Hi guys, long time no see, for those are you new to this, moral of the story is that I (25M) began working at this new job and I was going out to the bar with this girl (34F) I worked with and I slept in our bed, two times without having sex. Then everybody I know was telling me that I missed all the signals that she was supposedly trying to “jump my bones”, for those of you who have waited, this is the final update.
We went to the bar tonight, this is the last time her and I are gonna be hanging out for a minute because she got fired from the job we both worked at, not for anything relating to this btw, but her and I went out tonight to the same bar, got to talk about it, had a good time all around. Unfortunately, for some of y’all who keep suggesting that I just go for the kiss and ask questions later, it did not work out like that. I firmly believe that that’s not the move for someone like me to make, so I’m gonna continue doing what I feel comfortable doing. So I asked her straight up for the last time be honest if she was just sharing a bed so that I don’t drive home drunk, or if she was trying to sleep with me. She did confirm, and in great detail, she’s not in any way sexually attracted to me, but she does enjoy the shit out of my company and feels comfortable around me. She doesn’t think I’m gay, she knows I wasn’t trying to make her uncomfortable, we both just wanted to clear the air. So it said and done. I’m sorry if this isn’t the ending y’all wanted, but it just didn’t work out that way.
Here’s a thing, I’m cool with it either way. I enjoy her company, I also enjoy her bed because it’s comfy. Would sex have been a really nice bonus? Absolutely. Was it necessary or mandatory? No. I don’t regret this in any way. She did beg for my number so that we can stay in touch and keep going out to drink, so at least we’re good friends. I’m cool with it, truly.
TL;DR I slept in the same bed with my coworker twice and lived in a bubble of confusion until she finally confirmed she’s not trying to sleep with me.
Comments
Good call mate. World needs more dudes like you.
Holy shit this is still going on?
You seem like a mature well rounded adult. Enjoy life, you’ve got the tool belt for success.
Hmmm
And you believed her?
But never mind, you make a new friend.
Tell her, “Boo! Boo!” from me:)
Man.
This story just got even more sad than it was the last times.
Part of me would like to believe that she did really gave out signals for something more than friends you know, maybe because it was expressed by you way before or maybe I read in too much .
But again it’s good that you held yourself to the standards. Maybe it will work out differently in future but rest assured, I guess you won’t have that thought process of regret before you got to bed on one random night (btw that was the comment that I made on your last post) .
You didn’t fumble the bag you just found out it was a backpack all along. Comfort, honesty, and a soft bed? Still a win, my dude.
Never dip your pen in the company ink, my friend.
Good outcome. Next step, go out with her as your wingman! Or get her to set you up with one of her friends.
If she’s cool, fun to be around, and a good person then cherish this friendship and don’t screw it up by making an awkward drunk pass at her.
This is also someone who can help you meet other girls.
Man, don’t sweat about it, you handled it like an actual adult.
You cleared the air, didn’t make it awkward and got a good friend out of it.
That’s a massive win in my book.
I grab boobs in my sleep unconsciously so I can’t sleep next to a woman innocently. I’ve been told that I do this in my sleep. I have no memory of it so I just avoid sleeping next to any woman or I warn them ahead of time that I’ve been told it happens.
This happened to me but I did go for the kiss and now that girl is my wife.
Next up… girl friend has a string of bad relationships with douche bag guys. Our guy finally finds a girl who he does start a relationship with. The co-worker gets jealous once she no longer has her friend in the same capacity and realises he was right for her all along.
Hmm. Is she OK with being your wingwoman?
Just call this arrangement “cuddle buddies” or “bed warmers” and you’ll be fine. It’s not a crime for being platonic friends of opposite gender
Hear me out; Y’all are still gonna have sex in the future.
Good on ya tho.
No way this thread was not infested by the incels telling OP that he is a beta, genetically inferior male.
There is hope, nad there are still normal, reasonable people out there!
Enjoy your life OP!
Good on you for not just ‘going for it’ and potentially making her really uncomfortable and ruining a friendship.
wait you actually had a conversation instead of doing something weird or fucked up? Good call trusting yourself by the way (instead of reddit weirdos)
I mean this is just a well adjusted dude navigating through life I don’t know what to comment here
haha, I’m surprised I made it this far with you and your adventures!
and for the people who are obsessed with this man’s anatomy and autonomy, chill.
Ah see but then you should have said, “haha well good! Because that’s what I thought, but damn anyone else could have taken it some other way. Did you have a plan in case I misread the situation and made a move?”
THEN you know if she was dtf.
Who knew asking directly could clear up so much? Communication, folks. It really works!
So the movies are not real??
Sounds like she will be a great wingwoman. Who you might have some fun adventures with. Maybe get set up with one of her mates one day.
I had a relationship with a girl like this a long time ago and it was pretty awesome. We each dated other people and had a bunch of mutual friends. She dated my friends and I dated hers (I ended up marrying her cousin) but we never had sex with each other. Been naked around each other, helped each other pick clothes, even watched porn together, just never actually hooked up. Plutonic hetero relationships are pretty dope. Good on you for finding one, they’re pretty rare.
op finna bussin frfr ong he a true proper gentleman homie
Friend for life there.. good work
Yeah…
Wrong sub bro, clearly not a TIFU. Also good for you for handling that situation as well as you did. If shes 34 and you’re 25, and she trusts you that much, then she clearly sees how emotionally mature of a man you are.
Thank you for being a good and decent human being 💜💜💜
I think that’s a satisfying fulling ending, getting clear answers with no hard feelings.
Entirely off-topic: This post sounds like a page from Catcher in the Rye by Salinger. Just the way how the thoughts are expressed. Amazing.
As a man with alot of platonic female friends I understand completely. It confuses alot of People and they make assumptions but at the end of the day homies are homies. Sometimes setting the boundary is necessary but for the most part they know who I am as a person and don’t feel encroched on. This does make meeting women I want to sleep with a little harder and makes men have a different look on me but, im just me and can’t be anyone else.
Of course she’s not just going to come out and say she wanted it. If she did that it might make her seem like a ho. If something more were your goal, you’ll have to break the touch barrier earlier in the night, then build sexual tension to create passion.
Fortune favors the bold.
I wouldn’t have the heart to even ask her. She’d probably laugh in my face.