That it is not the princess / fluttery / bubbly / cutesy aesthetic I was surrounded by before the age of 10. I would give anything to go back to that time
Having to tell doctors probable diagnoses because they’re not educated on womens health conditions.
It being our responsibility to police our bodies for men who weren’t taught to control themselves.
Having to teach bfs how to take care of themselves because too many parents failed their boys.
Being expected to cry about everything 😴
Being kind of sad that I will no longer have my period every month. I honestly can’t believe it. I have time to change my mind, but these thoughts recently have surprised me for sure.
For example: I work in a Construction related field – both male and female project personnel, equal size projects, BUT the men have fewer projects than the women and they have assistants AND the women are also expected to: Train new employees, fill-in for the receptionist when she’s out, when customers come to the office we are to get bagels and/or coffee and take them to lunch. Plan office parties, etc. It’s offensive as hell. And we get paid less.
That not all women get cat called like you see in the movies. I’ve literally never been cat called no matter what I wear. And this is NYC. I’ve been complimented on the street, a very basic “I love those shoes”. I’ve never had a man yell “hey sexy/beautiful” at me and it feels kind of bad. When I look in the mirror, I think I’m beautiful. I guess others don’t perceive me that way.
How much other women focus on men. How many women are actually struggling with feelings of loneliness and depression in long term marriages, with kids, from their partner’s families, and their friends.
You can hurt a man’s feelings by walking out a room or going silent after he does something shitty. But he won’t recognize that he did something shitty
How much we have to fight, simply to be heard. How much we lose when nobody believes us. Whether it’s about our health, our jobs, our rights, or simply being understood as a person.
How much our weight defines how we are treated by society, and how differently women are treated by each other. I’ve struggled with weight my whole life and have so much internalized fatphobia because of how I was treated when I was fat and how it affected my self image.
That I would be regularly sexually harassed starting as a teenager through my early 40s, mildly to seriously, and then suddenly it would stop when I apparently aged out of attracting that kind of attention.
It’s nice that it’s stopped but also makes me madder that it happened in the first place.
How absolutely shit gynecologists are about anything other than birth and birth control. Once you get into chronic issues, pain, perimenopause, constant bleeding….it’s basically a “shrug, don’t know, maybe it’s in your head?”
That home life was completely on me. The laundry, dinner, bathing children, EVERYTHING, falls on us. I can’t get a job because my WHOLE CHECK would go towards childcare. No help from father’s (I have 3) all me. Also, no one told me when my period hits, that’s it’s testosterone that makes me so “hormonal”. I have reproductive issues and keep asking for a hysterectomy but it needs to be “medically neccessary”. It’s BULLSHIT. Doctors don’t care about women or our problems but if a man says “My balls hurt” it’s FULL ON expoloritive procedures.
When I was younger and naive: that guys just want to be friends. I have better learned to discern but how heartbreaking it was to have “friends” ghost me when they found out I was in a relationship
I mean, I knew from science and biology imma grow some but…
When mine started growing, I thought I had a serious itch on my chest and a lump. I went crying to my big cousin cause I was at a sleepover. She told me not to worry that my body was growing.
After they got fuller and fuller, I fell in love. I have the loveliest pair🫠
How civil marriage is a legal contract that ties your autonomy and responsibility entirely to your spouse.
No matter how law-abiding YOU are, their f-ups will cost the both of you and there is really not a thing you can do about it (unless you have a prenup/contract explicitly stating otherwise, & YMMV depending on the state you live in.)
This is why I’m probably never getting “legally married” again. I might have a nice church wedding, sure, but I’m not signing that certificate without us both lawyering up and sussing out all the details first.
How hard it is to be taken seriously. I remember being in middle school and joining the academic competition team, which was mostly boys. Sometimes I knew the answer and they didn’t, but they would basically ignore me and choose a different (wrong) answer.
