My husband (30M) had a stroke a few nights ago. He had a stroke a couple of years ago as well. We are currently on vacation and out of state, and we were out dancing when he started to feel off, he thought maybe someone roofied him in an attempt to roofie me, or his cousin who was with us. We took him to the ER right away, and realized it was much worse, and he was having a stroke. We thankfully caught it in time and he has not suffered any extreme deficits or more nuero damage, but it was truly terrifying.
The problem is, it feels like no one cares, his family is here with us, and when we went out dancing, my in-laws stayed at the hotel with the kids. When I called them to tell them he had a stroke, they were seemingly more annoyed they’d have to watch the kids while we were in the hospital, than they were worried about his STROKE. I told my family and they showed some concern but very quickly just said “glad hes okay” and moved on. Even my own husband wants to just move on and pretend nothing happened…but, he had a STROKE, 2 of them, by the age of 30, that is abnormal and very much cause for concern, especially considering he otherwise has a perfect bill of health, he is incredibly fit and his bloodwork is always extraordinarily perfect. My family loves my husband, and my stepkids, and we are very close with my In laws, and are around them all the time. Am I overreacting here?? I feel like a stroke is so significant, and had I taken my husband back to the hotel like he had originally requested when he started feeling weird, he likely would have died in his sleep or been permanently disabled…. why is everyone underreacting??
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Backup of the post’s body: My (20F), husband (30M) had a stroke a few nights ago. He had a stroke a couple of years ago as well. We are currently on vacation and out of state, and we were out dancing when he started to feel off, he thought maybe someone roofied him in an attempt to roofie me, or his cousin who was with us. We took him to the ER right away, and realized it was much worse, and he was having a stroke. We thankfully caught it in time and he has not suffered any extreme deficits or more nuero damage, but it was truly terrifying.
The problem is, it feels like no one cares, his family is here with us, and when we went out dancing, my in-laws stayed at the hotel with the kids. When I called them to tell them he had a stroke, they were seemingly more annoyed they’d have to watch the kids while we were in the hospital, than they were worried about his STROKE. I told my family and they showed some concern but very quickly just said “glad hes okay” and moved on. Even my own husband wants to just move on and pretend nothing happened…but, he had a STROKE, 2 of them, by the age of 30, that is abnormal and very much cause for concern, especially considering he otherwise has a perfect bill of health, he is incredibly fit and his bloodwork is always extraordinarily perfect. My family loves my husband, and my stepkids, and we are very close with my In laws, and are around them all the time. Am I overreacting here?? I feel like a stroke is so significant, and had I taken my husband back to the hotel like he had originally requested when he started feeling weird, he likely would have died in his sleep or been permanently disabled…. why is everyone underreacting??
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I’d try to explain it but it isn’t worth the fight. Just take good care of him. You’re all he’s got.
I mean what do you want them to do? This is his second one he’s fine . He even said to move past it. What more do you want???
What is the hot take?
I mean he’s not reacting, there’s nothing to do about it now that he’s ok, how do you want people to feel? What do you want them to do? What do you want them to say? Maybe he can decide how he wants people to feel, do, and say about his condition, if he even has one.
People are worried, but I’d the doctors are saying he’s overall fine and no damage, do you want people to wrap him in bubble wrap? Or wrap you up? Because you’re taking on his stress.
I would be annoyed at their annoyance with the kids, but you might also be reading into their feelings here a bit. Did they say they were annoyed or frustrated?
ur husband needs to see a hematologist and check for blood clotting disorders or genetic mutations.
Is your age a typo?
He’s very young to have had two strokes (classified transient ischemia attacks if resolved under 24 hours.) Married men tend to live longer than single men, and you are seeing firsthand why that is. You two have children and he has an obligation to you and your kids to see a neurologist and figure out the underlying cause. I would be adamant if I were in your shoes.
You cannot control other people’s reactions. It may feel a bit cold and heartless that no one else seemed as concerned as you, and I’m not sure what you are looking to achieve here. Expend your energy on finding the underlying cause.
I guess I’m confused about what you’re expecting from people.
Yea. Things could have been worse if you didn’t go to the emergency room, but you did. Whatever actually happened, he is ok.
Genuinely asking, what kind of reactions are you expecting from people?
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It seems YOU want the sympathy on behalf of him?
So everyone but you is in denial. I don’t even understand the comments of people saying it’s. It big deal. It’s a stroke. Strokes kill and disable people. He could have a stroke and then become seriously disabled.
I have no recommendation on how to get him to take it seriously.
