Why do people try to act like physical attraction doesn’t matter?
I refuse to date a woman that I’m not physically attracted to. I work hard in the gym to better my appearance and I need to feel intense physical attraction. Personality still matters but I need physical attraction first to even consider personality. Love works best when you have both physical attraction and personality. Why do people think it’s more noble to settle for a big girl and then end up having a dead bedroom? You can’t fuck a personality. I have friends with low self esteem settling for toxic big girls and they’re all depressed because they feel no attraction to their partner
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Why do people try to act like physical attraction doesn’t matter?
I refuse to date a woman that I’m not physically attracted to. I work hard in the gym to better my appearance and I need to feel intense physical attraction. Personality still matters but I need physical attraction first to even consider personality. Love works best when you have both physical attraction and personality. Why do people think it’s more noble to settle for a big girl and then end up having a dead bedroom? You can’t fuck a personality. I have friends with low self esteem settling for toxic big girls and they’re all depressed because they feel no attraction to their partner
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Because they’re degenerate losers who don’t want to be judged and they feel like being dumb is an end around for them not taking care of themselves.
Who tries to act like it doesn’t?
I’ve never heard of this lol. I’ve heard of people saying that there’s more than physical attraction but never that physical attraction doesn’t matter.
Physical attraction does matter, but it shouldn’t be the sole reason for dating. Also, there are so many preferences regarding physicality that there is almost certainly someone for everyone.
Who are these people and why do you care what they think?
You go for what you like, plain and simple.
You don’t want a big girl, don’t go for a big girl. Who gives a fuck what the general consensus is, if it doesn’t apply to you?
Guilt over being “shallow.”
For the same reason people try to act like money doesn’t matter: it’s not socially desirable to place emphasis on looks, money, etc. in this day and age. It’s easy to look at these things as superficial, but they really do matter.
Idk man, but it definitely matters. We all like what we like. Physical attraction gets me interested and personality locks me down.
Women will tell you that looks don’t matter: They’re lying.
Looking good and being fit helps with initial attraction; value, personality, and competence sustain relationships.
Looking like a slob definitely hurts you.
Dressing clean and neat, keeping yourself groomed, etc. is neutral to positive.
Dressing a notch up, being fit, being exceptionally well-groomed is a big positive.
However, vapid attracts vapid, so you have to be careful.
I don’t think annoying thinks this way
I think we just don’t talk about it because people get offended. Doesn’t matter who’s on the other end of the conversation, except maybe your bros that you can say what you really feel to. People get offended or think you are shallow at best.
If you don’t talk about it and instead just pursue girls you are attracted to, there is less judgement.
I don’t think people mean looks don’t matter at all
Like if you’re repulsed by someone’s appearance, weight, maybe they have bad hygiene and skin then no you shouldn’t force yourself into trying to date some like that.
When I say looks don’t matter, I mean personality makes up so much of attraction, that someone who you may find “meh” could become “woah” based on getting to know them. I’ve dated people I wasn’t initially very attracted to, but only after I had gotten to know them and their personality and humor was so appealing to me, I started to find them sexy. Like one person I started to become obsessed with their shoulders. I started to find things I liked and was super attracted too.
Generally, the more you like someone the more attractive they become to you, but it shouldn’t start out as “well shit. This person is nice so I’ll ignore the fact that to me they look like a troll.”
Being nice isn’t what I’m talking about either. Someone can be nice and not attractive. I’m talking about personality like, humor, temperament under pressure, I once wanted to rip the clothes off of someone who noticed an argument about to get physical, and remedied it with this menacing calm.
It does matter, most people that say shit like that think they’re just being polite. Most care, the ones that say they don’t are lying. (There are outliers, but this is usually the case)
It’s something ugly people say to make themselves feel better.
It’s fleeting though. If you are thinking about marriage, the one you marry isn’t going to be the one that you get in 30 years.
If you are just in it for the here and now, fine.