Our coach called it out and gently tried to educate all of us on why this was sexist. I remember feeling confusion and disbelief when I realized they were ignoring me because I was a girl. Until then, sexism had mostly been just a concept to me.
the unfathomable things men feel comfortable saying to you just by virtue of you being a woman, ESPECIALLY male friends/family members. as early as 9th-10th grades, male friends suddenly started joking about how they bet i was “secretly a freak/wanted to be hurt” in the bedroom or would call me vile names like “cum dumpster” as a joke. it’s almost like they feel like they’ve earned the privilege to confidently sexually harass you because of their closeness to you
we have to let men talk to us however they want, forever, for the rest of our lives out of fear of our safety and it’s just a thing and we rarely talk about it
I was a tomboy to age 14. Never thought I’d like anything girly. I got hips and boobs and my entire viewpoint flipped. Loved sweaters and skirts. Mom bought me a pair of pantyhose so my legs wouldn’t freeze.
She created a monster! I haven’t been skirtless or had bare legs much since then. I love sweaters of all types and for all seasons.
There are worse afflictions than being in love with sweaters, skirts, and pantyhose.
I made it to like 26 without realizing how seriously I was impacted by hormones. I have dealt with insomnia and depression since I was a very young child. Went on bc in highschool.
When I went off it I felt totally different I didn’t realize when I first went on because I was on antidepressants and was a teenager. But going off BC in my twenties was shocking to me. I had lower lows, but way higher highs. My attractions changed. Later I got an iud and the same thing. It’s been wild
That the fairytales and romance stories we were told about princes and dashing young suitors were, for the most part, not true. If I could do my 20s and 30s over again, I would not have wasted it living with men. Visiting them for short periods is much better.
I thought that was for other women, never had an inkling towards it when I was younger… but I hit 25 and Idk I snapped and I love potions and creams and smells and my bathroom routine.
Also my love for: Organizational items (cute shelves in my bathroom) and Cotton underwear (for lady health < 3).
Not saying only women do these things, but I find that me and the other women around me are all quietly doing the same thing. It’s very silly to me.
The constant guilt of not being enough exemplary mother, an exemplary daughter, an exemplary woman, and torturing myself for the smallest mistake I make. Not allowing myself many of the things I deserve because I’m a responsible decent Woman.
Growing up and getting it drilled into my head not to get pregnant. Once I hit my early 20s, getting constantly asked when I’m having kids/why I don’t have kids yet lol
Obsessing and over analyzing about my weight/body/calories. As a kid I never cared and just ate whatever I wanted. I was a perfectly healthy child and always felt fine about the way I looked. I was in high school when social media blew up and Instagram and Twitter really took off. I began to feel the pressure of looking “perfect” and would compare myself to other women I’d see on the internet. I developed disordered eating in college and it makes me sad to think about how much time I’ve wasted worrying about something so trivial. I’m almost 30 now and have learned a lot, but it’s still hard and social media is making it even worse for young girls.
Feeling “pretty” and “girly” as I grew up. I was always a huge tomboy and an athlete, and hated pink or most feminine things.
As I aged into my 20’s I found myself really liking to get dressed up and go out, wear heels, do my makeup in new and interesting ways. I’m still a tomboy at heart, I work in a very male-dominated industry, I lift weights and am very physically strong, I still “play outside” more than most women I know…but I lean into my feminine side a lot more than I would have ever thought I would as a young woman. And I love the duality of who I got to grow into.
The amount of gaslighting and questioning we are subjected to. And the double standards and bullying. E.g. look good but not too good or you might get assaulted.
That I would be the one in the marriage who thinks we should be having more sex. I’ve been married for 30 years and sex is very good when we do it, it just doesn’t happen as often as I want it to.
That all our clothes are still sexist as fck. Our clothes are made to show our bodies, not for our own comfort or practicalities. Sowing the pockets closed to sell us an overpriced handbag instead.
Even for little girls. The boys get pockets to bring rocks and trinkets with them, the girls get pocketless clothes that reveal skin (for what reason???)..
