Father of a recent high school grad. I think people make way too big a deal about graduating high school as if its some monumental accomplishment. It only take an unimpressive amount of intellect and effort to simply graduate. Is this just harmless celebrations? Maybe but I think making high school graduation a bigger deal than what it is helps train grads to think they just accomplished their life’s biggest milestone and can then naturally become complacent afterwards.
And then the graduation ceremonies themselves are horrible. People overcrowd a venue just to hear some school board big wigs have a circle jerk of long drawn out speeches to make themselves feel important. And then you just get to hear your child’s name called out for 3 seconds.
EDIT: no I wasnt sitting there hands folded looking miserable at my kid’s graduation. I cheered as loud as I could for her and told her how proud I was for her.
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This is so rude to your child.
It is an accomplishment. Hopefully the start of many
it’s moreso a celebration of adulthood/independence. after highschool you are done with compulsory education, move out, go to college, start full time work, and/or are no longer under the guidance of your parents or legally binded to them. at least that’s how I see it.
Taking moments to celebrate milestones in your child’s life is great for their self esteem. I think all society knows compared to a law degree or PhD that a highschool diploma is nothing. Let your kid live in their innocent world. To them it’s a big deal.
The end of High School is legit when your societal training wheels get taken off and your thrown to the wolves (If u don’t pursue college)
Depends on the kid. Some kids really have to struggle to bear down and graduate – it is not a small percentage. And, even if not, it does mark the end of a major phase of life: for better or worse classmates are going in different directions and many are leaving home.
The ceremony itself…eh, but the moment is big enough I can put up with the list of names. Also I think the recognition of the moment is worth far more than any risks of complacency. Anyone liable to become complacent would probably be doing even worse without the graduation to shoot for in the first place.
Unpopular, sure.
At that point, it is most kids’ biggest milestone so far in life. So I think it deserves to be celebrated as such. Agree that it isn’t that difficult (for most) to simply graduate but nationally 5% or so still drop out. In California it’s like 15% who drop out.
I graduated high school in 1999 and was the first in my family to do so. It was a big fucking deal for my family.
You dismissing a success your child has been working hard for 12 years for is genuinely horrific.
Make sure you remind them how you being there was a “favour and an inconvenience for you”…
Buck up.
It’s probably the last time you’ll be invited to anything.
> Is this just harmless celebrations? Maybe
No, not maybe, it is just harmless celebration. why be so down about it, do you like not like your kid or something? “accomplishment” or not, its a pretty defining moment for alot of kids, cause it pretty usually matches up with turning 18, and a pretty clear rite of passage towards adulthood.
Dam, you sound pleasant. lol.
Now if you said this about 8th grade or 5th grade “graduation”, You’d be correct.
Let your child enjoy it.
They’re 17/18. It probably is life’s greatest accomplishment up to that point. And for a lot of kids it is a big deal. Why does it bother you so much that people can enjoy themselves? Are you opposed to birthdays too?
Is it some crazy special accomplishment, no. Is it still something you only do once that you spend years of your life working towards, yes. Celebrate these types of things when you can, just enjoy life and try to be happy.
Yeah you and my father would get along.. he spent my whole childhood telling me i’d never make anything out of myself. I had to fight to go to school, I couldn’t do anything fun in it even take a language course because he’d never sign anything… and then when I did graduate he wouldn’t let me walk across stage.
I was so depressed that despite being literally a savant I just gave up trying for 2 years before I went no contact with him found supportive people that care about my life and have shown me it does mean something to accomplish it… now I have 3 PhDs.
So let’s do a TLDR: because you seem the lazy kind.
I am a literal savant but my father disregarding shit like this made me give up on myself. But the moment I had people around me who celebrated the smaller shit I got 3 PhD’s and no longer speak to my father except for phone calls on holiday.
I think maybe it matters a little more than you think.
I don’t think it’s a huge accomplishment for most, it’s more of a rite of passage.
Father of the Year candidate right here.
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A LOT of people don’t graduate from high school dude. I had this exact same perspective for years till I got to the end of my college career and realized just cuz it’s easy for ME, doesn’t mean it’s easy for everyone.
You should get some more exposure to people who haven’t finished high school, maybe no one in their family ever has.
It’s a huge moment of change into adulthood, saying goodbye to your friends and people you’e known and seen everyday for 5+ years. It’s a time to carve out who you are abd what you’re going to be doing in life!
