I recent trade my old truck in for a new ones but I can afford it but why I am feel horrible about it? I always had a rough times spending money on myself but not on others like my ex girlfriend we were together and I was wondering anyone experience the same
Why am I feel guilty even though I can afford it?
r/Advice
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Do You have a job that pays more than your expenses?
Did you love that truck
if i get u right then it’s related to self esteem issues and stuff if so pls no u deserve the best
It’s that classic brain glitch: spend $500 on someone else? Hero. Spend $5 on yourself? Criminal
As someone who grew up “lower middle class” at best and was always concerned about stability, I am very risk-average when it comes to money – even now when most would consider me “well off”. In the back of my mind it would all be gone tomorrow if I make a bad decision.
I feel that way as well, I just can’t treat myself to things that are above a certain amount of money (even though I know that I can afford it), when I’m happy to buy them for my parents without a second thought.
Were you taught about the value of money as a child? When I was a kid my parents were always transparent about their finances, and I think that just made me subconsciously calculate whether certain items are worth the amount of money (and effort needed to earn that money), which deters me from buying them. Another factor is probably self worth. You might not see yourself as “worthy” of your new truck, or you don’t think that you’ve earned it, which makes you think twice about spending that money. I know that I’m more willing to spend money on myself after doing well on my exams, as a treat for working hard.
Because you view others more favourably than you see yourself (i.e. your ex) due to the joy they bring you, you might subconsciously think that they are “worth” your money so you’re more than happy to buy things for them, almost like a transaction. They give you happiness and you give them something else (in this case, materialistic goods) in return. Also, some people feel happier when they do things for the people they love, so that might also play a part.
No need to feel guilty if you earned the money through hard work. If you think life has been rather easy for you, then make a donation to a food bank or a local charity.
It could just be stress from such a big purchase. Buying a truck is a big deal and payments make a difference. You’re chillin
You’re definitely not alone in feeling this way. A lot of people struggle with spending money on themselves, even when they can afford it – especially if they were used to prioritizing others in the past. It sounds like you’ve been generous with people you cared about, and now doing something just for you feels unfamiliar or even ‘selfish’, even though it’s not.
Sometimes guilt comes from old habits or beliefs, like thinking you don’t ‘deserve’ something nice unless it’s for someone else. But you worked for this, and you do deserve to enjoy what you earn. Be kind to yourself – this is part of learning to take care of you, too.
I make sure the decision makes sense, locally. Once I get there, the spending part is no problem.
It most likely depends on your upbringing and how your parents viewed high cost items, and it wouldn’t necessary have to do with poverty or scarcity. If your parents always shot down a request for an expensive item, claiming that you don’t “need” it/ compromised by giving you the less expensive, lower quality version / if you were given a lot of hammy-downs / or told the one you already have “works just fine,” then your guilt would make sense.
But it could still have to do with poverty. The “but I don’t NEED it” would be from an upbringing where funds could only go to survival and self development (books, sports, clubs) but gaming systems and fashion were scoffed at.
Could also be societal pressures in action as well. you could’ve watched your parents keeping a shoe string budget for themselves and kids but when it comes to impressing the boss, neighbors, family, they’d loosen the reigns to not be viewed as “cheap a-holes.” So it would make sense that you feel like it’s okay to spend that kind of money on someone else but not yourself.
But your feelings could be a sorta kinda “trauma” response to experiencing financial trouble in the past. If you made a massive purchase to “treat yourself” and the next day a major unforeseen personal financial crisis popped up where you thought to yourself “i really shouldn’t have bought that jacuzzi” then you could be experiencing some ripple effects of that.
You’re used to taking care of others. That is so sweet. I felt like this after I had kids. I didn’t feel right buying clothes or shoes for myself.
Have you had a time period in your life where money was tight? Childhood or growing up?