It wasn’t really full of love. Even if we loved each other and had strong feelings, we didn’t want the same things in life, or I wanted more than they were capable of offering.
If I could go back in time, I would not date any of my exes again. I’m pretty happy with my current bf, although I am still getting to know him and his character.
My husband passed away but I fell into a pattern of unhealthy relationships after his passing. I seemed to always attract the men who need someone to take care of them and I was more than willing to clean up their lives and finances and bear the burden of all their desires.
It felt like love but it wasn’t. I still care about them but it is not healthy for me.
He loved me but loved his job more. We moved for his job only for him to literally be married to his job. I was tired of playing second. He also straight up told me he’d choose his job over me because it provides financial security and I don’t. A lot of other things happened but I decided I can’t be someone’s second choice specially when #1 is a fucking job.
We both were in love with each other, but he made me feel trapped. He didn’t accept the parts of me and the things I wanted to experience that were antithetical to his own worldview. He didn’t make me feel safe to fully be myself. I had preconceived notions about romantic relationships and what you were supposed to do in one that were incompatible with his needs. And that’s what it really came down to in the end – we couldn’t fulfill each other’s needs, despite loving each other, even years after the break up.
He had anger issues, I became afraid of him, and he wouldn’t admit there was anything wrong and refused to get help. When he was in a good mood it was a perfect relationship in many ways. I was completely in love with him, I truly wanted to marry him, and that was our goal. Wasn’t a real problem until we moved in together.
I left because he went from “what can we do for each other” and became “what can YOU do for ME?”
Although my alcoholic ex was making significantly more money than I, he expected everything be split down the middle – equal, not equitable. However, he refused to contribute to household chores because working was his “job”. I realized if we moved in together/got married, I’d be expected to shoulder 100% of the housework, yet maintain 50% of the bills.
I felt suffocated living in his smaller un-walkable city, and there’s no way he’d get used to living in my city, which is one of the largest in the country.
We were better as friends. I thought if I worked hard enough I could turn a platonic love into a romantic love but it always felt like something was missing.
He had an addiction he couldn’t kick. That on top of being first time parents was stressful. He’s a good person and he’s great with our son so I don’t resent him. I have a lot of questions but some are better left unanswered.
He revealed to me he has a son after a month of dating. Continued to date a little while after that but i had it in mind that i needed to break it off at some point. I just never envisioned that for myself and I thought it was very unfair to me that he waited so long to tell me. By that point I already got attached to him. It also felt like a major red flag that he never met his child and had no involvement. It was quite triggering for me and I knew I could never have a future with a man like that.
His what I called his “dumb comments”, stuff that should stay in your head instead of filtering out. Our last weekend together, he made a homophobic and sexist comment in the span of minutes. I also realized that I couldn’t give up my kittens due to this significant allergies. Bye, boy, bye.
We were in love but sometimes love isn’t enough. In the long term we realized that we weren’t compatible enough to raise kids tougher in a peaceful home so it just wasn’t going to work.
I gradually fell out of love, lost the admiration I once had and I started losing physical/mental romantic attraction, and started feeling unhappy in the relationship. Sadly he had a lot of personal issues that affected me and our relationship, and while I tried with everything I had, love isn’t enough.
Didn’t like his family. Lots of unresolved and unrecognized generational trauma. Very loving partner but hated his narcissistic and vengeful brothers & dad. I can be understanding and give them a pass but I can only tolerate/handle so much
I stopped being attracted to him to the point I didn’t really want him to touch me. Maybe I was never actually attracted to him. Good guy, found another girl and he is now hopefully happy. I do root for him
Trauma. Everything happened so fast. I ran away one night. 6 months later and I’m still in disbelief that he abused me. I loved no one else but him in my 40 years. I see him so vividly every day in my sleep and flashbacks. It’s like he never left. I’m grieving so very badly that sometimes I just don’t want to live. I never wanted anything in life but him. He was my husband. His love ran in my blood. Idk how we ended up here!! I can’t go back but equally I can’t move forward. I should file a divorce but I’m not able to.
He was incredibly controlling and an alcoholic. I told myself that the control and manipulation was love for a long, long time, but then I found real love, and it was very clear.
My most recent relationship ended because I couldn’t deal with his problems with alcohol. But that also brought up lies, lack of physical touch, and an unfulfilled sex life. When someone tells you over and over they will get better and they don’t it gets old. You then start to not trust their word, which turns into being let down over and over which leads to finding them unattractive because they can’t keep their word. We never shared physical touch, no matter how much I explained that is my top love language. I found myself only having sex to feel close to him. But the sex was unsatisfying. Eventually I knew I didn’t want to do that the rest of my life, so I left.
Comments
I lost respect for him due to his alcoholism, which also led to a dead bedroom
It wasn’t really full of love. Even if we loved each other and had strong feelings, we didn’t want the same things in life, or I wanted more than they were capable of offering.
If I could go back in time, I would not date any of my exes again. I’m pretty happy with my current bf, although I am still getting to know him and his character.
We had love for one another but realized we weren’t in love and we weren’t compatible.
