You know the common trend we have these days that you should approach women because you would accused of sxual harassment, called a creep, etc. I think this is bull because even if a woman isn’t interested, you are fine as long as you get the hint and move on. Plus, I don’t believe the approach works in scenarios where women are comfortable, so no approaching women wearing headphones waiting for the bus, especially with a short t between bus arrivals and the gym
What is your experience with cold approaching women?
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You know the common trend we have these days that you should approach women because you would accused of sxual harassment, called a creep, etc. I think this is bull because even if a woman isn’t interested, you are fine as long as you get the hint and move on. Plus, I don’t believe the approach works in scenarios where women are comfortable, so no approaching women wearing headphones waiting for the bus, especially with a short t between bus arrivals and the gym
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Never tried it. I dated people I knew through other things.
i HaVe A bOyFrIeNd
Cold approach truths:
Effective if attractive.
Sexual harassment if unattractive.
Only do so if you have become best version of yourself in terms of looks, fashion, social skills hence increasing success.
Effective if already with a female friend acting as a wingwoman, makes approached female more comfortable.
I’ve never done in it my life. Only time I’ve had or pursued relationships was with friendships that I sensed were becoming something more (or thought so 🥲)
Meh… it’s just not worth it. The juice isn’t worth the squeeze.
Better to interact in more social settings where the expectation of being social is a bit more implied and defenses are easier to overcome in light conversations and some laughs.
Just walking up to girls with cold approach game is culturally outdated for most. Might work in less uptight non-western cultures, but not from where we sit now.
Back in my dating days, by far the most success I had meeting women was on the dance floor. I’m not even a good dancer. I just went out there and genuinely had fun. Women would notice that, and when I saw them we’d make eye contact and start dancing together. Then I would talk to them after and get their number.
It’s fine if you don’t be a weirdo , don’t stir someone’s drink with your finger , or dip your doughnut in someone’s coffee it’s not slick
I asked someone out last week I had an interaction with.
I invited her out, she said she’s already involved with someone, I said that’s too bad, but thanks for letting me know.
I somehow survived.
The biggest thing I think is knowing who’s in your league, and accepting any answer is their answer.
I don’t. When I’m single I generally I wait for them to give some signal they are interested then I’ll approach. I don’t just hit on anything.
I don’t cold approach because quite frankly, I suck at it. I prefer to do what I call a warm approach, where you put yourself in situations where talking to a stranger is reasonable or even encouraged. Far fewer awkward encounters, and it’s a good way to make new friends too.
More you do it. The easier it is. No one has a 100% success rate. Just don’t be an ass about. Be polite, don’t push, if they say no-go about your day.
I actually had an older woman tell that I need to just compliment women to flirt with them at and get their number. Was also wondering if that would work today.
If you’re self-aware when approaching women, they will not see you as a creep. This means, making sure you look presentable: clean shirt, shaved, took a shower, etc. You keep your distance, don’t get in their personal space. Be able to read body language, so you can tell if she’s interested in you or not. Fair or unfair, she’s assuming the worst and it’s your job to show you are not a creep and you’re safe. This means keeping the conversation G-rated.
I’d rather be crucified than approach women! At least crucifixion has the promise that my suffering will end in a few days and then no more harm can ever be done to me, approaching a woman (unless your a chad) will ruin your life for as long as you live.
The last time I cold approached a woman, I was blackout drunk at a college bar my freshman year. We’ve been together 10 years now. YMMV
Pretty much 70/30 rejection to success ratio. But well it’s fun to give approaching someone u like a chance every now and then. Rly stressful though
Bad, the best that ive gotten is “sure this is my insta”
The rest is kinda the reason i dont approach women in general 😂
If they are interested they can come to me.
If you’re approaching a woman, you’ve already lost the battle. Guys on their A game draw women to them (bring the mountain to Mohammed) and then pick one in their orbit to talk to/focus on
Terrible.
You can’t fail if you don’t ever try
My experience is miserable failure
I much prefer OLD not because I have crazy luck there, but because the rejection is less painful.
Cold approaching is horseshit. Law of averages suggests that it must work occasionally by virtue of reducing it down to a pure numbers game, but you’re also increasing the likelihood of something getting really awkward or worse. Not only that, but all you’re really going by with cold approaching is looks and how a woman is behaving in a public setting, so the odds of going on a date with a dud also dramatically increases.
