Okay, I (26f) cannot believe I’m writing this.
Last night, my boyfriend (28m) and I were getting very into it. Everything’s going great until we hit that point where I’m, you know… loud. He stops mid-thrust and literally says:
“Who taught you that one?”
I thought he was joking, so I laughed.
He wasn’t.
He got off me and said I’ve never made that sound before and “that kind of moan doesn’t just come out of nowhere.”
I was stunned. I told him maybe I was more relaxed, or maybe it was the tequila, or maybe he was just doing a better job for once.
He said:
“No. That was a trained sound. That was a practiced moan. I know the difference.”
Like he’s some kind of sex vocal coach?
We argued for TWO HOURS because he convinced himself I was imitating someone I’d been sleeping with. I haven’t cheated. Not once. I haven’t even flirted. I’ve literally been constipated for a week, I’m not out here giving pornstar performances.
He’s still upset and said he “needs time to think about what this means for our relationship.”
So… hot take?
If your man thinks your orgasm is a sign of infidelity, maybe he’s not equipped for one in the first place.
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Backup of the post’s body: Okay, I (26f) cannot believe I’m writing this.
Last night, my boyfriend (28m) and I were getting very into it. Everything’s going great until we hit that point where I’m, you know… loud. He stops mid-thrust and literally says:
“Who taught you that one?”
I thought he was joking, so I laughed.
He wasn’t.
He got off me and said I’ve never made that sound before and “that kind of moan doesn’t just come out of nowhere.”
I was stunned. I told him maybe I was more relaxed, or maybe it was the tequila, or maybe he was just doing a better job for once.
He said:
“No. That was a trained sound. That was a practiced moan. I know the difference.”
Like he’s some kind of sex vocal coach?
We argued for TWO HOURS because he convinced himself I was imitating someone I’d been sleeping with. I haven’t cheated. Not once. I haven’t even flirted. I’ve literally been constipated for a week, I’m not out here giving pornstar performances.
He’s still upset and said he “needs time to think about what this means for our relationship.”
So… hot take?
If your man thinks your orgasm is a sign of infidelity, maybe he’s not equipped for one in the first place.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
One word: projection.
No fixing this. Break up.
That’s actual insanity. Where does that thinking even come from?
Could he be cheating? Since he’s such an expert on female moans?
Holy shit girl please please please leave this man. That is SCREAMING insecurity and you deserve better than a guy who thinks you’re cheating because your moan sounds different
Your last sentence basically sums it up. Your bf is not equipped for a mature relationship.
Yikes. He’s either cheating himself or he’s got some deep-seated insecurity. Either way be cautious how you proceed.
My ex was like this. Your boyfriend is not dumb. He knows that you didn’t do anything wrong. He just wants you to be on the defence. It’s called “back-footing.”
My ex would make up ridiculous accusations. He accused me of cheating because I fell asleep wearing noise cancelling headphones. He also accused me of cheating because our bed had an indent in the mattress. All of it was nonsense. It was about control and making me feel like I had to constantly prove I was committed. I stayed 5 years. Please don’t be me.
I don’t feel like it’s normal for someone to outwardly accuse you of cheating all because of a different sound you made? I think he’s been was having suspicions for a while and one small thing like that sent him over the edge.
Had he made any other comments in the past about you possibly cheating?
Idk if you’re not even cheating and he gets intimidated by your moan, sounds like an insecure man.
He’s projecting, just break up with him and get tested.
Tell him to fuck off
Immediate first thoughts are that he’s cheating himself, or he wants to exit the relationship but feels like he needs a reason so he’s starting a fight to justify it
Who teaches moans during sex?
He’s cheating. I’d bet money.
I recently dealt with a guy that accused me of shit like this. benign, innocent actions I thought nothing of brought suspicion and accusations. it won’t stop and being ambushed into defending yourself is exhausting.
Paranoid. Insecure. Jealous. Controlling. Sorry girl, this is break up territory… I dealt with wacko shit like this from a guy for over 3 years and it never went away. Sometimes he’d hide it better but it got craaaazy. Like at the end, his car got broken into like 20 minutes after we got into a fight on the phone. He accused me of getting a another man to break into it and he threatened my life! End it before you get that deep.
