I firmly believe people should only marry once in their life. I dont think there should be any laws or anything against it but I feel it is a direct conflict with the idea of marriage and what it means to be married to have more than one.
I get it people don’t always get along and divorce helps reduce domestic abuse rates and spousal murders and that’s a good thing. And In no way should divorce be illegal but it may help reduce divorce rates by making you more cautious and hesitant when deciding to marry.
I understand spouses pass and it is hard to move on and when you finally do I understand you’re not replacing your late spouse but its also hard not to interpret it that way. It no doubt takes away some of the specialty of the marriage to your late partner as they are no longer the one and only partner you have chosen to spend your life with.
At the end of the day I do think love and happiness matters most and I’ll never condemn anyone for choosing to get married again but its hard to look past my own personal feelings on the matter and im willing to admit that.
Comments
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I mean…. yes? but sometimes life happens and you need a second chance 🙂
Why would you imagine your opinion should dictate other peoples lives?
I mean how does it take away the specialness if you spent their whole life together?
I think romanticizing the idea of “the one and only one forever” is ridiculous and accomplishes nothing. The universe doesn’t care about you. Nothing is guaranteeing a destined “one” for you.
I think you should commit to one person but if the relationship ends then its better to move on completely so you can commit to someone else.
I think marriage itself is ceremonious at best but overall meaningless.
Ok Correct but I don’t think anyone marries with the expectation of having to do it again
Acknowledging domestic violence, murder, and regular ol’ death, and still believing people should never remarry is quite an insane take.
I’m confused. What’s the “it” in this sentence?
“And In no way should divorce be illegal but it may help reduce divorce rates by making you more cautious and hesitant when deciding to marry.”
🙄
The sheer God complex and control issues on some people…
Wasn’t the idea of marriage about owning women?
Excellent. Then only get married once in your life.
What difference does it make if you marry and subsequent partner or just live the remainder of your life together. You still have more than one life partner in that scenario. Or are you suggesting that once you have divorced or been widowed you should remain single for the rest of your existence? Sounds like a punishment that would lead to loneliness, depression and worse.
[removed]
A true unpopular opinion! Well done, you should bring this up tomorrow for your weekly cult meeting! Jesus would be proud
Marriage only means what it means to you.
I married my one true love for 18 years. We divorced long complicated story. I’ve had 0 interest in anyone else. Nothing to do with morality or god. That was my one person.
The tax benefits are good, and what if you’re widowed. Should I not benefit from a shared life including the tax advantages just because my spouse passed?
I see these kinds of statements and just have to ask: OP, do you also have issues with people dating and living together for years before they marry?
I would probably have agreed with you if it were just about divorced people getting married a second time. It has always seemed very weird to me that people think the vows mean anything if they broke them once?
But that view on second marriage in the event of death just seems incredibly cruel to me. The vows are “till death do us part.” When death parts you, you’ve fulfilled your vows. The new partnership or new vows do not replace your original spouse, they are some consolation for the deep pain of losing your original spouse. I would not wish the cruelty of lonely elder years on anyone.
Marriage is not always some spiritual things. For many it’s money and security and that’s it.
People die, protect yourself with marriage.
You can certainly get married only once. Sometimes I think it makes sense to remarry. My Dad is most likely still alive because he remarried after my mom passed. Unmarried men die earlier and he was incredibly lonely. It didn’t take anything away from what he had with my mother. But marriage vows are also only until death.
I mean yeah that’s the idea. I don’t think people are of the opinion that they are actively intending on marrying multiple times?
Why are high divorce rates a bad thing? In fact, I see it as amazing that divorce rates are going up; people are realizing that they have personal agency of their own life and know when to break it off if it’s not working out. This is essentially true for abusive relationships or marriages where you two just become fundamentally incompatible.
Um I’m literally not wasting my life if we divorce dfl im getting hitched again 🤣🤣🤣
These are the opinions of someone who is deeply insecure.
What would you do if someone’s marriage relationship with their partner starts to deteriorate? 🚩🚩🚩
This is religious spooky dead guy is the lord nonsense
Wen you get married, you’ll never want to do it again 😂
But.. why? Marriage isn’t about romance. It’s a legal contract between two people and their government.
Have my down vote, I hope this is a very popular opinion. Source: on marriage #2.
Marriage is a business arrangement that people in relationships enter into to protect their assets and maintain their rights to their offspring.
