Green flag? When she says ‘let’s split the bill’ and actually means it, not as a social experiment to test your chivalry, but because she’s got goals, a spreadsheet, and probably a high-yield savings account. That’s not a girlfriend, that’s a co-founder in life.
intelligence, humor, her own idea of self and agency, then if she has a start on a career or education it’s a plus. this is adult me. teenage me or young me had lower standards. looks was a priority.
Being interested in the guy’s hobby—for real, though—learning the lingo and/or doing something that’s focused on the guy’s hobby.
SIDEBAR: any woman who has ever known what they want to eat is married immediately.
Edit: This doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t have hobbies that you show interest in. Learning about my hobbies while having a lot of hobbies themselves would be a green star.
on our first date, she asked if I ever saw the cartoon Gargoyles, greenest of flags. then she responded correctly when I asked who loved orange soda, and now she lets me play with her butt whenever I want, im a pretty big fan of that.
Not being afraid to know things that aren’t seen as typically feminine.
Not sure how to phrase it but I’ve known women who are more than capable of things related to car maintenance or DIY and they play it as something they know nothing about, which is wild to me. I guess it’s similar to pretending that something is too heavy for them to lift.
Number one green flag: can she articulate ideas and feelings well, accept critical feedback on those ideas and feelings, and defend those ideas and feelings without becoming unreasonably defensive or aggressive. Being able to communicate effectively is a core skill that any potential partner has to have.
Second green flag: being able to recognize when the person she’s talking to can’t do the above things and she has the good sense to cut her losses and leave.
Takes a genuine interest in my hobbies, even if she doesn’t completely understand them. The person I’m dating isn’t a computer gamer, but she loves listening in on my discord chats from my side while I’m in game.
She also does try to understand when I’m talking about my games, and I do the same for her when she is talking about her knitting/crochet stuff.
Now I know this one isn’t very popular but I was raised by very absent parents so at a very young age I’ve learned to care for myself and my siblings. I’m extremely self sufficient and used to be a chef so I’m very clean and cook amazing meals.
When a girl can fully take care of herself, when she can do an entire grocery haul on her own, when she plans and executes meals without asking for help, when she’s able to basically help me in everyday tasks rather than just rely on how independent I am and how much I can do for myself and others.
A major one for me early on in dating is if she doesn’t just expect me to initiate everything, plan everything, pay for everything, and just generally be responsible for everything. It’s amazing how common that attitude still is, and it’s just exhausting.
Not just for dating but for anyone, a big green flag to me is the ability to stop and take a moment to see if you are right about something and admit it if you aren’t.
Aside from what has been said, she asks questions back about me. And not just what I do for work but things to get to know me, I guess its just her showing a bit of interest
I met someone (non-romantic) who didn’t hesitate to fight for me, as a wheelchair user. I’m super accustomed to my situation (like wheelchair access or how people treat me) being ignored or downplayed by other friends. Part of the reason is because I’m a guy and there is a stereotype that guys don’t need support or help – while ignoring that fighting for my rights alone as a disabled person is super difficult.
So experiencing someone who understood that was super weird in a good way. Weird because I had never experienced that before. Usually it’s “deal with it” or “fix the problem yourself,” and sometimes “just man up.”
To me, that was the greenest flag I’ve ever come across.
She has a steady group of good girl-friends. If they’re kind to their friends and have built up relationships with them that are steady, you have a much better chance of expecting the same in a relationship.
If they don’t parrot the toxic behaviors and trends on social media regarding dating, romance and expectations. And this applies equally to men. Different characteristics in how it presents itself, but it’s the same patterns for both genders.
Huge one: positive reinforcement and motivating your partner or encouraging them to take risks, try new things, and to give them emotional support. Again this applies to both genders and I think generally women are better at it than men. But that trait is a massive green flag.
If conversation is a two-way street. Many times, us guys will open up and the conversation will be rather one sided with simple word responses. If she is interested in your conversation and you are interested in her conversation, that is a huge green flag.
