An absolute horror of a story. About a month ago I got into a motorcycle accident where I got hit pretty bad. Didn’t go to the doctor because I felt fine at the time.
Fast forward a week after that, me and my gf met together, one thing led to another… To spare you the details, at the end of the deed while I was trying to finish, I felt an excruciating stabbing pain in my testicle region. I tried playing it off cool, but after stuff started coming out… She and me audibly gasped. It was almost black and gooey. Turns out, it was blood that was congealed inside of my plumbing.
Mortified, I said to her I should go to the hospital and that she doesn’t have to go with me if she doesn’t want to. She did and we went to the emergency room and they did an ultrasound. They couldn’t see anything wrong so I was sent home with some pain meds. My primary doc said it should clear up in a couple of weeks. It did. But, I was progressively nutting brown, lighter brown, even lighter brown until it fully cleared up today.
Though, I think I’ve scarred my gf from sex forever.
TL;DR Got into an accident, nutted black congealed blood on my gf that led to a post-sex emergency room visit.
Comments
Wait its supposed to NOT be red/brown?
Have you ever wished to be able to unlearn how to read?
If this is the worst thing she experiences during she’ll be lucky.
r/eyebleach for anyone who finished this story
Nuts
It’s called “hematospermia” and most times it is in fact benign and it’s difficult to find an actual cause. In your case you have a pretty solid idea of why, as trauma to the equipment can be a cause.
If it persists I would see a urologist.
Welp, that’s enough… life for the day. See you all tomorrow.
1 more reason to never ride a motorcycle jeesuuus
Just wincing while I read the whole thing. The pain.
what a horrible day to be able to read
Reminds me of the video where the guy says, “look they have the cum colored Gatorade” and reaches pointedly past the white one to pick up the red one instead.
That was you, wasn’t it.
There’s a death metal song about this. Honestly, probably a couple.
A month ago, I took a ride,
My bike and I, we did collide.
Though bruised and scraped from head to toe,
I shrugged it off and let it go.
No doc was seen, I felt just fine,
No pain, no blood, no urgent sign.
But time went on—a week had passed,
And then came fun with my girl at last.
One thing led to steamy scenes,
Till pain shot through my family beans.
A stab so sharp, I lost my breath—
My boys declared a fight with death.
I played it cool (or tried to bluff),
Till out came something… gooey stuff.
Black and thick, a gruesome sight,
It gave my girlfriend quite a fright.
“What is that?!” she gasped in fear,
As I stood there clutching my rear.
Turns out, that blood had sat and chilled—
Coagulated pipes refilled.
I told her, “Babe, it’s time we go,
You don’t have to, but just so you know…”
She came along despite the dread,
And off we went to ER bed.
An ultrasound they tried in vain,
No answers came to ease the pain.
“Rest and meds,” the doc advised,
“Should clear in weeks,” to my surprise.
And clear it did—but oh the hues!
My poor ol’ bits gave shifting clues.
From darkest brown to milky tan,
Each nutting shade a master plan.
Now I am healed, but she’s still shook—
Afraid to even give a look.
Though I survived, I must confess,
I’ve scarred our love life more or less.
https://i.redd.it/l9u190ge6r4f1.gif
That’s the most metal thing I’ve ever heard
TIFU by still following TIFU
I made a face while reading this
(Cannibal Corpse playing in the background)
Same thing happened to me, but thankfully I was alone… anyway, I’m never grappling without a groin cup again.
This is just what I want to read when I’m taking my CBT bike test soon 🙂
Turnabout is fair play.
Look on the bright side. That’s only like the third or fourth worst bodily fluid you could have nutted. Imagine you came and it was just like a dook. Like a python unhinging it’s jaw to eat a pig played in reverse
I miss the person I was before reading this.
I called this my Demon Seed when I had it! 😀
This is why women live longer.
Sounds like you might have had a stone that caused internal bleeding, that sucks
Just point out that it’s not terribly different than having sex too soon after her period is over. Same deal. No harm, no foul.
Doc: “Nut two times and call me in the morning.”
Had a bicycle crash years ago, and ultimately straddled a tree. Absolutely nailed my “taint”, and peeing was definitely mixed with blood when it came out. And fuck it hurt, but like I’d damaged my urethra, not something internal.
Didn’t go to the ER (which I definitely should have done), and just drank tons of fluids that night. Went to sleep, and woke up in the middle of the night to pee and it was exactly as you were describing. Coagulated blood in the urethra. Once it was out, everything was fine.
But yeah, don’t mess around, go get yourself checked out!!
I’m leaving this subreddit today.
I really shouldn’t have read this shit 😭
That’s enough Reddit for me. Thanks.
I was in a coma some years ago, for almost 2 months. The first time I came, it was gooey and yellow. Stayed line that for almost a month after. Glad you made it out alive.
George Corpsegrinder Fisher has entered the chat
Cannibal Corpse’s I Cum Blood begins to play softly in the background
Cannibal Corpse’s I Cum Blood begins to play softly in the background
Cannibal Corpse’s I Cum Blood begins to play softly in the background
*Cannibal Corpse’s I Cum Blood begins to play softly in the background
This reminds me of a song…
https://youtu.be/4jixHk6N0_4?si=bUybH6_F95Xlctnb
That’s totally Cannibal Corpse.
Something similar happened to me, and my doctor was like “eh, this happens more often than people realize. It’s scary, but it should resolve itself in a few or so. If it doesn’t, then we’ll start to look deeper.
And sure enough, it resolved itself. Just one of those things. 🤷♂️
Something similar happened to me, and my doctor was like “eh, this happens more often than people realize. It’s scary, but it should resolve itself in a few or so. If it doesn’t, then we’ll start to look deeper.
And sure enough, it resolved itself. Just one of those things. 🤷♂️
If she can’t handle you being on your period she isn’t mature enough to be having sex.
If she can’t handle you being on your period she isn’t mature enough to be having sex.
Did you play Cannibal Corpse? 👀
If she can’t handle you being on your period she isn’t mature enough to be having sex.
Did you play Cannibal Corpse? 👀
Did you play Cannibal Corpse?
No, there is not a problem for your girlfriend.
New fear unlocked. JESUS CHRIST. 😂 I’m glad you’re okay but holy crap you just got me off reddit for the day.
New fear unlocked. JESUS CHRIST. 😂 I’m glad you’re okay but holy crap you just got me off reddit for the day.
That sounds pretty metal.
That sounds pretty metal.
My first after a vasectomy was super bloody. Pretty common in that case. Took a few flushes to get cleared up. Anyways the sight can certainly be unnerving, even if you’re informed about it before hand, I can’t imagine what it’d be like out of the bleu
My first after a vasectomy was super bloody. Pretty common in that case. Took a few flushes to get cleared up. Anyways the sight can certainly be unnerving, even if you’re informed about it before hand, I can’t imagine what it’d be like out of the blue.
Bro that hurt me
Just a fyi, always go to the hospital after an accident. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug and can cover excruciating pain and/or injuries. Just go to the hospital and get a full check up!
She’s a saint for going with you, well within her rights to stay home after that
Well, atleast we know this isn’t AI… No em-dashes.
Nutting wrong in what I just read
That’s nothing, try dealing with that on the monthly