Very Experienced Men of reddit. What’s your beginners guide for flirting with women?
Very Experienced Men of reddit. What’s your beginners guide for flirting with women?
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Very Experienced Men of reddit. What’s your beginners guide for flirting with women?
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Just be nice, be kind, ask her questions and listen. My real advice is to be patient. It was my experience that I was a nice guy and I was not what women were looking for in their early to mid 20’s. By the time I was 30 – it was a whole new ballgame…..women who passed on me got back in touch. Play the long game, nice guys do win.
Ask their friend out first. They love that
Remember, 9 times out of 10 funny gets the fanny. Just relax, be friendly, have a wee bit of swagger and don’t try too hard. I always did alright with women just by being that way.
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Be genuinely curious about who they are.
Make things light.
Be funny.
Groom well. Don’t look like a creep.
Have hobbies.
Be interested in her hobbies.
Don’t be over nice…otherwise straight into the “friends zone”
Stop caring. Don’t take them seriously. When they try to act serious, make fun of them. Don’t discuss “deep” things keep it all surface level. Randomly ignore them from time to time, then give them attention, then ignore them again. Don’t reveal too much about yourself — give vague open ended answers about who you are and what you do. Let her imagination fill in the blanks.
And again — dont care.
Be yourself, but most of all, be funny. Humor drops knickers better than muscles and good looks.
Dont force it, you will sence when there is a connection.
How i met your mother stated it best, its a numbers game. Out of 10 women you talk to, 1 will be a flirt, get those number up!
Be nice, be polite, be respectful.
Edit: Oh, an mabey the most important bit. You dont flirt to have sex, you have sex accendentaly becous you are a flirty, charming, son of a gun. If you put out ”i want to fuck you” vibes, women tend to shy away.
to act completely natural, be mindful.
Train being witty and quick minded. Don’t be afraid to make a little fun of yourself and her in playful way. When you notice she’s interested, you can throw some more attraction based jokes in the mix. If she responds to that well, add some touching, see how she responds. Make eye contact, but don’t be constantly trying to stare into her eyes. If you are in place where dancing isn’t weird, dance with them. The women I like do not like macho behavior and appreciate people that don’t take themselves too seriously.
In general, be playful. Make eye contact
Never fully give them the attention they crave. Always leave them wanting more.
not “very” experienced, but
less is more. there’s a fine line between confidence and cockiness. once that’s cracked you’ll have a field day
Women want to hang out with guys that look like they are having a good time. Light hearted, playful and as others have said, funny.
Even if you are good looking, hanging out in the corner looking cool isn’t going to attract women unless you are exceptionally handsome.
At the end of the day, you’ll have to suck it up and overcome the fear of rejection. Learn to handle it with grace.
Abundance mindset and humor. None of them are special and if one doesn’t like you, the next one will. Just enjoy the experience. Talk to them, get comfortable with being told no, and make some friends that are women. Talk to them and ask questions. Sometimes, the best way to catch a fish is to ask the fish.
My wife says i flirt without trying, My go to when it comes to relationships is always be funny and friendly.
Be the person you want to meet
Be fun and easy going, ask questions. If you’re naturally funny lean into it, but don’t force it.
Just don’t get too attached & don’t be clingy/annoying. You can do it OP.
As others said, be playful. Funny things like running at them full speed in a poorly lit parking lot
Women very often say things they don’t mean and will, in fact, make their own lived experience horrible if you allow them to steer the conversation/relationship. Eventually, you have to sort of learn to brute force them INTO their own comfort zone because, for some reason, women’s brains work this way.
Dont
Eye contact. Ask them questions. Specific compliments. Don’t just say “you’re beautiful.” They’ve been told that before by a hundred idiots in their DMs. Usually there’s a particular thing that catches your eye. Compliment that. Eye contact. Be fucking random! Being random makes you memorable. You want to know a great ice breaker? Go to a woman and say “I was just reading on Reddit a man asking experienced men how to flirt with women. What advice would you give?” All while making eye contact! Eye contact shows confidence. A lot of ugly fucks out there getting laid because they have confidence in their ugly asses.
Get in therapy (or therapeutic plant medicine), lose your layers of defense, develop emotional intelligence and maturity, and be unapologetically, authentically, yourself. (who would’ve thought that “just be yourself” is actually solid advice. Sadly many men don’t know who they are actually because most are acting our of unconscious patterns)
In all honesty just be normal.
take care of yourself first, you don’t have to be shredded, but you should at least appear well put together, decent haircut, basic hygiene, well fitted clothes, well groomed if you have a beard.
