DH and I spend pretty much all big holidays with ILs, but especially Christmas brunch. MIL pushes and tries for dinner, but the last couple years we (I) have really put my foot down. DH and I need to be able to make our own traditions, ffs.
DH and I are from different cultures and in recent years MIL has been pushing for us to also spend my “big holidays” with them. It is sweet but dear lord!!! There’s only so much hanging out I can take before I feel my social battery dipping. I generally host a meal at DH and I’s place that I always invite ILs to, and MIL will sit it out because “who’s going to care for the dogs” and send just FIL in her stead. So my social battery is already dipped into, add that to DH and my birthdays being a week-ish apart in a big holiday month, having other social things going on in our lives because we have full lives outside of each other and our families.
Anyway, the latest in this long line of holidays MIL cares deeply about has been Bastille Day. We are not French. MIL does not have French ancestry. She’s just an obnoxious Francophile. It is bizarre. Sibling-in-law 1 who is the youngest is helping her plan it, and is inviting their friends. Sibling-in-law 2 is flying in from another state. And this…. just so happens to be right around my mother’s birthday.
My mother lives in another country and I can’t visit her right now, so we are not going to visit her this year. But that will change and we will go soon. I am studying for a professional exam and loosely suggested I may not make it to the Bastille Day celebration. MIL just about lost her mind. Tried very hard to coax me to coming “just for a little bit”. I cannot wait to see what unfolds when DH and I eventually tell her (maybe next year) we are not going to her damn celebration.
🙃🙃
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Other posts from /u/nothoughtzonlyvibez:
MIL wants to be catered to CONSTANTLY, 1 week ago
Every time I think I can live with the person she is, she proves me wrong, 3 weeks ago
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It’s a very obvious power-play to send FIL alone to yours but demand attendance for random holidays you’d otherwise not celebrate. Its ok to decline her invitation and let her throw a fit about it without responding. She needs to learn to manage her own feelings and expectations.