I tried cold approaching when I was younger and never got anything out of it. I’ve never met any men IRL who said they met their girlfriend or wife from cold approaching. I’ve known more guys who met their woman at a bar or restaurant than cold approaching, which says a lot given how rare it is for single women to actually hang out at establishments by themselves. Maybe this says I’m not that attractive, and yeah, if I was really handsome I’m sure cold approaching might be more worthwhile. Then again, if I were just that handsome, why would I go up to random women like a sleazy salesperson as opposed to meeting women in an organic way?
None. Never have done it, and if I was single never would.
It only worked once with my current gf and I hope I’ll never have to do It again
I prefer a woman cold approaching me, or at the very least, showing me with flirtatious glances that she wants me to come talk to her.
If neither of those happens I’m not interested at all, because I value my time more than I value anyone’s looks.
I’m married, so I haven’t done this in a hot minute, but cold approach people gotta stop opening with “I noticed how you look attractive” type comments. Anything in the ballpark of “me likey” is not an interesting conversation.
In today’s climate, where every man is vilified for being a predator waiting for his opportunity? Never.
In my experience its never been negatative. Nobody has ever pepper sprayed me or anything. Im respectful and they will be respectful too and always say thank you (but im in a relationship). I dint get upset and just politely end the conversation.
Approaching women in 2025 is like playing fire fire at this rate.
Cold approach, cold shoulder.
I usually try to make eye contact first it’s all in the eyes and that certain look a woman gives you that you know she’s attracted to you or into you you can just feel it. If there’s zero eye contact and the facial expressions show disinterest I’m not going to even try.
Only approach if you are over 6ft, have a full head of hair and a chiselled jaw line.
Hasn’t worked for me as far as longterm serious relationships, but has gotten me laid.
Guys here are right, it’s all 100% down to “the look.” You can risk it without the look, but chances are lower for success.
Not that I’m keeping score, but I’ve cold approached hundreds of women over the years and it’s worked out more often than not.
I don’t qualify for Natural Selection.
None. I don’t do that
Most of my cold approaching is done in bars and other similar social spaces/events. I usually don’t make any move unless I’m reasonably sure I’m not gonna get knocked back immediately. We’ve made eye contact, she’s not totally engrossed with her pals… maybe we’ve passed each other in the bar and exchanged a few words. That kinda thing.
Then it’s just a conversation. And as OP says, as long as you’re polite and respectful, it’s rarely going to end badly. You may misread the opening, she may be more drunk than you realise etc. but if it’s not going anywhere or she makes it clear she’s not interested, you bow out gracefully.
I’ve never had a bad experience.
never really did it, i dont have the face card and im short. I know which guys woman want to approach and its not me, i spare myself the humiliation ritual.
Maybe it’s an age thing, but my brother is 65, single & maybe a 5 or 6 at best. He has a casual, respectful cold approach to women (in his age range of estimated late 50s to upper 60s). He says he hasn’t had any bad experiences with being turned away & has had some good experiences of being accepted. He keeps staying in the game hoping for an LTR but necessarily marriage.
I’m not even going to bother answering. All I have to say is this…
Way, WAY too many people are overthinking dating. You do not have to nuke every single interaction with the opposite sex.
Women are just people. If you’re so socially inept that you can’t figure out which scenarios are appropriate for approaching a stranger, then you need a dating coach.
Read the room, read their body language. If someone doesn’t want to be approached it’s generally pretty obvious.
I used to try it in my early 20s. It didn’t work for me. What does work though is becoming friends with a woman and then it progresses from there. Dating apps also work a lot better for me so I primarily use those.
Closed mouths go unfed, you have to say something, you have to approach. What if a woman finds you attractive but isn’t demonstrating it because she’s expecting you, as the male, to initiate and approach her? You’re gonna miss out because “Oh, if she’s interested she’ll have to find the courage to approach me!” Fuck no, come on, fellas. Does it ever happen, of course, but more often than not, a woman is gonna want to be approached, especially if she already noticed him and finds the guy attractive.
Like with anything else, practice makes perfect and makes things easier. The more you talk to women and treat them like any other human being, aka respectfully, the easier it gets. Expect rejection, everyone gets rejected, for one reason or another.
Social skills are the foundation, if you lack those but hit the gym daily or lead with your finances, you’re just gonna be some buff dude in a 911 Turbo that doesn’t make eye contact and stammers and trips over himself in the presence of a woman he finds attractive, which would be fucking pathetically hilarious.
Not good. I’ve never been the type to cold approach women but it’s just bad now a days. Women say they want to be approached but I don’t think they really do. It’s a strange paradox.
