I [29M] kept something from a girl [26F] I deeply care about early on, now things are getting serious

I feel scared, guilty, and dishonest about something that I should have revealed to the woman I deeply care about much sooner. While it isn’t quite “cheating” (I would never), it is still dishonest.

I [29M] met this girl [26F] (“Brittany”) through business about 5 months ago, and she became a regular business contact, although living out-of-state. What started as a professional contact started getting a bit personal. By mid-February, we had established that we liked eachother despite the distance. Things have been escalating since, and by now we practically act like an LDR although we are not officially together.

Well, prior to this happening, it was sort of implied that I lived alone. At the time this was discussed, she was merely a business contact and I said I had a place in [my hometown]. The way it was said implied that it was my own place. While I did not explicitly lie about it, I did keep it from her that the place is not my own, but my mothers, which is by no means truthful either. I do in fact live with my mother after I lost my last place and have been saving money.

It wasn’t until after this that Brittany and I started escalating into less business, and more personal. Now I video call Brittany regularly, probably twice a week, and we are extremely close 5 months later. We are still not official, but in many ways we act like we are, and I have a flight to see her in the coming months. I am taking our connection very seriously, and we each have expressed our interest in a potential future together. She is perfect for me in every way and although it’s only been 5 months, I am in love with her.

I am not one with a history of lying (which I guess is a meaningless thing to say). I guess I just didn’t want to tell someone who was practically a stranger at the time that I lived with my mother, and at the time I told her this, we were straight business only. I wasn’t telling the girl I was trying to get with a lie. I was giving minimal info to someone who was working with me. The problem is I kept the facade going for the remaining months after it got personal without revealing that. Yeah, I could argue that I didn’t “lie” so much as hide the truth, but it feels just as bad to me.

I really cannot lose this girl. She is unlike anyone I’ve ever experienced, but I don’t know whether to just move out and navigate this later, or say “hey, by the way my mother was 50 feet away most of those times we talked”. Plus, what happens if we get serious, she comes up and visits my mother and makes the connection? I feel like a sleeze for even weighing these possibilities out. I know the answer is to tell her. I guess I just want to know how bad of a guy I am. Some good news is I am moving out to my own place in several days now.

I appreciate any feedback.

tl;dr:

Girl I met as an out-of-state business contact thought I lived on my own when I really have been currently residing with parent. Then things became personal, and 5 months later, I still never told her I live with my mother.

The good news is I am moving out very shortly to my own place (in several days), but I am still starting to feel the weight of this “lie” or at least “absence of truth” and I want to come clean. I am not officially with this girl yet, but we act the part and are getting very serious. She is perfect for me, and other than this, there are no other “secrets”. I do not want to lose her no matter what. I also have a flight to go see her soon.

I know that I should come clean, but I guess I just want to know how “bad” of a guy I am for this. And from women’s perspective especially, is there a coming back from this?

Thank you.