So for context, my partner and I have been together for 2 years. We moved in together about 6 months in. We have a strong relationship and get along exceptionally well. We both have good jobs and make good money. Neither of us would ever have any reason to steal from each other because we both have our own money saved.
My partner has always kept his cash hidden in the house. To my knowledge it’s never a lot, probably between 1-2k. Last weekend we had friends over and most of us were in a room across from our bedroom. My boyfriend went into the room and I came in shortly after to grab a sweat shirt and he asked me to leave so he could grab cash. Our friends overheard and asked me why he wasn’t able to do that with me in the room. I shrugged and said he never wanted me to know where he kept it and they said that was weird. When he returned they asked why he was worried about me knowing where it was, and he told them he never wanted anyone to know where he kept his money. A couple days ago I was with one of our friends and she brought it up again and said that it was weird that after 2 years he didn’t trust me enough to know I wouldn’t steal from him. I never really cared about it since I never needed to really know where he kept it. It isn’t mine and I would never take from it. But with that being said, he knows where all of my valuables and cash is and I’ve never worried about it because I trust him with my whole heart.
It’s worth noting too that I know all of his financial information. I work in the industry and have assisted him with financial and retirement planning, so I have a fairly good idea of his assets as a whole, as does he mine. This is how I have a fairly good idea of his cash on hand unless he wasn’t truthful to me when he told me.
I went home later that day and asked him why he felt the need to hide it from me. He told me that he never let anyone in his life know where he keeps his money and that would never change. It’s starting to make me feel weird. Like, if we were to get married, he’d trust me to be his life partner, but not to know where he keeps a fairly nominal amount of cash? I feel like everyone is entitled to privacy, but it sort of feels like this is more of a trust thing than a privacy thing. Is this weird or something I should continue to not really worry about?
Edit:
A lot of people are saying that I shouldn’t let our friends reflect how I feel, so it’s worth noting here that this has always bothered me to a degree, but other people saying it sort of validated those feelings to me where as before I felt like it wasn’t a valid feeling, if that at all makes sense. Also, upon asking him, no one has ever stolen from him, so it is not trauma related.
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Backup of the post’s body: So for context, my partner and I have been together for 2 years. We moved in together about 6 months in. We have a strong relationship and get along exceptionally well. We both have good jobs and make good money. Neither of us would ever have any reason to steal from each other because we both have our own money saved.
My partner has always kept his cash hidden in the house. To my knowledge it’s never a lot, probably between 1-2k. Last weekend we had friends over and most of us were in a room across from our bedroom. My boyfriend went into the room and I came in shortly after to grab a sweat shirt and he asked me to leave so he could grab cash. Our friends overheard and asked me why he wasn’t able to do that with me in the room. I shrugged and said he never wanted me to know where he kept it and they said that was weird. When he returned they asked why he was worried about me knowing where it was, and he told them he never wanted anyone to know where he kept his money. A couple days ago I was with one of our friends and she brought it up again and said that it was weird that after 2 years he didn’t trust me enough to know I wouldn’t steal from him. I never really cared about it since I never needed to really know where he kept it. It isn’t mine and I would never take from it. But with that being said, he knows where all of my valuables and cash is and I’ve never worried about it because I trust him with my whole heart.
It’s worth noting too that I know all of his financial information. I work in the industry and have assisted him with financial and retirement planning, so I have a fairly good idea of his assets as a whole, as does he mine. This is how I have a fairly good idea of his cash on hand unless he wasn’t truthful to me when he told me.
I went home later that day and asked him why he felt the need to hide it from me. He told me that he never let anyone in his life know where he keeps his money and that would never change. It’s starting to make me feel weird. Like, if we were to get married, he’d trust me to be his life partner, but not to know where he keeps a fairly nominal amount of cash? I feel like everyone is entitled to privacy, but it sort of feels like this is more of a trust thing than a privacy thing. Is this weird or something I should continue to not really worry about?
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My first thought is there’s some trauma there.
Someone who he thought he could trust, a parent, sibling or previous partner has helped themselves to his money and since he’s been burnt once he’s being cautious.
I honestly think it’s unusual but not anything to break up over. You should have an honest and open conversation about how it makes you feel.
It’s a little weird. But also not that weird. I hide chocolate and money.
Probably had a sibling stealing from him while living home.