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Because he prefered not to have childrens and i couldn’t see myself not being a mother
My husband passed away but I fell into a pattern of unhealthy relationships after his passing. I seemed to always attract the men who need someone to take care of them and I was more than willing to clean up their lives and finances and bear the burden of all their desires.
It felt like love but it wasn’t. I still care about them but it is not healthy for me.
He loved me but loved his job more. We moved for his job only for him to literally be married to his job. I was tired of playing second. He also straight up told me he’d choose his job over me because it provides financial security and I don’t. A lot of other things happened but I decided I can’t be someone’s second choice specially when #1 is a fucking job.
Ultimately, incompatible lifestyles. We were very much in love and very good for each other, but well sometimes love just ain’t enough
He wanted kids and I didn’t. We had somewhat discussed about it but something changed for him.
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We both were in love with each other, but he made me feel trapped. He didn’t accept the parts of me and the things I wanted to experience that were antithetical to his own worldview. He didn’t make me feel safe to fully be myself. I had preconceived notions about romantic relationships and what you were supposed to do in one that were incompatible with his needs. And that’s what it really came down to in the end – we couldn’t fulfill each other’s needs, despite loving each other, even years after the break up.
Me happened
Because we were emotionally incompatible and I outgrew him
He travelled too often (half the year) for work, leaving me emotionally unfulfilled.
He had anger issues, I became afraid of him, and he wouldn’t admit there was anything wrong and refused to get help. When he was in a good mood it was a perfect relationship in many ways. I was completely in love with him, I truly wanted to marry him, and that was our goal. Wasn’t a real problem until we moved in together.
[removed]
I left because he went from “what can we do for each other” and became “what can YOU do for ME?”
Although my alcoholic ex was making significantly more money than I, he expected everything be split down the middle – equal, not equitable. However, he refused to contribute to household chores because working was his “job”. I realized if we moved in together/got married, I’d be expected to shoulder 100% of the housework, yet maintain 50% of the bills.
I felt suffocated living in his smaller un-walkable city, and there’s no way he’d get used to living in my city, which is one of the largest in the country.
We were better as friends. I thought if I worked hard enough I could turn a platonic love into a romantic love but it always felt like something was missing.
He had an addiction he couldn’t kick. That on top of being first time parents was stressful. He’s a good person and he’s great with our son so I don’t resent him. I have a lot of questions but some are better left unanswered.
He revealed to me he has a son after a month of dating. Continued to date a little while after that but i had it in mind that i needed to break it off at some point. I just never envisioned that for myself and I thought it was very unfair to me that he waited so long to tell me. By that point I already got attached to him. It also felt like a major red flag that he never met his child and had no involvement. It was quite triggering for me and I knew I could never have a future with a man like that.
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Because I realized we weren’t compatible.
He claimed he loved me more than I loved him, but he cheated and didnt put effort into romance/fun in our relationship.
I left a guy that treated me well because he didnt want kids.
I thought it was full of love, certainly felt like it. But he cheated, so it must not have been and the love was a lie… so I left.
His what I called his “dumb comments”, stuff that should stay in your head instead of filtering out. Our last weekend together, he made a homophobic and sexist comment in the span of minutes. I also realized that I couldn’t give up my kittens due to this significant allergies. Bye, boy, bye.
We were in love but sometimes love isn’t enough. In the long term we realized that we weren’t compatible enough to raise kids tougher in a peaceful home so it just wasn’t going to work.
I gradually fell out of love, lost the admiration I once had and I started losing physical/mental romantic attraction, and started feeling unhappy in the relationship. Sadly he had a lot of personal issues that affected me and our relationship, and while I tried with everything I had, love isn’t enough.
Loving is one way to put it
Didn’t like his family. Lots of unresolved and unrecognized generational trauma. Very loving partner but hated his narcissistic and vengeful brothers & dad. I can be understanding and give them a pass but I can only tolerate/handle so much
I stopped being attracted to him to the point I didn’t really want him to touch me. Maybe I was never actually attracted to him. Good guy, found another girl and he is now hopefully happy. I do root for him
Trauma. Everything happened so fast. I ran away one night. 6 months later and I’m still in disbelief that he abused me. I loved no one else but him in my 40 years. I see him so vividly every day in my sleep and flashbacks. It’s like he never left. I’m grieving so very badly that sometimes I just don’t want to live. I never wanted anything in life but him. He was my husband. His love ran in my blood. Idk how we ended up here!! I can’t go back but equally I can’t move forward. I should file a divorce but I’m not able to.
He was incredibly controlling and an alcoholic. I told myself that the control and manipulation was love for a long, long time, but then I found real love, and it was very clear.
different lifestyles
My most recent relationship ended because I couldn’t deal with his problems with alcohol. But that also brought up lies, lack of physical touch, and an unfulfilled sex life. When someone tells you over and over they will get better and they don’t it gets old. You then start to not trust their word, which turns into being let down over and over which leads to finding them unattractive because they can’t keep their word. We never shared physical touch, no matter how much I explained that is my top love language. I found myself only having sex to feel close to him. But the sex was unsatisfying. Eventually I knew I didn’t want to do that the rest of my life, so I left.
It was a toxic form of love, not really love at all
He was a mama’s boy