My mum has been sick for around half a year now. She hasn’t been doing too badly but over last week took a massive turn for the worst. She was rushed to hospital and seemed to be deteriorating.
At 1am on Wednesday I got a call from my sister telling me the hospital have phoned her and we should go now as our mum isn’t likely to make it through the night. I woke my gf and told her and asked her to drive me to the hospital.
She told me to drive but I told her I was in no state to drive. She said it would mean her getting dressed etc but I told her this is more important than how she looks. She just said she was tired due to the time and that it would be best for me to get a taxi.
I ended up waiting nearly 35 mins for a taxi and by the time I got there, I had less than 2 mins with my mum before she passed. When I got home my gf asked what had happened and I just told her we were done.
I told her I’d never be able to forgive her refusing to drive me to the hospital just because she didn’t want to get dressed. She said I know she can be self conscious about her looks but I just pointed out that doesn’t come before me saying goodbye to my dying mother.
She said i was being cruel and too hasty but I pointed out she is the cruel one making me wait for a taxi because she couldn’t be bothered to do the bare minimum for me. She again said I was being cruel and shouldn’t be taking my anger out on her.
AITAH for expecting her to drive me to the hospital?
Comments
Nah, you’re not the asshole at all. Your girlfriend really prioritized getting dressed over you saying goodbye to your mom? That’s wild. This wasn’t some minor inconvenience this was literally one of the worst moments of your life, and she chose vibes over being there for you. You’re not being cruel, you’re setting a standard that basic empathy is required in a relationship. You made the right call dropping her imagine trusting her in any future crisis.
NTA you don’t want to spend your life with someone like this. Condolences.
Your girlfriend is a narcissist. She cares about herself only. What more in the future? Goodluck if you want her to be your wife
NTA, I would drive my man anywhere he asked me to and he would drive me anywhere anytime. That’s how it should be but only if emergency’s, so the fact it was your mum dying and she didn’t drive you. You made the right choice.
Looks like this has been copied word for word from AITA.
AITA for expecting my partner to drive me to the hospital? : r/AmItheAsshole
NTAH. Your girlfriend was completely selfish. She cares more about her looks than about you losing your mother. She failed you.
And it kind of doesn’t matter if you are being fair or not. What you saw in your girlfriend not being there for you, at such a terrible time, has changed how you view her. And that’s all the reason you need to break up. Not that any reason is actually required.
I’m so sorry about your mom. The last thing you need right now is stress and drama from your ex-girlfriend. Keep her an ex.
NTA she could have stayed in the car or even driven back home to get presentable
Sorry for your loss, Jesus Fucking Christ your girlfriend is a cunt.
I know this may seem like a loss-loss currently. But your mother’s passing showed your gf’s true colours.
Wow, your girlfriend be horrified if she saw how I looked. I have three kids and a military husband I don’t have time to be doing my hair every time I leave the house. I totally rock my “homeless Post Malone” look when I take all three kids to school in the morning.
Nta. She sounds selfish and self centred. She wasnf there for you when you needed her. Thats a basic part of a couple , that you suppprt them in their time of need and she didnt. You deserve better.
NTA. She played a mean game and won a just reward. My thoughts and prayers for you on your loss.
NTA, my condolences on the death of your mom. Big hugs to you. You made a good call your girlfriend told you who she was and it’s selfish. You find out in your darkness moments who is truly there for you and your girlfriend is not a person I would want in my life anymore. Take care of yourself and ignore her because what she says is about herself you did nothing wrong. My friend had to put her beloved cat down a few weeks ago I drove her and sat with her in the hospital in my pajamas.
NTA. If she’s not willing to show up for you when you need her the most, that is NOT someone you should spend the rest of your life with. And if you don’t see yourself spending your life with someone, there is absolutely no point in dating them. She didn’t even have to get out of the vehicle. Hell, she could’ve literally dropped you off at the front door of the hospital and went back home to sleep. You definitely made the right call. I’m so sorry you only got to see your mom for a couple of minutes. I wish you nothing but healing and all the best
What a cruel, cruel person. I didn’t even get to see my Dad pass before he died.
Leave her immediately.
NTA, OP and my condolences for your loss. Your gf acted very selfishly, and her attitude is unforgiveable.
NTA – if a neighbour, who I’d not really spoken to before asked me this kind of favour, I would do this – with my Husband I would have had the car running before he was off the phone – in my PJ’s before I GTAd my way down there.
The refusal of your life partner to facilitate your safe and timely transport while your mother was literally dying, is so far beyond the realms of comprehension.
Very sorry for your loss of your mother. Your callous ex can go reasses her priorities without you.
She didn’t have to go in. She could have dropped you off and came back. I wouldn’t be able to stay with a person like that.
NTA
I am so sorry for the loss of your mum!
NTA
Your now ex prioritizes her appearance over being supportive or present for you. She is vain, superficial, self-absorbed, and possibly a narcissistic.
I am so sorry about your mom. And may your next girlfriend be someone kind, compassionate and beautiful on the inside. NTA
Nta
Bloody hell. She could of shoved on a pair of jeans, jumper and a coat and drove you.