My cat hides it’s favorite toy in our bedroom. Itll walk in with it and if one of us is in there itll just hangout until we leave, then stash it’s toy, behind the headboard. Quirky cat.
it’s a mental security thing probably brought about by experience(s) growing up. If that’s all that’s hidden and you both acknowledge it, accept the little quirk.
This is weird, whenever I get cash I just pass it to the wife!
He’s a headcase Has he got Asperger’s
It’s a quirk. He has an odd insecurity that has nothing to do with you. If all else in the relationship is good, I’d let it go.
It is some level of weird. How weird depends on if someone he trusted has stolen from his stash before or if he is just paranoid.
I think the question I would ask is if you’re married are you going to live one life together? Or, two separate lives? I see people get married and they never share a bank account. To me, that’s weird. So, I would ask him about that and just see what his perspective is and if it aligns with yours. When you get married, to me, it’s “our money.” What I make and the decisions I make with the money I earn, my wife has a vested interest and therefore gets a say.
It’s his quirk. Please note, you didn’t have a problem until your friends unnecessarily decided to make it an issue. You said you know all his financial information, so clearly there is no trust issue. Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.
That’s hella weird and strange. Up to the op if that’s a deal breaker, but if you got married that would be highly sus. Best of luck
I think the weirder part is that he wants you to know that he doesn’t trust you to know that he’s hiding money somewhere. He could just do all that without even letting you know.
As others have said, maybe he has had a parent or sibling help themselves to his money. Maybe he has been in a situation in the past where he had to make a speedy exit and feels he needs to have some cash hidden. Maybe he has lived paycheck to paycheck at some point and likes to have a little safety stash in case he is ever hungry. There are a million things that could cause him to have this little quirk, but honestly if everything else is good in the relationship and everyone is contributing their fair share to the household bills, I would just let it go.
A little, but I think everyone’s got some things that are a little weird. The question is just whether this is a little weird thing you can deal with.
Are you able to have an adult conversation with him about how he feels about it, how it makes you feel, etc.? Or does he get defensive and angry about it? That, to me, would be the big differentiating factor.
If you trust that this is the only financial thing he ‘hides’ from you, I don’t think I’d be worried. It sounds more like he’s gotten burned by someone in the past and this has become his ‘thing’, as opposed to him hiding money from you.
It’s a little weird, but also functionally inconsequential. If you asked him for like, $300, would he give you the cash? That’s more important than if you knew where it was to get yourself, in my opinion.
it’s quite normal id say once youre married the finances a tied together but it makes sense to me and id probably do the same thing seems like he’s not a dick about it or anything
You should have your own stash that he knows nothing about. I’ve seen people turn ugly during a breakup/ divorce. People you would never think would act in an ugly way. It’s a just in case fund.
I don’t think it’s weird at all. What’s weird is telling friends that. Now everyone knows where he hides his security stash.
As far as feeling weird. If you didn’t feel weird before others got involved you shouldn’t feel weird now. They aren’t in a relationship with him you are. I don’t get why people let others influence how they should feel/ act in a relationship.
One of my buddy’s hides money at home. He’s single and lives alone. Hardly has anyone over.
I grew up in a family where we hid money from each other in the house. There was a good reason for this.
Anyone in my family would take my money if they found it, including my own parents. It’s not about you. It is trauma from childhood. I would let it go.
If you get married and he still does this, then you need separate account he can’t touch to hold money in. Not really weird, i do the same (insecurity growing up and family stealing)
He’d probably just get a safe that you wouldn’t have the combination to. Its not that weird. I wouldn’t do it with PhilV, but I would trust him. Some people don’t trust each other. It’s always good to have a backup in an emergency.
I mean, as an example (thats literally nothing I’ve been through, but just positing something to help you understand):
think if you had money stashed away for an emergency fund,
then he knew where it was and also had an emergency, so he grabs it without asking because he has every honest intention of paying it back when he gets paid within just a week or two and he plans to he’s honest so it’s genuinely not him taking from you with ill intent,
but then, two days before he gets paid, you have an emergency, so naturally, you go to your emergency cash fund, but it’s missing…
now, you’re upset because now you can’t cover your emergency, and you bring it up to him, and then there’s a huge fight between you because you don’t know what his intentions were/are… etc.
I don’t steal from people. Ive had plenty of money stolen from me by friends, family, and others, and significant others, all the time. So quite honestly, having a backup that not even your partner knows about, can be a little bit of safety for both of you.
