grab your snacks. this is going to be a long one.
back in august of 2023 i offered my MIL to throw my gender reveal. purely bc her daughter had just lost a baby and unsure about when/if she will try again and other daughter is gay. i wanted to give my MIL something she may never have. fast forward we start talking about themes and whatnot. she tells me she wants to have two SIL and SIL gf help. (SIL gf is my first cousin and we have not gotten along) i politely ask if she can do it without said gf because it made me uncomfortable. well folks this is where it goes down hill……….
MIL proceeds to bug me and SO to “work out” the issues rather than staying out of it. my SO asked multiple times for it to be left alone but MIL wouldn’t give it up. things blow up and MIL ends up saying very disrespectful things about me and my side of the family. SO talks to MIL about this but as time goes on things just continue.
MIL complains that my family gets to buy baby items so can she buy the crib at very least? when we accept. MIL throws fit about wanting to be the one to pick out the crib (a bedroom set that wont fit in our small apartment).
next: MIL complains she isnt allowed in delivery room: (me and SO decided no one would be?)
next: MIL complains that we wont let her throw a separate baby shower. ( we traveled 7hrs for the one my mom threw to include everyone?)
next: FIL calls SO when my mom is visiting 2 weeks pp stating MIL is upset my mom got to visit first/whenever she wanted. (we gave my mom and MIL dates when to visit bc i was scheduled induced)
next: family informs me MIL is complaining about she cant come visit due to ME being drama.
and so on and so on.
may/june 2024:
baby is 2 months old and MIL makes another comment. I absolutely lost it. my entire pregnancy was always about her n what she needed or wasn’t getting. i was done. told SO he needed to handle things or i was leaving. he spoke w MIL and things went very bad. she blamed everything on me and him both… and blew up. we cut things off after that.
i know he is part responsible for not handling his family. 100% understood and we have fully worked on this over the last year.
we are going to visit my family soon (MIL lives in the area) and he has been wanting to see if shes ready to fix things. MIL is very stubborn but i know not having her around is hurting him. i dont hate MIL all i wanted was respect and if thats able to be given then theres no issue. people will always have things we dont all agree w but disrespect was next level. i did tell SO no contact wasn’t permanent but talks weren’t helping she needed to see what would happen if she didn’t stop.
recently him and MIL spoke to finally clear air and talk without her blowing up, things went fairly well imo. she claims to understand things and respect boundaries. i told him she needed to talk with me as well for things to be 100% clear. i genuinely just need help with how to go about this.
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