Sometimes people don’t respond to major events like strokes because of fear for the reminder of their own mortality and sometimes it’s because they simply don’t know how. Doesn’t make it “right”, but it does mean the behavior’s not rooted in apathy.
Consider talking with your husband again about how his stroke (and everyone else’s response), affected you, maybe with his physician present.
Wishing you, your husband, and your family healing and health.
I’ve learned with my years on this planet that no one cares. It’s sad it really is. And it’s worse since Covid. Covid ruined us badly. People are rude to others and don’t give a shit to help anyone anymore. I’m sorry op but I am glad your hubby is doing better!
Firstly, I’m glad he’s okay. If something like that happened to my husband I’d be so anxious every day. I think it sounds like they should have shown more concern, but ultimately when someone is okay people move on rather quickly. So their reaction may be underwhelming, but feels rather typical.
I just want to say, my husband has a condition called Factor Five Leiden. It causes him to be much more likely to get blood clots. Stroke risk for people with FVL is quite high, and times of lack of movement put an even higher risk of clots. But even with regular movement the body can still get clots. FVL is a mutation and it produces a protein that blocks the body’s natural anticoagulant. I think since your husband is young, and has already had two strokes, it would be worth it to get tested for FVL. It’s a blood test and they’ll know pretty quickly. The usual prescription is an anti coagulant so the platelets are less inclined to stick together.
Edited to add info.
Someone’s gotta say it: have the feeling the ppl around you don’t approve of the relationship.
I don’t mean to be too real but even family only sees and feels things from how it affects them. ✌🏽
Any drug use you don’t know about.
Ok, forget about other family members who are in denial. You don’t need them to care. Your main priority is to make your husband see reason. Two strokes at such a young age is beyond fucking concerning.
Forget about all the other “family” members who’ve allegedly shown no interest in his condition and instead focus all of that energy on your husband. Do everything you can to make him accept how serious having !!!two strokes!!! by the time you’re 30 really is.
Wasting time on the opinions of people who don’t matter, whilst your husband is in danger of becoming permanently disabled, is a hot take.
I don’t understand the commenters saying “what do you want them to do” “doctors say he’s fine, so what’s the problem”….. so you people not realize how significant a stroke is? A 30 year old man should not have 2 strokes when he’s in seemingly “good health” this is not normal. It’s also traumatizing to have to experience your partner going through something that could potentially cause death or life long disability TWICE. He needs to go a specialist and figure out what the hell is going on and OP, you need to seek therapy to help you cope with these feelings. Everyone around you is absolutely UNDERreacting. This is serious and needs follow up, he is obviously NOT in perfect health.
It’s a big deal. He should be followed closely by doctors going forward. Make sure he sees a cardiologist asap. And make sure your finances are in order.
A 30 year old man with kids who is currently married to someone who is barely out of teenagedom does not impress me as the sort of man who is willing to look at the truth of his situation.
I’m a caregiver and today, i happened to be subbing with a client who had a stroke. She cannot walk or feed herself. She can’t clean herself. They get a caregiver for 12 hours a week, the rest if the time, her elderly husband has to be ale care of her. He needs a ct scan and other tests
Thank the Lord you caught this early and figure out how to deal with it long term
But It won’t do you any good if other people are freaking out about it.
Life will unfortunately present stuff like this along the way. You’re young, but you’ve got this!
Could be unknown drug use, or high blood pressure he’s not taking care of ( watching diet & being serious about meds). 30 is young for 1 stroke never mind 2. Could be the blood disorder named in one of the comments. But he needs follow up, & he has to take it seriously.
Two strokes before the age of 35? That’s no bueno. That’s bad. He needs to see a doctor ASAP. Does he know what can happen if he doesn’t catch the next stroke within 24-48 hours? There’s a good chance he will be disabled for life.
Have a serious talk with them. Strokes are terrifying. I had one and so did my niece. Her lasting damage is worse than mine.
Your husband will have to be careful about this for the rest of his life. He should get a full workup with a neurologist and cardiologist. I have to take blood thinners every day which is equally teerifying.
Your family’s suck.
Right now focus on your husband, and worry about who your gonna cut out of your life later.
Yeah, strokes are pretty significant. Thank goodness your husband didn’t have what I got after my stroke, or my half-brother got after his. You never know how strokes can affect your body. Depending on where the bleed happens in the brain, you could walk away from it with no problems, you could have have issues like I have with balance, feeling temperature, walking and other things, or he could have been like my half-brother, no longer with us.