Hobbies. I have known a lot of guys that end up in relationships where they become their partners hobby and there is 0 separation. Works for some but I would say not most.
No, I do not mean shyness, timidness, quietness, or lack of confidence. I mean a person who is confident and sure of themselves, but not cocky or arrogant, who is mature enough to recognize that they have some things figured out but not everything, who is readily able to accept that they are not the center of the universe, not always right about everything. The good and bad thing about humility is, you can usually tell if someone has it within about 10 seconds, and many people don’t. Usually both men and women that have it are over 30. So if you’re dating women under 30…you’re just generally gonna have a bad time. Obviously things like sex will be good, but if we’re talking flags and relationships….humility
I play video games every now and then with my brothers cause it’s one of our ways of bonding due to the fact we all live in different states. Around the time my GF and I started dating, my brothers and I were pretty involved in playing Overwatch on a regular basis. My GF games as well which is part of the reason why we started dating, but she saw how often I played with them and said “I wanna learn how to play Overwatch so that I can play with you guys, I know how important playing with them is to your relationship and I wanna be able to connect with your brothers too and have us all play together every now and then if that’s ok?”
The two best women Ive dated were ones that asked questions about my interests and actually learned about them. I highly doubt either knew much (or cared) about Star Wars or Pokémon before dating me, but they both made an effort to care about it and learn about it.
Good thing I was able to marry one of them and not screw up both relationships
Kindness is key — but I’m all about a girl who’s not afraid to get down and dirty too. Got that sweet, gentle energy, but can also break a sweat on the volleyball court with a competitive edge. Beauty, heart, and hustle all in one is perfect.
Comments
Kindness.
Green flag? When she says ‘let’s split the bill’ and actually means it, not as a social experiment to test your chivalry, but because she’s got goals, a spreadsheet, and probably a high-yield savings account. That’s not a girlfriend, that’s a co-founder in life.
When she’s funnier than I am 🫡
Got me knees trembling
When she shares my humor, is confident in herself, knows what she likes, is sexually open-minded and not repressed or prudish.
She knows what she wants and doesn’t like wasting time
When she says “I ordered fries, but I knew you’d steal some so I got a large.”
That’s not a green flag. That’s a green wedding invitation.
intelligence, humor, her own idea of self and agency, then if she has a start on a career or education it’s a plus. this is adult me. teenage me or young me had lower standards. looks was a priority.
Actually tell what’s wrong.
Loving family. Loves her family. Not a perfect family. Just loving person in general. Leads with her heart. Not cold and grumpy.
At this point in my life? Showing interest in me
And just to be clear I mean genuine and obvious interest, I don’t want to sound like a Joe Goldberg level stalker
Intelligence, good humor, nice smile
She’s good with kids, doesn’t take herself too seriously and has a warm spirit
Humor!
Being interested in the guy’s hobby—for real, though—learning the lingo and/or doing something that’s focused on the guy’s hobby.
SIDEBAR: any woman who has ever known what they want to eat is married immediately.
Edit: This doesn’t mean your partner doesn’t have hobbies that you show interest in. Learning about my hobbies while having a lot of hobbies themselves would be a green star.
Edit: I will eat anything.
If she randomly sings songs from musicals all the time
Open and honest communication.
on our first date, she asked if I ever saw the cartoon Gargoyles, greenest of flags. then she responded correctly when I asked who loved orange soda, and now she lets me play with her butt whenever I want, im a pretty big fan of that.
Its nice scrolling through the comments and seeing my girl meet almost all of them
She doesn’t sweat the small stuff.
She’s not glued to her phone.
Not being afraid to know things that aren’t seen as typically feminine.
Not sure how to phrase it but I’ve known women who are more than capable of things related to car maintenance or DIY and they play it as something they know nothing about, which is wild to me. I guess it’s similar to pretending that something is too heavy for them to lift.
Norks
Goals and healthy boundaries.
Genuine kindness, driven to succeed in life, talented in a specific thing (art, music, dancing etc).