It truly baffles me how little we as a society understand or research medication on women. Even recently, the covid vaccine wasn’t tested on women early on and it resulted in unreported side effects. Researchers claim that women’s bodies are too unpredictable because of our hormone fluctuations throughout our cycle, but’s it literally just another data point we could VERY EASILY add to any study. Add whether the participant has a period; then add what phase they are in their cycle. It’s not that complex.
Imagine a future where there’s not only research done equitably for all genders, but where there’s even guidance on when in a period cycle it’s advised to get a vaccine (for example) to minimize adverse side effects. Maybe we should build something to crowdsource this information instead. The system has never and likely will never shift in our favor like this—at least not in our lifetimes.
This whole conversation about how women can’t live alone and be happy. Not having my opinions taken seriously and always being questioned about what I’m talking about. If I don’t stand up for myself, I know nobody else in the room will. The internalised misogyny of other women that enables them to look the other way and justify things men do that are heinous.
40F and hindsight really is 20/20. Realizing now how often and openly I was sexualized as an adolescent. Especially after puberty.
Like why did a 70 year old man need to mention how nice my hips are going to be “in a couple years” when I was 10?
Or when I was 15 and puberty decided to nuke me. And within 3 darn months I went from a B to a D cup. I’m sitting in church honestly naively confused on why all of dads friends are staring at me.
Society expecting women to do everything earn a living, take care of people, cook food, clean the house, maintain yourself, dress crisp, be presentable but not too much, learn to drive, shop for yourself and your family. Sometimes it gets too tiring
To become a feminist. I never realized how much so many men hate women and how inferior they think them. I had this image in my brain of radical feminism as a young person… also very regressive views of my own. I had to experience some hard times to understand what so many women were fighting for.
Yeast infections! I got my first one as a teenager and didn’t know how to ask for help (I was too ashamed). My mom wasn’t too open about women’s health so I had to figure out many things on my own as they came up.
Pretty much everything, as someone with adhd and suspected autism I really struggle with my body and the world around me. I am a really rational person, I like to think things out and plan yet hormones mean one minute I am happy and the next I’m in a dark pit trying to claw my way out and no amount of trying to rationalise this helps. Also the way I am often treated by men, either ignored or sexualised depending on what they want and not seen as a person or friend.
I’m 36, every year, on my birthday, SINCE turning 30 I have asked my mother in which woods did she take me to get cursed by a witch. Because when did I turn into some sort of were-woman!? I have one random chin/ throat hair that is either nonexistent or I feel like Jafar from Aladdin. There are 3 dark, coarse hairs that are the one long hairs… besties?! Idk. And this one THICK, black hair that sprouts from my nipple (MA’AM!?). “Tweeze it” is obviously what I do, but every time I go to tweeze it, it like… snaps in half. Like it’s a tortilla chip with too much MF SALSA on it. Leaving a spiky, stump of shame on my heavy naturals!?
How exhausting it can be to constantly calculate everything what I wear, how I speak, where I walk, how I say no. I never expected how much of womanhood is managing other people’s comfort while trying to hold onto your own.
There’s this horrible guilt that I realise that men (at least the ones I’ve talked to) have never felt. Staying with your parents and absolutely hating it but knowing that they’re old and who else is going to take care of them. The guilt of wanting to literally run away anywhere for a break from everyone but responsibilities and emotional blackmail holding you back. The guilt that ‘this is something I’m supposed to do’ vs ‘fuck everything I don’t care if I disappoint people’. I thought this guilt was a small thing….but it’s so large that the more thought you give it…the more it consumes you.
The crushing realization that no matter how objectively intelligent or how good women are at work, 90% of the time a mediocre white man will be picked for a position. We all heard about it to some extent growing up, but to actually realize that whatever dingledangles (or doesn’t) betweem your legs affects your career opportunities to a large extent, is soul-crushing.
Comments
The mental load and the crippling weight of monitoring everyone and everything.
Stubborn chin hair.
How far a smile and a subtle touch on the hand takes you. It’s disgusting.
