I’m 37M (live and work around London), and have been dating a lovely girl (32) from overseas for a year. She’s self-made, kind, loyal, emotionally mature, and wants to build a future. My family really likes her. She also values me and respectful/kind to my parents. Her qualities are what I’d look for — but I don’t feel much romantic or physical desire/spark for her.
We meet every 3 weeks or so but for 2-3 days at a time. We are comfortable with each other and can be ourselves. She takes care of me in thoughtful ways, and I genuinely care about her. But I’ve tried over time to feel more — that deep emotional or intimate spark — and it hasn’t come.
I’ve had a lot of dating setbacks over the years, so this is the first stable, serious relationship I’ve had in a long time. I’m torn between not wanting to lose something good and not wanting to stay out of fear or guilt and have to go back into the dating pool.
My experience of dating in London hasn’t been great. Lots of options but mostly short term or most girls don’t value you because they can have their pick. Sometimes I fancy a girl but she doesn’t like me or the other way round.
I’d really appreciate some advice. Is it settling when something is missing from the start, even if everything else is good?