It’s been several months since I first shared my story here the one where I found out my wife, the woman I built my life with for 8 years, had emotionally fallen for someone else. Her friend. The same friend she kissed on that girls’ weekend. The same one she said she’d “leave it all for.”
That message still echoes in my head sometimes.
But I’m writing today from a different place. Still healing, still grieving, but also still standing.
We filed for divorce shortly after everything came out. It wasn’t a war. No screaming matches, no custody battles. Just quiet heartbreak and a focus on doing what’s best for our 3 year old. I think the shock of what she almost gave up hit her too late but by then, I couldn’t hold on to someone already halfway out the door.
The hardest part? Explaining things to my child without saying too much. Just enough to reassure her that both her parents love her deeply, even if they don’t love each other the same way anymore.
I moved into a small apartment not far from our old place. I see my daughter almost every day. I pack her lunch, braid her hair (not very well yet), and read her bedtime stories that always end with her giggling and me pretending I’m not tearing up.
We’ve settled into a rhythm. It’s not perfect. Some nights are lonely. Some days I still wonder, was I not enough? But then I hear her little feet running down the hall calling “Daddy!” and I remember I was always enough for her.
Her mom and I now co-parent. We’re civil, sometimes even kind. But the trust we once had? That’s gone. Still, I remind myself: I don’t have to love her anymore to show up with love for our daughter.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: heartbreak doesn’t have to break you. It can remake you. And right now, I’m being remade into the kind of father I hope she’ll be proud of someday.
Thank you to everyone who listened back then. You helped me walk through fire with my head held high. And if anyone else out there is in the middle of the storm: keep going. It does get lighter.
One step.
One day.
One bedtime story at a time.
Comments
Backup of the post’s body: It’s been several months since I first shared my story here the one where I found out my wife, the woman I built my life with for 8 years, had emotionally fallen for someone else. Her friend. The same friend she kissed on that girls’ weekend. The same one she said she’d “leave it all for.”
That message still echoes in my head sometimes.
But I’m writing today from a different place. Still healing, still grieving, but also still standing.
We filed for divorce shortly after everything came out. It wasn’t a war. No screaming matches, no custody battles. Just quiet heartbreak and a focus on doing what’s best for our 3 year old. I think the shock of what she almost gave up hit her too late but by then, I couldn’t hold on to someone already halfway out the door.
The hardest part? Explaining things to my child without saying too much. Just enough to reassure her that both her parents love her deeply, even if they don’t love each other the same way anymore.
I moved into a small apartment not far from our old place. I see my daughter almost every day. I pack her lunch, braid her hair (not very well yet), and read her bedtime stories that always end with her giggling and me pretending I’m not tearing up.
We’ve settled into a rhythm. It’s not perfect. Some nights are lonely. Some days I still wonder, was I not enough? But then I hear her little feet running down the hall calling “Daddy!” and I remember I was always enough for her.
Her mom and I now co-parent. We’re civil, sometimes even kind. But the trust we once had? That’s gone. Still, I remind myself: I don’t have to love her anymore to show up with love for our daughter.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: heartbreak doesn’t have to break you. It can remake you. And right now, I’m being remade into the kind of father I hope she’ll be proud of someday.
Thank you to everyone who listened back then. You helped me walk through fire with my head held high. And if anyone else out there is in the middle of the storm: keep going. It does get lighter.
One step.
One day.
One bedtime story at a time.
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What a beautiful continuation of your story. Thank you for being the kind of father many of us wish we had. Your daughter will know this about you when she’s older. Keep doing what you’re doing and the right woman—the one who deserves you—will find her way to you.
Thanks for updating. I’m happy for you.
You and your daughter are lucky to have each other.
Good for you! If you want, there’s a Facebook dad called the Hair dad who learned to fix his daughter’s hair after the mom was no longer there (I think she passed away. But I never delved deep). You may be able to go back to the beginning and watch him to learn some new fun stuff 🙂 his daughter is a teen now and doesn’t need as much “daddy help” with her hair, but she was quite little when he started learning, so it may help you a little.
And dude, you were enough. 💜
This is beautiful!!! Congratulations man!! It sounds like you have this figured out. Your daughter is lucky to have you, just like you’re lucky to have her! Best wishes for the future!
All the best OP
This is AI.
She will know that.
My dad married his second wife, but I always knew that my dad loved me. We used to sit, and dad read books, I looked at the outer space pictures…till I fell asleep…..I used to greet dad with a cheer and a hug. I watched him race cars. He taught me how to rig a toy sailboat. And we read the Sunday Funnies together. In his later years, we discussed the excellence of various science fiction writers, Asimov, Bradbury, Verne,. And we would do crossword puzzles, he did the ones that needed Latin numbers I did the pop culture. We even did one in Spanish. I got all of 2 answers
I remember all that starting from about 67 years ago. ( I’m old, not decrepit. check my profile )
My dad was my hero. I know that he loved me.
And your daughter will remember you being a kind and loving dad
👉🏼 That’s how you d❤️ddy.
Respect. You’re showing her what a real man looks like. Keep being an amazing dad
She lost a good man and doesn’t even realize it yet. But your daughter? She won. That’s the only part that matters now.
You’re a good dad. It’s great that you still see your daughter everyday. My best friend’s parents divorced when he was a kid. Said the thing that screwed him up the most was just not seeing one parent for long periods. I’m sure your daughter will be fine. 3 is still very young, so she probably won’t even remember the old times when you were both together. You guys being divorced will be the normal state she’s used to. Like my dad died when I was a toddler and I don’t remember him. That would have messed me up so much worse if it had happened at 8. Like sometimes I wished I had a dad and siblings, but it wasn’t a big deal and I was never traumatized.
Damn, thank you.
Fantastic strength and courage.