For me it’s the fact that I am not sexually attractive. So it was not really decision, more of consequence.
For men who decided to stay single, what is your reason?
r/AskMen
For me it’s the fact that I am not sexually attractive. So it was not really decision, more of consequence.
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For me it’s the fact that I am not sexuality attractive. So it was not really decision, more of consequence.
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Very kind of you to call it a “decision.”
I stayed single for 5 years because I didn’t feel like it, was just too depressed to love someone.
Yea I don’t have a choice, I’m not the best looking and also very introverted
Finally found peace and working on myself physically, financially and mentally. First time in years I’ve been stable cuz of meds and I want to keep it this way, also most people suck at communicating in my age range and I don’t have a high tolerance for that (26)
For a lot of men, becoming un-single requires a tremendous amount of effort.
I have no sex drive
I hate being touched
Physical intimacy repulses me
And I prefer to be alone
At least, those were the reasons years ago when I met a few girls who were apparently interested
Now, it’s not a decision, but if it was it’s still the one I’d pick
Just too sexy over here.
When you reach this level it literally causes malfunctions and overload in women’s radar system. They become blind to it. So when I walk in a room, even though I’m the sexiest, no one else can sense it.
Blessing and a curse really.
I’m unattractive, I have very negative views and beliefs about relationships and women in general. I dont trust anyone and don’t enjoy the company of others.
Never felt the need for a partner.
Bharmachrya.. It’s the only reason I am in peace and enjoying…
Feeling of getting behind in life , it’s over
I think I’m pretty decent. 7/10 on a good day.
But there are two main reasons why I’m single.
I enjoy freedom too much and don’t like being told what to do. Ever. A series of short relationships over the span of 20+ years have told me that I probably wasn’t build for anything long term. No big loss for me. Saves me a lot of heartache actually.
Love does not exist
I’m in the ‘consequence’ group too! I’m really not sure where I stand on the attractiveness scale, but the negative comments weigh more heavily in my head and indeed they align better with what I see in photos and mirrors. I don’t know if I have the fortitude to be rejected by a girl, and also I’ve never really talked to a girl even platonically before, so it’s almost like talking to a different species.
Early childhood abuse and neglect left me unable to form normal attachments to others. I guess I didn’t actually decide.
Every girl I tried dating is high school and college was just depressing.
Most acted interested and then turned out they were just looking for “revenge” to show their ex that they haven’t moved on from yet (only to break up within 6 months or less so they could go back to the ex.)
Got tired of trying to make each one happy without focusing on myself or having any real appreciation.
Also, rent is expensive as hell – I can hardly afford it, let alone afford a girlfriend.
Ehh I don’t like what I’ve seen from woman here in America so I choose peace
Bro, life isn’t set in stone! Being sexually attractive is all about being confident within yourself. If you only view yourself as not attractive, guess what, your mind might even start to believe you!
I wish you all the best, and being single when completely ok with it is ofcourse fine. But it’s useless to lie to yourself and say ‘im single because im this way and can’t change’. At least be honest with yourself: ‘im single because i dont like the way I feel RIGHT NOW, and because of that I dont feel sexually attractive’.
Be truly honest with yourself is the first step, and seek help if you can to see if you can feel better about yourself. No consequence is permanent is life, as nothing in life is permanent.
Being in a relationship just requires too much damn effort and I’m a lazy fuck. I discovered this when I was married.
Right now I’m staying single because I might get another job in the next year or so and need to move. I don’t like starting a relationship when I have plans that might cause the relationship to fail.
I just flat out don’t want to deal with another person or their needs. Then again, I’m in my 30’s now and spent most of my 20’s married so that might be why.
I’ve grown to enjoy the peace that being single brings. Possibly a little too much, some may say. I enjoy my independence, and I can do what I want when I want. I used to have a large group of friends and was in other people’s company all the time.
Now I tend to spend the majority of my time on my own and I rather enjoy it more. I’ve tried dating but I’ve found I’ve grown bored of it quickly. I just like peace and I like not having to check with someone to see if I can do something or whatever.
I experienced around 1000 rejections from women during the time when I was 16 to 32 years old.
I realized that I did not enjoy dating. Now I focus on my hobbies (powerlifting, music), my successful career and my platonic friends. If I meet someone with whom I could see a future with, then I might change my decision, but for now I’ve decided to stay single and mostly happy.