That it is not the princess / fluttery / bubbly / cutesy aesthetic I was surrounded by before the age of 10. I would give anything to go back to that time
The uterine/reproductive system problems. I’ve got endo and PCOS.
Societal expectations, assumptions, and judgments are based on my gender.
For example, this happened AN HOUR AGO, I was called a slut for showing a bra strap. A BRA STRAP.
I was followed by said person, who made suggestive comments.
Having to tell doctors probable diagnoses because they’re not educated on womens health conditions.
It being our responsibility to police our bodies for men who weren’t taught to control themselves.
Having to teach bfs how to take care of themselves because too many parents failed their boys.
Being expected to cry about everything 😴
being cat called as a kid…..
Being kind of sad that I will no longer have my period every month. I honestly can’t believe it. I have time to change my mind, but these thoughts recently have surprised me for sure.
The discourse around the definition of what a woman is, respectfully.
The HUGE gender divide in the workplace.
For example: I work in a Construction related field – both male and female project personnel, equal size projects, BUT the men have fewer projects than the women and they have assistants AND the women are also expected to: Train new employees, fill-in for the receptionist when she’s out, when customers come to the office we are to get bagels and/or coffee and take them to lunch. Plan office parties, etc. It’s offensive as hell. And we get paid less.
How hormones can seriously affect your wellbeing
That not all women get cat called like you see in the movies. I’ve literally never been cat called no matter what I wear. And this is NYC. I’ve been complimented on the street, a very basic “I love those shoes”. I’ve never had a man yell “hey sexy/beautiful” at me and it feels kind of bad. When I look in the mirror, I think I’m beautiful. I guess others don’t perceive me that way.
How much other women focus on men. How many women are actually struggling with feelings of loneliness and depression in long term marriages, with kids, from their partner’s families, and their friends.
You can hurt a man’s feelings by walking out a room or going silent after he does something shitty. But he won’t recognize that he did something shitty
How much we have to fight, simply to be heard. How much we lose when nobody believes us. Whether it’s about our health, our jobs, our rights, or simply being understood as a person.
That some people get super mad if you don’t perform femininely enough. But then those same people look down on feminine presenting people.
How much our weight defines how we are treated by society, and how differently women are treated by each other. I’ve struggled with weight my whole life and have so much internalized fatphobia because of how I was treated when I was fat and how it affected my self image.
Dealing with other women who are willing to throw you under the bus or tell complete and utter lies to try and get you sacked
That I would be regularly sexually harassed starting as a teenager through my early 40s, mildly to seriously, and then suddenly it would stop when I apparently aged out of attracting that kind of attention.
It’s nice that it’s stopped but also makes me madder that it happened in the first place.
That (hubby dependent) we get labeled as the “ones who want to make all the calls.” No, I don’t enjoy calling insurance agents and the school!! 😂
How absolutely shit gynecologists are about anything other than birth and birth control. Once you get into chronic issues, pain, perimenopause, constant bleeding….it’s basically a “shrug, don’t know, maybe it’s in your head?”
How much society hates you
That home life was completely on me. The laundry, dinner, bathing children, EVERYTHING, falls on us. I can’t get a job because my WHOLE CHECK would go towards childcare. No help from father’s (I have 3) all me. Also, no one told me when my period hits, that’s it’s testosterone that makes me so “hormonal”. I have reproductive issues and keep asking for a hysterectomy but it needs to be “medically neccessary”. It’s BULLSHIT. Doctors don’t care about women or our problems but if a man says “My balls hurt” it’s FULL ON expoloritive procedures.
Having hormonal acne while into my 20s
When I was younger and naive: that guys just want to be friends. I have better learned to discern but how heartbreaking it was to have “friends” ghost me when they found out I was in a relationship
It’s a shit job.
The pay is shit, the workload is too much, the coworkers are needy and useless, and oh look, another demotion!
Boobies.
I mean, I knew from science and biology imma grow some but…
When mine started growing, I thought I had a serious itch on my chest and a lump. I went crying to my big cousin cause I was at a sleepover. She told me not to worry that my body was growing.