I wouldn’t say it’s overblown!
I think this is an American tradition, in the UK it’s not really a thing, you just finish school and crack on.
Don’t let your kid know you feel this way. It’ll break them. It’s a one time event. Why are you so pissed that you had to go to your own child’s three hour at most ceremony? Be happy for your kid, damn.
Bruh it’s not just about graduating, it’s about celebrating the transition from childhood to adulthood.
Pretty much a guaranteed way to have success in life is
So doing the only one of those things you have to do when you’re a stupid child is something to celebrate.
Hope you never tell your child that going to their graduation was a horrible experience for you. How dare they have a relative accomplishment for what is for them, the biggest accomplishment of their life. Stay home if you hate going. I can guarntee you you’re child already feels your lack of pride for them.
I’m sure your kids are happy you’re their dad.
OP in 20 years: My kids barely visit me, I never get to see my grandkids. I just want to be a good grandparent. I wasn’t even invited to my first grandchild’s high school graduation. Why won’t they let me be a good grandparent?
I don’t think people celebrate the literal graduation. It’s a celebration of the graduation from that stage of your life. You’ll likely be basically leaving everyone you’ve ever known soon, so it’s nice to celebrate a moment with them.
If this is really hard for you to understand then I fell sorry for your child. Genuinely. Must be hard to have a parent that cares so fucking little.
What does your kid think of graduation?
If they’re into the ceremony and the life milestone then be a good sport: it’s their day. Their happiness ought to outweigh all other factors.
If they’re of the same opinion as you, then roll your eyes together and then get on with life.
You in ten years: “Why don’t my children call or visit anymore?”
I mean is just barely graduating high school not very impressive? Maybe but loads of kids graduate with honors or with AP credits, they worked while getting their degree, they had accomplishments in sports or music or debate or theater etc, struggled in a certain subject, or they got into a particular college, or military, or trade school because of what they did in high school … some of these things are major milestones!
I find it very interesting you didn’t mention anything detailed about your son’s accomplishments, and I would take a wild guess there is something to celebrate. Even ‘average’ kids work/study hard
This ain’t going the way bro thought it would lol
Just let your kid enjoy it is all I ask. It’s ~12 years of accomplishment and education finally ending, the next step. For many it is one life’s biggest accomplishments. Humble yourself.
And as someone who graduated in 2020. It’s a big fucking deal. Everything about your senior year is a big deal. My school had prom (obviously), after prom, senior picnic, skip day, graduation, all gone seemingly overnight.
This only happens in America.
While I agree, I would say a large majority of the population that is the highest level of education they will ever receive so let em have it.
So I actually kind of agree. I walked at my high school graduation. But I didn’t walk at my Undergrad graduation and I didn’t walk when I graduated with my doctorate of physical therapy. But I also recognize that I had a less than great(see: terrible) family structure growing up where my dad never came to my sporting or school events as a kid. So I think I just developed the apathetic nature towards achievements like that as a coping mechanism.
I’d never do that to my future kids and while I still think graduations are ehh, I’d never let that impression slip to my kid and if they were excited about it I’d be right there cheering them on.
I did not go to my high school graduation, I was real happy to get out of there
Yeah, it’s funny. My high school graduation was a big party. My college graduation was a little party. I went to dinner with my parents after getting my PhD. My PhD was by far the most difficult accomplishment.
The bar to graduate high school is so very low that the idea of being proud of it in most circumstances is pretty silly. A modest celebration to commemorate a life milestone is fine but going all out is so unnecessary.
When i was at my own HS graduation, a local reported asked if felt excited. I said, “not really. This is not a big deal. I really wish i hadn’t come.” My quotes were not featured in the article. For me, i stand by that. HS and college grad ceremonies were so minimally impactful to me i skipped my masters one. But plenty of people get great satisfaction from them. So more power to them.
Since the majority of Americans don’t graduate college… it’s one of the last big celebrations of achievement in most Americans’ lives.
Some could say marriage is next, but 50% of marriages end in divorce, so that would counterbalance the “celebration” in that type of event. And regarding children, there are quite a few stresses and burdens that come with raising children that would counterbalance that.
Wait till you hear about preschool graduations
You seem fun! Can I come hang out at your trash receptacle, Oscar?