A little on the shallow side, but a nice butt counts too.
Number one green flag: can she articulate ideas and feelings well, accept critical feedback on those ideas and feelings, and defend those ideas and feelings without becoming unreasonably defensive or aggressive. Being able to communicate effectively is a core skill that any potential partner has to have.
Second green flag: being able to recognize when the person she’s talking to can’t do the above things and she has the good sense to cut her losses and leave.
Takes a genuine interest in my hobbies, even if she doesn’t completely understand them. The person I’m dating isn’t a computer gamer, but she loves listening in on my discord chats from my side while I’m in game.
She also does try to understand when I’m talking about my games, and I do the same for her when she is talking about her knitting/crochet stuff.
Kindness, communicating clearly what she wants and likes, honesty, showing interest.
Intelligence and humour
Now I know this one isn’t very popular but I was raised by very absent parents so at a very young age I’ve learned to care for myself and my siblings. I’m extremely self sufficient and used to be a chef so I’m very clean and cook amazing meals.
When a girl can fully take care of herself, when she can do an entire grocery haul on her own, when she plans and executes meals without asking for help, when she’s able to basically help me in everyday tasks rather than just rely on how independent I am and how much I can do for myself and others.
Makes an effort to keep a conversation going.
Understanding, kind and open. Being able to recognise and treat others as a human being should be something everyone has.
A major one for me early on in dating is if she doesn’t just expect me to initiate everything, plan everything, pay for everything, and just generally be responsible for everything. It’s amazing how common that attitude still is, and it’s just exhausting.
Not be rude, the bar is in hell.
Nigerias the one I think of when you say green flags.
Not just for dating but for anyone, a big green flag to me is the ability to stop and take a moment to see if you are right about something and admit it if you aren’t.
At this point not actively hitting me with a shovel is a plus.
Aside from what has been said, she asks questions back about me. And not just what I do for work but things to get to know me, I guess its just her showing a bit of interest
I met someone (non-romantic) who didn’t hesitate to fight for me, as a wheelchair user. I’m super accustomed to my situation (like wheelchair access or how people treat me) being ignored or downplayed by other friends. Part of the reason is because I’m a guy and there is a stereotype that guys don’t need support or help – while ignoring that fighting for my rights alone as a disabled person is super difficult.
So experiencing someone who understood that was super weird in a good way. Weird because I had never experienced that before. Usually it’s “deal with it” or “fix the problem yourself,” and sometimes “just man up.”
To me, that was the greenest flag I’ve ever come across.
Emotional stability.
The ability to apologize if an argument hets heated and she says hurtful things.
When she thinks about how she could make my life easier if I end up working a longer than usual shift.
Offering to pay for dinner occasionally.
In my experience it definitely is NOT the word “Lowlife” tattooed on the back of her neck
She has a steady group of good girl-friends. If they’re kind to their friends and have built up relationships with them that are steady, you have a much better chance of expecting the same in a relationship.
When she has her own stuff going on, and doesn’t need to cling to me for validation 24/7
Allowing me as a man to exist as I am. Not molding me into an image or expecting me to behave and operate like someone I’m not
Someone that can hold her own in a game of Mario Kart
When she offers to go half
Wisdom, kindness, empathy, patience.
She’s kind and doesn’t talk down to others.
Patience, kindness, understanding
A low body count honestly.
Its a preference that I think is very attractive.
That being said people with high body counts can be awesome too and shaming is not okay.
Just not my preference.
If they don’t parrot the toxic behaviors and trends on social media regarding dating, romance and expectations. And this applies equally to men. Different characteristics in how it presents itself, but it’s the same patterns for both genders.
Huge one: positive reinforcement and motivating your partner or encouraging them to take risks, try new things, and to give them emotional support. Again this applies to both genders and I think generally women are better at it than men. But that trait is a massive green flag.