But, physical looks should only be valued so much in determining someone to marry, since they will change so much.
?? I’ve seen this more commonly in women than in men. A lot of women are taught to give a man a chance even if there’s no initial attraction. I haven’t seen this phenomenon with men not being with someone they’re not physically attracted to first. Maybe this is those peoples way in “equality” if you feel that way.
Anyways. My stance stays the same for both men and women. Date who you’re attracted to and fuck those who may have some BS to say. Attraction is very important in a relationship.
Who is acting like it doesn’t exist? It’s not the defining characteristic, but it is generally up there.
Same I wouldn’t date anyone I’m not attracted to. Everyone finds different type of looks attractive tho. So just do your things and find someone you are attracted to. You don’t owe anyone any explanations.
> Why do people try to act like physical attraction doesn’t matter?
LIterally never heard this sentiment. I have no idea what you’re on about.
> Why do people think it’s more noble to settle for a big girl and then end up having a dead bedroom?
Nobody thinks this is “noble.”
I don’t think this is really the case, but I can see how you would get that idea. I think people do sort of instinctively empathize with someone being told they just aren’t good enough, but really I think the thing is that it becomes easy to either actually or to appear to have tripped over into the territory of just being shallow; only concerned about appearance and overly concerned about appearance. Why people care so much about that I don’t really understand either, it’s just self-sabotage for the people engaging in it because it leads to absolutely miserable relationships.
Who are you spending time with that makes you think this??
Physical attraction matters I just think that “types” can really interfere with connection.
>Why do people think it’s more noble to settle for a big girl and then end up having a dead bedroom?
Christianity and its consequences. Even most western atheists are raised in a Christian-influenced culture, and internalize some of the messages of Christianity, to wit:
Lust is bad; basing your actions off sexual desire is bad. Wanting things in general is bad. Valuing worldly success is bad. The successful or fortunate must have some moral failing.
These morals are reinforced through cultural messaging (where attractive people have to have some moral failing to give the more ‘homely’ characters a chance).
Because it’s socially unacceptable to say it, plain and simple.
Men don’t say it because society will label them dirty pervs and women don’t say it because, well not sure on that one specifically. But that’s the baseline issue.
Physical attraction does, has, and always will matter, that’s the joke of the friendzone ‘I like you but I can’t ever see myself having sex with you’
It’s more of a stigma to tell women they’re unappealing which is why they go with terms like curvy and cute when men don’t get that. They just get told they’re fat or ugly straight up
It’s a fine line between body positivity and accept me as I am, vs you should still put effort in to be healthy
The only people who say that are ugly people to make themselves feel better, and attractive people who are being sanctimonious to try make ugly people feel better.
I don’t think most people would say it doesn’t matter, more that it’s not the only thing that matters. If you connect with someone on a deep level emotionally then the level of attraction doesn’t always matter as much. As people get older they usually become subjectively less attractive so you’re not settling by staying with the person you married, you are more in love with them because of a greater connection with them and the physical attractiveness just becomes less important (or more realistic it becomes entangled in your emotional connection and you somehow become more attracted to them)
Where did you get this perception from. My entire life I have impression attraction is the number one factor. You can be literally be fucking with literally nothing known about the other. There’s a term for this which is lust. Primal human urges will always be there. I believe you are a product of the new world where they are trying to reverse engineer society and biology.
It always mattered, and it will always matter. We just live in a world where we want to “normalize” everything, like being ugly, and so some people say personality matters more.
In a long term relationship, down the line – absolutely, I believe the same. If you have a hot woman but you’ve been together for 5-6-7 years, you will still get used to the relationship, the lust will go away, and from there personality can make the true love last.
But certainly, I would never date a girl I don’t physically feel attracted to, even if her personality is perfect for me. I need that. We all need that. And of course, while the genetics lottery is unfair (such as life), everyone can put the work in to make the most out of what he/she was dealt with. As soon as you stop blaming others and circumstances and rather just stay focused and do the work for who you want to be mentally and physically, you will get the confidence that changes your whole aura. Which will surely make you much more attractive to others, too.