I’ll probably be downvoted but 98% of the men answering here just can’t find the right woman because they are unattractive, lacking personality, or come off as strange to their ideal, “perfect woman.”
I used to give every answer commented here too but then I found a great woman that completes me and makes me better. She’s my future wife. Dudes don’t like to accept that it’s them though…..and I get that too.
“I want my freedom,” you haven’t found the right woman. “They always prove they’re not worth my time,” you haven’t found the right woman. “I don’t need anyone in my life,” humans are social animals, you’ve literally just formed this belief in your head (and what, you’re just going to die alone?) When men can start owning up to the fact that it’s actually them, things change for the better.
Peace of mind.
Seems like a losing battle for men
There are some really homely guys getting laid and that are in relationships. Get out there and meet some ladies!
I trruely love you guys. Your decision to be a celibate gives average guys like me a much better pole position. Love goes out to all of you.
Although I’m not single now I was until 28 and never had a relationship before then
Looking back it was a mix, like other people have said of just enjoying my own company and a search for an ideal person that in reality was just unrealistic.
I wanted someone who has the exact mindset and hobbies that I had and the problem was that they’re very introverted so I had no idea how to meet someone like that.
Like people used to tell me I should go to nightclubs and meet someone. But I don’t drink nor do I like going to nightclubs so why would I want to meet someone who does?!
Too many personal issues.
I never dated as a youth I got turned down every time. I kept trying well into my 30’s then when I was in my 30’s a so called friend set me up with a woman he knew. only to find out a few days later I was just being used to make someone else jealous. after that I swore off dating all together.
Modern dating is a disaster and not worth the time, money or energy anymore.
Whenever I meet someone I am overwhelming with all the things I do. I will rattle off 30 hobbies cultures and communities as well as jobs and projects and most women are like oh I work X basic job and scroll tiktok with my cats. I am also allergic to cats so 90% of women won’t work out for me sadly they all have 3 cats…
I’m not exact fighting them off with a shitty stick, so the choice was more or less made for me
last relationship was very toxic. been like 3-4 years now. lucky if i get a match on any dating apps then when the date comes it just feels dull and i lose interest. i’m also not good at communication. then ofc there are standards i have that ppl say i should drop which is no single mothers, no toxic argumentative women and no drug addicts nor morbidly obese. i just want a good woman to match my energy attraction respect and value. not just a entitled woman that wants to take and take without giving.
i’m addicted to the peace and quiet of being alone
Last girlfriend was mixed personalities, suffered alot with her own demons and past, and was alot , last almost 4 years I think, she’s still a really good friend and I talk and see her all the time pretty much, but because of my experiences with her I don’t want to date anyone and want to enjoy life and travel.
I was in a toxic relationship ten years ago or so. Since then, I’ve been to prison twice, intermittently homeless, never had a stable living or work situation, and had a lot of personal issues. I’m five years sober and haven’t met anyone that I really like. I’m going back to school and have other priorities.
Bipolar. One minute I lovem, the next minute I cant stand them. I stopped dating because I kept breaking hearts and got tired of being the monster.
Better single than being with a toxic partner
Dont know if I choose to stay single. Im open to dating if I meet the right woman and it goes good but I’d still rather be single than being in a toxic relationship
I had a wonderful relationship for several years in my 20’s and saw myself spending the rest of my life with her.
She unfortunately died while we were together.
I was a complete mess for about a decade after.
I can’t go through that again. I know it’s unlikely the same thing will happen again… But I’m just closed.
I enjoy sex. I like women. I can date. I can attract women. But after a month or two, feelings get involved and I panic and leave.
love you forever, K.
I don’t really enjoy being around people
I could never trust a woman. My last relationship, she was a huge narcissist and help me mentally stuck. I am a wheelchair user and she would tell me that I am never gonna find anybody else, I’m lucky that I have her, I am a burden, nobody would want somebody disable, I’m not even attractive to her, she is only with me out of sympathy and that shit got to me and it stuck with me for a long damn time. Constant sexual abuse and rape simply because I was confident that nobody would want me because I’m in a wheelchair. Eventually, I got the courage to tell her to get the fuck away from me and all of a sudden, I became the villain apparently. I’ve had a few relationship after, and all of them have been really healthy, my last one was extremely healthy, but it’s still in my head that I’m not good enough for a relationship. And now I’ve accepted and tried to come to terms with it.
