Never really thought much of it but I mentioned this to a coworker recently and it blew their mind, so I thought I’d share here.
My siblings are all addicts. Opioids, alcohol, blow. One is well recovered but the others are still very much in it – facing 10+ years for felonies they don’t remember committing, partially disabled due to drunk driving accidents, struggling with homelessness. My mother is a recovered alcoholic (went through hell to get there) and current opioid addict. Dad was always a workoholic, which sounds innocuous but it did have its moments. Missed holidays, birthdays, gone for weeks at a time, etc. His chronic high blood pressure caused a heart attack in his 50’s (he lived).
But it’s much deeper than that. My mom’s family comes from Maryland, who maintained their wet status during prohibition. Her great uncles used to run bootlegged booze over state lines and the family has drank ever since. Of my known lineage on that side, more than half are daily drinkers, several are facing health risks from alcoholism (or died from them), and a few are recovered alcoholics.
My dad’s side? Bunch of Italian mobster coke heads back in the glory days. Now that cocaine has lost its style, most of my known relatives on this side are either alcoholics or heroin addicts. A couple “sober” members but for good reasons. At least one fentanyl overdose, at least one fatal heart attack in their twenties due to chronic substance use, and several current drinkers.
Me? I like weed. AMA.
Comments
What was it like to realize your family is different than other families? When did that realization come?
anyone making signs to be better
So sorry you were born into this world with negative energies family members. Seems like you are the most sober and aware and conscious with the situation. Are you planning to change your path for a brighter future ? If yes what is your plan for the next 1-5 years ?
A few quick ones… Are you addicted to weed? Do you have a desire to stop? Do you have family reunions? Thanks!
Cocaine lost its style? Nobody told Vancouver..
How does your mom justify being recovered from alcohol but using opioids?
Do you have children or plan to?
As I grow older, I start to wonder why people with certain “dispositions“ procreate and potentially pass those same dispositions onto their kin.
I am, by no means, perfect, and have children of my own so probably a hypocrite in my thinking but if I had to do it all over again, I’m not sure I would choose to pass on my familial dispositions to my children.
sigh same. I feel. I feel. Except mine don’t do blow, they do meth. I just quit nicotine a week ago today. That was my only vice. It’s kinda freeing in a way. Not replacing it with something else is the hard part though
How do you find forgiveness?
At what point do you think rehab sticks? I ask because my brother recently finished rehab and it was his first time and he’s doing really good. He’s been super goal oriented and has started college in his 40s. His grades started slipping after getting straight As and that’s when he went to rehab. He’s been going to AA meetings daily for months. His living situation is Changing soon and he’s nervous about that but other than that he’s been super solid. In fact, he’s worried because his sobriety means so much and he’s been very open about being worried about relapsing. It’s in a way that makes me feel that he really cares about his sobriety a lot. Am I wrong to feel like one round of rehab could be enough?
Because other people with family members who were addicts have shared with me that they think I should just expect a relapse and that’s it’s inevitable when these things have happened but I don’t think that’s fair. Am I wrong for believing in him?