Humor
Kindness, sense of humor
Having hobbies outside of traveling and Instagram, no smoking of any kind, and does not put other people down.
ability to laugh at herself is the biggest one!
being good to the staff at any restaurant
If conversation is a two-way street. Many times, us guys will open up and the conversation will be rather one sided with simple word responses. If she is interested in your conversation and you are interested in her conversation, that is a huge green flag.
Beeing nice to animals.
Empathy and compassion for others, ability to have independent time outside the relationship, and reciprocity within the relationship.
Is she enthusiastic to do things with you.
Sex, eating, talking, trips, staying home, movies..
Does not matter…. That green light glows above all.
I find women who speak their mind without any ulterior motives or “throwing hints” to be amazing. Getting too old to be playing the guessing game.
I find girl who is opened to new ideas as well as an opened mind to try them out to be amazing.
I know it’s dumb but “likes video games”
Hobbies. I have known a lot of guys that end up in relationships where they become their partners hobby and there is 0 separation. Works for some but I would say not most.
If she supports my hobbies despite not wanting to participate in them.
IE, I’m a Star Wars nerd and she would say something like “Hey, at 9PM, the new episode drops, don’t forget.”
And it would go both ways. Supporting her in her hobbies.
And sharing time together, like above. I could be watching Star Wars and she’s cuddled up with her book, Switch, knitting, whatevs.
She looks at you with smiley eyes.
Humility.
No, I do not mean shyness, timidness, quietness, or lack of confidence. I mean a person who is confident and sure of themselves, but not cocky or arrogant, who is mature enough to recognize that they have some things figured out but not everything, who is readily able to accept that they are not the center of the universe, not always right about everything. The good and bad thing about humility is, you can usually tell if someone has it within about 10 seconds, and many people don’t. Usually both men and women that have it are over 30. So if you’re dating women under 30…you’re just generally gonna have a bad time. Obviously things like sex will be good, but if we’re talking flags and relationships….humility
Putting punctuation marks in the correct place.
Making time to spend together.
Showing interest and asking questions about family/ friends.
Laughter/ Similar Sense of Humor
Covering the check on a later date. Willingness to split costs.
Pays her own bills
OP is a bot
She writes good thank you notes. Not to you, but after she meets your aunt or something.
Has pulse.
Cuddles you when you’re feeling down
Doesn’t post on social media every day/pointless mundane shit out as if she’s living in a reality tv show for her followers to watch along.
I see this far too often and it’s fucking weird.
Fat azz
Big boobies
Reciprocity
Anime,girls that watch anime are the biggest greenflags ever.
She’s nice to her dad
I play video games every now and then with my brothers cause it’s one of our ways of bonding due to the fact we all live in different states. Around the time my GF and I started dating, my brothers and I were pretty involved in playing Overwatch on a regular basis. My GF games as well which is part of the reason why we started dating, but she saw how often I played with them and said “I wanna learn how to play Overwatch so that I can play with you guys, I know how important playing with them is to your relationship and I wanna be able to connect with your brothers too and have us all play together every now and then if that’s ok?”
That was a green flag to me
Can take accountability without redirecting, deflecting, or making things about her
Tomboy
Kindness, clear communication… knowing what they want to give and receive in a relationship
Actual interests
The two best women Ive dated were ones that asked questions about my interests and actually learned about them. I highly doubt either knew much (or cared) about Star Wars or Pokémon before dating me, but they both made an effort to care about it and learn about it.
Good thing I was able to marry one of them and not screw up both relationships
A sense of humour
Having their own life and path and not just waiting to find someone to support them.
When she’s your peace, not your pressure. Someone you can sit in silence and still feel understood.
(Green flag for any human relationship) In times of conflict, hearing with their ears and not their triggers.
Appreciation
Kindness is key — but I’m all about a girl who’s not afraid to get down and dirty too. Got that sweet, gentle energy, but can also break a sweat on the volleyball court with a competitive edge. Beauty, heart, and hustle all in one is perfect.
Safe sex
Little to no social media presence or interest.
Can hold a job and doesn’t expect to be taken care of just because she’s a female.
Responsible gun ownership