After they got fuller and fuller, I fell in love. I have the loveliest pair🫠
How you suddenly feel unimportant and ancient once you hit middle aged. It’s like everything is fine, and the BAM! you are old.
I may get down voted but truly I could care less. For me it’s how much I am able to get away with for being attractive.
How civil marriage is a legal contract that ties your autonomy and responsibility entirely to your spouse.
No matter how law-abiding YOU are, their f-ups will cost the both of you and there is really not a thing you can do about it (unless you have a prenup/contract explicitly stating otherwise, & YMMV depending on the state you live in.)
This is why I’m probably never getting “legally married” again. I might have a nice church wedding, sure, but I’m not signing that certificate without us both lawyering up and sussing out all the details first.
Having to literally plan my life around my period
like suffering for decade because of perimenopause, while being told that it’s everything else under the sub but that …
The way many men are so oblivious to their sexist mindsets and their incompetence when completing tasks women their age mastered years prior.
How hard it is to be taken seriously. I remember being in middle school and joining the academic competition team, which was mostly boys. Sometimes I knew the answer and they didn’t, but they would basically ignore me and choose a different (wrong) answer.
Our coach called it out and gently tried to educate all of us on why this was sexist. I remember feeling confusion and disbelief when I realized they were ignoring me because I was a girl. Until then, sexism had mostly been just a concept to me.
Reparenting men. #”dating”
the unfathomable things men feel comfortable saying to you just by virtue of you being a woman, ESPECIALLY male friends/family members. as early as 9th-10th grades, male friends suddenly started joking about how they bet i was “secretly a freak/wanted to be hurt” in the bedroom or would call me vile names like “cum dumpster” as a joke. it’s almost like they feel like they’ve earned the privilege to confidently sexually harass you because of their closeness to you
we have to let men talk to us however they want, forever, for the rest of our lives out of fear of our safety and it’s just a thing and we rarely talk about it
Painful periods…just…why?
That you really need to advocate for yourself and be insistent to get your healthcare needs (whatever they may be) seen to 😒
And…took me a while but…that men can dislike/hate/not be interested in you at all and still sleep with you 🤷🏾♀️ (yeah…I was dumb lol)
How you look at yourself one day and you realize you don’t look like yourself anymore, you aged
I was a tomboy to age 14. Never thought I’d like anything girly. I got hips and boobs and my entire viewpoint flipped. Loved sweaters and skirts. Mom bought me a pair of pantyhose so my legs wouldn’t freeze.
She created a monster! I haven’t been skirtless or had bare legs much since then. I love sweaters of all types and for all seasons.
There are worse afflictions than being in love with sweaters, skirts, and pantyhose.
The constant need everyone around you has for you to be happy cheery bubbly and smiley all the damn time.
The amount of people I have to “mother” despite not actually having kids
Not being taken as seriously at work nor paid fairly.
I made it to like 26 without realizing how seriously I was impacted by hormones. I have dealt with insomnia and depression since I was a very young child. Went on bc in highschool.
When I went off it I felt totally different I didn’t realize when I first went on because I was on antidepressants and was a teenager. But going off BC in my twenties was shocking to me. I had lower lows, but way higher highs. My attractions changed. Later I got an iud and the same thing. It’s been wild
That being “assertive” gets interpreted as rude. But if I’m too nice, I get steamrolled. The tightrope is real.
That the fairytales and romance stories we were told about princes and dashing young suitors were, for the most part, not true. If I could do my 20s and 30s over again, I would not have wasted it living with men. Visiting them for short periods is much better.
That I wouldn’t ever be able to get pregnant and how perimenopause and menopause affect your whole damn body!
The amount of potions and creams I collect.
I thought that was for other women, never had an inkling towards it when I was younger… but I hit 25 and Idk I snapped and I love potions and creams and smells and my bathroom routine.
Also my love for: Organizational items (cute shelves in my bathroom) and Cotton underwear (for lady health < 3).
