I (28M) work in a highly competitive sales career and it is a very stressful career but very rewarding at the same time. Up until recently I’ve always said how blessed I am to have met the people this career has brought into my life. We work 6 days & 60 hour weeks together. the first 3 years were absolutely incredible years with these friends of mine. However.. Last Friday, Miranda (28F), Josh (28M), & Harper (28F) and I went to an event together after work. I had registered for the event later and was unfortunately seated behind them 3. Miranda made an effort to try to keep me included in conversations which was appreciated. However, once the event ended and we were walking out together, Miranda, Josh, & Harper all left my side and Harper took a picture with them without me included. They then saw me and told me to get in for a picture. I leave the event to see the picture of them three posted on Harper’s story not the one of us four. I saw the one of us four after it was taken and we all agreed we liked the photo..
Harper organized this event and I can’t help but feel with this event and others that have occurred this year that these aren’t my friends and more so are fake nice to me. My partner and I have noticed that since finishing the year of 2024 at the top in sales for my office and top 20 for the country, Josh and Harper have been treating me different.
Advice would be helpful on what to do. These are my coworkers at the end of the day and I don’t want there to be conflict. I will provide more context below.
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Backup of the post’s body: I (28M) work in a highly competitive sales career and it is a very stressful career but very rewarding at the same time. Up until recently I’ve always said how blessed I am to have met the people this career has brought into my life. We work 6 days & 60 hour weeks together. the first 3 years were absolutely incredible years with these friends of mine. However.. Last Friday, Miranda (28F), Josh (28M), & Harper (28F) and I went to an event together after work. I had registered for the event later and was unfortunately seated behind them 3. Miranda made an effort to try to keep me included in conversations which was appreciated. However, once the event ended and we were walking out together, Miranda, Josh, & Harper all left my side and Harper took a picture with them without me included. They then saw me and told me to get in for a picture. I leave the event to see the picture of them three posted on Harper’s story not the one of us four. I saw the one of us four after it was taken and we all agreed we liked the photo..
Harper organized this event and I can’t help but feel with this event and others that have occurred this year that these aren’t my friends and more so are fake nice to me. My partner and I have noticed that since finishing the year of 2024 at the top in sales for my office and top 20 for the country, Josh and Harper have been treating me different.
Advice would be helpful on what to do. These are my coworkers at the end of the day and I don’t want there to be conflict. I will provide more context below.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
More context:
Josh never congratulated me on my successes, didn’t wish me happy birthday, and disrespected me recently by not attending an event where I was presenting when I in this past have attended that same event when he was presenting. Josh also admitted to my friend Liam that he is envy of my success and also believes my success is luck. Harper has done a better job of being nice to my face but this past Friday it has clicked for me that it is not genuine. Harper and I used to work together on projects and that stopped earlier this year. I figured it was due to us both being successful and wanting to help others but now I am questioning if that was the reasoning on her end.
Honestly, it’s a headache just to type this out as I feel like this is so high school but I’ve never dealt with what feels like envy of some sorts. I’ve been nothing but a supportive friend to these three. I went to Miranda to talk to her to see if there was something I did and she said no but did agree it was messed up what happened with regards to me being excluded and Josh not wishing me happy birthday or congratulating me on my awards earlier this year. I helped Josh move into his new apartment at the end of last year. I celebrated Harper on her new home and brought her a welcome gift to her party. I’ve been a good friend to them both and have celebrated both their successes as well throughout this career.
You don’t have friends at work. You have friendly coworkers – if you’re lucky. A subtle but important distinction.
Anyone who says “you don’t have friends at work” is likely a nightmare to work with or be around in general.
It’s important to know that not everyone will be your friend no matter where you meet them. Some people will be two faced and stab you in the back when a chance arises.
But you can absolutely have friends at work. I have many friends from past jobs. Some who flew in from out of state to come to my wedding, some who I still talk to a few times a week in discord and play games with.
Friends and foes can come from anywhere in life. You’re gonna need to learn to navigate that minefield though cause it’s always gonna be a thing.