All kidding aside, come on man. It is the largest accomplishment many of them have achieved to date. It’s also the end of their state mandated education. From this point forward, they are choosing their own path. Many of them are going to different colleges, trade schools, or the work force from here. They may not see each other again.
Then there’s the net positive impact in future performance when milestones are celebrated. If you only celebrate the final thing, when do you celebrate? Graduating college is only important to getting a job? Getting a raise or promotion only gets you to the next rung of the ladder… A CEO? Good job, theres bigger companies you could be CEO of, keep working. Retiring? Someone else retired earlier than you or has more money, better not celebrate….
…. Basically, there’s always a next accomplishment. That is what life is man. If you don’t celebrate along the way, it’s going to be a long, sad, ride.
Let them celebrate!
You’re right.
It’s an unpopular opinion.
Wait until OP finds out how little effort it takes to get a birthday party. The earth is doing all the work!
Yeah I didn’t want to go to mine, I didn’t think it was anything special. My parents promised me I wouldn’t have to go to my college graduation. Then they said the same for law school. Each time I had to go and have dinner
I chalked it up as more for the parents than for the kids, unless it was very tough for the kid to finish.
Edit: To me, it felt like a participation trophy rather than an event. First day of the next education level felt like a way bigger deal and more memorable. First day of school, first day of middle school, first day of high school, etc.
There have been so many people salty over graduations in the last week. Preschool, Kindergarten, and now high school. God forbid people celebrate something they took a year or more to complete. 🙄
Upvote for unpopular
It’s a big celebration because not everyone graduates. Not every student makes it. Some drop out, some get held back, and some even die before 18
For the ones who do graduate, only some of them go on to higher education. Some don’t get the luxury of going to college or even choosing their own career
I think this is only really unpopular in America. A lot of other countries don’t even have high school graduations. I’m from the UK, we get a fun day at school for the last day and then our results get posted out in a letter. There’s no ceremony, any celebration is down to the individual.
Hey at least he posted an actually unpopular opinion
I hate to rain on your parade. But this can be said about literally any milestone in life lol
OP has never worked in a place where the majority of the service staff has only ever accomplished graduating HS.
Don’t rob them of the highest they’ll ever accomplish.
Yup. That’s an unpopular opinion.
Sounds like you’re just a fantastic parent.
Kid’s proud of a legitimate achievement and a big step into the next phase of life.
You: yeah not a big deal. Didn’t have to be smart to do it. I think it’s pretty worthless.
When I graduated HS I was told by my older brother it was not a big deal. When I enlisted in the USMC I was told it was not a big deal, when I bought my first home , got married , had my first child, and graduated college .. all he ever told me is it is not a big deal.
Celebrate your loved one’s accomplishments no matter how big or small. Life is hard enough. I’ll add that now being a veteran, college graduate, home owner, substitute teacher, husband and father… it is a big deal and I’ll never trivialize someone’s accomplishments or struggle.
Don’t be that guy
For me, it was nothing. I was kinda pissed I had to go since some mildly interesting soccer game was on TV (I don’t watch soccer normally, it was just something on TV) and it was really hot outside. But I’m also from a family of college grads (one of my grandmother’s even had a master’s), was college bound and only had 1 or 2 challenging classes in HS.
But for some other people I know they were first generation HS grads, it was a huge deal. Some struggled to get through HS and busted their ass to do so. Others were looking forward to the celebration in the big city that night, put on by the parents. Others were involved heavily in sports, arts or clubs and it meant a lot to them. So like many things, I think it’s a matter of perspective. I didn’t care personally (nor did I care about college graduation, I wanted to skip it to see Avenged Sevenfold open for Metallica, since I would be joining the military as an officer in a few days) but others it means a lot. It was something that I expected to do and was expected to do. Others it was a huge accomplishment and if they want to celebrate, they should!
It seems like a cultural thing because judging by the comments it’s a massive deal in the US.
An unimpressive amount of work and intellect? Really dude? You realize school doesn’t come naturally to everyone, right? And yeah, it likely is their biggest accomplishment at that point in their life, so why wouldn’t they celebrate it? I feel sad that you have a kid. Poor kid. No worries though, I’m sure they won’t ask you to the next party they have with your stank attitude.
For me it was like celebrating becoming an adult. Like I did a decade of work to prove I’ll be a capable independent adult and graduation celebrates that. If it were JUST for high school, then yeah it would be too big of a deal.