And about “big people”: being fat means you eat too much and don’t move enough. That’s it, you can hate me all you want. I was fat for a decade, I am not fat anymore, and I didn’t have any cheat code to achieve that. Life in general got too comfortable, it was natural a few hundred years ago that people are in good physique – except the wealthy, who already lived comfortably. Because everyone had to do manual labor, if not at work then around the house. Now you get out of your comfortable bed, get in your comfortable car, commute to sit in your comfortable office chair, and then the other way round. Hell, it’s a popular feature to have the trunk on your car open and close by an electric motor, taking 5 times as much time as doing it by hand, we’re that lazy. Extra work needs to be put in to be healthy and in good physique, but you can view it as something in exchange for having the very comfortable life you’re living.
Who, in real life, told you to be noble and date someone you aren’t attracted to?
What the fuck are you on about? Do whatever the hell you want. Believe it or not, there are a wide range of thoughts and opinions out there based on different lived experiences and value systems. You’re free to follow whatever yours are, there is no right or wrong here.
I don’t think people actually say that looks don’t matter. At least I haven’t encountered it. Sure some say looks aren’t everything because they frankly aren’t but that doesn’t mean they don’t matter at all. For me base level of attraction is a must and I think most people agree with this. That said I find most women attractive so looks don’t matter much beyond meeting the base level attraction. If I had to choose between a drop dead gorgeous woman who is a pain to be around vs an average looking woman who is sweet and kind then I would choose the average looking woman. So yes I prioritize personality over looks but that doesn’t mean looks don’t matter. I could understand why some might think that’s what it means though.
The problem isn’t that physical attraction doesn’t matter. The problem is that relationships can’t function on the premise that physical qualities are ALL that matter.
Time passes. People change. Attraction and desire must encompass the person as a whole for it to survive. Otherwise, intimacy dies when someone gains weight, has an accident, or when old age rears its inevitable head.
I’m not saying that physical attraction doesn’t matter. I’m just saying it has to be a malleable concept that is allowed to change along with the person themselves.
It’s funny how you mention guys being with “toxic big girls” when I have friends who pushed hard into relationships with toxic women who were “thin and sexy” who just treated them like garbage. But they kept the relationship going anyway because the woman was so “sexy” and that was what mattered the most to them. In each case, the relationship blew up in terrible ways.
Huh? What are you talking about?! Sure to some physical attraction doesn’t matter but it matters to YOU and to other people as well. Stop worrying about what other people’s requirements are for dating and marriage and just worry about you and your needs.
Personally I can’t be physically attracted to to a person without being attracted to their personality. Personality can be the most attractive thing about a person.
Personality > Looks
What if you get injured in the gym and are immobilized and get fat. Will that person leave you because you don’t meet their look standards?
I’m giving an extreme example, but it’s not that physical attraction does not matter…it’s that looks can change and are not #1…are you ready for that? Or do you love the person for who they are. Do you have someone that’s a ride or die? Will you have someone that will pick you up at your bottom?
People go through relationships with looks as the #1 priority, but F up on the personality aspect and suffer later for it.
Because must times the super good looking person has none of the same moral and social beliefs, there nothing like how you hope they would be
It’s not a binary thing. Some people think attraction matters more than personality, some people think personality matters more than attraction, but it’s always both.
I can’t fuck someone I don’t like, regardless of what they look like, but I would prefer to have some level of attraction to someone I do like.
The more I like them as a person, the less the attraction matters.
Because it’ll will hurt the feelings of people who aren’t physically attractive
Not my personal opinion tho
Pretty sure this is a thing that only happens on social media
Because people want to be (or they want to at least seem) nice. Admitting that physical attraction matters means grappling with the reality that a lot of unattractive people are going to get the shaft when it comes to dating. People would rather live in a fantasy world where everyone finds love and looks don’t matter.
