I saw a video on YouTube recently of a woman with a PhD in psychology with a focus in sociopathy, and she herself was a sociopath. She mentioned that despite not being able to feel empathy towards others or really care about anyone, she had a desire since childhood to have a family and kids of her own. So now she has a husband who didn’t know until way after marrying her that his wife doesn’t love him, and kids who have to grow up having a sociopath mother. Just so that she gets to feel like she fits into the typical “adult” lifestyle I guess? It just feels really bizarre and selfish to me, but all the while it makes sense that a sociopath wouldn’t see the selfishness in that kind of behavior. I feel that my opinion on this matter is not the norm after seeing the comments on the actual video so here I am.
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No, they shouldn’t. My mother is one.
Not sure how unpopular this is, more something nobody has any control over…
Of course it’s selfish. Deciding to have kids in that circumstance is sociopathic
Even more unpopular opinion: Sociopathic women get more of an easy pass than their male counterparts.
Lmao. Not unpopular at all
This sounds like a popular opinion.
There are a lot of people that shouldn’t be parents
I swear nobody on this sub knows what unpopular opinion means… take this crap to r/randomthoughts
I don’t think this is unpopular
I had a kid with a sociopath. Would not recommend. In Addition to not having human empathy and love, they are master manipulators.
Think you really nailed the point of a sociopath on the head with, “Just so that she gets to feel like she fits into the typical adult lifestyle”. People with these personalities tend to have trouble fitting in normally, so they create a false life, a public image that’s socially acceptable. Part of that image is deception. Reason it’s bad for kids is, the sociopath will have “breaks” in that image, showing their real self. The kids and husband being closer, they will get hurt first and usually last because sociopaths are opportunistic.
I have a family member who i’m suspecting is a sociopath. He created this public image of being a social justice warrior, feminist, great person. Than I found out he brutally abused his GF behind closed doors and was verbally abusing my disabled mom when I wasn’t home. The world knew him as this great person, saving the world from the evil facist, while we knew him as the super villain. I’m saying this to put some context on the necessity for that public illusion. For them to be disgusting, horrible people? They have to distract the world and create doubt. The people that never see it will always come to their aid, while the abused will always have the scars.
True unpopular opinion: ONLY sociopaths should be moms. All moms should be sociopaths.
Just because someone is a sociopath doesn’t mean they are violent or evil. You probably interact with at least 1 sociopath every day and never know it. They blend in with everyone else…
Oddly enough, They can be and often are good parents.
I don’t think you’ll get flamed for having this opinion. Seems pretty logical.
However in the one example you’ve provided it seems like she has successfully educated herself and integrated her darker aspects in a way that more or less masks them. There’s really no need for emotional ties if you can still perform your duties. I wouldn’t call her a liar if she said she loved her kids, even if she wasn’t feeling any strong emotion. She understands marriage and parenting dynamics enough to work it out.
I’ll say personally there are aspects about myself that I thought were “bad” or disqualified me from living a certain lifestyle, yet as I grow older I see now how those facets of me are actually lighting a fire that motivates me and I can tap into that energy when needed. It might just be a form of overcompensation, but the better you understand your weakness the more prepared you are for success.
https://youtu.be/FTWNnmymMc4?si=eeaVq3FBulFDnB8m
Hope this link can post here, this is the video if anyone is curious. It’s actual really interesting, it’s just that the family aspect of it kept bothering me. Honestly glad that already everyone’s like “well duh” because I felt fucking crazy when I checked this video’s comments… people were saying “I wish she could have been my mom” and stuff like that.
I think they’re both considered antisocial personality disorder now but they used to say sociopaths are made, psychopaths are born. My mom is a psychopath, a truly bad seed. She is a terrible person and shockingly bad as a mom. So I have to agree. Not sure if you’ll find your opinion unpopular
What on earth made you think this was an unpopular opinion?
Why on earth did you think this was an unpopular opinion
If she was a real doctor she wouldn’t use the term sociopath. There is no such thing as “sociopathy” in modern medicine.
The sociopath was selfish….NO WAY!!!!
Wow I guess I’m the one with the unpopular opinion for disagreeing with this. Yes, they can’t technically “love” their spouse or kids but they can still do the duties of a good parent (which is more than a lot of non-sociopathic parents can say). Why should their disability (for lack of a better term) mean they have to live a life of solitude?
And yeah, maybe it is a little selfish, but everyone indulges in something selfish.
I’m not sure this is unpopular😂😂
Yeah they really don’t need to ever reproduce.
You would have to be pretty misanthropic to think this is an upopular opinion.
But.
If her being a mother and having to play out the life of a perfect soccer mom stops her from going on a killing spree, then I guess it’s worth it?
Miss Meadows
while you’re correct, Patric Gagne is the exact opposite of an example of why. If you’re interested you should read her book, but otherwise, i’d say this is a popular opinion
A sociopath often is an arrogant narcissist too, wanting to have kids because they think they’d be a better parent than all the others out there? Wanting to prove how good they are at deception? I might get blasted for my cynicism but I think psychiatrists and psychopaths live under the same bubble, one getting paid to talk about their perversions while the other pays to talk about it. Almost like they chose this career to engage closely with their own psychopathy, to become an expert at it, without anyone detecting it in them.
Sociopathy/Psychopathy (it’s really just two variations of the same condition) get a bad rap, but I would agree they probably shouldn’t be parents. I have a friend who is diagnosed with psychopathy, and he’s actually a decent guy. Orthodox Christian, and he’s described the way he “feels” as being more of a fleeting sensation than a lasting emotion. What I took from that was more than while he can choose to feel something, it’s a conscious effort rather than an automatic reaction.
