For me, example, I am an anxious avoidant kind of person (not diagnosed but bear a strong resemblance to symptoms), so when people say, ‘guys will not talk to each other for years and still be friends because that’s how guys are’, I usually find myself blind sided by this statement because if my friends don’t reciprocate for a month at max, I feel like we are done. I am right like 50% of the time. And there are a couple more things that are ‘it’s a guy thing’ like guys don’t clean, or they can live with a bare minimum amount of things in a room, etc. that I do not relate to. Does anybody relate?
What are some behaviours that are labelled as ‘male stereotype’ or ‘its a guy thing’ you don’t relate with?
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For me, example, I am an anxious avoidant kind of person (not diagnosed but bear a strong resemblance to symptoms), so when people say, ‘guys will not talk to each other for years and still be friends because that’s how guys are’, I usually find myself blind sided by this statement because if my friends don’t reciprocate for a month at max, I feel like we are done. I am right like 50% of the time. And there are a couple more things that are ‘it’s a guy thing’ like guys don’t clean, or they can live with a bare minimum amount of things in a room, etc. that I do not relate to. Does anybody relate?
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Being overly competitive for no reason. Calm doon big man, you can have the last word / win the pub quiz / have the point in a friendly game of tennis.
The generalization that men don’t clean doesn’t ring true for me either. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen lots of men who are total slobs. But I lived on my own for a long time and developed pretty strict cleaning routines. I also have a skincare routine and a therapist, if that’s still going against the stereotype grain.
The obsession with beer and boobs. Neither of them are very interesting to me.
Sports. I’ll watch them if they’re on, but I have zero interest in following a team or a league. Football especially (American football), I just don’t understand the appeal.
getting mad or upset over sports
Correlating masculinity with skills that relate to working with your hands, or physique (ex. Working on cars, home repairs, blue collar vs. white collar etc.) never understood it. In my opinion masculinity and being a good man is how you handle responsibility and treat others. I am not a mechanic, I’m not a carpenter, I don’t know how to fix or build everything. Some things sure but there are a lot of people that know much more than me. Never once felt like less of a man bc of it and certainly do not judge other men based off of that criteria.
Cheating and sports, Ive been cheated on and could never ever put someone through that and its really just not my character, and sports are just really boring lol.
I’d have to say sports
Dudes who just absolutely have to tell you the girls they want to fuck.
Being incapable or unlikely to take care of a home or a kid. I do most of the cooking and day to day cleaning. I don’t know who would be better with kids but everything I’ve experienced with my partner leads me to believe it would be me.
Being into cars. I don’t know shit about fuck about cars.
Not cooking. I LOVE cooking.
It contributing to “non-masculine” house chores. I do most of the routine chores like mopping and the bathrooms.
I suck with tools. I never did muscle building. I can cry at weird things or watching Titanic.
I hate watching sports.
I don’t see the appeal unless you have money in the game.
Dudes make it their entire personality and I just don’t understand it.
I’ve been told that men get offended when women hold doors open for them.
In my full time capacity as a man, I think that’s ridiculous. It’s a polite thing people do for people, right?
A few things come to mind:
Dudes sharing their girls nudes with other dudes. That shit always bothered me and is one of the most disgusting things you can do. If you’re a guy who does this, I hope you seriously look at yourself and realize what a pathetic person you are.
Steak, or meat in general. Just not crazy about it. I like bacon, though.
I don’t think they diagnose attachment style lol I do think the not talking applies to me in a way that I have friends from since i was a kid. We do not live in the same city or country and only see each other every 2-5 years if we visit home town same time. And our friendship is the same as if it was yesterday.
For me the one is men like playing sports I hate playing sports most my life. Men can fix things. I can’t fix anything would have to learn through youtube or hire someone. Men like boobs or women kissing. Boobs are alright but I notice more men with great bodies in the gym then i do women. As for women kissing I never understood why guys like it and don’t like lesbian porn either
-Uninterested by the idea of intercourse (even when I tried watching dirty images or videos, those or just the body parts involved, are an instant turn-off).