I would think that there’s an underlying reason why he’s having strokes so young in age. I was younger than your typical stroke sufferer – late 40s – when I had mine. It’s good that this last time you were able to detect it early, but I wouldn’t simply let it pass. It’s worth mentioning it to your doctor to see what they think.
As far as the family not caring, they might not be aware of the seriousness of having a stroke. As if it were a common cold. I don’t know what you can do about this, but hopefully, over time, they’ll learn about stroke. There’s a video on YouTube that’s pretty jarring to watch about someone having a stroke, and going through the FAST acronym.
All the best of luck to you and your husband.
I stopped at a 20 yo having kidS ( plural) w a 30 yo. So many issued there.
I remember a friend broke an ankle, and I remember thinking that’s terrible, but I didn’t fully grasp the seriousness of the injury until many years later.
Sometimes, people don’t understand. When they hear everything is fine, they think there’s no setback. The reality is that being bedbound even for a few days is terrible for your health.
Having had two strokes at his age is extremely alarming. He needs to see a physician (not an NP or PA) to get appropriate referrals to find out what the underlying cause is and address that. You also need to be having a very serious discussion with your husband about what happens if he dies, have a plan in place, and have a will in place. It’s not clear whether or not your husband have any children together, or just the stepchildren. There needs to be a plan in place for the children as well, especially step children. Do they have a mother? Do you have her contact information? If they don’t have a mother, it is that much more important that a plan be in place for them, because you have no legal rights and they will not automatically stay with you if he dies, if that’s what you and he and they want to happen.
All of that aside, you’re on vacation. There is nothing anyone can do right now. A lot needs to be done, but you’re out of state, and everyone was supposed to be having a good time. It’s possible people are reacting weirdly because of the vacation. Especially your family, who is back home and knows you’re on vacation. It’s also possible they are reacting weirdly because this is the second time, he won’t suffer any serious long term disability, and it feels “routine” at this point. Plus there is nothing for anyone to do. Other than offering you emotional support, you don’t need a meal train through hospitalization, help organizing childcare during PT, or that sort of thing.
It’s normal for you to be a lot more freaked out by this than everyone else. You know how close he was to falling asleep at the hotel and never waking up. And he’s your partner. Everyone else knows he had a stroke, it was caught early, and he’s fine. And he’s not spending every day of his life building a life with them, or spending most of his time with them. He’s an adult brother, adult son, adult cousin, daughter’s husband, sister’s husband, etc. It’s cold to say, but if he died, it would be less of an impact on everyone else (except his kids) because he is not part of anyone else’s daily life. So yeah, it’s very normal for you to react a lot more strongly than everyone else here. It’s okay to be really freaked out about all this. I’m still freaked out that when my daughter was two months old she nearly died of RSV and pneumonia, only the fact that a pediatrician trusted my instinct saved her life, and she’s 30 now. It’s normal for you to react this strongly, he’s your day to day, your partner, your ride or die.
I think it’s less that others are under reacting, and more that they’re reacting really differently than you because they have a different relationship to him than you do, combined with the fact that he’s okay. None of them are contemplating how close they just came to being a twenty year old widow.
Let me guess … “god’s will” kinda people?
What do you want them to do? Tears, shouting, getting drunk? It sounds like your husband is getting the support he needs. Maybe you need a counselor to talk to about your emotions, and what you need.
OP I had my first stroke at 27, I’m now 42 with 3 strokes under my belt. Same kind TIA. I have a blood disorder called lupus anticoagulant. Please have him checked for this. It’s a blood disorder that makes your blood clot. I was told I will eventually develop lupus from this and I have. There has to be a reason he is having these strokes.
Has he been checked for a PFO?
I had a stroke when I was about 11 yrs old. I was laying in bed about to drift off when it felt like someone was pouring boiling hot water on the left side of my face. I tried to get up but couldn’t and my face felt frozen even though it also felt burnt. I told my mom but other than being a little clumsy and a slight slurring of my speech, I was fine. I was given aspirin and carried on as usual. However I noticed afterwards that I often had trouble finding my words. For instance: I was trying to say “cup”. I could see the word in my mind but couldn’t physically say it. I could say “the thing I put my coffee in” but I just couldn’t say the word. I’m told that is called “aphasia”. It’s a subtle artifact of the stroke but it has never gone away.
Your husband is very lucky he survived and good on you for realizing how serious that was. The other people in your life seem to be in denial. I’d be annoyed and concerned too. Most importantly, your husband needs to follow his doctor’s orders and not let anyone distract him from taking good care of himself.