Not saying only women do these things, but I find that me and the other women around me are all quietly doing the same thing. It’s very silly to me.
How little medical research is done about women and how little is actually understood… and not being taken seriously by medical professionals.
How much having babies would ruin my nether region.
Apparently I can’t have a big mouth.
The amount of discourse on if I will make another human or not.
That not being a girly girl was a reason to get bullied 🙁
Experiencing sexism from other women in the work place.
That being the center of male attention is awful more often than not. And then when you age, it is also awful to get no attention.
The constant guilt of not being enough exemplary mother, an exemplary daughter, an exemplary woman, and torturing myself for the smallest mistake I make. Not allowing myself many of the things I deserve because I’m a responsible decent Woman.
How much I like my stretch marks and stretched out belly from pregnancy. I think they’re cool. 🤷🏻♀️
Growing up and getting it drilled into my head not to get pregnant. Once I hit my early 20s, getting constantly asked when I’m having kids/why I don’t have kids yet lol
Obsessing and over analyzing about my weight/body/calories. As a kid I never cared and just ate whatever I wanted. I was a perfectly healthy child and always felt fine about the way I looked. I was in high school when social media blew up and Instagram and Twitter really took off. I began to feel the pressure of looking “perfect” and would compare myself to other women I’d see on the internet. I developed disordered eating in college and it makes me sad to think about how much time I’ve wasted worrying about something so trivial. I’m almost 30 now and have learned a lot, but it’s still hard and social media is making it even worse for young girls.
Feeling “pretty” and “girly” as I grew up. I was always a huge tomboy and an athlete, and hated pink or most feminine things.
As I aged into my 20’s I found myself really liking to get dressed up and go out, wear heels, do my makeup in new and interesting ways. I’m still a tomboy at heart, I work in a very male-dominated industry, I lift weights and am very physically strong, I still “play outside” more than most women I know…but I lean into my feminine side a lot more than I would have ever thought I would as a young woman. And I love the duality of who I got to grow into.
Being sexualised and harassed in a demeaning way. “Asking for it” when you just try to fucking exist.
Being so lonely. Society makes it so a woman’s burden is to be beard alone
The amount of gaslighting and questioning we are subjected to. And the double standards and bullying. E.g. look good but not too good or you might get assaulted.
That I would be the one in the marriage who thinks we should be having more sex. I’ve been married for 30 years and sex is very good when we do it, it just doesn’t happen as often as I want it to.
Not being taken seriously
I prayed for menopause then, it sucked just as much as getting my period all those years. I hate it!
Catamenial epilepsy. You can have seizures that occur at certain times of your cycle due to hormone imbalance. It’s been a wild ride.
That all our clothes are still sexist as fck. Our clothes are made to show our bodies, not for our own comfort or practicalities. Sowing the pockets closed to sell us an overpriced handbag instead.
Even for little girls. The boys get pockets to bring rocks and trinkets with them, the girls get pocketless clothes that reveal skin (for what reason???)..
It truly baffles me how little we as a society understand or research medication on women. Even recently, the covid vaccine wasn’t tested on women early on and it resulted in unreported side effects. Researchers claim that women’s bodies are too unpredictable because of our hormone fluctuations throughout our cycle, but’s it literally just another data point we could VERY EASILY add to any study. Add whether the participant has a period; then add what phase they are in their cycle. It’s not that complex.
Imagine a future where there’s not only research done equitably for all genders, but where there’s even guidance on when in a period cycle it’s advised to get a vaccine (for example) to minimize adverse side effects. Maybe we should build something to crowdsource this information instead. The system has never and likely will never shift in our favor like this—at least not in our lifetimes.
This whole conversation about how women can’t live alone and be happy. Not having my opinions taken seriously and always being questioned about what I’m talking about. If I don’t stand up for myself, I know nobody else in the room will. The internalised misogyny of other women that enables them to look the other way and justify things men do that are heinous.