What I hear is “I don’t like fatties”
Brother, there are a lot of plus size women who look great. It’s all about how someone carries themselves. Dress decent, fix your hair, a little makeup…. There are plenty of skinny skanks. Sad that you could miss out on a deep meaningful relationship with someone because they aren’t a size 2P. You sound like a shallow high schooler. When you grow up you’ll realize that physical beauty fades, but inner beauty is forever.
Virtue signaling.
Because it doesn’t. At least, it shouldn’t be the only thing that matters.
Social media is not real life
Put the screen down and go interact with real actual human beings
I don’t know. My friends kind of have a similar approach when I ask about dating. They say I should chat up/go out with someone I’m not totally attracted to, even just to “practice”. Not only do I think that’s disrespectful to the other person, but I’d rather not feign interest in someone I’m not attracted to. Hell, that’s a small part of why I started exercising and losing weight this year. It’s not fair to the other party to expect them to be attracted to someone that’s physically unfit and unattractive when they can rectify that issue.
For a lot of people (including me) physical attraction is a lot more complicated than just looking at someone and feeling attracted or unattracted right away.
Physical attraction does matter, it just A. changes over time and B. can be triggered by something specific. As other people in this thread have mentioned, if you’re growing old with someone, both of your bodies are going to change.
Also, lots of men love big women…
Cause when guys like you try to put hard facts on what you think isnt attractive and considered “settling” you might as well say it dosent matter cause lots of different people are attracted to lots of different things. You can try and facts and statistics your ass all day to try and determine what someone will and will not like physically but you truly can’t speak for everyone in the end of the day
Cause when guys like you try to put hard facts on what you think isnt attractive and considered “settling” you might as well say it dosent matter cause lots of different people are attracted to lots of different things. You can try and facts and statistics your ass all day to try and determine what someone will and will not like physically but you truly can’t speak for everyone in the end of the day
You do know there are men who find big girls attractive right
Like a lot of them
Your friend’s problem isn’t that he “settled for a big girl,” his problem is that he’s willing to subject himself to a toxic relationship.
I see people talk about this on Reddit all the time. I’ve yet to meet someone who actually says looks don’t matter
Simply put a lot of people want others to FEEL good so they try to claim it’s shallow to go for looks.
This usually results in people getting with people that they are barely attracted to because they don’t want to look seem like a bad person and. Ow they’re effectively stuck in a relationship with someone they don’t like looking at.
I say F that, be shallow, if you don’t like looking at the person you are dating or in a relationship with then it WILL show up in some way, shape, or form and they’ll just feel bad anyway in the end
It’s not your responsibility to make someone else feel good about themselves and how they look, especially not while sacrificing your own personal morals and values
For me, it does still matter but all the women I keep talking too either are boring or play too many games. Being older now, personality counts more than looks almost, because I just want someone to talk too. Not just to have sex with.
Even then I lowered my standards.
when you get older you care more about the connection more than the looks. But it is the looks that draw you in.
I dont act like its not important. I say that looking good is not the most important for physical attraction. I dont want to sleep with a model. I want to sleep with a woman I like.
Who pretends that physical attraction doesn’t matter?
That being said, there is a point where looks matter less. Like I’d have to have a certain baseline level of attraction to someone to be interested in dating them but past that there are other factors which matter more. If she’s super good-looking that’s a great bonus on top, but I’d rather date a solid 6 who’s otherwise a great match than a 9/10 who’s generally a mediocre partner. I couldn’t enter a relationship with someone I see as a 3 or a 4 though, the baseline attraction I mentioned previously just isn’t there.
> Why do people think it’s more noble to settle for a big girl and then end up having a dead bedroom?