If he gets a safe, he has the code, so if you have an emergency you can go to him in person and explain and he can either go with you to unlock it or give you the code and reset the code after when you arent there. Theres ways to create trust and still protect ourselves.
Of course, people probably think this is stupid of myself to suggest because I only have an associate’s degree which clearly means I’m completely uneducated and below any other person with a higher level degree, or so it’s been made clear to myself. I just must not be intelligent enough to come up with anything on my own without a doctorate, without being in a higher earning bracket, or because I don’t Manipulate people out of their money. I clearly am the dumbest person alive because I have a special needs child who I have very little support with and have to design my schedule around him (which I do happily because I love him), so I must be the idiot while others continue to manipulate my avenues of support and finding a happy relationship with PhilV who could truly just heal me with a hug every day.
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It’s not a problem if you are really partners. I think it’s fine for people to have a “cash stash” or a private checking account as long as they sit down with each other and are transparent and fair about money in general. My former father-in-law had cash everywhere. He often stashed hundreds in hollowed out books. He was an American Jew lived through World War II and wanted assets at hand that weren’t visible to “authorities.”
I always tell young women to have enough cash to get to a safe place in an emergency–hurricane, flood, domestic violence, abandonment. So get your own cash stash and keep it secret! Then the two of you would have plenty of cash in hand during an emergency. In a prolonged power blackout, you can pay cash for nearly everything.
You could ask when his money hiding started and why it happened. I think if he was hiding other financial info, it would be a problem. It could be from trauma, or it could just be a quirk.
I don’t really think it’s too different from having a bank account that only he has access to. In my opinion, unless he’s committing a crime, it’s really none of your business where and how much he’s stashing. I was married for years and never told my husband where and how much money I had. Maybe it’s an age thing. All of the bills were paid, so who cares?
It didn’t bother you until your friends said something, go back to being unbothered. Worry about you and your boyfriend, not what others think.
It definitely sounds like a him thing and not a you thing. It sounds like someone maybe stole from him in the past or something like that. I wouldn’t make a big deal over it if I were you.
I have a personal account that no one has access to but me, including my partner who I love and trust. It’s the same thing in my opinion.
I do the same thing
It’s the greatest thing a man can do in a relationship. It’s for financial stability. Can’t have the wife knowing how much is in the savings because you won’t have one
It’s not weird. Many people who’ve had a rough time in the past behave this way. Rough childhood, missing meals, homelessness, etc. View it as a trauma response. This isn’t about you, or trust issues with you. It’s about his comfort level and an acknowledgement on his part that life can get hard and fast. I have a dear friend who was homeless for a few months in his 20’s. He’s 60 and a multimillionaire today, and he confessed he has thousands of dollars stuffed in envelopes and hidden throughout his house. He adores his wife, they’ve been married for 40 years, and he trusts her. This is rainy day money that he needs to control. Let him be.
Don’t make this about you. This is something he’s done for a long time & is in no way is a reflection of you/your relationship. My parents have been happily married 45 years – have joint accounts & they both squirrel away large amounts of cash randomly. I have a habit of doing this as well. I also pull from this cash for my family when I need to. If you respect your boyfriend you’ll respect this part of him & not make it about you. & your friends need to mind their own business & stop trying to stir up problems within your relationship where there previously weren’t any.
I dated a guy that kept like 10k hidden in his house.
Then, when he was away at work, the area was on notice to potentially evacuate because of wildfires. They were close to his ranch. Moment of panic.
If you’re going to stash cash, a concealed fire-proof safe might be a better option? Then you knowing where it was would be a non-issue, if only he knew the code.
Get him a safe to protect his stash. I bet his family used to take his money.
My mom. She had a rough first marriage where she was financially abused. She hid money because she had to. When she left him and eventually married our dad (adopted, but he is our dad) she still hid money because she was worried. Hes never given her any reason to feel this way and generally entertains her need to feel safe. But we all know when she passes, we will have to go through everything with a fine tooth comb. I once found $1500 in 1and5$ bills wrapped around the paddle in an old butter churn. She’d forgotten it was there and told me to vacuum out the inside. Sadly finders keepers did not apply here 😞
Hes likely had trauma in his past causing this and if its the worst thing he does, its not really that bad in the long run.
I think it’s smart for couples to have their own secret stash of money. You should too. It’s not about one stealing from the other, it’s about personal financial security for the unknown.
