TIFU by trying to fake a drug test

24M. i work in the trades for almost 2 yrs now doing maintenance and got a job opportunity to work at a medical facility. the pay was good, schedule was perfect, and they were willing to pay for some more certifications like backflow testing which is great. Problem is i smoke weed. I dont drink, i dont trip, i dont do anything beside smoke some bud in a recreational legal state. So when i was offer the job i was told i have 48 hrs to do the drug test. Cool. I go to the smoke shop, get some quickfix. Watch some youtube vids on how to do this because ive never used the product before. Easy peasy, what could go wrong? Well, apparently a lot could go wrong wouldnt ya believe. I preped the piss and got ready to go take my drug test today. I decided i wanted to get a lil thermometer to make sure the temp was good because thats the main thing i have to worry about at this point. I stop at the hardware store and i walked around the ENTIRE store with the piss stuffed in my gooch because my girl had to use the bathroom. It was working perfectly. Test the thermometer, said the temp was good. We drive to the testing facility and parked in the back to make sure with ABSOLUTELY CERTAINTY that this shit was gonna work. We walked into the testing facility, i go over to the desk and try to sign in and sat down. So i got up and sat down a couple times and didnt think too much about it. The call me in and i take 1 step and i felt it slip. There was nothing i could do. It went ‘thump’ on the ground with everyone bearing witness. I look down and just pick it up and put it in my pocket and kept walking like nothing happened. I go in and the lady tells me to empty my pockets, and long story short, i walked out and just didnt take the test. I am now coming up with a plan to call HR and just beg for forgiveness tomorrow.

TL;DR i got caught trying to fake a drug test the silliest way possible when the fake piss fell out my pant leg as i was walking to go take my test