I don’t believe in going on dates.
I’ve never asked out anyone on a date. I’ve always asked them if they’d like to hang out some time.
I feel like the word “date” makes people act in unnatural ways i,e, calling each other terms of endearment, complimenting each other’s appearance (“you’re cute,” “you’re beautiful,” etc.), kissing, or trying hard to impress each other before theyeven know mch about each other.
To me, all of that feels shallow, meaningless and proformative if it happens without an established platonic bond.
This is why I think hanging out is better than going on dates.
Hanging out allows people to actually get to know each other and become build a plaontc connection rather than immediately evaluating whether they’re “romantically compatible.”
By hanigng out wiht someone you slowly get to know them in low pressure enviroments and become a part of their life and meet the other people who are also their lives without any pressure.
It allows you ad the other person to both be yourselves without any pressure or exceptations.
I feel like it also gives you the chance to know who they are as a person,
It also gets rid of the unspoken rules that come with dating, like how long you’re “supposed” to wait before texting, who should pay, or what milestones should happen by when.
Hanging out removes all that pressure and expectation, making space for something more authentic.
When you hang out, you’re not “performing” romance. You’re just being yourself, and if anything deeper grows from that, it’s rooted in something real.
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I bet you’re the type to avoid “putting labels on the relationship” too
Watching a movie at home with popcorn can be considered a date depends on the type of person you are seeing, my partner and I would classify watching a movie at home a date but we also classify as going out for lunch as a date
Dating is meant to be hanging out and getting to know a person, just in a more fun place
Yikes. I feel bad for anyone who ends up with you, if you get that lucky. Sounds like you are intimidated by the idea of romance, and most people like to be romantic and put effort in at least occasionally. I have never been on a first date and got called anything but my name, so I don’t know why you think there are suddenly terms of endearment immediately. You can get to know people on dates too, and just because you won’t call it a date, doesn’t mean people won’t be nervous or act differently. It’s not because it’s a date, it’s because they don’ t know you and the same is true of hanging out with someone new. If you don’t think people act differently while “hanging out” with someone new, you’re in for a rude awakening.
You’re describing a date. A date is going to the movies. Or going bowling. Or just having a cup of coffee.
That’s a date.
The problem about not being clear about romantic interest, is that the other person(not understanding your motivation), will allow you to spend a lot of time with them, all the well knowing from the beginning that they have no attraction to you.
It’s a great way to set yourself up for disappointment.
If you feel more comfortable calling it “hanging out” initially, that’s fine. Not everyone has the confidence to ask someone out on a date right away. But once you’ve had a “hang out” a few times and you don’t take someone out on a proper date with at least a moderate amount of romance, that’s lame as hell.
That just makes you a boring person. (I’m boring too)
Life is meaningless…
>Hanging out allows people to actually get to know each other and become build a plaontc connection rather than immediately evaluating whether they’re “romantically compatible.”
So when you’re “hanging out” with someone, are you not evaluating whether they’re romantically compatible with you? Because if you’re not, then that’s just friendship you described.
My favorite “dates” were always going to do stuff outdoors. Hiking, skiing, cycling, rock-climbing, river-rafting, things like that.
I met my wife at the canoe store. Our first date was a sea-kayaking trip. Going to get a bite afterwards was natural and unstilted because we’d already spent time doing something exciting and physical first, and so there was no awkward conversation or nervousness to overcome as we talked at the restaurant.
If you go do the things you really love, you’re more likely to find someone else who likes the same things in life.
Definitely an unpopular opinion. Basically I ended up doing this with my last ex (didnt realize she was interested and thought she just liked playing ultimate Frisbee and wanted to join me).
So our “dating” period was really just hanging out…..she cheated on me and it ended in December.
So yeah, don’t replace dating with hanging out. It can set the tone for the whole relationship, in a bad way
Lol wtf is this absolute lunk of a jabroni. Hanging out is a date
I can tell you’ve never gone on a date. Because going on a date is literally getting to know someone, but without the question of “do they want something in the future”.
You sound chronically online, the “supposed to wait before texting” is absolute horseshit. I always text them when I get home saying I had a great time, no one has ever had a problem with it.
There is no pressure or expectations on a date, or there shouldn’t be. Other than maybe dress a bit nicer? You’re supposed to be yourself. If you’re not being yourself on dates, you’re doing it wrong.
I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion, I think this is just a confused person. I hang out with my friends, I want my date to know I think her earrings or dress look great on her. I want to hear how she likes my suit. But if we don’t get along on the date, it’s the literal same outcome as if we didn’t get along during a “hangout”.
When you date, you’re not supposed to be “performing” either. It’s just hanging out but called differently because there is a different end goal. If it helps you not be nervous, by all means, don’t call it a date. But it wouldn’t change a thing for me.
If you don’t like dating don’t date. It just sounds like you don’t want to put in the thought or effort that comes with dating someone? Like of course hanging out and establishing a real bond is important but not mutually exclusive
Hanging out at Hooters is way better than ANY date imaginable
A mix of both is better. Sometimes the performative romance is the point
You just don’t like feeling cheap when you don’t pick up the bill.
I have hung out with hundreds of women but have only asked out maybe a handful. The thing is most women will consider a “hang out” a date even if you don’t call it that.
This just reads like you’re not intentional and don’t like accountability.
A date is a type of hangout?
I’m so confused by this post.
Are you saying people should avoid romance?
Are you putting too much pressure on yourself when you go out on a date?
Are you saying romantic relationships shouldn’t exist?
I mean, aren’t dates technically hangouts?
Yeah I wouldn’t say just because we go to lunch we’re dating, regardless of gender, but actively dating is different than a date.