I wouodnt worry about it. My husband does the same. He hides it random places. Doesn’t tell me. Sometimes I come across hidden cash when looking for other things. I always hide it another spot.
I know he forgets where he puts it because he’s came to me before telling me he found some cash he must have hid away. Its never much money. At most it’s $50. If someone gives him cash for something he always hides it somewhere in the house. I’ve warned the kids when we die to check everything before throwing it away or selling it.
I’m the same exact way. I had my brother steal money from me when we were kids, since then nobody gets to know where my money is, not even my girlfriend. As soon as I turned 18, I closed all my custodial bank accounts and opened my own in my name. I’d give him the benefit of the doubt
I have friends that are the same as your husband. I have a feeling that the reason has more to do with growing up. Either parents or siblings stole their money. Parents didn’t care about it.
Since then, they NEED to hide their money. Look at it this way: how’d you feel if the people you’re supposed to be able to trust steal your money.
That’s something your BF is going to have a tough time giving up. The only thing that would worry me is if financial stability changes for thethe worse. Would he squirrel away money when you have pressing bills just so he can feel secure?
I am the same as your bf. My mama always told me to have some backup cash that only I could access JICSHTF.
It’s a bit odd. I’d let it slide.
This is about him feeling comfortable and not a reflection of his trust in you. He feels comfortable having cash hidden somewhere that no one knows about. Don’t overthink it and turn something that has nothing to do with you into a personal slight.
Idk why people are telling OP not to make this about her. It’s one thing to have a secret stash of money for an emergency, but generally you keep your secret stash… secret. You don’t tell your long term girlfriend “I keep a lot of money in this room hidden but I’ll never tell you where!” And you especially don’t announce in front of a group of people that you keep cash in that room. At this point you might as well just be open with your partner, because if they really wanted to find it I’m sure they could overturn the room and find it.
I’m all for financially protecting yourself in case of a separation, but hiding your cash stash feels weird and more personal to me. This guy has his accounts to himself in the event of a separation and needing his own money, the only reason to hide your cash stash from your partner is if you think your partner is going to take it.
Why do you need to know? It’s his money and if he feels like he has to hide it so be it.
It’s his money, he can play with it however he wants I guess
It’s a nominal amount of safety cash. Everyone should have a get out plan and fund that is as safe and secret as they want it to be, as long as it affects nothing else. No biggie as long as everything else is shared. Mines a bank account. But ymmv.
If its not HIS trauma its generational trauma. He learned this from someone.
Your friends should mind their own business. Who are they to say you cannot trust your partner because of this. It seems it wasn’t a big deal until they brought it up.
Shut this shit down with your friends and establish boundaries right away or they will think they can run your entire relationship.
No it’s not weird. I squirrel away cash from my husband. It’s from my side gig. Keeping money stashed is a habit I learned from my dad. He was probably raised that way or experienced a theft at some point.
Don’t turn a mole hill into a mountain.
Who cares let him have his little secret. Yeah it’s fucking stupid but if he’s not a problem in other ways don’t blow this up into one because it’s really not right?
If you two have a system that works, I just don’t see any harm in him having a little cash stash. Makes him feel more secure and if you aren’t too fussed about it, it doesn’t seem like an issue.
He would say no one has stolen from him because he hides it. Hiding it isn’t weird, hiding it from you is weird but if you don’t care, who cares. Don’t turn it into a think because of a friend.
I am the same way. Why would I let ANYONE know where I hide my money.
If my partner were hiding money from me like this, I think I’d insist on knowing why. It would bother me too much unless it could be made to make sense to me, even if that required pursuing the point until something gives or breaks. I don’t mean that I’d try to make her give up the secret location, but that I would demand an explanation that I can be at peace with. (Or maybe she’d decide it wasn’t worth keeping secret; or maybe she’d decide she couldn’t live with my insistence, and leave.)
But that’s me. I don’t know that it’s a good idea.
It wouldn’t bother me necessarily. But it would make me think if in a marriage there’d be trust, or if he’d be squirreling away and hiding assets.
It’s not weird
My ex stole from me. I created a second bank account and had money auto-deposited every paycheck. Eventually it paid for the divorce. Even though my now husband is wonderful and I trust him, my squirrel account lives on.
If he grew up poor like me, it will be impossible for him to change his behavior.
It’s one of the downsides of growing up poor.
You save inordinate amounts of money.