You think HS graduation is bad…go watch kindergarten or middle school graduations…for that matter look at how much money gets wasted on prom. I’m all about celebrating your success but there’s life after HS
Here’s why you go ahead and celebrate it.
My brother went to a tech school during his senior year. That graduation was two weeks or so before his actual high school graduation. I didn’t go because I was working, and taking night classes. I could have gone, sure, but I figured “it was just for tech school no big deal. About 10 days later I was a pallbearer for his casket. Wasn’t drugs or alcohol. Dude went off road on a back road and smacked into a tree. Most likely speeding and/or avoiding a deer or something. So the day of his actual graduation we buried him.
Life is short, and nothings guaranteed. Why the fuck wouldn’t you want to celebrate when there’s something to celebrate?
Kudos to you for having an actual unpopular opinion. But damn dude, lighten the fuck up. Nothing lasts forever, enjoy it while you can.
I too am an old grumpy pants.
Agreed! I remember being annoyed that my parents made me go to commencement.
Big words for someone who can’t even manage to keep a Santa Rosa plum tree alive. Loser
Man, I really hope you at least told your kid they did something worthwhile, it’s be tough to have a parent with this stance after making it through.
Obviously looking back at high school graduation as an adult it seems overblown, but it is most likely the biggest accomplishment of that young persons life until that point, be happy for you kid.
I was the 4th kid in my family and so the 4th high school graduation they attended. My family got there late, did not take a single picture of me or with me, left before the ceremony was over, and told me it’s nothing to celebrate because it’s an “expectation”. They did something similar at my college grad, one pic of me, a quick lunch and back to my other siblings. I love them to the ends of the earth, but it sucks. It hurts. Even “small” accomplishments are a big deal to teens and kids. High school is hard, not just classes, but the people, the culture, being hormonal and depressed and etc, sometimes it’s okay to just celebrate your kiddo and make them feel special even if you don’t personally think they are.
“It only take an unimpressive amount of intellect and effort to simply graduate”
OP can’t even form a sentence. Graduations can be a big deal if people want them to be. They don’t care if you approve.
I would guess that all the fanfare around high school graduation is a holdover from the time in society when it was a much bigger deal. There was a time when there were plenty of jobs people could get straight out of high school and earn a good living. Attending college didn’t feel compulsory back then. But now that a college degree is the barrier to entry in the modern economy, high school graduation becomes more like a middle school graduation where you’re just moving on the next level of schooling afterward.
Would hate to be your child. No matter the amount of effort, something that took a child most of their life to complete deserves a huge celebration.
A small example would be a toddler walking for the first time. Billions of people walk and run then your child takes their first step. THAT IS A HUGE MEMORABLE MOMENT
What? You sound like someone who didn’t graduate from high school.
As far as I know it’s a very simple ceremony and the graduates wear robes. Seems appropriate for 12 years of school work and transferring from childhood to adulthood.
sheesh, thank god your kid graduated and can move out now. you debbie downer.
It’s more of a “going away party” for the child than anything. It’s often the marker for when kids leave the home for the first time (either to college or otherwise). “Bye bye childhood, bring on adulthood”
To post this as a father of a recent high school grad is fucking wild. Imagine your kid finding this.
The graduation is for them not you. For some kids it’s as a good as it’s going to get and this may have been extremely hard for them to get through.
But I feel like that won’t resonate with you. Still absolutely wild of you to post this. I would be fucking devastated if I found out this is what my dad got out of me graduating.
And to your edit, it doesn’t matter what you told her. You still came here and complained. Genuinely, I cannot believe you decided to go to Reddit to write this.
Just let the kids have fun bro
For some it’ll be the last thing they accomplish worth celebrating
It’s a celebration of the culmination of 12-13 years of a child’s LIFE WORK and accomplishments. Did you not graduate or do you just not remember how incredibly important of an event graduation was?
Your child just spent every year from the time they were old enough to be taught, learning progressively more intricate and complex things and proved they did it well enough to be considered learned and successful (btw, the average high school education today compared to the average education in nearly anytime throughout human history is staggeringly advanced)
Add that to the other comments noting the coming of age significance, etc, I just can’t really get behind your point of view at all!
Honestly, as a recent highschool graduate, I enjoyed the whole “fuss” over it because it was more celebrating US than me specifically. The whole class, the people we’d spent the last 12 years with. It’s saying goodbye to the people you grew with and being let into the actual world.