I’ve honestly never done it. Probably wouldn’t go too well for me anyway.
I’m much more of a fan of the warm approach. Engage with people platonically, and if a spark might fly based on some interaction, then maybe offer an activity. Talking to someone you don’t know doesn’t give much of a shared topic or justification other than appearance.
I’ve only done it a few times, but it worked most of the time. I have no good advice other than it only works if you’re attractive. Extra points if you’re also funny
Cold approaching is interesting.. depends on how you define it. Personally, I think it’s better to read someone’s body language first. If a girl’s walking across the street and a guy runs up behind her… yeah, most won’t get lucky. But in my experience.. if she’s looking, orbiting, smiling. showing any interest.. those “cold” approaches usually have better odds.
I’ve never approached a woman in my life and yet somehow I’m married.
At the end of the day you have a woman or you don’t.
If you want to act high and mighty because you never approached and didn’t bother anyone and didn’t get called a creep, congratulations. You’re still alone and have nothing to show for it.
It’s tough. Not just because it doesn’t bring results, but also because I hardly find any opportunities to do it. I don’t mind doing it at all, but the only time I can actually go out and do my thing is coincidentally when most people are working or taking the day off with their partner. It’s gotten to the point where I’ve started asking women for their number when they’re working. It can range from the waitress or the ladies at the mall giving samples or assisting other customers. I tell them from the start that I understand they’re working and they’re free to tell me to buzz off, but they’ve all been super chill about it. I just feel bad for bothering them while they’re working, but it’s that or it just doesn’t happen.
Do bars count? If so, sometimes it’s the cold shoulder, sometimes it’s a good time, and sometimes there’s some hanky panky.
Not in the game anymore, but if I were, I’d have no issue flirting whenever I felt like it, because history has shown me that I’m guaranteed something after enough tries. If one woman isn’t feeling me, there’s another who would.
Not one time have I ever wondered if I’d come off as creepy. That’s not my concern. She either accepts my advances or doesn’t. The end. I’m not going to jail just for flirting, and my ego can handle rejection.
For the times I truly approached cold with nothing but “Hello” stored in my brain, not that well. Two no shows and one sick triceratops. At the least the raptor fences weren’t down.
When I actually had something to say that might be of relevance to where we are or what’s happening, much better. At least in terms of how the conversation went. Because it was conversation for the sake of conversation, not conversation for the sake of getting digits or trying to see if she wants to fuck.
I’ve had way more success that started off normal conversation compared to “Hey, you pretty.” Sometimes just having a conversation with a mate within earshot where I’m on good form has been enough to get someone talking to me.
Its very good experience for making yourself braver in talking to women. It doesn’t usually work, but its great experience.
My experience is either a home run or strike out looking. Like my approach has always been either the smoothest thing in the world or the most awkward thing ever. It’s a numbers game though so who cares. Or, was a numbers game… Before I got married
I did it one time at the mall since my old friend encouraged me.
Basically I saw a girl working at the food court, approached her, introduced myself while asking her name, complimented her and asked her if she was single, she said she had a boyfriend, I said “oh he must be a lucky guy, well nice meeting you anyways” and walked away.
Honest and civilized conversation but wouldn’t do it again right now.
The “WoW” effect really does a number on society man I tell ya.
I was never very good at it, but like they say, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
I’d say I have a successful conversation maybe half the time, I really don’t go in expecting much but at least I get practice in
You got to have stones, son. Stones. It separates the men from the boys. 90% of Reddit guys ain’t got it. Married the last girl I cold approached. How did I do it? Sones, son. Stones. You need me to draw you a picture?
What common trend are you talking about? It’s about body language and environment.
I don’t approach
I don’t think I’ve ever tried unless I was drunk. I should.
I think it takes less effort than dating apps. The hard part for me is just walking to approach them. Once i’m talking to them I just get lost in the moment and at the end of the conversation I ask for their number or social media.
I think a lot of men come up with a lot of excuses to not go up to women as a way to validate what’s really stopping them which is the fear of getting rejected, I fall to that as well but, controlling that fear and being aware of it is important. My advice is once you start thinking about approaching someone is to just do it before your thoughts start spiraling which ends up stopping what you initially wanted to do.
I am also 5”3/5”4 so maybe i’m less scary/threatening to a women but, i can also have a perspective where im too short for her and use that as an excuse to not approach them.
“Approach” is not the word I use. “Strike up a conversation” is more accurate and less fraught, but that only works in non-noisy environments.
Only works if you can at least get a hint of interest from her