I’m hoping to get some perspective or comfort from anyone who’s been through something similar.
I was recently cheated on by my boyfriend. We were doing long distance at the time, and during a night out with his friends, he admitted to kissing another girl. He says it was a stupid mistake and that he regrets it deeply.
For some context, I’m someone who gets a fair amount of attention — but I’ve never cheated and never would. Loyalty has always been really important to me, and I’ve always considered cheating a hard dealbreaker. But this time, despite how hurt I was, I decided to stay and try to work through it with him.
The problem is… I’ve been incredibly anxious since then. My self-esteem has taken a hit, and I’ve found myself asking things like, “Was I not enough?” or “Why wasn’t I worth staying loyal to?” I know it might not be rational, but the betrayal has really affected my ego and sense of trust.
Now I constantly feel on edge. I keep wondering if he’s hiding something else, if he’s being honest with me, or if I missed more red flags. I always feel like I have more questions to ask, and I hate this constant loop of overthinking.
For anyone who’s been through something like this — does it ever get better? Does the anxiety and paranoia go away? Or is it always going to feel like this once the trust is broken?
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Backup of the post’s body: I’m hoping to get some perspective or comfort from anyone who’s been through something similar.
I was recently cheated on by my boyfriend. We were doing long distance at the time, and during a night out with his friends, he admitted to kissing another girl. He says it was a stupid mistake and that he regrets it deeply.
For some context, I’m someone who gets a fair amount of attention — but I’ve never cheated and never would. Loyalty has always been really important to me, and I’ve always considered cheating a hard dealbreaker. But this time, despite how hurt I was, I decided to stay and try to work through it with him.
The problem is… I’ve been incredibly anxious since then. My self-esteem has taken a hit, and I’ve found myself asking things like, “Was I not enough?” or “Why wasn’t I worth staying loyal to?” I know it might not be rational, but the betrayal has really affected my ego and sense of trust.
Now I constantly feel on edge. I keep wondering if he’s hiding something else, if he’s being honest with me, or if I missed more red flags. I always feel like I have more questions to ask, and I hate this constant loop of overthinking.
For anyone who’s been through something like this — does it ever get better? Does the anxiety and paranoia go away? Or is it always going to feel like this once the trust is broken?
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It won’t go away… with him.
It’ll go away when you muster up the strength to leave and try again with someone you know has the strength not to cheat on you. Who shares your values.
Cheating is not about your value. Even Beyonce got cheated on, many times.
And your value doesn’t require another person’s input. If I tell your value to you now, that will just be me acknowledging it. You had value before anyone ever said a thing.
Now take some of that value, muster up some pride, and tell him to kick rocks. Forever.
Find your future. Good luck.
Ask yourself:
Do you think it is possible he would do this again?
Give how much it has affected you, do you think he would hide it from you to prevent further pain to you?
Has he actually done anything to show he loves you, or was it just “sorry babe it was a mistake x”
Do you think someone who loves you should make you feel like this?
what will this relationship look like in the long term. Do you think youll be happy?
Long term relationships are where peoples motives truely reveal themselves, because the dkstance shields them from consiquence.
It’s just your body telling you that you’re not okay with this. I don’t think I ever meet someone who ever completely forgave a cheater. They usually get paranoid and put a leash on the cheater.
With you it’s even worse, because you can’t keep an eye on a cheater whose long distance.
I hope you realise it’s over and you deserve better. Cheating was a dealbreaker for you because of what you’re putting yourself through now. You had a good rule before, so follow it.
I’m sorry this happened to you. I honestly don’t think it’s worth the worry and anxiety.
I think it’s good that he told you and was honest but I wouldn’t take him back if I were you.
You are enough and worth loyalty for the right person. He has shown you he is not the right person. This is ALL on him, not on you.
I heard this analogy one time and I really appreciated it…
“A five-year-old could pick up the most precious diamond in the world and immediately drop it on the ground not knowing it’s worth. It does not make the diamond any less valuable…it just found itself in the wrong hands.”