I think your man is cheating.
Dump. His. Ass.
This behaviour is concerning, the fact he argued with you about it for 2 hours. He’s created a completely fabricated story in his head over a moan, its just weird!
He could be projecting, he could be crazy, either way, you should get as far away as you possibly can OP 💖
He is either cheating or looking for a reason to break up and blame you. Or both.
Girl.
hahaha he s crazy!!!
I was once in a relationship were I was constantly accused of cheating. Anything could set him off. And I was like you, I’d argue for hours about my innocence. I finally broke free and I’ve never been happier. Don’t do this to yourself for 10 years. Don’t do it for 2 hours. You know you didn’t do anything wrong. Leave and don’t look back.
DTMFA
He’s looking for a reason to justify his actions. Such a dumb reaction and excuse. Is he 12?!
Jesus Christ your bf is a pos and clearly cheating on you.
Omg
Im actually crying at the self own here
Yeah projection or the fact that he is definitely cheating. I would appreciate some new moans so I think honestly he is some type of weirdo I assume and that’s not just my opinion. Either way I would hit the road and hopefully you’re able to Good luck.
LEAVE he’s obviously insecure about his performance
He’s too insecure for a relationship. Stop wasting time with someone who is so insecure.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
Let the trash take itself out…
This is nuts. Does he have mental health issues?
Your ex-boyfriend, right?
You are in an abusive relationship. Your boyfriend is currently controlling and jealous. You should get out before he escalates to physical violence.
Also, cheaters tend to accuse their romantic partners of cheating.
He is trying to give himself a reason to get out of the relationship, leave him, he is trying to make you the villain so he has a story to tell on why he dumped you. Get out!!!
I dated an older man for over 4 years. I was beneath him. I do not lay still. My hands are constantly roaming. I Moaned and he just completely stopped. Then he said in a patronizing tone, “Hun? Aren’t you overdoing it a little bit?”
I just completely went still. Looking up at him in shock. Then I pushed at his chest and told him to get off. He reacted physically in shock. And said, “Over just one comment?”
Like, how did he NOT know that you tell a woman who is showing enjoyment that she is basically being overly dramatic? Nah. That REALLY ruined my libido.
He accused you of cheating, take that seriously because he’s either already a cheater or is on the brink. Those kind of ridiculous accusations only come out of a guilty mind.
“A better job for once” 😆😆😆
I normally am not in the “break up immediately” crowd but this is breakup time.
where else would he have heard a moan like that if not with you? the projection here makes an imax theater look like the Cinématographe
He’s gaslighting you. He’s the cheater.
My babydaddy was like this, even when I was pregnant that idiot thought men were after me at 8months pregnant, I was so disgusted w him and never slept w him AGAIN!
“Doing a better job for once” is a very telling bit.
The correct response in this situation isn’t “Where’d you learn that?”, it’s “Whoa, what did I just do different so I can do it again and from now on!”
I wouldn’t even dream to entertain that conversation to begin with. You don’t like it, just go. Btw, he may very well be cheating himself and probably the other woman made those noises and he felt like you were trying to trap him. Just let him go
🚩
Two hours from a sound you made? That isn’t okay. I agree that it’s either projection or the beginning of gaslighting/abuse. Dump his ass.
He’s cheating. Break up now.
This dude sucks. Dump
My ex asked if I had been cheating bc I had gotten (a lot) better at sex. Not only had I lost a ton of weight but she was my first… I mean as a virgin you should be getting better right? Well not too much bc that’s sus 🙄
Bullshit. I call complete bullshit, and he most definitely is projecting some type of guilt onto you. As a man myself, absolutely nobody would come to such conclusion unless THEY cheated. Projection and bullshit.
Omg he’s ridiculous. What a fucking child
… oh girl… 😅
It’s been said- he’s cheating on you and it’s been happening for a minute because the deception is starting to leak out in the form of projection.