-No enjoyment watching sports.
-Not good with tools.
-Not interested in cars to the extent of knowing them by name.
I have a list.
Building stuff or fixing stuff or just being good with your hands. I have no idea why this is put so high on a pedestal when it comes to men. Can I fix a leaky faucet? Probably not but I never lie and I cook my ass off. I’m not sure why being able to fix a leaky faucet trumps the other two for a lot of people.
I hate leading. Making decisions all the time is fucking exhausting.
Not a big red meat eater. I also don’t like to grill.
I’m allergic to basically everything outside, so don’t like outdoor crap.
Sports are boring. The only one I do like going to games for is hockey.
Dudes who arent into proper hygiene are fucking disgusting.
Dont care to talk about women/sex/etc with other dudes.
Dudes that always one up each other is also exhausting.
I’m autistic and adhd. I get along better with women than I do men. Most of this and typical “male behavior” is cringe to me.
I’m not emotionally unavailable.
I don’t cheat and never have.
I hate DIY.
sports. when i was growing up, everyone knew the stats of all the teams and players. I’ve never cared about sports, and felt a bit out of touch in the all-too-common discussions.
Locker room talk. I don’t give a shit who you fucked and I’m not about to tell you my sex life either
Being interested in sport. Id rather pull my face off than talk football leagues with someone.
Car stuff isn’t that interesting to me. I can’t take it apart or install stuff, and I take it to a mechanics to fix issues. I don’t really care about the machismo around it, and while it’s good to know how to make those fixes, it’s just not an interesting topic for me. My car gets me places and has decent mileage, I’m good.
My dad used to tell me, “Every man needs a truck”. Very much a southern idiom, I’ll just keep renting em from Home Depot or calling friends.
Hating women? Or thinking I’m superior or something? Nope.
Anything with cars or engines. I have no idea.
Big muscles. No thanks.
When folks on reddit talk about how guys can sit and think about literally nothing, I cannot relate. My version is just having some dumb bullshit occupy my mind.
I am extemely physically and emotionally affectionate and intimate with my friends, to the point where I had a girlfriend ask me “Are you sure you’re not just a little gay?” because of it. Everyone in high school thought I was, too. I never minded; just kept doing my thing.
Also, am not afraid to talk about feelings and other heavy stuff with my boys, and I am very fortunate in that they aren’t either.
I go years without taking to some lifelong friends.
The whole dominance thing. Im not talking about sexual things either. I mean how there are types of guys that always need to show their “alpha”ness on each other. Even in adulthood after working quite a few blue collar/ security jobs. Always trying to prove they are “King Dick ” to each other.
Interests in sports/following a team.
Couldn’t care less even if my life depended on it.
Like most…. it kinda gives me dysphoria. I was raised almost exclusively by women past the age of 11, my dad passed when i was younger, and even he was an effeminate man and a literal acrobat, he competed in shows. And he was a psychologist so I grew up talking out my feelings.
I have a soft sounding voice, I don’t play/watch sports, I don’t workout, I don’t drive, I’m very clean and well groomed, I am aware of my surroundings, I can tell when someone’s into me, I’m not exclusively straight, I like to read and draw, I like girly music, I’m sentimental, I own a couple stuffed animals, I play video games but a lot of things like stardew valley and dating simulators, I like long walks and talking about feelings, I wish I dressed more femininely, etc
I am a dude, I like being a dude, but I cannot relate to like 90% of dudes, I’m awkward and struggle to make male friendships, but will talk women’s ears off and often get mistaken as gay when i open up, the only reason I don’t get that more often is because I got my grandpa’s genes and have a barrel chest, body hair, and a slight receding hairline.
I workout daily, but I don’t know the max weight I can lift. I just want to have a nice body.