so i was using my boyfriend’s phone the other day to send myself some pictures we took, and i ended up in his hidden album by accident. i wasn’t snooping. he’s shown it to me before so i didn’t think it would be a big deal. most of it was old stuff, random screenshots and a few of us together. but then i noticed something new… a photo of his ex. not just any photo, either. she was wearing this tight little dress, definitely posed, definitely sexy. it had clearly been saved recently.
we’ve talked about her before and he always says it’s over, that it wasn’t even that deep, but finding that photo made my stomach drop. it’s not like he took it himself, it looked like it was from social media or something, but still… why would he save that? and why now?
i haven’t said anything yet because i feel kind of crazy even bringing it up. maybe it was a dumb mistake, maybe he forgot it was there. but it’s been eating at me and i don’t know if i’m overreacting or if this is something worth talking about. i guess i just needed to write it out somewhere.
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> ended up in his hidden album by accident.
No, you didn’t.
noone but him knows the answer. in order to know why someone did something u have to ask them, because a strangers guess is as good as urs if not worse. if hes being honest thats great which ur supposed to assume in a healthy relationship. if hes lying and hiding something then it will come out one day or it will be obvious. no way to know other than ask and observe
It’s not a mistake. Ask him. He saw it liked it kept it. End of story
Go to her insta and see when the photo was posted
Ask him.
Ok so to clarify: you’ve seen the album before? So you can confirm it’s new? Here for you
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Is there any “innocent” explanation for this? In these kinds of situations, “talking” will only give him the opportunity to gaslight or neg you. It’s not even worth it. I’d personally just end it.
Don’t lie and say it was an accident, you 100% suspected he was cheating and went digging; you don’t get to be upset when you found exactly what you wanted on his phone. Next time just dump someone without looking for proof of cheating, at that point the relationship is over on your side even if your partner is innocent.
How do you know it was new? We need more info.
Maybe he saved it to talk shit on her with his boys or maybe he has lingering feelings. We couldn’t possibly know but you should ask him. It’ll just eat away at you if you don’t.
Might have kept it there to catch you snooping when you come ask about it
Well it’s hard to believe you ended up there on accident. Even if you did.. it seems like you were looking for something. HOWEVER, usually people looking for something end up finding something and you did. He hid a picture of his ex for him to have and hide from you. That’s fishy as F.
Spank bank
Don’t know if he is cheating. But he is might be scrolling through her social media and extracting her current sexy images.
Hmmm… maybe communicate your feelings with him instead of the internet
They always say curiosity kills the cat.
But honestly just say it like you did here, either he’ll get mad and you’ll know.
Or he’ll just say some stupid shit like, oh it was a really good picture of her and I just wanted it for memories.
Approach him with care about this. If you come in hot he’s going to deflect. Make sure he understands you want to know why, not that you’re putting him on trial. This is coming from a dude btw. We shut down real quick with things like this where we feel attacked. Side note who actually uses the hidden album? Literally screams “come look for shady shit”
Doesn’t matter if she was snooping, photo wasn’t supposed to be there nta
Look I’m going to play devils advocate, because I feel like even though it’s a huge red flag it might not be something to split over.
It might be an accident, he could’ve found it hot in the moment and not be thinking things through. Using the wrong head. But truthfully it’s not a valid excuse because it’s proof he is slipping up. If it’s truly nothing more then you should assert your boundaries, because it’s not okay and not talking about it or acting like it’s okay could let the behavior increase.
The guy needs to get himself together. Because he’s stepping into areas of micro cheating. (And also you definitely didn’t get into the folder by mistake)
Admit you went snooping and found something you didn’t like! He might be upset initially at the invasion of privacy, but it’s better than letting this wear down your relationship unfairly by keeping this secret and not allowing him a chance to explain
You were snooping on his phone, just own it. Don’t lie. Talk to him about it but be honest and tell him you were snooping.