I think people who under react are in kind of a shock-freeze response. Best wishes to you and your husband ❤️
It’s very possible the husband has a coagulopathy (clotting disorder) that hasn’t yet been identified. It would be essential to get worked up for that by a good hematologist. But that’s the longer term picture (next few weeks, at best). In the meantime, like today, there isn’t much to be done. Sitting around speaking in hushed tones around him is not helpful to anyone. Maybe some words from a respected family member would help him see the big picture, but treating him like a fragile flower is unnecessary and potentially harmful. It’s scary, OP, but try to focus on what needs to be done rather than dwelling on the fears of “what if” because that’s destructive for everyone.
Perhaps his parents are emotionally detached, perhaps this happens in their family and they don’t think anything can be done.
If you need help in any way, you need to assign people tasks. That’s the only way to get through this. No one will volunteer. People shut off when they hear about illness. Many people who have what I have talk about how their “loved ones” don’t even believe they need assistive devices, and they’re using wheelchairs because they’re lazy. I”m talking parents, husbands, adult children, wives. This is the reality of illness.
You need to rattle your husband, though. Remind him that his kids depend upon him and he needs to find out what’s up for them.
My cousin had one before he was 30 also. It ended up being caused by a hole in his heart, luckily everything was repaired and there were no lasting damages. I hope everything ends up being ok and they figure out what’s causing them.
What is the primary diagnosis that is causing the strokes? Does he have it illness that leads to strokes that he is refusing to treat?
For instance, if he is morbidly obese, has a horrible diet, untreated diabetes or refusing to take his statins I would be less interested in his secondary diagnosis if they are caused by his non-compliance.
My dad did not have a stroke until he was in his 60s and in really bad health because of diabetes. Please, please have your husband go get it checked out. Having one stroke at the age of 30 is not normal, but 2???!!!! He really needs to see a neurologist.
I’m sorry that your in-laws are lacking empathy for his situation. Strokes are awful and life changing. However, it even seems your husband is kind of playing it off when this is a really serious event that he, again, really needs to be seeing a doctor for.
OP, this is hard advice to give, and I know from experience that it’s even harder to take. But, you need to make sure he has a will written out. You will need this if the worst should happen, because otherwise you will have a huge bill, and a huge headache while you’re trying to grieve.
You should also think about taking out a life insurance policy to ensure you and the children will be okay. If the children don’t go with their mother, or other family.
I’ve recently lost my entire family, my mother, my father, my brother, and my sister. Even my friend and my dog. Probate is not a fun ride. It’s hard enough without having to resort to probate.
This is classic denial. He didn’t die. He’s not disabled. He’s OK. They’re not even thinking that. They moved straight into denial, which is a psychological defense mechanism.
Along with a full medical workup to get to the bottom of this, your husband need to make a will to protect you and your step kids. He may not even be able to get life insurance now. So there is a lot you will be reckoning with at a very young age.
20 and 30. Yikes. He is not a good person
It’s a guy thing more times than not when it comes to reactions. Like if it were me I’d be under playing it, but that’s because even if I did a grand performance it’s not like anyone can do anything to undo the damage 🤷♂️ life will carry on. Just love him and tell him that you’re not leaving his side. He needs the comfort more than he’s willing to admit
I’m so sorry you and your husband are having to deal with all of this. But from my experience (lost half my skull) nobody does care. Some pretend to at first, but even they very, very quickly disappear. People are fantastic at pretending to care when everything’s okay.
About no one caring. It’s social media it’s isolating and self centeredness combined with dopamine hits like a drug addict we are all fucked
A stroke absolutely is significant. Of course. But what can people say? There’s nothing that’s going to make you feel better: people know how serious they are – in the U.K. anyway, there’s regular adverts about them. Surely they are holding back from telling you how awful it is for your sake. (I’m not referring to parents possible annoyance at having the kids longer, which I presume is gut reaction before the reality kicks in). Your husband has been through this before so presumably they are blase based on his previous recovery.
You have my sympathies and I hope you get the support you need xx
Your family probably doesn’t like him and doesn’t want to tell you. With the age gap and you being 20 years old with stepkids
What would overreacting achieve. This is just the way some people are. He is your husband. What does it matter if others under react?
Watch out for testosterone supplements especially prescribed T thickens the blood & can cause strokes
If he went to the hospital and had a full work up (cardiac, hypercoag panels, etc), then it’s time to start looking for malignancies. Also another real problem is functional neurology. We are very sure he had strokes? Like MRI evidence?