Your appearance is 90% of the way there.
The other 9% is having the guts to accept that you have to put your heart out there and that you might get told no, or that they are not interested. And if they say no you can try to turn it around into a yes, on the second no take the hint and take a hike, nothing will turn a woman off more than a man being desperate or annoying.
The rest is just building rapport, ask about them, listen to understand what they are saying, and have a good conversation about each other’s interests.
Also have good vocabulary, it helps to keep a conversation engaging, and not make you look foolish and childish, reading helps to build a good vocabulary.
Edit: forgot to add once you feel like you’ve actually gotten to the point of having enough conversation, or if the night is coming to an end make sure you seal the deal, as in ask for a following date and number.
Just flop it on the table and ask “what’re we going to do about this?” While gesturing towards your meat hose
Only flirt once you’re seeing signs of attraction. Before then, treat her like any other woman.
Once you start flirting, a lot of it is non verbal at first. Approaching her personal space is a good start usually. Not imposing, but seeing if she backs off if you get closer or start leaning in.
The sexiest part of a man’s body is his wallet.
The answer is don’t flirt. Have a conversation.
The best advice for flirting is to not focus on flirting. Be outgoing and friendly, talk to everyone, be someone who comes across as just fun. Too many guys at bars immediately go into “flirt” mode which comes across as desperate.
When I was single, my buddy and I would literally just talk to everyone, including cute girls but have a quick exchange and move on. No hitting on them, no “let me buy you a drink” etc. More often than not, you would run into that same girl later in the evening/night and she would want to talk to you.
Women can sense desperation in men and it is a turn off for most women. Be that fun guy, and women will want to talk to you.
What makes men experienced is, ironically, not the number of hits but their number of misses. Everybody is going to have people that like them and people that don’t and unfortunately the only way to figure out which ones or which is to meet them.
Mark Manson told a story where a guy he was with had a terrible (and to be frank derogatory) pickup line. But he dropped it on literally every woman in the bar and sure enough by the end of the night found some woman that thought it was funny and took her home.
The takeaway for that SHOULD NOT be that offending people, or even pick up lines in general, are the key to success. The takeaway should be that the willingness to be rejected and keep going is the point.
The first step is to, well, talk. You need to leave the house to do this. Then, be casual, tell terrible jokes, be yourself.
Try talking to them as human beings. That generally helps. If you go into it with an objective that will hamstring you. Just be honest and then when that doesn’t work go to the gym and get some mental health help then go at it again then when that doesn’t work give up and the woman of your dreams will go out with some loser like me instead because I brought her a drink and told her she was cute.
Make sure you open your eyes as widely as you can, so you can see all the whites of your eyes. You need to be calm, so take lots of shallow breathes really quickly. If you’re nervous, don’t be afraid to fidget with your trouser zipper. Approach her quickly whilst maintaining constant eye contact (it shows confidence). Keep breathing quickly. Don’t blink (it shows attentiveness). If she tries to move away from you, grab her wrists tightly (it shows leadership).
There isn’t one. I can give you a quick tutorial on basic conversational skills, and various things you should avoid in general when speaking in public, and basic reading of body language and over time you’ll develop your style.
But unless you got it like that that – which you don’t for those who do don’t waste time asking others shit like this, they’re too busy dealing with all the women flirting with them – it’s just practice and has to be confidence based.
Know how those you refer to as experienced men gained said experience? By experiencing. If you’re out here opening thy mouth and saying something with a single iota of uncertainty or BS, you’re toast whether or not she’s nice enough with it to instantly shut you down, or still kind hearted enough (or if in uncertain territory) to pretend listening to you until she’s got a strong out.
If serious and willing to commit to actually learning, chemical-low209-san, I will teach.
Progress is ultimately determined by the hunger & resiliency of the student, but can guarantee by summers end you’ll know please AND thank you.
Be confident. Be funny/playful. Talk to them like you would your guy friends. And lastly, tell them your dick is enormous.
Do it for fun with no agenda.
Eye contact and smiling
Get practice in every day
Don’t pretend someone you are not.
Talk to people, not just women.
Respond to the things they say, instead of waiting for them to finish so you can start talking.
The best tip is not to care about the result.
The second best tip is to look good while doing that.