Physically hit for discipline my father get beat by his father and his grandmother a lot when he was a kid. He hit me once in my life cuz I got caught smoking but I understand that case.
My “child” (now 18) has been spanked exactly once in her life, and it was my wife that did it. (Toddler was reaching for the hot stove.) My dad used to very literally kick our asses, like boot to the butt.
He did that right up until the day in my early teens when I refused to “turn around” for my punishment. I looked him right in the eye and said “no”. We were almost the same size by then and I think he realized that wasn’t a fight he wouldn’t have won.
Apathy. Just couldn’t care less about having relations with his children. Emotionally unavailable. No desire for connection whatsoever. Likely as a result of choosing a woman that is emotionally unstable and causing constant heightened emotional turmoil in the household.
I don’t know if it counts as trauma, but I remember learning that my grandfather was kinda racist, and being confused about it because my father taught me (mostly by example) to treat everyone equally.
Well, my grandparents left him alone with his brothers because they worked a lot, they didn’t support him when he started studying so that he could help with work and the house (in those times they didn’t see studying as very useful, plus my grandparents were businessmen and they did well so they didn’t want to).
He is a great father, he always supports us in everything and makes us want to be better people ❤️🩹
Nah, it ends with me, not my dad. He can keep his racist, sexist, homophobic ass away from my kids. He can scream holler and yell all he wants to himself, my kids are going to get a patient dad who isn’t going to tan their asses over every minor inconvenience.
Physical abuse – my father sent me to the emergency room a few times before I was 8-years-old. Would closed fist hit me on the tip of my head or on my thighs in the car when he was angry. Beat the hell out of me twice in the men’s room of a restaurant because I complained about the food I was eating.
Emotional abuse – my father would yell at me and demean me regularly. He would call me a “pussy” when I cried in reaction to his abuse. Would threaten me with more abuse if I spoke about what he would do to me to anyone. He forced me to stand naked outside our house a few times as a punishment. I was 8.
If there was any positives to be had from all of that – I’m resilient and generally tough, which has facilitated a lifetime of sports and career success. And I advocate for children.
The cycle was broken: I am a single father to a 5th grader and he’s had nothing but a loving dad in his life. No physical or emotional abuse. Nothing but warmth and support.
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Alcoholism. Ran in my family until it ran into my pops 💪🏼
Physically hit for discipline my father get beat by his father and his grandmother a lot when he was a kid. He hit me once in my life cuz I got caught smoking but I understand that case.
My “child” (now 18) has been spanked exactly once in her life, and it was my wife that did it. (Toddler was reaching for the hot stove.) My dad used to very literally kick our asses, like boot to the butt.
He did that right up until the day in my early teens when I refused to “turn around” for my punishment. I looked him right in the eye and said “no”. We were almost the same size by then and I think he realized that wasn’t a fight he wouldn’t have won.
None. Proudly continuing all the traditions that got me to where I am.
Discipline via beatings
Apathy. Just couldn’t care less about having relations with his children. Emotionally unavailable. No desire for connection whatsoever. Likely as a result of choosing a woman that is emotionally unstable and causing constant heightened emotional turmoil in the household.
Emotional disconnection and alcoholism, though we’ll see how long we last on the latter.
What. Your title made my head hurt
Alcoholism.
At least on my end. My siblings however
I don’t know if it counts as trauma, but I remember learning that my grandfather was kinda racist, and being confused about it because my father taught me (mostly by example) to treat everyone equally.
Well, my grandparents left him alone with his brothers because they worked a lot, they didn’t support him when he started studying so that he could help with work and the house (in those times they didn’t see studying as very useful, plus my grandparents were businessmen and they did well so they didn’t want to).
He is a great father, he always supports us in everything and makes us want to be better people ❤️🩹
Nah, it ends with me, not my dad. He can keep his racist, sexist, homophobic ass away from my kids. He can scream holler and yell all he wants to himself, my kids are going to get a patient dad who isn’t going to tan their asses over every minor inconvenience.
Moving the family constantly.
Though not from his efforts. It was my mother’s interventions and refusals that prevented it.
Physical abuse – my father sent me to the emergency room a few times before I was 8-years-old. Would closed fist hit me on the tip of my head or on my thighs in the car when he was angry. Beat the hell out of me twice in the men’s room of a restaurant because I complained about the food I was eating.
Emotional abuse – my father would yell at me and demean me regularly. He would call me a “pussy” when I cried in reaction to his abuse. Would threaten me with more abuse if I spoke about what he would do to me to anyone. He forced me to stand naked outside our house a few times as a punishment. I was 8.
If there was any positives to be had from all of that – I’m resilient and generally tough, which has facilitated a lifetime of sports and career success. And I advocate for children.
The cycle was broken: I am a single father to a 5th grader and he’s had nothing but a loving dad in his life. No physical or emotional abuse. Nothing but warmth and support.