I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about a year now, and while things are going well, we haven’t had a deep conversation about our sexual histories or past relationships.
I’ve asked her a few surface-level questions when the topic naturally came up, and she’s always answered clearly and openly. I’ve also shared bits of my own past, but she’s never asked me anything similar.
So now I’m wondering:
- How much detail is appropriate to share if she doesn’t bring it up?
- Should I wait for her to ask, or is it okay to initiate that conversation?
- Are there any topics we should be careful or intentional about avoiding?
I want to be honest and respectful without overstepping or making things awkward. Thanks in advance for any advice.
PS: I’m not originally from the US, so sometimes I feel a bit out of sync with the dating culture here.
Comments
Since you shitlords like to delete your posts, here’s an original copy of the post’s text (if available):
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about a year now, and while things are going well, we haven’t had a deep conversation about our sexual histories or past relationships.
I’ve asked her a few surface-level questions when the topic naturally came up, and she’s always answered clearly and openly. I’ve also shared bits of my own past, but she’s never asked me anything similar.
So now I’m wondering:
I want to be honest and respectful without overstepping or making things awkward. Thanks in advance for any advice.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Don’t. It’s that simple. No good comes out of it.
I’m interested in what she likes, not how she found out she likes it. I wouldn’t ask about it at all.
I choose not to. It’ll either make someone insecure or question you if the count is higher than what they think is the norm.
Nothing good typically comes from this conversation with your partner. Why are you so eager to have this conversation? What are you looking to get out of it?
What are you trying to get out of this conversation?
I can understand wanting to know about relationships – has this person been engaged, been divorced, cheated on someone, etc. but sexual history?
I don’t get it.
Why do you want to know????
You’re not discovering shit
You’re not planting a flag nowhere
Do you really care about her past?
If you do, why?
Make sure you really want to know and truly understand why you want to know.
In my opinion, surface level, basic info is all you should want: have you been married/engaged before?
Have you had any long term relationships?
How many serious relationships have you had?
Outside of that… nothing really matters.
I find marionettes or hand puppets work great. Everything seems more light hearted with puppets.
No, it’s not creepy that I have puppet versions of all my exes!
Edit: I misread. I thought you were sharing your history. Damn. Well, check her closet and see how many puppets she has.
I’ve always started with, “do you want to ruin your day? Keep asking. “
Anal
Edit. Nice use of chatgpt and botting. Use anal
It’s really not important to talk about the past unless you have an STD or children. I wish more people would disclose they have HIV instead just passing it around to everyone they can screw intentionally. I used to have a friend I had to drop because she kept sleeping with men I was dating and intentionally giving them HIV. Thankfully I’m still negative because I dropped all the men she slept with and her as a friend. She wanted me to be as miserable as her raggedy ass.
Don’t ask,
Don’t tell.
Why do you want to open that Pandora’s box? Does it really matter to you? If the answer is yes, then you should have had that conversation before starting to date. You are already dating so why does it matter now?
As it comes up naturally in conversation, or not at all if it never does.
We did after we were married at some point. No big deal.
Im assuming many people will say its not necessary and essentially taboo but i find it more refreshing as i get older. If someone doesn’t want to talk about their past that is obviously their right but if i was back in the dating world i would see that as a mismatch. I think talking about these things opens up so much opportunity for closeness and intimacy. I would start with an open dialogue about that being important to you and your reasons why. I think she will be able to sense the tiptoeing and assume the worst, that shes being judged as damaged goods for her body count. If that’s not the case then assure her of that and tell her your intentions for understanding and building something more solid than each of you have had in the past. I personally think its a mistake not to and its a big reason why some people find their soul mate so late in life. At least thats what ive noticed in the people around me.
Enthusiastically
You don’t.
I have never sat down and wanted to know about anyone I was with’s sexual history, nor have I wanted to discuss mine.
A lot more negative will come from such a discussion rather than positives.
Same goes for wanting to know body counts.
You will just be potentially poisoning what could be a perfect relationship by wanting to know things that at this point in time don’t/no longer matter.
This is an unnecessary conversation.
You both have a past. Leave things there and commit to each other now and forward.
Well, I’d start with a PowerPoint presentation showing timelines, locations, circumstances, and any special methods/ techniques applied…
Don’t do it, man. Seriously.
Don’t.
Just don’t.
Why do you want to know about that ?
Huh…?
ask her body count asap
What would be the point?
It’s a quick way to ruin everything.
Why would you? Unless you have STDs, what’s there to disclose about your past?