you wanted to but that’s just the game. With experience you learn how to increase your odds more and more.

  31. Ricky_Martins_Vagina Avatar

    Prostitutes, honestly speaking.

    Happily married now so no longer applicable but in the past that was always the answer for me.

    Travel around too much for work so was never interested in trying to initiate a relationship (that would eventually lead to sex). And the success rate of trying to hook up with someone ‘in the real world’ wasn’t worth the effort.

  32. Knautical_J Avatar

    Back when I was single, I could hop on an app, match with a girl, and have her in my bed by the nights end. I was very much a manwhore during my single phases, but a devout and loyal man during my relationship phases.

    I’m married now and our sex life could not be any better. I woke up an hour early today and got up to shower. My wife who doesn’t wake up as early as me got out of bed and walked into the shower while I was in there to bone. Even after the baby, we’re still going at it like nothing changed. Gunna start the bakery again soon though, and creampies will start flowing.

  33. porkborg Avatar

    Straight man here (52) with an insane libido. I do two things: lots of sex and lots of wanking. I’m lucky to have developed a good network of FWBs. Since becoming single two years ago, I’ve had 50 sexual partners, and a few of them have become regulars, off and on. But in reality, I’m only sexually active two or three days a week. When I’m home alone, I masturbate about four times a day. I’ve gone as frequently as six times recently. I’m just hard and horny all the time.

  34. Euphoric_Ad8910 Avatar

    I’ve wondered the same thing. Gay men can meet up in a park bathroom after meeting online 10 minutes before. Women as a rule, don’t care to do that. Not being disrespectful toward gay men but at the root they’re still “men “

  35. moutnmn87 Avatar

    I masturbate when I get the urge to. Sure I might have more sex if my partner had as much of a sex drive as me but I’m fine. We do things that are borderline sexual all the time like cuddling and making out. So it is pretty obvious that she loves me and is attracted to me etc. If that wasn’t the case I would probably feel very different about our relationship.

  36. JustBrowsing49 Avatar

    My left hand and a few tissues

  37. Legoinyourbumbum Avatar

    A huge collection of sex toys.

  38. PrecisionHat Avatar

    Maybe I’m revealing how little I know about the gay community, but why is it so easy for you to get sex or head whenever you want?

  39. HabitualGlazer Avatar

    Art, weight lifting, and beating my meat. Doesn’t help though 🤷🏽‍♂️

  40. WhyMustRedditHurtMe Avatar

    Let the crippling depression take over and give up. Helps with most desires/urges

  41. worstnameever2 Avatar

    I’m a straight guy. Ideally I’d have sex every day, maybe 6 times a week. My ex wife made me feel bad about how high my drive was. We did have sex regularly, like a few times a week. After the divorce I used dating apps and specifically mentioned wanting fwb only. Met a couple women who wanted sex more than I did and got disappointed that I told them I had a high sex drive but didn’t want to bang 3 or 4 times a day.

    But to answer your question more directly, I’d jerk off and sleep with a woman whenever possible. Because of tinder I was able to build up a roster and had some fun. Now I’m in a serious relationship w a woman who’s drive is similar to mine.

  42. BigMasterDingDong Avatar

    Honestly speaking some women are even worse than men… so I don’t think it’s a man to man thing only. But to answer your question: weights (distraction) and stress is a great killer of sex drive lol.

  43. Micaela_Bombon Avatar

    There are plenty of women with naturally high libidos. Like insatiably high. I am one of them. I am always chasing that next bigger better stronger more intense orgasm. Daily. Been this way since I was very young.

    And their are plenty of men with low libido.
    Especially these days where low testosterone is seemingly is becoming more common. (Not their fault, just needs treatment)

    I would suggest not implying that just simply being born male makes for a higher libido. Not necessarily true.

    I was very active in the LBGT community when I was younger. I’m bisexual. I was living with a woman at the time. However, I became close friends for many years with a group of gay men we met at our local gay community center. I’m very aware how things were back in the day. Heard many of their stories on the regular.

  44. iLoveAllTacos Avatar

    This is why I have a roster. When one woman isn’t available, another one usually is.