40F and hindsight really is 20/20. Realizing now how often and openly I was sexualized as an adolescent. Especially after puberty.
Like why did a 70 year old man need to mention how nice my hips are going to be “in a couple years” when I was 10?
Or when I was 15 and puberty decided to nuke me. And within 3 darn months I went from a B to a D cup. I’m sitting in church honestly naively confused on why all of dads friends are staring at me.
Society expecting women to do everything earn a living, take care of people, cook food, clean the house, maintain yourself, dress crisp, be presentable but not too much, learn to drive, shop for yourself and your family. Sometimes it gets too tiring
Men seem to be more loyal to men than women are to women, even with strangers. They have a different code.
To become a feminist. I never realized how much so many men hate women and how inferior they think them. I had this image in my brain of radical feminism as a young person… also very regressive views of my own. I had to experience some hard times to understand what so many women were fighting for.
How angry I am, everyday, at the world around me.
Doubt that’s specific to being a woman but being a gay woman with AuDHD, the world was not made for people like me and I’m angry.
Additional work to get credit for the work I did.
having doctors talk down to me all the
time, including female doctors
Yeast infections! I got my first one as a teenager and didn’t know how to ask for help (I was too ashamed). My mom wasn’t too open about women’s health so I had to figure out many things on my own as they came up.
Being defined as a minority despite being from a slight majority
Pretty much everything, as someone with adhd and suspected autism I really struggle with my body and the world around me. I am a really rational person, I like to think things out and plan yet hormones mean one minute I am happy and the next I’m in a dark pit trying to claw my way out and no amount of trying to rationalise this helps. Also the way I am often treated by men, either ignored or sexualised depending on what they want and not seen as a person or friend.
you never outgrow period accidents
I’m 36, every year, on my birthday, SINCE turning 30 I have asked my mother in which woods did she take me to get cursed by a witch. Because when did I turn into some sort of were-woman!? I have one random chin/ throat hair that is either nonexistent or I feel like Jafar from Aladdin. There are 3 dark, coarse hairs that are the one long hairs… besties?! Idk. And this one THICK, black hair that sprouts from my nipple (MA’AM!?). “Tweeze it” is obviously what I do, but every time I go to tweeze it, it like… snaps in half. Like it’s a tortilla chip with too much MF SALSA on it. Leaving a spiky, stump of shame on my heavy naturals!?
Honestly, how much emotional labor we end up doing without even realizing it. It’s like being the default caretaker in every situation.
That people would pity me for being childfree when it was the smartest decision I ever made.
Cramps and stubborn body hair that grows back after a week
Whenever I’m friendly and socially interact with men, they assume I want in their pants
It doesn’t take much with some of them, really explains why they act so desperate, a lot of women don’t even engage, it encourages the behavior
How fucked up woman are to other women.
How exhausting it can be to constantly calculate everything what I wear, how I speak, where I walk, how I say no. I never expected how much of womanhood is managing other people’s comfort while trying to hold onto your own.
There’s this horrible guilt that I realise that men (at least the ones I’ve talked to) have never felt. Staying with your parents and absolutely hating it but knowing that they’re old and who else is going to take care of them. The guilt of wanting to literally run away anywhere for a break from everyone but responsibilities and emotional blackmail holding you back. The guilt that ‘this is something I’m supposed to do’ vs ‘fuck everything I don’t care if I disappoint people’. I thought this guilt was a small thing….but it’s so large that the more thought you give it…the more it consumes you.
Having to push so much at my doctors appointments to get them to take my issues seriously
That gaining belly fat is a normal part of puberty.
The crushing realization that no matter how objectively intelligent or how good women are at work, 90% of the time a mediocre white man will be picked for a position. We all heard about it to some extent growing up, but to actually realize that whatever dingledangles (or doesn’t) betweem your legs affects your career opportunities to a large extent, is soul-crushing.
And very few men will believe it’s true.
I thought it was bullshit to be disregarded by doctors. I have learned otherwise
How disgusting women’s public bathrooms can be!
How unfair the world for us is