The condition doesn’t inherently imply violence; it merely states that said person does not feel emotions. They can mimic them, but they don’t feel them in the same way, or at all.
It’s a really complicated situation, but I think for the betterment of everyone involved, they shouldn’t become parents. Children need to know their parents love them, not that they’re incapable of feeling anything for their child.
This is a popular opinion.
Symptoms of ASPD in high functioning individuals normally dissipate over time (she’s obviously high functioning there’s no debate about that) obviously it doesn’t always happen but it happens very often.
ASPD is also caused by severe childhood abuse and almost all childhood abuse victims show symptoms of ASPD they just don’t have enough to be diagnosed so basically what you’ve said is if you’ve experienced childhood abuse you should never have children.
Having ASPD does not make you a bad person, it doesn’t make you abusive or a bad parent.
People with high functioning ASPD can also feel very strong emotions meaning she absolutely can love her husband and children, people with high functioning ASPD can also feel empathy for their children it’s just not very strong but they can.
ASPD in its high functioning form and its low functioning does not make you an emotionless shell.
Seems like I’m the only person here who agrees with the video commentors, not the Reddit ones. Doing it just to “fit in” with her peers seems to be your interpretation not hers. People with perfectly functioning empathy are just as capable of evil as those without it.
I will say this is a bit of a grey area as she’s likely very well adapted despite her condition. I assume, this is also just speculation. I don’t think it’s impossible for a sociopath to recognize where they fall short and still do a fine job as a parent. But I don’t think sociopaths are all going around kicking puppies and manipulating everyone they come across, untreated ones might, but there’s still nuance even in ‘extreme’ situations like this.
Frankly life’s not a perfectly operated machine where we make sure only the finest folks become parents. I think we all know that it’s usually the absolute worst people that are most likely to make the most kids. If I had to choose between being a kid who “”has to”” grow up with a sociopath mother who tries her best and actively made the informed decision to have kids and wanted it, or “has to” grow up with an empathetic mother who didn’t know she didn’t want kids until i was already here and slowly became bitter over the years. I say this not to compare trauma. I just say this because monsters do live amongst us and not all of them have a diagnosis. It’s not like your choice is either “mother with sociopathy” or “good mother with no problems”. In the grand scheme of things this isn’t that bad. There’s good and bad here and there’s plenty of situations where there’s no good in that I’m concerned about. Not as concerned about this.
Pros:
*She actively wanted children, which is an advantage many kids don’t get.
*Empathy and compassion are absolutely not the same thing! They usually go well-in-hand but there’s absolutely ways to navigate the world when you don’t naturally have empathy just fine. I know plenty of people with low empathy and they still want to function and be members of society. They CAN be awful but so can someone with literally any condition.
*She studied psychology. She probably learned plenty of skills she can apply and teach to her child. And her husband seemingly does not have the same medical condition and presumably would help cover any weak points she may have.
*I can foresee that a sociopathic mother might be a good protector. Less worried about reputation or social inhibitions in situations like advocating for your child’s needs in the doctor’s or principal’s office.
Cons:
*At a base level parenting is about teaching skills to a child and guiding them on how to act. And she’s missing a large portion of how most people navigate the world. And the skills she used might not be applicable to a child without her condition.
*We probably are somewhat correct in thinking that sometimes she’ll act more mean than is warranted. If that’s an issue remains to be seen.
*Sociopathy, from what I understand, is usually a result of trauma and people with tumultuous pasts usually bring that in some way or another into their adult lives.
Now I’m not an expert on this by any means and I didn’t see the video in question. I’m just giving my best guess on a situation and I assume that’s what everyone else is doing too. But I do think I’m fair in saying that sociopathy is a medical condition and not a wholistic view of a person. Also this isn’t meant to speak on people who’ve been in a similar situation. or defend all people or anything. If you’ve been abused by a sociopath I believe you and think there are plenty who shouldn’t be parents.
Sure but do you think the sociopaths are gonna tell us?
O0 could have told me this before I knocked her up and it cost me $185,000 in child support.
Sociopaths are not monoliths.
Sociopathy is not the same for everyone. My husband is a sociopath. Diagnosed. He is an amazing husband and father and my best friend in the entire world. I would trade nothing for him.
He does not feel empathy or love for me the way I do him. Sociopaths CAN feel sympathy. Sympathy is I UNDERSTAND how you feel. Empathy is I FEEL how you feel. A self aware sociopath will take conscious steps to understand on a logic based level how their people feel. They assign rational responses to a problem. The consequences are assigned to said logic, creating their sense of morality. “What I did hurt her. I can’t do that again. Hurting her may make me lose her. I don’t want to lose her. My life is worse without her.” These are exact words from my husband. He may not be crying with me, but he assigns a value to protecting me, and how I feel, and does so with absolute resolve. I may have some warm fuzzy that’s an illogical love for him, but every day he chooses me, because he wants me on his life. As for the kids? They are his responsibility. He sees that them being safe, happy and provided for is his job. He does his job. Period. Kids are supposed to be happy? Ok. We make the kids happy. They need something? Ok. We work extra to get it. His absolute loyalty is unmatched.
That said. This comes from self awareness. If you have someone with sociopathic tendencies that makes zero effort to better themselves or to self check, then you get bad people. But being a sociopath doesn’t make you a bad person.