“Hey, do you want to come over and watch me stare at my phone”
Not the best.
thats fine, but if we are hanging out we are just friends, and im still expecting an actual date once we decide we want to be more than friends.
i like friends to lovers, its a nice way to meet someone.
The problem with all of this is if you’re replacing dates with hanging out, then it’s not really hanging out. You’ve just made ‘hanging out’ a part of your dating strategy. What you’re talking about is nothing new, it’s the ‘nice guy’ strategy. You see someone you’re interested in, but rather than being straight forward you decide to be their ‘friend’. And you’re hope is given enough time, a romantic connection will form without you ever having to actually get the guts to tell her you’re interested and face a possible rejection.
The problem with this is if you’re ‘hanging out’ with the intention of eventually becoming a couple, then it’s dishonest. You’re spending all of this time with the person while hiding how you actually feel. A date meanwhile is honest. You like the person, you tell the person you like them, you put it all out there. And yeah, if she doesn’t turn you down that might lead to shit like going to a movie, complimenting, kissing. People usually like all that.
What you’re afraid of here is the possibility of rejection, pressure, and effort. I say if you like the person, they should easily be worth all that shit.
Best dates feel like hangouts to me, ngl
Ok but what’s actually the difference between the two? Like what exactly does “hanging out” entail?
I actually have a hangout first “date” this upcoming Sunday, and he asked me if I wanted to come over and play board games… This is the first time I have had a “date” like this, and I thought it was a really fun and cute idea. It feels so much more laid back with less pressure and will allow for some natural conversation while playing games! So I agree with your unpopular opinion lol
A date is a date regardless of what you call it.
If just calling it a date is enough to put the person you’re asking out off, they’re not attracted to you.
Um, I think you’ve concocted some very rigid and specific notion of what a date is. Maybe you’ve watched too many movies or something.
Dating can just be hanging out and doing something fun together. There is absolutely zero about dating that prevents you from just sitting and talking and getting to know each other. In fact, that’s the whole point. Basically, you’re just picking a safe and neutral location to do it. Most people don’t want to sit in the living room of a stranger on day one. A walk in the park can be a date.
If the label really bothers you THAT much, then whatever. Don’t use it. You do you. But just be aware, your hang-up with the word “date” and assigning certain connotations to it is all you.
Bro if you don’t want to buy her dinner just say so
It sounds to me like you’re trying to have all the advantages without any of the expectations
It’s all the same. Really, hanging out is dating.
What do you mean “act in unnatural ways”? How does saying to a potential partner “hey do you want to go on a date with me,” make them act in some weird way? I don’t understand.
As someone that’s been in a relationship with a man who didn’t do “dates”, this is a shitty take. Sure hanging out is great, but trying to be with someone romantically without dates really just becomes friends that you have sex with. But doing dates with intention is more meaningful and results in a better romantic relationship.
Unpopular opinion for sure at least so take an upvote.
That’s how most adult nerds date. You text a bit, have a few video calls. Then hang out at each other’s house. Play video games, watch things, order in food, talk all night. It rules.
The normies out there having restaurant dates are really making things hard for themselves 😆
Looking at your profile you are apparently Asexual so yes in your case putting the pressure of a “date” on being with a person would hamper the fun. I think the term date implies that you are looking for a possible sexual relationship or you are specifically looking to hookup. I think it is an unpopular opinion because people don’t relate to what you are looking for from a partner. Best of luck and yes this is an unpopular opinion.
Isn’t it the same thing? You hang out with anyone but the person you’re with/courting is what makes a hangout a date. It’s ok to take a more casual approach early on when you’re figuring things out. You’re putting too much pressure on it.
This is the reason why things like situationship have happened. All the experiences you talked about can be had under the category of dating. Just like the term love doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone you can reshape what dating is.
If hanging out is in lieu of a date then that’s the new dating activity. It’s still a date you’re just jumping though hoops to not call it a date.
I get what you’re trying to say about dates being a bit forced and hang-outs being chill, but if I invite a girl over to come and “hang out” (with no obvious “chill” sexual component) then we’re just having a date at my place.
If your argument is that instead of activities people should just go to each others places and date in a casual setting then I can vibe with that. Not everyone will be a fan though, especially not women.
I totally get what you’re saying. People are hung up on the semantics. Yeah, it’s still a date if youre both interested in each other whether you call it “hanging out” or not, but i TOTALLY know what you mean about performing romance, I always prefer the first few “dates” to be completely platonic if I’m just getting to know you. Im just clear with people about that (e.g., “im not sure if I’m romantically invested yet I just wanna get to know you, but im open to it”)
I agree with this to an extent and is why I hate dating apps. Trying to decide who I want to go out with based on texting conversations and photos is extremely overwhelming and I’m usually wrong about who I’d be attracted to irl. I don’t want to be put into a romantic situation with someone I don’t even know and the pressure that puts on the situation makes it hard for me to relax. With that said, if we’ve been “hanging out” for a month and it never turns into an official date after we have a good rapport, then that’s just confusing. But at first, let’s just hang out like two people and see what the vibe is.
Hanging out with romantic interest is a date my dude
Surely this methodology has led to long and fulfilling relationships, right?
Same having to go out is dumb I will say for first time it makes sense because of how many women had experiences with crazies. Picking a neutral place shows where your head is at. Even then I pick somewhere where you can walk around or loiter
If it’s planned and paired off it’s a date imo. No single dude is inviting a single woman for one on one time just as a friend. I’d love to meet the straight single dude who sees a cute girl and thinks, “I’d really like to be her friend”.
Where you hangin out at?