I do think that sometimes people will go for someone they’re less attracted to but New Relationship Energy fuels their early sex life and makes their partner look better to them. After a while NRE wears off, but a lot of people are shockingly lazy/weak about ending relationships that aren’t working for them anymore and they stay together because of inertia.
Edit: You also have to remember that for some people there are certain physical features which matter more than anything else, and those can make a person look more attractive to them than to others. As an example, I have a friend who loves big boobs. Not just in a sexual way, he thinks there’s just something overwhelmingly beautiful about a busty woman. He’s a pretty good looking and fit guy but he’s dated women who are less attractive overall or are kind of plump as long as they have really big breasts. To him, that makes them gorgeous.
It’s so they can pretend to be a better, more enlightened, person than you.
The confusing aspect of this to me is that attraction isn’t a binary on/off there’s a sense of who I’m MOST attracted to being somewhat out of reach and so I’m supposed to feel OK with going out with women who aren’t my first choice and just never bringing that up.
I feel like anxiety has ruined my sense of ‘giving it a shot’ with anyone I don’t feel absolutely taken by … and that it feels mean or manipulative to do otherwise.
Hey man there a reason why its qouted “ Love at first sight” not first personality.
I think for an instant attraction scenario physical attraction often matters. But for that slow rising tide of attraction to someone as a person, as you get to know them, looks don’t reduce the attraction.
Physical attraction helps in the beginning but I once met a girl I had zero attraction to and yet I gave her a chance and eventually, we connected on a deeper level and I was able to overcome the fact she was not very good looking. It’s not always the case obviously. When you use dating apps, you kind of have to rely on looks, so it depends on the situation.
For some it doesn’t matter much. For others, they just want less attractive people to shut up about it so they don’t have to hear it.
Nobody acts like physical attraction doesn’t matter. You’ve made that up.
Lots of people say “physical attraction isn’t ALL that matters”, which is true. But nobody thinks it doesn’t matter at all.
And if you need physical attraction first to even consider personality, then I am sorry, but you are a shallow person and are robbing yourself of a whole big wide world of experience. I am guessing you are very young, and just aren’t experienced enough yet to know better.
Almost everyone who has had a healthy robust romantic life, not just a sex life, but a romantic life, can probably think of at least a few cases of a person who, based only on physical appearance, like you stuck them in a line up, are nothing special, maybe not even attractive, but they were just so damn charming and wonderful and just clicked with you in such a way that you developed feelings for them and actually started to think they were beautiful, like your level of physical attraction to them actually grew because of how charmed and enamored you were with them as a person.
If you have never had that experience, then you are experiencing romance at a very shallow level and robbing yourself.
Physical attraction definitely matters. The same way you wouldn’t eat a meal if you don’t enjoy the ingredients, you wouldn’t and shouldn’t spend time with someone if you’re not attracted to them in every sense of the word. I’m a woman and physical attraction matters for me as well, but it’s not the end all and be all. It’s one of many little things that adds up to a greater sum. I just think sometimes men can be vilified more than women at times for having the same belief. Yes to be fair, there are times when people from either gender are just straight up shallow about it, and that shouldn’t be respected. But I think when someone is just being honest about what attracts them to a person, it’s fair. It kind of makes me think of what Marilyn Monroe said in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. The material things that attract you to a person can be helpful, but it shouldn’t be the only reason you’re attracted to a person.
Sigh… Your perception of “attractive” doesn’t mean everyone else on this planet shares it. Many men find bigger women very attractive.
“Looks draw me in, personality makes me stay”.
I suppose each person has different viewpoints but this is how I always saw it.
If you’re wanting to pick a hot girl to marry or something it seems facetious though. Physical attraction doesn’t mean shit when you’re going on 50+ and someone with personality is all you’ll have.
Ask yourself, who does this narrative most benefit, and you’ll find the people perpetuating it the most.