lol by accident those albums need a code but regardless if u don’t like it just tell him if it’s a big deal to him u know something is up
Me personally do some digging before confronting him , one little can be misunderstanding but a pile of evidence can be the obvious truth
The bigger question is whether you otherwise have a good relationship that you enjoy being in ? If so then talk to him, see the human he is and give him the benefit of the doubt. The fact that youre in his private folder enough to notice something new is a red flag. Why are you looking in his private folder? Is it a codependent relationship? Do you not respect eachothers boundaries? A private folder is a boundary of private space for oneself and unless youre newly invited you shouldn’t be in his
What you found is not that scandalous. It could be so much worse. A photo of an ex he cares about looking attractive, clothed is relatively tame. Private folders are for private stuff. If you look in peoples private folders then youll see things that are going to “reward” your prying with salaciousness or whatever. Many would disagree with me but i dont think there is anything wrong with him having a whole private folder entirely devoted to appreciation for his ex let alone one photo as long as he is not acting on it.
Why does he have it? Because he likes the photo. He likes the person in the photo. It doesn’t mean he loves her. He may have opened an old email or something and found it or seen it on social media and said “damn there’s my beautiful ex who i would never date again but this represents an event or occasion or experience or aspect of me.”
Personally I have lots of photos of my exes. Not out on the walls but collections I cherish . I appreciate those men who i loved and it was an important time in my life. And the pics of them isn’t about wanting to be with them but about keeping the pieces of my story and the characters that shared the journey
Unpopular opinion: does it matter?
We snoop. Find shit we don’t wanna see. We ruin our happiness by ourselves, again and again.
Then get paranoid and become toxic. Who benefited from this cycle? (No one).
If im you, I would talk to him. Start by apologizing for snooping and admitting my mistake and then ask for clarity. I wouldn’t wanna be with someone who still has feelings for his ex.. If he said no, focus on the relationship and don’t look for drama.
I’m saying this bec I was you for decades. Now I don’t look for misery.
If you can, do not say anything. Just keep an eye out and look for other signs. It could’ve just been as benign as he thought. She looked hot and saved it. I would trust my gut, but would stay cool and look for other signs. Best wishes!
you are not overreacting. you’re responding like any person would when they feel like something sacred might’ve just been disrespected. and no, it doesn’t make you “crazy” to feel unsettled by this. a recently saved sexy photo of his ex, tucked into a hidden album? that’s intentional.
even if it came from social media, even if he didn’t take it himself, the fact that he chose to save it now while in a committed relationship with you matters. it’s not just about the photo, it’s about what it signals. a lingering interest, a private moment carved out to focus on someone he claimed was “not that deep”? and the “hidden” part? well, that adds a layer. people don’t hide things they’re proud to be honest about.
this doesn’t mean you have to explode on him. but it does mean a conversation is owed to you. your feelings are valid, and pretending this didn’t mess with your trust won’t make it go away. if you try to swallow it down, it’ll just fester into resentment.
approach it with honesty, not accusation. say something like, “hey, when i was sending the pictures, i ended up in your hidden album and i noticed that photo of your ex. i haven’t said anything because i’ve been trying to figure out how i feel, but honestly, it’s been sitting heavy with me. can you help me understand why it’s there?”
his reaction will tell you everything. does he get defensive, blame you, or downplay it? or does he take accountability, validate your feelings, and explain without trying to twist the narrative? people show their character in how they respond when they’re called in. not just called out.
this isn’t about control or jealousy. it’s about respect. and your gut flagged something for a reason. trust it. best of luck x
It’s okay that it upset you. Your gut dropped for a reason- the little whisper that said “this doesn’t sit right.” Honor that.
But also: don’t let this moment make you question your worth. You are not in competition with anyone’s past. Your boyfriend chose you. So maybe this is your reminder to trust your own magic, to stop making room in your mind for ghosts who don’t belong in your story. Confront him if you want, but don’t let it eat you. Rise.
Take your own photos in a little dress – for you- only share with your bf in you want.
Remember, you are the main character. The plot doesn’t move without you.
Lmao @ “by accident”
By the same dress see what he says
Ask him nicely, and make sure you don’t ambush him or get emotional. And say, “should I be concerned?” And let him answer for himself. Don’t jump to conclusions without confirmation.
Why didn’t you check the date that the picture was saved on it ? And the source of the image
You could easily know from where he got the picture and when exactly