I have to support one of my family financially so I live with them(I cover all bills and give them enough to have a bit of spending money) and at my age it is awkward to explain without the very strong feeling you are considered a loser.
I’d rather be single than not do right by someone that has always looked out for me.
I like variety and dislike not being able to do whatever I want.
Was married for 20 years. I found myself divorced at 50. It’s been quite nice rediscovering myself on my own terms. I’m not opposed to a new relationship, I’m afraid I’ve set the bar so high, it might be impossible to find the right one.
The idea of being with someone is nice to me, but I tend to get indifferent and lack interest if I see the person every day. It’s like I need to miss that so I can look for it and I believe it works both ways. I can’t imagine seeing the same person when I wake up and going to bed, let alone spending all day with that someone.
If I date someone who’d agree to live each one in separate houses, that’d be perfect, although I understand people think the complete opposite.
They are only fun for a few months and then we eventually get bored with each other. Most people I’ve dated have been a drain financially or emotionally or both.
Still getting my shit together and I don’t wanna string some poor girl along for however long it takes me to get there
In a relationship, you have to compromise. You have to, at least to some extent, adapt your life in function of someone else. Being single is my comfort zone.
Sure it’s not always ideal, but for me it felt better.
I’m depressed and have social anxiety. I’m just scared of people I guess and dont have a lot of motivation. To my surprise I do get swipes on apps but never really take it anywhere.
I was single for 3 decades, and then had short relationship for about months. I just prefer being single lol
I never found the idea of having to pursue someone I was going to have to take care of as a good deal. Where I’m from women see themselves as the prize a man should pursue and have money for. If I have to protect and provide how are you the prize? That ideology seemed backwards to me. The one that provides a comfortable life is really the prize. Most men were brainwashed by this ideology but I saw it at a young age.
Plus I’d see men married 10 years or more complaining about no sex and just generally looking like their soul has been drained. And I’d think why would I sign up for that?
It finally dawned on me that, despite achieving everything you’re ‘supposed’ to achieve in order to make yourself a man of worth, it still wasn’t good enough to get a woman to settle for me. Whatever I bring to the table, women aren’t interested.
After considering this situation for a bit, I realized one day that there’s not a single thing I can offer a woman that she can’t find in a wealthier, or better-looking, or more attentive, or more giving, or more [insert variable here] package, with but a few more swipes, or a few more conversations. And that, no matter what I do, that will never change – there will always a bigger, better fish, and she’ll pick him over me.
Once i accepted that reality, the decision became easy, because it was more or less out of my hands. Everything I’ve accomplished in my 42 years – my educational attainments, my income, my career, my living situation, my social life, my hobbies, my skills, my personal accomplishments – means nothing, because it failed to achieve the goal: make myself good enough to be worth choosing.
Don’t get me wrong, it sucks all sorts of donkey dick, and it deeply hurts when I see my friends or other people who were good enough to find somebody enjoying their partner’s company, but it only bothers me when I think about it. So, I try not to think about it.
I’ve been told, as recently as last month, that I’m a 5 on a good day, and I should be grateful for any attention I can get. It’s a problem I don’t know how to solve, so there’s no point thinking about it. Being single won’t kill me – or, it’s in no special hurry to – so I can adapt and learn to live with it.
No one wants me, so single life it is.
I’m introverted and have hobbies I do at home (except the gym). Also I’m not hot enough so that girls are all over me and since I’m not going up to strangers there is no chance to get to know too many new people
Dating apps are the same, not hot enough for them
I just got fed up of rejection. Which is on me, I realised I don’t really bring anything of value to the table. So I’m focussing on me, making changes to my life and lifestyle, getting therapy, then in a couple of years I’ll give it another go
I’ve gotten tired of dealing with either constant rejection or the girl being taken already
Truth is i got used to it, and once you get used its hard to change
hard to find the right woman. but when i do they’re already married to their job, i’m the side piece. still looking and having fun.
Nobody could handle me. I really get such compliment often. One of the person I was really looking forward to stay forever said nobody could live with you, you are annoying and arrogant and egoist. So I prefer to live single.
The commentary here does not disappoint.