He is definitely cheating on you, this is classic weird ass projection.
Well good news: He won’t get to hear it anymore for projecting that he’s a giant cheater and is looking to switch the blame.
Don’t accept that. It is abuse and will lead up to violence.
If he’s not already cheating and projecting, he’s wildly insecure, immature, and an idiot. All good reasons to find a grown ass adult with an iq larger than his shoe size to date over this weirdness…. that won’t be the last weirdness. Change your hair, who’s that for? Change your makeup, who’s that for? New outfit… who’s it for? Most things are worth talking through… but you tried that… and he doubled and trippled down. This is who he is. Is this the life you want to live? Constantly defending nothing to his weird ass? How stupid does he have to be to think a ‘new moan’ means you had sex with someone else? That’s not how any of it works. Best case scenario, he’s an idiot who’s gonna spend his life upset over things that aren’t actually a thing. More likely, he’s an idiot who’s cheating and thinks he has a solid angle to argue from… he doesn’t. Again, he’s making himself look sus or stupid.
Life’s short. Don’t spend it having stupid fights.
Sooo he probably cheated. Sorry OP that you had to even go through something so ridiculous like that. Also “doing good job for once” 😂
Yeah, this is so out of nowhere. I’m going to say he’s projecting his own infidelity and cheating on you.
And apparently he’s not very intelligent, inventive or creative since he picked the absolute stupidest possible way to accuse you of infidelity, based on your moan???
If I was sure enough that someone cheated, I certainly wouldn’t stand around and argue with them for hours.
Get tested for STDs, because it sounds like he is projecting
There is no fixing this. Make him your ex, and go get tested for STIs.
‘doing a better job… for once’
Yea, you’re not that into him. He needs to move on.
Trained?? WTH!!
Dollars to donuts he fucked around on you and is projecting as a cover to get out of his own guilt.
He’s trying to break up by starting arguments maybe
Make the decision for him.
Wtaf did I just read?
RUN!! This is a huge red flag, I promise you things will not get better in the relationship from here on out, only worse. This is a big sign he is immature and doesn’t trust you for whatever reason. Classical douche bag vibe. Get out now before you get too deep. The deeper you go the harder it is to leave. I know from experience.
This reads as AI, especially that last bit..word for word same language as a post yesterday “hot take?…”
Jfc. I had one do something similar. Said I was the loudest I’d ever been and somehow equated it to me thinking about my ex as in my daughters father who I haven’t been with in 18 YEARS.
Funnily enough there was also tequila involved.
But yeah bizarre af and the only thing I can think of is anytime someone irrationally accuses it’s generally a projection.
Does this moron think you teach people how to moan during sex?
He’s probably cheating on you
LOL. I have a loud moan that only a few guys have heard bc that’s who caused it. Most don’t bring that out of me.
Your dude is a Lil bish. Just let him go.
I find this funny cause my moans are never the same 😂😂 depends on how he doing and how long it’s been since the last time 😂😂
Projection. He cheated/is cheating
Updateme
yet another post ending with “hot take?” and a quip talking about why what happened was wrong. whoever is posting this is seriously diluting the quality of content in this subreddit and it sucks.
“Maybe he was just doing a better job for once” < Is this reminding anyone else of that Desperate Housewives episode where Orson gives Bree her first real climax?
OP, if he’s never made you moan this passionately and accused you of cheating instead of enjoying it, leave his sorry insecure (and possibly guilt ridden from his own cheating) ass!
It sounds like he doesn’t trust you. Time to trade up.
Just from experience, sounds like he’s telling on himself! And he’s cheated on you or is! I could be reaching, but this is ridiculous
It’s called projecting, dear, his other girl probably sounds different
“…or maybe he was just doing a better job for once.”
It’s a slow day at work today and I just read this 👆🏼 Thanks OP. I needed the laugh 😂
The beautiful thing about being in your 20s like that is that you have all the options in the world still. You don’t have to tolerate anything. There is absolutely no reason to hang on to a guy accusing you of cheating. Toss him aside, there’s better out there and they ain’t even hard to get.
