Me ’42M’ and GF ’40F’ have been together about 5 months. Im very mildly autistic, but even from my lens, its been great. We’ve done one trip together, have tons of similar interests, I feel like we communicate really well, and as the title suggests, lots of physical passion and great sex.
After one evening, in rhe middle of random conversation, she says she had a bad argument with a friend, N (F), about “how she always gets into these problems with men” and N was genuinely annoyed with her and it really upset her. I didn’t push for details, and she’s been very hesitant and vague about her goals for a relationship or herself. But at 5 months, I also dont want to make demands.
But then her followup line threw me for a loop: “is it awful of me to say that if the sex wasn’t so good this would be easier?” In the moment I laughed, but thats really bothered me. Im 42 so I dont exactly have oodles of time to blow if she’s not looking for a partner. I was planning to have a conversation at the end of the summer to make sure we’re on the same page. What does this mean though? Am I over reading it?
Comments
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We’d like to take this time to remind users that:
We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors
We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.
Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users “friend-zoned”, referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me’s, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.
All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don’t get a free pass.
Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, “body counts” or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.
If you have any questions, please message the mods
This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I don’t understand… WHAT would be easier if the sex wasn’t so good? Leaving you to the dust or what?
You need to ask for more clarity and wtf she meant by that. It’s your life too and your time you’re investing here. You deserve to know where she stands and imo 5 months is enough time for the “what are we?” Convo especially when you’re both 40+
She wants to leave you but the sex makes her stay
Joining the choir. What is “this” and how would it be “easier”. No idea what she’s supposedly talking about. Divorce even though you’re not married? Breaking the relationship? No idea.
>partner. I was planning to have a conversation at the end of the summer to make sure we’re on the same page.
Do this.
>What does this mean though? Am I over reading it?
Don’t do this, don’t speculate. Go do something you like or clean a part of the house that needs cleaning.
Was she trying to do a suduko at the time?