I feel like im going crazy here and that im beating a dead horse but im just so hurt and conflicted.
So this past week my bf has been obsessed w be coming Snapchat famous and originally I fully trusted him, we have been together for 5 and a half years we have really built a life together. We have an apartment, 2 cats and full time jobs.
He came to me yesterday telling me that he had all these girls hitting him up on snap now and how he was talking to them, from the looks of it, it was all pretty innocent. Mostly small talk. But there was just SO MANY girls!
I was initially upset, I left for work crying bc i just didnt like the idea of him entertaining other girls it made me feel very insecure. And he has never done anything like this before which is why i also feel like its hitting me super hard.
Abt an hr after I started work I calmed down and I texted him something among the lines of “hey ive calmed down and I just want to say, i dont mind u making content and gaining a following im just uncomfortable with u having girls in ur dms”
He left me on delivered, but 10 minutes later posts on his story again. I lost my shit. I tried calling him, texting him, radio silence. I cried my entire shift at work. Wanna know what he was doing? Getting drunk with his buds
I work at a bar and I was closing, an average closing shift u leave at around 1:30 am. He didnt call me till like 1:10 after 6-7 hrs of ignoring me. I cant even express what I was feeling in that moment. So we got into it really bad once i got home and he called me a bitch for dragging it out so much.
I screamed at him (this is my first time actually raising my voice during this entire time) i told him how dare he call me a bitch when he had other girls in his dms and ignored me for the whole day, i stormed into the room and told him not to come to bed and slammed the door.
I started hysterically crying, like scream crying. Ive never felt so disrespected in my life. He came in later saying he had made some dinner and wanted me to eat, so I came out and ate and he thinks that im getting over it, but he is passed out on the couch and im writing this at 5 am bc i cant sleep and i still can’t stop crying.
Idk what to do, please help!!! And yes he has deleted all of the girls already but him ignoring me and not checking in on me really hurt, then him calling me a bitch… It wont stop ringing in my ears.
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Backup of the post’s body: I feel like im going crazy here and that im beating a dead horse but im just so hurt and conflicted.
So this past week my bf has been obsessed w be coming Snapchat famous and originally I fully trusted him, we have been together for 5 and a half years we have really built a life together. We have an apartment, 2 cats and full time jobs.
He came to me yesterday telling me that he had all these girls hitting him up on snap now and how he was talking to them, from the looks of it, it was all pretty innocent. Mostly small talk. But there was just SO MANY girls!
I was initially upset, I left for work crying bc i just didnt like the idea of him entertaining other girls it made me feel very insecure. And he has never done anything like this before which is why i also feel like its hitting me super hard.
Abt an hr after I started work I calmed down and I texted him something among the lines of “hey ive calmed down and I just want to say, i dont mind u making content and gaining a following im just uncomfortable with u having girls in ur dms”
He left me on delivered, but 10 minutes later posts on his story again. I lost my shit. I tried calling him, texting him, radio silence. I cried my entire shift at work. Wanna know what he was doing? Getting drunk with his buds
I work at a bar and I was closing, an average closing shift u leave at around 1:30 am. He didnt call me till like 1:10 after 6-7 hrs of ignoring me. I cant even express what I was feeling in that moment. So we got into it really bad once i got home and he called me a bitch for dragging it out so much.
I screamed at him (this is my first time actually raising my voice during this entire time) i told him how dare he call me a bitch when he had other girls in his dms and ignored me for the whole day, i stormed into the room and told him not to come to bed and slammed the door.
I started hysterically crying, like scream crying. Ive never felt so disrespected in my life. He came in later saying he had made some dinner and wanted me to eat, so I came out and ate and he thinks that im getting over it, but he is passed out on the couch and im writing this at 5 am bc i cant sleep and i still can’t stop crying.
Idk what to do, please help!!! And yes he has deleted all of the girls already but him ignoring me and not checking in on me really hurt, then him calling me a bitch… It wont stop ringing in my ears.
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Why should you get over it?
You know that calling you a bitch is unacceptable and you both need a sit down talk about how you feel disrespected. I do think there was minor overreaction on your part in places but thr circumstances were not great.
It’s good he’s deleted the girls but did he do because you asked him to or because he realised it wasn’t right?
Leave him
It’s sad what shit we’ll try to put up with as teenage girls. Expect better for yourself and leave him. You’ll thank yourself later.