I don’t see it so much as about the individual accomplishment
For a lot of students, it is a huge deal. Students who struggled with adversity (being disowned/kicked out, almost becoming homeless, students dealing with abuse, loss of family/friends, critical or chronic illness or extended hospital stays, etc.) and STILL managed to graduate, it’s a massive deal.
Now, as a high school teacher, I agree that the speeches get tiresome. Especially when we have to listen to the same speech EVERY YEAR from the same political blowhard. And it’s not like the kids give a rats sphincter about these people they didn’t really know existed until this moment.
Nah. High school celebration is legit. Now, elementary and middle school promotions are completely goofy bullshit.
High School graduation is an excellent memory for me. It marked the end of childhood, and the beginning of adulthood. It meant that I would be going to college, and transitioning to a new world.
Unlike college graduation, which represented the end of a short 4 year period that was very enjoyable. It was the end of the fun times, and the beginning of working full time.
For that reason, I think much more fondly on the end of HS.
This is a weird one. Do you think celebrating their graduation too much will make them try less in the rest of life?
I agree with this. To make matters even worse – they now have kindergarten graduations, elementary school graduations and even middle school. In my town you can buy congratulatory yard signs for each of these milestones.
You need rituals in life. Thats part of our DNA.
It’s a part of growing up. It IS an accomplishment, and for some, it’s the only time they’ll walk across a stage for a piece of paper.
High school graduation deserves to be celebrated. I have so many kids in my family. I just had to sit through a 2.5 hour ceremony on bleachers that gave my ass bruises last week. But the look on my nephews face when his whole family showed up for him and cheered for him, fucking priceless dude.
And I’ll be there for the next four at their graduations as well.
We don’t really have a rite of passage, where kids become officially recognized as adults. This is as close to one that we have as a society. So part of the big deal is the recognition of that transition time. The school part is almost secondary (so to speak!).
I completely agree. It doesn’t mean anything, really. You finished the most critical part of not being a bum for the majority of people. Congratulations. Let’s move on.
20 years later: “Why won’t my kids ever visit me?”
Probably because you’re an asshole.
lol show your kid this. Idiotic opinion
Happy you’re not my father lmao.
Your not a good person.
Your edit is funny.
Despite your unpopular opinion you were still the active participant and made a big deal out of a relatively meaningless event.
So that suggests that you don’t even agree with your own opinion and that there is someone close to you who thinks this event was a really big deal.
Good work for not letting cynicism override good parenting. In general I agree with your thoughts on the irrelevance of high school but my kids think it’s a big deal so my opinion doesn’t really matter
If only you cared for your kid like you do your garden
Kids biggest accomplishment
Years of work finally being done
Becoming an adult
The last time they’ll see many of their friends
Plenty of kids don’t graduate
It’s fun to celebrate your kids achievements at least be happy for them
This indeed is an unpopular opinion. Wouldn’t want to be your child.
Damn this is such a bitter take on a big milestone in someone’s life… Even if you see it as an “easy” one, kids still put a lot of energy, and literally years, to get there.
You should be celebrating your kids through all milestones – otherwise they’ll end up bitter at life like you sound
6, that is how many people in my graduating class didn’t get to their college graduation because they died. 8, that is how many of my classmates died before their high school graduation, 4 died together the same day. 2, that is how many classmates had parents pass away their senior year who didn’t get to have them there for their graduation. 1, my classmate who fought cancer for 3 years hoping to get to graduation. He did and his parents buried him shortly after. Who cares if it is over rated or an expected. Celebrate, life is really short, be happy you get to participate in this milestone, you may not get another one.
Life is short. Speaking bleaky…Having a harmless celebration (for whatever reasons, kid turning to adulthood, finishing a milestone in life, and etc.) where it will be a part of the kids memory, is really not a big deal. As parent also, I would love to spend time with my kid especially where they find joy, as likewise these are my memories to carry on… Other than these and other interconnected experiences, what is the point of life then?
If you go to another one, cheer for every kid.
There are lot of kids with next to no healthy household support and no one helping make those next huge steps towards college or secondary education.
I was one of those kids, aged out of foster care. Leaving high school is huge because you are officially on your own if you don’t have good enough parents/guardians.
If you guys are in a well off community then I absolutely agree with you most of those kids are absolutely fine and it’s just for social media picks and photo album pics