You don’t like spending it.
You don’t want other people to know that you have it.
Be gracious with him.
I have to say it would bother me if my partner didn’t want trust me where they keep the money. It doesn’t feel like a full partnership because the person is inherently telling you they don’t trust you.
This is normal though not as common as it was in the pst. No alarm bells here.
You knowing where his money is won’t improve your relationship. But it can break it. So there’s no loss if you accept it.
It’s a little weird, but considering he’s sharing his real finances with you, I wouldn’t worry about it especially since it makes him feel secure.
This dude must be a saint if this is what you’re bringing to reddit. Go ahead and pick a fight over something you don’t actually care about.
He doesn’t want anyone to know where he keeps it. Insulting as it may seem to you, don’t be. The truth is, the easiest way to keep a secret is to tell no one.
If ur making a Reddit post this long might as well be single
My wife would do this, she grew up in a house where her parents and her kid sister would steal her cash.
Yes it’s a little weird but your friends are weirder and nosey.
So let me get this straight—you’re upset because your friends have opinions about what your boyfriend does with his money? Meanwhile, you know every detail of his finances? Feels like you’re picking a fight where there isn’t one.
Also, pro tip: once more than one person knows a secret, it’s no longer a secret. Let this golden retriever of a man keep his little security blanket of cash in peace.
You know it exists and the general vicinity. The question isn’t why he won’t tell you but why do you want to know? Seems suspect to me..
Sounds like a trauma reaction. It might be worth suggesting a small safe instead, one that only he has the code to. Then you can have one, too, and use it for preparing surprises or whatever.
My ex used to hide case. She also his how much she was paid and pretended to be a poor mum, whilst also collecting child payments.
She’s contribute fuck all to bills and food, then I found out she was getting as much money as I was and spending it all on shit.
You’re a girlfriend, not a wife. He shouldn’t have to tell you where the money is if he doesn’t want to.
It really sounds like there’s some trauma in his history. His behavior is weird, illogical, and based on anxiety around scarcity. It’s a red flag that he doesn’t trust you, though- I have some trauma too, but I trust my wife so she doesn’t trigger it like anyone else would.
The day I moved into my new apartment, I put $1800 in cash (my whole rent) in an envelope on the table. Three people helped me move in: my mother, my father, and my best friend since elementary school. The cash disappeared. Which of them took it? I have a good idea my friend did it (we no longer talk), but I will never know for certain. Since then, my money never leaves my person, and I don’t let other people hold or see it. This experience not only set me back a fair bit and made my life uncomfortable, but it has wrecked my trust in people.
It’s not a problem you should get involved in. It’s not about you, just let him do what he likes and hide it where it is. My own girlfriend knows about money I have, she doesn’t know where it all is, it doesn’t bother her in the slightest. It’s not about distrust but more that he probably likes having it in a safe space where only he knows where it is. Everyone does it, whether it be special food, makeup, money, games, everyone likes to keep something somewhere.
Secrets are fine in a relationship, you dont need to know EVERYTHING about him. You don’t message him, hey I just put lipstick on, guess what I bought from the shop, guess what I ate today. If its not something physically or mentally affecting you just let it go. You also don’t have to have common ground on everything (Unlike what social media says) It’s fine to agree to disagree on things. It’s 1-2k, he’s not hiding a life changing amount of money from you, just money he probably enjoys personally using and is worried it’s gonna get roped into bills and other things.
You’re completely overblowing it.
Edit: Also please for the love of god stop taking advice and shit from friends. What’s next, “Hey, your boyfriend drank a little too much tonight”, then come to reddit, “Is it weird my boyfriend drank too much with my friends around?”. NO, prioritise your boyfriend and his feelings, don’t make him feel disrespected or undermined just because someone thought something was weird
It might just be how he is.
I can understand how you might feel a lack of closeness, or feeling like you have been told you are untrustworthy.
I wouldn’t listen to your friends, but take some time to see if it really bothers you. Maybe he isn’t the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Maybe it’s just one small thing that you can ignore.
I can understand him hiding his money, but him asking you to leave so he could get the money would be a dealbreaker. He could have just pretended to do something else for a minute rather than humiliating you.