You’re allowed to find someone with a shit personality and a nice ass. Some people choose the opposite. Some find both. I’d say long term maybe consider your deterioration? Nobody is hot forever, but it’s cool to have a BFF through it all.
I think you might be projecting a bit. Unless your buds go into full detail on how they get down, they likely love and are attracted to their partners.
Physical attraction is the appetizer. But that’s only part of a successful meal.
I completely understand and I am a woman. . Think how bad off women were who have those arranged marriages and have to marry ugly old men?
They don’t want to seem shallow. Looks matter a lot especially if you’re a man. I’ve seen women just throw themselves at extremely handsome men.
I actually got downvoted once for saying it’s delusional to believe looks don’t matter (not that I’m glad about it but let’s be real..) there might be people who are completely indifferent about looks but definitely not the majority.
I think people who act like that are fake and acting to get more applauds from others. It is similar to your ex saying, “The problem is not yours, it was mine, and I need to take a break….”
One thing I know is that physical attraction is extremely important for both genders, especially more important to men. I know each man has his own preferences on his partner physical appearance, but men love by his eyes and if a girl is a model, but she does not have what he finds attractive, I don’t think he would maintain a long healthy relationship. In also apply to girl, too, because I know each woman has her own appearances on physcial attraction. Some girls like men with long hair, some girls like men with a beer belly, and some girls like men with tatoos.
It’s just one more BS philosophy pushed on us by people with nonfunctional ideals.
People be like “Oh my spouse is my best friend”. Oh really? Do you do that with your best friend? No?
So there’s a difference between friends and lovers after all?
Of course there is. The difference is sex. And anyone having it with someone that they don’t want to is involved in a hostage situation.
Attraction matters.
Because personality is a thing? Look up the term called shallow. It seems like it fits you.
Physical does matter to a certain extent but to some people it’s not high on the list. I have been in serious relationship with someone I did not find physically attractive. Not to say they were ugly. But to me the emotional connection and personality were so amazing I did not care about the physical. I don’t think love depends on physical attraction but it definitely helps. Also after being in a relationship with a super attractive person it goes down over tome. You see celebrities cheat on their beautiful wives with some of the least conventionally attractive women. So to me at the end physical attraction doesn’t matter. If you value health and fitness obviously you won’t date someone obese. But then I would say I would be willing to date someone physically fit but her face is not that attractive
As a short guy, I can definitely tell you that physical absolutely matter. I’ve tried working out, advancing in my career, starting a skin routine, dressing better and maxing out my looks as much as I possibly can and I’m still the butt of jokes and get overlooked by women in bars, clubs, dating apps etc. I’ve decided to just give up entirely on dating and finding someone who finds me attractive and I’ll end up killing myself at some point.
At least for me I find that physical attraction can be influenced massively by a good personality. I’ve been with a lot of people that initally I wouldn’t have said I was attracted to, but the connection was so strong that I couldn’t keep my hands off of them.
Real. Many people are moralistic by saying that personality counts, but then they are the first to date a beautiful girl with no personality.
Because they’re afraid of being perceived as shallow, and would be offended if you said that everyone judges a book by its cover even a little bit (which is objectively true).
Ask someone with this view if they’d date someone from my 600 LB life lmao
Everyone is equal and you’re not supposed to judge lol.
I always say of course it matters, but not everyone views everyone the same. Just because the majority thinks someone is or isn’t attractive doesn’t have anything to do with whether I think they are attractive. But you definitely have to have some level of attraction
Because feminism has normalized nothing being expected from women while they enjoy all the benefits of society that men built.
Keep on downvoting single moms and captain save a hoes. The truth hurts but it’s the truth.
This conversation always reminds me of that trope of a girl saying: “Cindy is soo beautiful!” (When Cindy is objectively not beautiful)… So in response, the BF says “Yeah, she looks just like you!” and suddenly the girl’s noticeably upset, and apparently her feelings regarding “Cindy’s” beauty have vanished.