People generally do not get married expecting to get divorced
Up vote because this is a well spoken unpopular opinion.
I do fully disagree. People make mistakes, people die, people change. Its whatever. If someone is getting married and divorced every day its still none of my business.
My mother first married my brother’s dad. He was severely depressed due to being a closeted gay man in the LDS church. This sounds, at first sight, like a classic case of bad religion. He had 2 children with her. The first thing he did was neglect his children. He couldn’t keep a job so my mother worked all day to feed her family. He locked his children in their living room with the TV on while he slept all day and only fed them breakfast and dinner. Then, he cheated on her multiple times with his male “friends”. After the two divorced he only sent birthday gifts to his son, completely neglecting his daughter emotionally. My mother still let him visit despite having no legal obligations because she cared about her kids. He had so much love in his heart until he decided to throw away his family like a used toy. Even his mother kept in contact with my mother because she had no idea what her son was like. Some manipulative people have you wrapped around their finger and you can’t know until it’s too late.
Idk where you’re from, but I’d say American society broke down a long time ago, in a certain sense. I remember when opponents of Gay Marriage were saying it undermined the sanctity of marriage, and I understood their point though I disagreed, but I think the sanctity they cared about was lost long ago, due to the ease and prevalence of divorce. And I don’t disagree with divorce being possible or being no fault or being able to be initiated by the wife, but it was all a sign of breakdown. That being said, it may appear like a breakdown, but perhaps life in these institutions were so bad for so many people that it’s not a breakdown, but a liberation.
Yea definitely an unpopular opinion, I plan on switching in between wives in the future
I only agree with no laws should be involved with marriage. I’ve been with my wife a total of nearly 12 years, dated for well over half that time. Marriage only became an option for insurance and kids, but that doesn’t mean I love her any less, it was a mutual decision. But we also believe you can be In love with multiple people at the same time, which is why we are also poly.
Yep, you’re in the right spot.
Ok, you can get married once then. Everyone else can do what they please. Good unpopular opinion though I’ll give you credit for thst
I partially agree. Marriage is taken too lightly nowadays. It’s literally in the vows they make, yet they throw those vows away so easily. Vows and promises used to mean something
I mean, no argument, but I probably wouldn’t have been born otherwise.
I’ve successfully made it to 47 without getting married (I don’t believe in it as a concept)… so the opinion that everyone should get married once, sounds like a threat to me.
I dont think ppl should get married at all. This doesn’t mean you can’t select a life partner or anything like that, but 1 I dont think the government should have any involvement in your love life, and 2 a wedding is very expensive, take that money and have a small party only involving the people that are closest to you both, no need to invite relatives you’ve barely met, and take the rest of the money use it to put towards a house, or whatever else you might want to start your new lives rather than big expensive fancy ass wedding. Plus there is reason that a majority of marriages end in divorce. Life happens things change, ppl change, and when things aren’t good anymore it should be OK and not a big legal process to go your own seperate ways.
My grandmother rushed to get married for the first time at 19 to escape a bad home environment. She came to her senses at 21, divorced him, met my grandfather a few years later, and they were married for 35 years. Imagine if she missed out on marrying the love of her life because of a decision she made when she was young and desperate.
Sometimes people don’t really show their true colors until after they’re married.. It can be easy to think you want to be married to someone, until after you’re married and they start treating you badly.
And if you think people should only get married once, does that mean if someone’s marriage only lasts a short time before they get divorced, they should never get married again?
You don’t meet every person you will ever meet in the first 30 years of your life.
I’m glad people can re-marry. Otherwise, I never would have gotten to marry my husband. Not my fault (or his) that he married his insane ex-wife before we met.
People and circumstances change, or sometimes they stay the same when one or the other expects change. Marriages are more or less hopeful thinking that you can stay together the rest of your life, but they’re not guarantees.
Marriage is just a legal status, so it doesn’t really matter lol.
I can see why you posted this on “unpopular opinion”
I dont think anyone marries with the intention of divorcing in a few years. Life just happens sometimes. It’s better for everyone if people don’t remain unhappily married. More importantly, as a society, we just need to stop buying into the notion that marriage is the epitome of a healthy relationship. I have met a few people who broke up with the loves of their life because marriage wasn’t proposed in a timely manner. Now, that’s truly moronic. Adults should have the right to marry any other consenting adult, and adults who choose to remain single, unmarried, or simply remain in a civil union shouldn’t be made to feel a certain way for not meeting societal expectations.