You’ve been with the same guy since you were 14. People often outgrow their high school sweetheart. It sounds like you’re becoming more mature and he isn’t. Expand your horizons. There’s more out there than what high school had to offer you. Often times the first one isn’t your soulmate, they’re just an important lesson you learn.
No point in trying to change or control a man. And you obviously don’t like it so just dump him. There are plenty of other fish in the sea.
He’s not the person you thought he was. Let him have his dM’s and get better your life and love yourself!
Some of us seem not to be able to leave someone even when the relationship and/or partner is trash. It’s okay to leave him. Otherwise, here is what is going to happen, he’s going to say he’ll stop and he won’t – then you’ll find out again in a few months that he didn’t. Then he’ll tell you he’ll stop and then you’ll find out again that he didn’t. Rinse and repeat.
It just sounds like an excuse to talk to a bunch of people. No one is “snapchat famous”. Especially in 2025.
If it’s about photography, (longshot) he’s old enough he should be making a portfolio, not a snapchat. Snapchat isnt for anything but chatting.
Why does him having innocent conversations with other women make you so insecure?
I would break up… what was his goal in telling you?? Making you jealous or does he enjoy seeing you being uncomfortable
So you are both really young and need to try to talk it out if you want to or break up if you want to.
Aside from the DMs, I would be concerned on focusing on Snapchat famous focus and the drinking.
What are you both trying to do for the future? Are you seeing the same visions? Are you investing in yourself or just living and partying? Is there a drift in your values?
Calm down. Welcome to adulthood.
If you decide that you want to be with him, drop everything because there is nothing more annoying than whining and showing how absurdly hurt you are. Ask for sympathy from us, from family, but not from him.
That said, you guys are very young, and he might be getting a bit frustrated. That does not mean that he does not love you.
He prepared food, and deleted the contacts, both good signs.
So you already knew before you went to work but decided to check again. Then you cried while working and got upset because he wouldn’t reply. If I was your boss, you’d be unemployed by now. Grow up and move on.
called you “bitch”, i’m not an expert but i’m sure that’s not a word lovers use with each other unless it’s a toxic relationship, i’m sure 5 years is too much to want to pour everything down the drain, my understanding is relationships only exist if your partner values and respects your presence, you have every upper hand to be angry and hurt girl, if he doesn’t realize his actions and plays dumb to your hurt feelings then you have to have your self respect and put yourself first
Why are you making yourself get over it? There’s no rule that says you have to accept being uncomfortable or disrespected. Would you tell a girlfriend or a sister to just get over it? If I came to you with this, even as a stranger, would you tell me to get over it?
Whoever is telling you to get over it stands to gain the most from you staying “in your place”.
That’s really disrespectful. I personally would drop my fiancé if he EVER raised his voice at me or called me names. We both set standards in our relationship. It seems like you need to think about what you want in your relationship. If you want to make it work, set boundaries. Be willing to stay true to your word that if he ever speaks to you like that again, you will be done. If he ever takes his talking to flirting, you will be done. If he can’t use his words and communicate that he’s upset too, you will be done. You decide what you put up with and how you are treated. If this is really something you can’t deal with, walk away. I promise you that there will be someone who would never put you second or treat you less than what you deserve.
You should not be upset.
👉🏼 You should be gone.
Seems like all the other people addicted to social media he needs clicks and validation. If you are his girl he should be willing to turn his back on that. If the shoe was on the other foot I am sure he would want you to do the same. As long as your not constantly calling him if he ignores you like that then he is wrong as well for calling you a bitch. My advice is to leave him. Your 19, young and got your whole life ahead of you. You do not need someone like that dragging you down. Get on your grind get your education and God willing when your in your mid twenties you will find a God fearing man and get married.
You’re trying to make it work, but he clearly doesn’t care… Just leave him. Personally, once he shows a lot of disrespect for you and your feelings, its over. You can try to make it work, but I doubt it wont repeat itself with the careless act he just showed.
You now know who he really is, and it’s time to go.
The only thing you should get over is your boyfriend.
You’ve been together since you were literal children, you’ve grown apart. He wants to entertain other women, he probably feels like he’s “missing out” on his young wild days and is trying to have them while still having the security of having you as his girlfriend.
I know it feels hard right now, but trust me you’ll feel so must better without him. You deserve to be respected by your partner, and he is being disrespectful in so many ways.