See a doctor, go from there. Don’t get wrapped up in everyone’s reaction — that’s drama. Focus on the priorities.
Rn the focus is on him, but OP it sounds like you need more support too. I’m sorry your family is checked out, it’s so disappointing when it really counts. Do you have closer friends or individual family members that you can talk to about your worries? Pull them in if you can, maybe they can even run interference on the rest of the fam.
A friend of mine had a stroke young – everything turned out fine fyi – but his wife and kids went through everything with him, and it took a lot of strength from the whole village. I hope the best for you!
Ok. Not to say you are overreacting, because it was a stroke (twice). And absolutely keep seeing doctors and specialists. And therapy. For both of you.
But I didn’t really come here to say that. I came here to tell you about my own husband. Two strokes by the age of 30. No known reason. No known cause. Years of blood thinners and rushing to the er if he hit his head. This was when he was married to his first wife. I didn’t meet him until he was 42. We’ve been together for 10 years now. So over 20 years with literally no other strokes or issues related.
The suck thing is that you’ll always be watching him for signs. Be familiar. Know what to do in any situation if it happens again. But breathe. They may never find anything. And he may be just fine, anyway.
It’s an insanely scary and disturbing thing that I think many people have an unconscious habit of sweeping under a rug and dissociating from. Really sorry that happened and I’m glad he is okay all things considered.
Not sure what you expect them to do?
I think they are under reacting because he has had a stroke and seems to be healthy. They think this time will be the same.
You seems to be the only one taking this with the seriousness that it needs. You will just have to ignore these people and focus on your husband. Get him to a specialist to find out what the heck is going on
Good luck. He is fortunate to have you.
I get it. My husband had a stroke we caught it before it was really bad. He still has numbness on his right side from time to time and doesn’t have fine motor skills in his right hand.
His family still doesn’t get it and expect him to do things like fix their cars or climb on a roof to fix it.
They seem to think that because he is not bedridden he’s fine. They don’t understand.
I’m sorry you’re going through that! Most of the time friends/ family go with the reaction of the affected and he (from your description) seems to not accept it as a big deal. Please see a therapist bc you can’t affect how others react but only how you react to their reaction. Your trauma regarding loosing your husband is real! I have a family member dealing with anaphylactic shocks no doctor can explain and several years after the worst one I still have nightmares. No one else (including themselves) thinks of it still and do not want to talk about it anymore. The therapy really helped to deal with it and accept how others feel about it.
My dad has a stroke, but apparently had been experiencing ischemic strokes for years. A big stroke killed him a couple years ago. He was 65.
Your in-laws are in denial. It is extremely abnormal to have a stroke before 35. He really needs to get some serious blood panels or testing. There’s definitely something up. Could be genetic.
In my dad’s case, I suspect that it was the chronic myelogenic leukemia. He never took care of himself either. However, his blood pressure wouldn’t get under control no matter what meds he was on and then a doc had some suspicions which led to finding the leukemia. He had a major stroke not long after remission.
Yeah he definitely needs further follow-up. Cardiologist, neurologist, and neurosurgeon to start. 2 strokes at age 30 is definitely not normal. Do you know if it was a clot, or a bleed? From the story I assume it’s a clot or a plaque.
Good luck, don’t let him brush it off.
Did he get the jab or multiple bouts of covid? Is he drinking/smoking or eating whatever he wants after the first stroke? Does he take any supplements outside of medications ?
all these factors matter.
Lotta people don’t really care because it’s not happening to them or their significant other but you have a serious problem here you better get him completely checked out he may have blockage to his carotid arteries in his neck that happened to my father so definitely get him checked out because if he’s having strong this young, what’s gonna happen when he’s older there so you better get on it right now good luck to you
This might be a little left field but is there a chance this has been going on longer than he has let on? Could his family know something you don’t? Sounds a bit like they are desensitized to it for some reason!
Hugs, sounds so stressful
For the rest of the family, I’m not sure what exactly you want them to do. He’s ok now. They can’t do much about it, and it seems like they are all glad he’s OK. If your husband is saying it’s no big deal, there isn’t much the rest of the family can do.
Your husband should probably take it a bit more seriously, though. If it’s happened twice by that age, he almost certainly has something wrong with him that needs to be diagnosed and treated before it happens a third time.
I don’t know, my family is kinda the same way. We even have several medical professionals.
I had a pulmonary embolism. Not cool, right? All the tests came back clean, sent to hematology and cardiology for follow-ups and more tests
I thought there would be a genetic disposition because my mom had at least 3 DVT.
