I am 36M and am married to my 34F wife. I have a female friend who I’ve known since we were 10 years old. We never had anything more than a platonic relationship and she is also happily married for the past 5 years. My wife has met her multiple times and gets along great with her.
Last month, my friend and I met for lunch. Our wives couldn’t join because they were travelling/had other things to do. We’ve met before for lunch just the 2 of us so it was no big deal. While we were paying, the waitress said “You guys make a really cute couple btw”. We thought it was hilarious and quickly clarified that we are just friends.
I didn’t tell my wife about it because it slipped my mind and wasn’t that important to me. Now this past weekend, my friend and her wife visited us. My friend brought it up as a funny story. Her wife thought it was hilarious. My wife laughed at the time but after they left, she gave me a lot of shit asking why I hid it from her and that she hated that someone thought we were a couple. I said I didn’t think it was important and she said she needs me to tell her these things and will be uncomfortable with me going out with my friend alone. She said she trusts me but hates that my friend and I get perceived as a couple.
Am I the asshole for not telling her?
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I am 36M and am married to my 34F wife. I have a female friend who I’ve known since we were 10 years old. We never had anything more than a platonic relationship and she is also happily married for the past 5 years. My wife has met her multiple times and gets along great with her.
Last month, my friend and I met for lunch. Our wives couldn’t join because they were travelling/had other things to do. We’ve met before for lunch just the 2 of us so it was no big deal. While we were paying, the waitress said “You guys make a really cute couple btw”. We thought it was hilarious and quickly clarified that we are just friends.
I didn’t tell my wife about it because it slipped my mind and wasn’t that important to me. Now this past weekend, my friend and her wife visited us. My friend brought it up as a funny story. Her wife thought it was hilarious. My wife laughed at the time but after they left, she gave me a lot of shit asking why I hid it from her and that she hated that someone thought we were a couple. I said I didn’t think it was important and she said she needs me to tell her these things and will be uncomfortable with me going out with my friend alone. She said she trusts me but hates that my friend and I get perceived as a couple.
Am I the asshole for not telling her?
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OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> Didn’t tell my wife that a waitress thought my friend and I are a couple..she says i hid it from her
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Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.
….really?? Smh. Respectfully your wife needs to get a grip NTA
It wasn’t significant. This happens to me when I go out with my sister. You simply can’t control how others with perceive you, but it doesn’t matter because it has no bearing to reality. NTA.
This sonds like an excuse. Your wife has been uncomfortable about your friendship and found a “reason” to justify her suspicion.
NTA who cares
NTA. People assume every M-F pair is a couple, I swear. I have mostly male coworkers, and frequently end up on site for a long enough period of time that I take different ones to the same restaurant. We joke that I must leave gossip in my wake for some of these places.
Nta
I don’t think so. At the end of the day, this just sounds like her own insecurities being projected out to you. Would there be a difference if your friend was male and you two men got seen as a couple? What about you going to lunch with a female family member? 🤷🏻♂️
How insecure is your wife? Damn. NTA
NTA. Ppl are going to make this assumption a lot when two opposite sex individuals are having a meal together. It’s clearly ridiculous, That’s on them.
NTA, you forgot. It was from what I am reading a lighthearted observation from someone at the restaurant. I understand your wife is feeling insecure about this since you should have said something. I my opinion there are other things to worry about besides an innocent remark.
Im going to say YTA.
Did you wonder WHY you didn’t tell your wife? Apologise, mean it sincerely, and work out how to treat her with more respect. It doesn’t matter that your friend is gay or straight or even if your friend was another man. Your wife has insecurities from hearing this and you need to recognize and work with her going forward.
NTA, your wife is being ridiculous.