Girl, you still have time to fix this. It’s a Sunday. Take some metamucil! You will feel the effects hopefully this evening.
If he’s going to accuse you of cheating because of the sounds of your moans, it sounds like projection
dump him
Ex-bf, yes?
Whenever you see something like this, where the partner is behaving way of character, being super irrational and jumps several sharks to land on infidelity —- it’s because they are cheating.
If it’s not out of character it can be insecurity instead of (or as well as) cheating.
But I bet you cash money your boyfriend is having sex with someone else.
Trained sound lol lol. I don’t know your BF but there are smarter men.
I guess you sounded like his other lover for a second and it threw him off.
All that aside, break up because he’s ridiculously stupid.
I’m going to keep it simple. Your bf is an idiot. Walk away from this bullshit.
That sounds exactly like a guilty conscience to me.
He’s cheating!
OP, you were 100% wrong to argue with him. Instead you should have agreed with him, smiled your ass off and walked TF out of his life forever!
DO NOT stay with him. He is cheating on you. If he knows “moans” like that, he’s either watching too much porn or seeing a hooker!
STOP arguing with dickheads!
Here’s my take on our relationship.. WE’RE DONE! He wouldn’t see that one coming! 😂
He’s fucking someone else guarenteeeeed
He’s projecting.
Please leave this douchebag
“or maybe he was just doing a better job for once” 💀
Once he accuses you of cheating there’s no turning back. The trust is broken. He’s probably projecting and he’s the one doing the cheating. Or he’s trying to find an excuse to break up with you and playing the victim. This the beginning of the end. It’s up to you how long you’re willing to put up with his bullshit. Plan your exit and stay safe🤗
And of course its AI:
A functional relationship is impossible with this much insecurity. This will be your life if you stay.
I’d take this as a blessing and ditch this loser
He has definitely cheated. He’s also a walking flag so send that man child on his way!
Men really need to stop watching porn.
What. The fuck… 🙄 what an insecure little man.
I’d bet money your bf is engaging with “manosphere” content. They’re learning so much hatred and mistrust for women that they can’t even enjoy sex any more.
OP I hope you mean “ex-boyfriend” because there is absolutely no way that you should even be considering continuing this relationship. The fact that you even entertained this argument for any amount of time is unbelievable. You are not fixing this man and he is not going to change.
He’s cheating. Classic. Now he will blame his cheating on you who “cheated first” and he has to “cheat back”. Gaslighting and bullshit. It’s a big 🚩.
Sounds like he’s projecting, he’s the one cheating
I’ve been married and divorced 3x. Each husband cheated. Each husband constantly accused me of cheating, wanting to cheat, flirting, blah, blah, blah.
Your boyfriend is a paranoid, insecure, emotionally insecure arsehole. What he’s doing is emotional domestic abuse. This behaviour will only get worse. Dump his pathetic ass, move on, and be happy. Hope you find someone who actually loves and respects you in the future.
projecting 100%🚩
Have him explain why he knows that.
(also he’s insane.)
I found my ex cheaten with his wife. He told me the viagra was to keep me coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It sounds like he might be projecting. Is he cheating?
He cheated, recently.
He was able to stop mid-thrust because you sounded like his affair partner for a second. To shake off the shock, he then decided to blame you for cheating.
My ex was like this. Once he accused me of saying another (specific) man’s name during sex. I was utterly bewildered. Not only was I not remotely attracted to said man, I found him repulsive. We went round and round on this. In his mind, his suspicions were facts.
Turns out–big shock!–while I was 100% faithful, he was not. Projection, much?
I stayed eleven years and three kids. Oy. Don’t be me.
Joseph Stalin called. He thinks there are too many red flags here.
I think he should become your crazy EX
Imagine him telling people why they broke up. “She cheated” “oh how did you catch her?” “She moaned differently” 🙄 give me a break
Can we stop saying shit like “youre doing a better job for once” sex is a thing where two people get involved. Its not his job to fuck you better.
Other then that, its a really odd reaction to think your moan is trained.