Are his parents holocaust survivors or something similar where generations before him hid money to survive? Cause I have A LOT of friends who are 2nd or 3rd generation who do this and for them it’s just habit but when I’ve questioned them it always goes back to that. Once my ex and I were moving in together and we were packing and every 15 minutes or so she’d find another hundred dollars in tips she’d hidden
It’s just squirrelling , most mothers and grandmother’s would tell their married daughters to get jewelry as gifts from husband because you can sell or pawn it for fast cash if you need to leave or an emergency. I wouldn’t care tbh, I suspect he assumes you have a emergency plan too. I’d suggest you look into prepping, you can understand the anxiety behind it. You need a bug out bag at least, when shit hits the fan or a natural disaster . A rucksack of 2 weeks of food and water is life saving. It’s not about trust, it’s his emergency fund. He trusts you with all of his finances, except this emergency fund. He doesn’t trust anyone with that, even the pope. It’s not negotiable, it’s not an insult to you. It’s just that money is nobodies but his. You know he trusts you, just thos is a boundary. You can deal with it or leave him, if you try to force him to hand it over, you have proven you aren’t a worthy wife. I know I contradicted myself, but you can see what I mean. He trusts you with everything except this non negotiable that he trusts zero persons with. You could ruin him tomorrow for 100x what he’s got in his emergency fund. He does trust you. It’s just this is off limits.
It is his money and he can do whatever he wants with it
Not really, I had a “gym bag” in the car with 2 changes of clothes that were not workout clothes and some cash stash in the seems of the bag…. I had it hidden in the house when I wasn’t using the car….lol it was just in case situation that after so 20 something years later I didn’t have to use it but I still have it…. weird but not break up weird
I agree with everyone saying it’s a quirk and there might be something behind it, like a hurt or a fear. We’re odd creatures, us human beans.
I’d probably be more worried if he wouldn’t lend you cash if you were in need. That’s not me saying, “do a boyfriend test!” It’s just saying, I think he has your back in all regards. Let him have this security blanket. Start hiding your own cash around the home, one up him. Two grand!?! That’s for suckers! (I’m mostly bring facetious here.)
I think you just let it go. Chalk it up to people being weird. The only two options are there is trauma there or he’s got a significant positive inflow of cash. Don’t worry about it until you have to…
I’m the same way (except my husband knows where I keep my stash). I’ve been stolen from SO. MANY. TIMES. I was an addict for many years and I’d hate to think of how many times money, drugs, jewelry, fucking makeup and clothes just “disappeared” when some POS thief was in my house. I have one friend who visits my area 2-3 times a year. My mom comes up a few times a year. My uncle and grandma will stop by. Aside from my clients in my work area, NO ONE else comes into our house. It simply isn’t worth the risk and people feel entirely too entitled to “help themselves” if someone else has/has more of what they want. We can meet up somewhere else.
Ha ha. I hide money from my wife. Have for years. Only because this money is for a rainy day when my bank account don’t work or ATM’s are down etcetera.
We have a much different view on the difference between needs and wants and don’t handle money very well.
If she knew there was let’s say 4-5000 dollars laying around she would ocd about spending it and she knows it and have come to accept it.
He’s just a silly lil guy who hides his treasure
It’s his practice, whatever the reason. It is weird, but projected distrust always worries me. I would personally let him have his hidden cash stash in peace, but continue to pay attention going forward. Maybe you can create your own as well, and hide it, since he feels the need is important. He seems to have an element of pride in doing so since you don’t usually let outsiders know you have a hidden stash of cash in your house. That’s not typically something you share at a party. JS✌🏽
Honestly, it’s not your money. He can hide it if he chooses. I understand this may feel like he doesn’t trust you, but the point is moot. I would never give my financial information to a boyfriend. There is no world in which I would ever share my password or pin. Hiding cash is really no different.
Is he worried you will tell someone else where it is hidden? Have you discussed private business with others in the past?
If it’s not a lot why does it matter? If he kept it hidden at home or in bank account you can’t access, same idea you can’t see it touch it sooo….
It doesn’t have to be trauma related, could simply be that’s what his done since forever and thats it
It’s his money and has nothing to do with his partner. It wasn’t an issue until her friend’s decided it was.
Leave him be. He will have his reasons and won’t like being forced to discuss them if he is not ready to.
Nope. It’s no one’s business but his, ultimately. If you were married that’s a different story. It’s not necessarily “omg can’t let her rob me!” but more likely that if only he knows the location he doesn’t have to worry about anyone else knowing the location. Tell your friends to mind their own business and stop causing problems lol