Marriage may have a beautiful meaning but it’s also a contract. It protects you, so if you decide to be in a stable relationship with someone after being divorced, having that contract might save you a lot of headache.
Yes, having less personal agency is an unpopular opinion indeed…
Too many people frame their personal decisions as something that should be forced onto everyone.
Also if your spouse beat you every week, and you got divorced, do you really think you’d never want to remarry just so your shitty ex spouse remains special? Marriage being a one time thing wouldn’t suddenly make half the population better at choosing a spouse.
I don’t understand your view that it takes away from the former relationship and how special it was to marry again.
I’ve never been married but I was in a nearly 6 year relationship where we loved each other deeply, he was willing to marry me to get me on his insurance, we trusted each other fully etc. We split amicably and still care for each other.
Why would the next relationship I get into take away from what I had with this person? Why compare them? This concept on one person mating for life like certain species of animals, a certain special untouchable endless love that trumps the rest, is so odd to me.
In my view, life comes in phases and relationships come and go too. I want to make the most of it all even if it doesn’t last. I try to find connections and intimacy without getting hung up on the social norms so much.
Know way too many people who married young and divorced only to have their second marriage be life long. Definitely qualifies as an unpopular opinion.
Policing other people’s interpersonal relationships is not really my thing. It’s weird.
I feel like that is ideal, but it’s obviously not always realistic. If I get married, I hope to stay married to that person until I die. Things happen, though. I will say that sometimes it seems like people get divorced a lot more (and sometimes for stupid reasons). But if one partner is doing something really bad to you, then you should leave and go somewhere you’re safe.
>I feel it is a direct conflict with the idea of marriage and what it means to be married
Can you define these ideas of what you think marriage is an is meant to be?
You seem to be assigning some very specific definition of marriage and viewing it as something incredibly special. Yet we have no idea what that definition actually is based on your OP.
My Grandpa was married four times, only one divorce, I’m not digging your idea, it’s limiting and kinda naive imo. That’s only my opinion
Same tired opinion a lot of Christians spout off. Hardly unpopular.
to be clear, the idea of marriage is tax breaks.
also this pressure would only keep people in bad relationships.
why so sanctimonious? why do you care? it does nothing to affect you
Thats dumb.
Utter fucking nonsense. How would you possibly know this is for ever?? How about you marry she dies at childbirth you are 35 with 8 yo there is kind lady that you can’t marry anymore because of some arbitrary bullshit. So you are barred from having “full” relationship and so your children because society tells you and your children you are less now.
That seems a bit extreme to me, I’d be willing to make a debate on why there should be an age limit to when you can get married, though.
“I get it, It helps with Domestic abuse and murder 🙄 but maybe make a better decision”
My biological father fought in the Vietnam War. He was exposed to Agent Orange. I was born with spina bifida in 1975, which is sometimes attributed to Agent Orange. He had a stroke in 1982 related to AO. He died in 1990. My mother was therefore caregiver to both him and me until his death when I was 14 in 1990.
It’s traumatic being a single parent to somebody with a profound disability. Adding to that needing to care for another family member since extended family decided to be of no help. If my mother hadn’t remarried (albeit with the proper vetting that good couples do), she’d have snapped, and perhaps me as well.
I choose not to marry for many reasons that make another thread, but I can’t fault someone for remarrying, as long as it’s for the right reasons, whatever they may be.
Not unpopular. That’s what most people ideally want. But sometimes people make mistakes in choosing their partner.
I feel like this the opinion of a person who is very young and/or overly idealistic. I see how one could come to think this way but it’s an opinion that seems very detached from reality.
So great job, definitely an unpopular opinion
So because my husband’s first wife cheated on him and left, I should never have been able to marry him?
Yeah this is unpopular because it’s pretty damn stupid. Imagine saying you marry someone you think is the love of your life, just for him to become abusive. And if you divorce him, you can’t ever look for love again. You have to be alone for the rest of your life. Because.. well I don’t even know. I guess to say you only married once..?
Widow here, you have no idea on this earth what you’re talking about, none. Until you have lived through this absolute horror story, you won’t get it.
Personally I won’t be remarrying or dating anyone but I hope those that want to find love again. We never “move on” we try to move forward, carrying that love and all those memories while we attempt to find meaning again.
I dont think most people marry a person and expect to marry someone else.