Nope, clean bill of health, take a blood-thinner, exercise everyday
I work in stroke at a high level. I hope his STROKE CONSULTANT Is making sure the right things are done and contacting other teams when /as needed.
Find the cause- PFO and young stroke blood test should have been done at first stroke.
Don’t worry about anyone saying u should see 6 other teams- ur first port is a good stroke consultant.
Round stroke is VERY specialist. So stroke consultants (with neuro expertise) do this (in uk )
Are you still on vacation or did you hurry back home asap so your hubby’s docs could also check him out? If you stayed for the wedding/parties after his stroke, the family may feel they are taking his stroke in the same manner you and he are—nothing to get in the way of celebrating
Your husband needs to see some specialists
I had a stroke at 43. My folks are 700 miles away. I have no memory of this, but my parents came after I had been in the hospital for a couple days, stayed for a day and a half, and drove back home. They stayed in a hotel, but managed the 5 minute drive from the hotel to our house to spend 30 minutes with our then 13 and 15 y/o kids. They did not wash a dish, cook a meal, clean a counter… nothing. Granted, mine was during COVID, but it crushed me to learn this when I came out of my stroke fog a couple of months later. I think they came for my funeral but when they learned I would live, they went home.
People do not like to be bothered. Some people hate to be uncomfortable. My parents are people who do not do anything that makes them uncomfortable. It has been years and the emotional trauma remains. They did not hardly speak to our children?!? It was and still is crushing. Oh, and both of my folks were career medical professionals. That’s nice.
You are not overreacting, but your reaction will not change selfish people. It does not mean they don’t love your husband, or you, but it tells you their love is on their terms. I wish I could say magic words to make this hurt less or have less anger, but I don’t. All I can say is that I am grateful your husband is okay.
The cause of my stroke was found with a full panel work up from a hematologist. He may have a clotting disorder or any number of conditions that can be identified by hematology or cardiology.
Best of luck and I hope this helps a little. 💫💕
He needs to see a specialist. I will give one positive example of 2 strokes at a young age. Pittsburgh Penguins hockey player Chris Letang has had two strokes, and he’s still playing hockey in his late 30’s. It’s certainly cause for concern and further medical tests, but it’s not unheard of. Wishing you the best.
On your question, there could be a level of shock or denial going on that is impacting people’s reactions. If they are good people who love you, I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.
There are a LOT of great suggestions here. As you are on vacation, I would discuss with the ER or Dr there on how to safely get home. Get your primary care Dr appt for right when you get home and tell them to send in referrals for asap appts to these specialists. I would suggest calling NOW to set up hematology and cardiologist appointments. Also neurologist and even a geneticist could be helpful but for sure those 3. These specialists often have long wait times. The wait time is heavily dependent on the level of urgency your referring physician puts in.
Have you looked into CADASIL? This is about the age it would start to manifest.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but make sure he gets to a specialist. I’m 41 and I thought I was in great health but turns out the veins in my legs are hardening, I had a large clot in my left leg, and I’m retaining too much calcium. I’m good now just have to watch what I eat but the big ones could easily come.
Please find out what his echocardiogram showed and if he didn’t get one, make an appointment to see a cardiologist to look for PFO. Also he may need to be evaluated for sleep apnea. And check for clotting disorders. If you are able to explain to him that the next one may land in a nursing home with a g-tube, maybe he will listen and take it seriously.
A lot of replies have offered, mostly helpful, advice about what steps you should take next. But to address your concerns about whether your families are under reacting to your husband’s second stroke, can I suggest that denial is a common reaction to a frightening situation. I spent most of my working life in cancer and palliative care, providing psychosocial support; denying the possibilities of what might happen is, for many people, a way of initially managing the fears that they feel. I do hope that as your family, and your husband’s family, get past the initial shock, they will be able to rally round and support you and your husband, and of course each other. I wish you all the best.
You’re not wrong, this isn’t normal. I’d be concerned even if he was older.
Please have him see a Hematologist & have them check for Polycythemia Vera. My ex-husband had his first stroke at 40 & it was found that was the cause.
People can get really weird around ill health. Denial is very real and I feel for you having to deal with this on top of what you are already handling. I’m sorry I don’t have any suggestions for how to get them to face reality, I can only sympathise.
Was a stroke confirmed on MRI?
My mom had two strokes months apart in her 30s turns out she had a golf ball sized brain tumor.
What kind of texting has he had to diagnose why he is having a stroke? Has he had an ECHO?