I’m sorry you lost your mum big hugs it really does suck losing your mum
NTA at all, she just showed how selfish she is.
She can be anxious about herself 100% but in times like this no one cares or should care about how are you dressed up. Some people needs to grow up
NTA, she is a very selfish person who slept soundly and peacefully in bed as your world crashed down around you. She had absolutely not a care in the world about your grief and that shows how little respect, care or empathy she has for you. I can’t imagine how thoughtless she would be as a parent too. Ditch her.
NTA
I am sorry you only had 2mins left with your mum. But I am glad, that you had these last moments.
I don’t know if this helps, but most likely your mom waited for you. Arriving earlier, does not automatically mean, you would have been able to spend more time with her.
I am sorry for your loss. Spend the time with your sister.
NTA. I’m so sorry for your loss, OP. Thinking of you and sending love and strength your way ❤️🩹
She is selfish and obviously self absorbed. Cares about no One but herself! Imagine how you would have felt if you just five minutes later? If anything like that happens again, you just might be a minute or two too late! Find someone who values your feelings more than she does. I am sorry you went through that (are still going through it)!
“Bye Felicia”
NTA – so sorry for your loss
NTA in any way, shape or form. she’s an absolute AH tho. she stole time with your mother from you, that’s unforgivable imo. i’m so, so very sorry for your loss.
NTA. If she can’t put her feelings aside for something like this, there’s no hope for this relationship.
Hell, all she needed to do was drive you there and turn around and go home. I mean, a real partner would’ve been there for whatever you needed, but just the drive should’ve been bare minimum.
You’re not being cruel. Your ex is a horrible person.
NTA
NTA I would be so done with her as well. Clearly in the most major crisis she decided not to be there for you. I’ve lost a parent I couldn’t imagine my spouse leaving me out to dry like that. Sorry for your loss 🙏🏽
Why couldn’t you drive? Were you drunk or high or something? You knew your mother was sick. You knew this was coming so it wasn’t a sudden illness that put you in a sudden state of shock so you couldn’t drive. This is fake or there is more to the story.
Nta sorry about your loss, but there’s no fucken way I would have waited for a taxi/Uber I would of driven myself
My condolences for the loss of your mother. I dont think you’ll ever be able to see her the same. You’ll always associate her with this event now.
I’ve been on both ends of this, and we’ve both immediately jumped up and rushed to get there, everything else didn’t matter. That’s how true love works…
NTA. She showed you that she is not a true partner. She showed you that her vanity will always come before you. I’m deeply sorry about the loss of your mother. Not sorry at all about the loss of your vapid & shallow gf.
NTA, a partner like that is worthless. Hugs and strength
Your GF is not cruel. You should have driven yourself but chose to stand around for 35 minutes.
If you are so fragile as not to be able to drive in an emergency, your GF should reconsider going forward with a relationship with you.
My condolences for your loss.
NTA. It’s ironic that your ex thinks you’re being cruel but doesn’t see how cruel she was by denying you a ride to the hospital. She was being vain for no reason and caused you to lose precious time with your mom. I am so sorry for your loss.
Nope, she should be packing and reevaluating her life choices. I’m so very sorry for your loss 😞❤️❤️❤️
NTA she’s cold and has zero concern for you or your feelings if she really loved you or even cared she would have jumped at the opportunity to assist you through this heartbreaking loss. You are right to get rid of her. You would always have it in the back of your mind every time you look at her. That’s something that won’t ever be forgotten. My condolences to you 💐
OP is just another karma farming bitch ass bot account.
NTA.
When someone you supposedly love gets the GET HERE RIGHT NOW call you move heaven and earth to get that person there. All she had to do was chuck on a t shirt and sweats. Who was she going to be seen by at 1am?!
I had an ex like this. She wouldn’t even go get my Gatorade when I was sick. So glad I’m not with her anymore.
Nta is she the devil??? What’s wrong with here
NTA-I am sorry for your loss. Your girlfriend is a massive asshole. Her behaviour was wild, inappropriate, selfish and inconsiderate. She showed you her true colors.
NTA! I would’ve done the complete opposite and even speeded safely to get you there fast! She’s cruel and inconsiderate. Like that’s your mom!!.. May she rest and peace and I give my condolences.🤍
NTA, she’s a b-word if she prioritizes looking nice over you being with your dying mother. Get away from her as fast as possible.
Don’t go back to her. I’m so angry on your behalf. Absolute selfish cow.
I hope your Mum passed peacefully.
She could have literally thrown on some clothes and driven you. She didn’t even have to come in.
I would never be able to forgive her, and you are not the AH.
NTA. If this was my husband I would drive him in my pyjamas if it got him there faster. I’m sorry for the loss of your mother.
Wow! I’m so sorry about your mom! You are so not the Asshole! You are right in ending it with her! She is showing her true colors! I am so angry on you behalf!
Hugs and strength to you kiddo.
NTA. She would have to get dressed? WTF? All you need to do is throw on sweats and loose shirt. No one at the hospital at 3 am is judging your look.