This wasn’t recent but it still haunts me in my dreams. I still see her face and her boyfriend’s face in shock wondering if they were just assaulted by a strange local.
I was with my partner on a busy double decker bus on the way to the city centre. There wasn’t really any seats but my partner did manage to grab one at the back and I was going to join her when someone moved. So as people are getting on and off I manage to get to the side of the bus in the large disabled bay / open area where people stand near the front of a bus when it’s super busy. Bus is moving, making various stops, bus driver isn’t the best, he’s going and stopping quite sharply and I could only hold on with one hand as all the other rails are full.
Bus comes up to the stop and the bus driver brakes really abruptly and my body swings forward like a pendulum – for context this girls is facing away talking to her boyfriend in front of her. Suddenly I’ve got this like “oh shit” mouth wide open as I see the unavoidable, it’s like slow motion matrix scene. My lips collide with the back of her hair. The bus comes to its final resting place and they both turn their heads and look at me.
In my sheer panic I tried to explain but what I imagine came out was a mixture of words only a nerdy software engineering student with poor social constructs and vocabulary could create. Both dead silent and didn’t say a word. in my head they’re probably tourists who didn’t speak English or are completely puzzled as to why a Scottish man just kissed his significant other on the back of her blonde shoulder length head full of hair.
The bus doors open, both looking at me like I’m some sort of sex pest silently judging, to which I might add is probably no more than I judge myself.
An empty spot appears next to my partner, I take one final look at their confused faces and
Like a coward, my fight or flight response kicks In and run to the back of the bus. I wait and peek through the gap between the passengers facing as I try to explain to my SO that I may be about to get arrested.
Both still looking, staring, probably wondering if they should contact the police.
To this day I still see their empty stares In my mind.
TL:DR – kissed a girl on the back of the head when the bus stopped abruptly
Comments
Welp, least it wasn’t her ass, or her partner. THAT would’ve been awkward. Look on the bright side.
Oh man, I’m sorry that happened, but thank you so much for making me laugh. Today is a tough one, and you really helped. Try to remember the joy you’ll bring people with this post instead of the embarrassment.
If the bus stopped so abruptly should it not be obvious that’s why you lurched forward?
You’d have thought. I thought it was obvious, but the fact they didn’t say anything, makes me feel like it wasn’t? I mean a lot of people fell forward. So I’m not sure how else I could have convinced them
You should have repositioned yourself in front of her so the next stop she kisses the back of your head and you could make weird faces at them.
Eh, I would just apologise. It’s not like I wanted my mouth to slam into the back of a stranger’s head. Once I was swung forward on the train straight into a stranger’s lap. THAT was fucking embarassing, ass suddenly and fully planted on some person’s thighs. They seemed annoyed, slightly amused, and grudgingly understanding as it was obvious why it happened.
Ahaha. Reminds me of the time the bus took a corner at speed. I was standing, and found myself in some random passengers lap. Many apologies were made.