Most people get married with the thought it will be forever. The majority of divorce has nothing to do with not being cautious or hesitant enough before deciding to marry.
I lost my wife to pancreatic cancer at 27. She told me she wanted me to fall in love again because she believed people weren’t meant to be alone. I’m still struggling with finding someone, but maybe I’ll find someone I click with that I can share my life again with soon. I hope you too find someone to share your life with, if you don’t have a person. I also hope you don’t lose them in any way.
“reduce domestic abuse rates and spousal murders”
Ah yes, the most prevalent reasons that people divorce.
Ideally — but 50% of marriages end in divorce. Why not let them try again?
Living together for 7 years means you are married
Man, imagine giving so much of a fuck about what other people do that doesn’t have anything to do with you.
Ok so someone leaves you after 10 years…it’s just it for you? I’m sorry but this is just stupid
Should* in the title is carrying a lot of weight
Not to get too nerdy, but this is an explore versus exploit tradeoff. Should you spend half your life cycling through people trying to vet the perfect marriage partner or should you take a risk and enjoy some of the partnered experiences like having kids and sharing memories earlier in life? Everyone has a different answer, but I personally think if easy divorce makes us a bit less risk averse, that’s better.
Well I hope this opinion is unpopular. You list why it’s terrible in your own post.
Dumbest opinion ever. Go worship heyzeus
Marriage is a contract. And when that contract no longer works or has been compromised or broken in anyway, then you look to dissolute said contract and nullify it.
Saying people should only be married once is like saying people should only have one job with one company for their whole lives because quitting and working for someone new goes against the intention of what a contract is.
Sounds silly when you think about it, no?
Based
I’m sorry, but marriage is a horror. I would never wish on anyone. I’ve seen my single friends cry and tell me their problems and it’s never as bad as a married person. There’s a reason why 55% of marriages end in divorce. (Or whatever the current rate is)
As someone who is separated and going through a divorce and has had to live with my ex for 6 months I wholeheartedly believe it should be easier to divorce! The only thing turning me off getting married a second time is the bullshit divorce laws and how much I’m getting screwed over. Marriage is a get rich quick scheme for the lazy partner
My brother was 35 when his wife passed away she was also 35. This was almost 3 years ago, their boys are now 12 and 10. I sincerely hope he does eventually move on and remarry and I know his in-laws feel this way as well. My brother moving on does not diminish the love for his late wife. He isn’t ready to move on yet and may never be but I would hate for him to have this view that you have! I want him to be happy again and be loved by a loving woman who will bring him lots of joy.
There’s no way you’re over 14 years old
Well what if you marry the wrong person?
I agree with this. Signed someone who got married more than once lol.
I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion. I’d bet most people who get married only intended on it being once. It’s a normal opinion to think 1 time marriage is ideal. It just isn’t a realistic expectation to set.
I agree. Why would anyone go through all the pain and money loss of a divorce to saddle up again? I see so many friends go through it and they swear, never again.
I don’t know. I sometimes feel like we humans are serial monogamists and wish that marriage was something that could either be renewed or terminated every 5 years or so.
that’s what’s great about this country, you can marry once and only once; and i can marry 10 times. we’re allowed to have different beliefs as long as we don’t shove them down each others throats lol.
Unpopular opinion: Mind your own business and stop wanting to control the behavior of other people
Question: Does the act of having a second child mean you don’t love your first child?
There’s unpopular and there’s wrong
Yes
Marriage is a business arrangement between people. That’s it. None of the ceremony or the love aspect matters. The only thing that changes anything is filing with the state and that is all business. Forcing a person to be financially tied with another is not ok. People make bad business decisions and there is a financial consequence to divorce. That is enough of a deterrent.
You win the internet, OP.
A truly unpopular opinion expressed.
Nicely done.
To this point, people would need to be confident in the person they’re choosing for such a serious commitment—and that’s where you lose a lot of people.
You presuppose that the point of marriage is that it shouldn’t end, as opposed to the point being that everyone involved should be happy.
You are of course incorrect.
Yes, unpopular to me only ONE time, my popular opinion, nobody should get married.
Anything that starts with a ‘firm belief’ is usually the product of a dummy.
You stated your argument and then spent the rest of your post explaining why people disagree with your argument. You didn’t make a single point supporting your argument.