I call this trend righteous masturbation. Where people are so eager to feel like they are saying something politically correct and empowering that they will say feels good self-help booklet stuff without actually doing it themselves and they have deluded themselves to believe they do not expect fancy criteria or preference when it comes to others when they in fact definitively do so they can cope by believing they are not hypocrite when they most likely are.
> I have friends with low self esteem settling for toxic big girls and they’re all depressed because they feel no attraction to their partner
I did this during a phase where I had no self worth. Stayed with her for 9 years and slowly improved myself, and when we split I took a few months off of dating.
Now, my current partner is everything I have ever wished for in a girlfriend and I’m glad I didn’t settle this time around.
NEVER date someone simply because you’re lonely, or you will live to regret it.
Honestly it depends on every person some people may agree with you others will not. I will say ofc you have to have some sort of attraction, it might not be their appearance 100% but it could be something else even if they’re not build like some ethereal goddess. When you really care, love and cherish someone so dearly looks do not matter as much
Who acts like physical attraction doesn’t matter? I don’t think I’ve ever met one.
It matters to a degree, but physical looks deteriorate with age. So if that is the only thing going in your relationship, you’ll eventually fall out of love.
>I refuse to date a woman that I’m not physically attracted to.
I’m right there with you, OP. I’ve sexually been with a variety of good looking, average and below average girls but only ever pursued something serious with girls I found on my attraction level. I think modern dating has skewed roles so far people almost don’t know how to healthily compromise in a relationship. (IMO) You don’t drop your tastes, preferences and standards to the point where you’re in an unhealthy relationship, compromise is important but not to that degree.
>Love works best when you have both physical attraction and personality.
Couldn’t have worded it any better. Both parties don’t have to be equally 6’s or 8’s but there’s a saying about how men typically date down and women typically date up that I think modern dating and internet services like Instagram and Tinder have skewed in ways no one could have predicted lol.
Many people say things that they wish were true, rather than what they actually know to be true. They say it doesn’t matter, because they don’t like that it matters.
Mostly virtue signaling. I see it on this sub all the time. “Hurrr durrr, looks don’t matter to me, her personality is what matters!” Yeah, right. I’m sure you’re just jumping at the opportunity to date a hideous 600 lb chick because she has a nice personality.
Looks absolutely matter and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I think people downplay physical attraction because theyre trying to avoid shallow criticism or because they genuinely believe its not the most important factor in a relationship.
People wrongly assume that physical attraction means society’s standard of conventionally attractive. Which is does not.
OP sounds kinda like a gym rat, so he wants someone that takes care of their body, and that’s fine. I find thicker girls more attractive but they still need to have a shape and ideally a very pretty face. These are preferences and are fine to have.
No one should be settling for some gelatinous blob or rail-thin waif unless that’s what they want. There’s no timer on finding a relationship and people that settle for the inappropriate partner just perpetuate the whole bullshit thing of “attraction doesn’t matter”.
It does – marry someone you wanna bone from here until one of you dies. The rest will figure itself out.
Not everyone finds the same things attractive.
I’m convinced because most people aren’t attractive, so they lower their standards and convince themselves otherwise.
Because it’s the unattractive women that say these things so you can date them
Don’t think about these people (idk who are even these). Have your standards.
If a woman found out their man went to lunch with a female coworker, and l she asked someone to describe what the coworker looked like, she would not have the same reaction if they were described as resembling Lizzo vs saying she’s a triathlete, let’s be real. No one is gonna say “oh she looks like Lizzo?? Omg so shes beautiful!!?”
Did your friends tell you that they’re depressed and unattracted OP, or is it an assumption?
Ime I rarely emphasize physical attraction in the context of advice because it’s obviously an important factor. It’s like if someone is complaining about getting bad sleep, I’m not going to start out going “have you considered turning off lights” because I respect their autonomy enough to solve that part of the equation.
Outside the context of advice I don’t think I see this come up in my circles.