C’mon now. Is it really worth it? You’ve been with him since you were a child, and you’re very young. Find yourself an honorable and respectful young man
Wasn’t this same story posted on another sub in like 2017?
that’s ridiculous- let him and leave him
He is ready to move on and you have become an inconvenience and an annoyance. Why can’t he do what he wants as long as he says words to you later? He said words so… you should be cool now, right?!?
You are so young and girl, this ain’t it
Get rid of that bum because if you have a Snapchat that’s trouble right there because all the messages could be deleted right away and you would never know what he’s even saying that I’m girls he might’ve deleted them for the time being but believe me they’ll be back on there again get rid of this asshole and find somebody that respects you for who you are and treat you good good luck, sweetie
There’s other fish in the sea. Don’t stay with an absolute cod.
Your jealousy got triggered and you’re not over it after a whole day? Time for crisis inpatient care.
But seriously, no time has passed, no HEARTS-style attachment maintenance has been done. No duh you’re not over it. Slow down and focus on self care and think about what you need from him to repair the betrayal. schedule a time to have a thorough conflict management and resolution discussion where you explain your feelings to him and what actions of repair he needs to take to gain your trust back and repair your connection. no more yelling, no more spiraling out, and absolutely no more trying to resolve conflicts via texting.
You can be hurt, but not conflicted. Is this what you want for your life? Leave him if you want peace and happiness.
Big sister advice: It’s a him problem and not a you problem. He’s insecure and has some unresolved deep issues. He is seeking validation from different other women and it seems like he is using this to boost his ego. This is emotional cheating. He should be investing his time energy and everything on you and the life you both have built. Calling you names is unacceptable.
There’s a movie called The Life List they ask the following questions:
Is he kind?
Can you tell him everything in your heart?
Does he help you become the best version of yourself?
Can you imagine having a family together?
How would you answer these questions right now?
I was in a similar situation minus him the being my high school sweetheart. I knew my ex from high school. He was messaging 3 other girls talking about being intimate and what they would do to each other. Among other topics. I asked him to stop but he added another girl. He was an emotional mess and he was angry at me for nothing. He called me names. He ignored me and gaslit me for feeling like crap all because of his toxic behavior. He was mean to me. One time I told him I was working a night shift but I actually switched to the next day shift..I got some new clothes got my hair done and showed up at a dance we wanted to go to. He said he was going to catch up with his friends. I showed up and he was dancing with someone else. So I broke up with him and he put his hands on me a guy friend had to help me get away from him.
You need to go out and live life you are still young! Life is too short to be miserable, crying and wondering why you aren’t good enough. You are good enough and you deserve to be happy treated like you deserve plus so much more! Stop crossing oceans for someone who wouldn’t cross a puddle for you.
Don’t get over it. He’s not your person. Your relationship started when you were so young. Maybe it’s run its course.
Seriously, he’s not worth it
grown man trying to be snapchat famous lol
i hate to say this but the first chance he’s had other options than you he showed you how little he cared about you. he went from the guy you knew to feeling hollywood in a split second. this is all you need. there’s no going back. even if he deletes snap, once married, the first woman besides you who gives him attention he’s jumping to. he has a taste for the attention and he loves it.
Yeah I’d leave girl, he wants to entertain other women, let him, but not with you around
It sounds like you’re not happy with your relationship. When this happens, you’re supposed to break up. Do that and you will immediately feel better. Do that and boy will either fade away or he will demonstrably change his act. He will continue to pursue you, showing you how he has changed, and screaming “I love you!” from the rooftops! If you like, you can have him back eventually. Breaking up early saves you both the trauma of lies and guilt and eventual trickling to the inevitable break up. Don’t try so hard keeping it going with bad dudes!
Either talk or therapy it out… or leave
Idk how u can even get snap famous lmao
But it seems hes only got GIRLS in DMs and not BOYS. I wonder WHYYY
You’re 19 and you work in a bar until after 1 am? And you’ve been with him since he’s 13 or 14. And he passed out on the couch instead of trying to work out the problem, which is his immature need to be Snapchat famous (a useless preoccupation).
I think it’s time to move on. Take the cats and move or tell him to move. He’s immature and not trustworthy. You’re like the frog in the pot of water sitting over a fire. At first, the water is fine but pretty soon, the frog is going to be in trouble.
You’re still a child, especially from the way you behaved and acted. Break up, learn not to be so jealous, and go find you an ugly man to date