Marriage is two people telling the government that the other person is the person they choose as a family member. Not only that, but the most important family member to you. You can only choose one person at a time for this role. This means that this family member will be the default to inheritance, certain custody situations, making medical decisions for you if you’re not capable of making decisions in the hospital, sharing a bank account, more protections when it comes to property ownership, etc. Other than that, sure, marriage is whatever you want it to mean for you, but at the end of the day, it’s a legal contract. If a marriage ends, and you eventually find someone else, then what? You’re never going to let that other person adopt your child if the other biological parent doesn’t have parental rights (or they’re deceased)? You will never be able to put your SO on your insurance (depending on where you live)? You’ll let another family member make medical decisions for you, instead of this person who (theoretically) knows you better than anyone else?
Nonsense.
So you think if someone’s forced by familial pressure to marry very young and gets a divorce in later life after years of abuse because their husband was a 60 year old man who married a 18 year old should never be allowed to marry again?
This is just common sense
Yea everyone should make the correct decisions all the time!
This might be the true definition of an unpopular opinion. In 10 years when you’re unhappily married to the one you swore was your “soul mate ” and getting divorced remember this post and say “ah shit I’m not allowed, this was my only chance. Gotta suck it up!”
Isn’t this kind of the status quo, anyway? Don’t the vast majority of people don’t with the best of intentions(in the US where I live, anyway)? I have never personally met someone who got married and intended to get divorced later on. From my experience, most married couples do so because they love their partner very much and want to spend the rest of their lives together. But then things happen. Someone cheats. Someone gets abusive. Someone leans hard into substance abuse and refuses to get help. Or you grow so far apart that you can’t find your way back.
Whatever the reason it ends, people don’t go into marriage with a plan to eventually get divorced
Tax benefits are the only reason some people get married. It aint your life; keep your nose out of other people’s private lives
So I just have one question within your framework, and it’s this: what is your answer to people who were in a happy marriage and then suddenly found out that their partner cheated on them without justification, and broke the marriage vows? Do you think it is somehow wrong for this person after a divorce to find another love?
“Hey, I know you just escaped a really abusive and toxic marriage from a person who literally fooled everyone, and that’s great for you, but you don’t get to try again.”
Holy fuck, OP.
I mean, the upside is, I don’t have to get married again. I can always just find your spouse and make them fall in love with me instead. No marriage needed…
This is absolutely an unpopular opinion
I don’t think love and happiness matter most. I value security and stability. Marriage is a legal contract. There’s nothing wrong with divorce rates, contracts change and expire all the time. A divorce isn’t a failure.
This is just a 12 year olds take on life. It’s not all peachy.
You sound very young. Does your mommy know you’re using Reddit?
If that was law I wouldn’t be married to my wife of 10 years.
Also my mom wouldn’t be getting married tomorrow afternoon! She caregave my ALS dad to the day he died. 8 years later she allowed herself to branch out and marry someone who also lost his spouse.
Do I think people should save themselves for marriage…no, I also think marriage is something sacred and not required to be in a loving relationship
Why don’t you live your life by those rules if you want to value you marriage like that and leave your judgement for everyone else the fuck at the door lmao what is this bullshit arbitrary opinion on what others should feel and do, gtfo
I agree with both your sentiment and that it is an unpopular opinion.
People have made marriage a joke by trivializing it. Instead people don’t vett their prospective partners throughly or just get married for the hell of it.
I mean yeah, that’s usually the goal
I agree, divorce should be like pulling the fire alarm, or breaking the window on a bus to make an emergency exit – severely frowned upon unless there’s a genuine excuse for it. Because that’s what divorce is meant to be – an emergency exit, not a thing you do if you get bored, or just feel a general sense of personality drift, or find you have different goals. We are so selfish and individualistic that all too often divorce happens for stupid and pathetic reasons that undercut the seriousness of the vow in the first place, such as one person wanting to travel and the other wanting to stay put (each party could obviously compromise and they just take a moderate number of holidays).
Yikes. Upvoted.
I agree 100% and I’m not religious at all despite all the commenters suggesting you must be to believe such a thing
With the caveat that you can get all the legal and financial benefits of being married even if you don’t marry.
People shouldn’t get married period. Who wants the government getting involved with their relationship and on top of that ewww religion
Let me know when the divorce party happens, OP. I’ll bring the booze.
I think it would be more important to require counseling prior to getting your marriage license, but I agree I think people are too eager to get married and don’t really take their vows seriously, which leads to divorce.
Sometimes your spouse starts fucking someone else and there’s nothing your sweet little heart can do about it love.