Me (25M) and my wife (26F) got married a few months ago. We live in different countries, but we have made this relationship work for over year and a half. My ex(24F), who had previously asked me to marry her 3 times and i rejected, found out about my marriage. I have not been in any contact with her since 2022. Some of her friends and her made chats pretending to be me and having conversations with her. They even went as far as to find their way into my snapchat account and use pictures for their chats. My family even got involved and we filed a complaint for harassment and defamation. It has been a struggle, but me and my wife are trying to make things work. I know my wife is struggling the most, because they even dared to send intimate videos, but those were from 4 years ago. It is really noticeable they are old videos specially since i’ve gained weight, but i know my wife looks at me differently. It’s like asking herself if i really do love her or if everything has been a lie? Being 100% honest, i have never cheated on my wife, much less with my ex, who my main reason for breaking up with her was her suicidal tendencies. What can I do to help my wife see that none of it is true? Or is it something so bad that we really can’t come out of this together? I don’t like the way she looks at me now. I love her like no one else in the world, but i don’t have to pay for something that I didn’t do…
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To be fair, even minus this ex’s harassment a marriage generally doesn’t work if you each live in different countries. So if you want to try to save your marriage it would seem that you and your spouse should take whatever means are necessary to be together for real. Until that can happen all you can really do is keep pleading your case and begging her to withhold her judgement until you can be in person and have a functional marriage.
File a restraining order against the ex and any of her friends who helped her and move to the same country as your wife…..I’m sorry but a marriage between spouses living in different countries is not going to work long term
You have been victimized by a truly evil person. If your wife can’t see that, I don’t know what you could do. Some people don’t believe the depths of someone’s betrayal and evil until they experience it themselves
I don’t know why your wife would need convincing. Just because you have done something with an ex in the past does not erase your current love for her now. If she can’t see that, that is, unfortunately, a pretty large sign of significant insecurity and trust issues.
Maybe at first skepticism would make sense, but if even the law is siding with you now and the videos are obviously from the past, I don’t know what else to say.
As it stands, you are the victim here. If your wife apparently cannot support you in victimhood, how can she support you anywhere?
Sue for revenge porn. The ex is doing something illegal by distributing your sex tapes to uninvolved individuals.
It’s hard to try to give advice about how you can fix this, because ultimately you’re the victim and your wife needs to understand that what they sent her wasn’t real. You’ve filed lawsuits against your ex and restraining orders, you wouldn’t have done that if you were guilty. You’ve been victimized and your wife needs to understand that and be rational
I don’t get why the wife isn’t being unreasonable. You didn’t do anything. You just happen to have a psychotic ex.
Yea it’s gonna be hard to undo the videos. It’s another side of you she didn’t know. The same goes when you say things to your loved one that hurts. It does irreparable damage. Your only hope. Communication. You need to talk it through. You need to let her ask and say the hard things that are eating at her. So you gently work up to that . Daily. You profess your love your commitment daily while you also let her vent and get shit out. It’s gonna be a process. Confront the truth. Tell her you see a change in her. That lets her know you are aware of who she is and how she acts around you. Instead of letting the hard shit go unsaid . Bring it to the light. That’s how you overcome.