Thank you so much for teaching me that I’m the problem and making me self-conscious about my body.
I remember as a child I hated my body from the waist down, and then in middle school, the entirety. I remember being 11, and having a man leer at me in a tanktop. I remember being 13 and catcalled alone in a street for the first time while nobody cared to ask the scared little girl if she was alright. I remember being 13 and motioned to by a car of older men with my friend when we were walking at night…. just two kids being kids. I remember being 14, and those same men leered at me, catcalled me, motioned towards me again, and then did a u-turn to follow me and I ran home crying. I remember being dresscoded by a man at this very school.
The same men that followed me still make me peek over my shoulder even now. I’m 18 now. I didn’t wanna leave the house when I was 14 all summer, it took me so much courage to walk to the store in a skirt.
Wanna know who reinforced the idea that my body is the problem?
You did.
And it is so insane to me how a curvaceous, grown woman could inflict the same incident that she probably experienced growing up.
Not only did you dresscode me, but you even remarked that I should “get a better fitting skirt.” Completely unsolicited. How quaint.
Wanna know a fun little fact?
I don’t have clean pants today for school. I was going to wear a skirt instead, but I decided to spray perfume on my 6 day old pants to wear again because the thought of you calling me over made my stomach churn and I’d rather keep my breakfast down.
So thank you for leaving such an impact on me at my wonderful high school, you fucking bitch.
Comments
Hey, I’m really sorry you’ve had to go through all of that. You were just a kid, and people should have done better. It’s awful that the adults around you added to the damage instead of helping. You deserved to feel safe and respected. I hope things get easier from here and that you’re surrounded by people who actually see and support you.
Ugh I totally feel like I know this woman. Also I’m sure this doesn’t really help your current frustration, but you’re a really good writer.
I had that woman in my school, just for my senior year when I was 17-18. She instituted a dress code that included skirt measurements. It’s been some 25 years since, and I can still see her pinched hateful bitch face, and I still wish her the very worst.
The dress code didn’t stick, thanks largely to student backlash to the obvious misogyny, but it was yet another affirmation that women’s bodies are a problem, and that everyone (except the woman in question, ofc) gets to have something to say about it.
Stay strong op.