I need advice on dealing with my wife’s mental health
Hello Morgan and company and audience.
I am married with two teenage children.
From the beginning of my relationship with my wife, she has had occasional episodes of poor mental health.
In the past, she has gotten help and has always welcomed my participation in that process. I have sat with her during sessions with talk therapists, and I have even attended sessions with psychiatrists.
This has always helped both her and our relationship.
However, recently she has begun to behave in the manner of that Hollywood cliché mental health patient who refuses help.
She rejects help from doctors and she now views me as the enemy.
Recently, this took the form of her engaging in an attempt at self harm.
I was able to save her from herself in a moment where, with the children home she attempted to grab at knives and then use them to Staab herself.
At the time of the incident, my children were in their rooms with the door closed. They appear to have not heard any of what happened.
In the wake of this incident, she fired her doctor and accused the two of us, the doctor and me, of engaging in a conspiracy against her.
This has now led her to seek the comfort of men who are largely strangers. Because they don’t know her history, and they pose no threat to her perception of herself and her perception of the people around her is trying to do her harm in someway.
I have tried, I think successfully, to shield my children from most of this. My wife and I are now at a point where we have agreed to divorce because her behavior has breached the fundamental building blocks of a marriage, or any monogamous relationship, and she has made it quite clear that she has no intention of changing her behavior.
I have told the children only as much as they need to know in the event that something like another self harm incident occurs.
I have kept them from knowledge of the worst of my wife’s behaviors, as I don’t think it would have any productive benefit at this point.
My daughter is in college and my son will join her in about a year.
I am committed to being as good a father, and a partner as I possibly can be under the circumstances, and to providing a stable place for them to come visit or to live if they need it for the rest of my life. I do not plan to disparage my wife in front of them or to them in anyway.
If any of you have dealt with a parent or partner with mental health issues, I would welcome any feedback as to whether I am doing the right thing. Thanks very much in advance.