AITA For Declining to Sleep on Sofa Bed

r/

Me and my friend are going on a vacation. I wanted to get a hotel so that we would have two beds to sleep in and she wanted to get an airbnb so that there’s a kitchen and more space.

But it turns out there’s only 1 bedroom in the airbnb she wants to book and a sofa bed. Originally I voiced that I’m not comfortable with a sofa bed, so she said we’d take turns. I struggle with sleeping and I would prefer not even to go on the trip if I am not well rested, even if it’s for half the trip (which is a week). If it was one night, I’d feel different, but for half a week, I’d rather have my own bed.

AITA in this situation?

Comments

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    Me and my friend are going on a vacation. I wanted to get a hotel so that we would have two beds to sleep in and she wanted to get an airbnb so that there’s a kitchen and more space.

    But it turns out there’s only 1 bedroom in the airbnb she wants to book and a sofa bed. Originally I voiced that I’m not comfortable with a sofa bed, so she said we’d take turns. I struggle with sleeping and I would prefer not even to go on the trip if I am not well rested, even if it’s for half the trip (which is a week). If it was one night, I’d feel different, but for half a week, I’d rather have my own bed.

    AITA in this situation?

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    Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.

    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:

    > 1) I told my friend I wasn’t comfortable sleeping on the sofa bed and that I believe we should get other accommodations. 2) While it may make me feel better to stay in a hotel, it’s disregarding to her requests that she feels a kitchen and living quarters is better. Although, in that case, I feel like she should take the sofa bed rather than me.

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  3. ButItSaysOnline Avatar

    NTA I would not want to sleep on a sofa bed either.

  4. Fancy-Furball Avatar

    It’s your vacation too. If it’s not going to be fun then NTA

  5. Elegant_Bluebird_460 Avatar

    Firmly NTA. You do not have to be relegated to a sofa bed. There’s no sense in making yourself uncomfortable. Reasonable accommodations have a good bed for each person. Some might be fine on a sofa bed, but really it can’t be termed a bed at all.

    If she wants to sleep on it then cool. But you have every right to say it does not work for you.

  6. Allaboutbird Avatar

    NTA. If your friend is set on the accommodations with a sofa bed, then they can sleep on the sofa bed.

  7. Medusa_7898 Avatar

    NTA. If you’re paying you should be comfortable. .

  8. IllTemperedOldWoman Avatar

    No. The one who insists on a particular accommodation over the objections of others, is the one who should be willing to deal with the downside that is the problem. She wants it? She should be willing to sleep in the sofa bed. NTA

  9. Imwatchingubeingodd Avatar

    NTA. I think it’s more than sleeping on a sofa bed. I would need a space to separate and recharge. That’s impossible if your bed is in lounge/kitchen/dining room.

  10. H_Lunulata Avatar

    ESH (but lightly all-round)

    You should have made requirements like “two proper beds” clear if you were letting her book.

    She should have asked before confirming the booking.

    What is preventing you both from talking it out like adults?

  11. DCpurpleTart33 Avatar

    Would you be paying considerably less then your friend? I’m not even sure then I would be okay with it but was curious if the friend was offering something for your trouble. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to say that you would also like a room, and you truly are only on board with this if there is an additional BED or an additional bedroom, as you are not okay with sleeping on a cot/pull out/ or any other mobile sleeping arrangement. Offer to help look for a different Air BNB or say that you will be getting your own hotel room for the trip, but you’re glad she’s good with her ONE bed Air BNB. NTA

  12. Entire-Employment666 Avatar

    NTA. Get the hotel with two beds. Or if it’s a budget issue for your friend do the Airbnb, but you pay more and they have the sofa bed. Hope you can find a solution.

  13. _jamesbaxter Avatar

    NTA and your friends suggestion that you take turns on the sofa bed is ridiculous. If she wants the kitchen so bad and she’s trying to talk you into it she should offer to take the sofa bed for the entire stay. If I were you I would veto the Airbnb.

  14. KingZarkon Avatar

    I don’t sleep well either, even with a good mattress. I would absolutely be too exhausted to enjoy vacation sleeping on the sofa. If your friend is adamant about that place, she can take the couch for the week. Other appropriate options:

    • Find an AirBNB with two beds in the one bedroom.
    • The one bed is probably a queen or even a king. That’s enough room you can share without having to cuddle up.
    • Get a bigger AirBNB with two bedrooms.
    • Find a hotel room with a kitchen/kitchenette.

    You are NTA but your friend is by insisting on just the one bed and couch.

  15. Chemical_Gur5704 Avatar

    NTA. Sofa beds are horrible. They destroy your back.

  16. OldSaggytitBiscuits Avatar

    NTA. She wants this particular AirBnb? She gets the sofa bed. Otherwise, I guarantee there are other Airbnbs that have everything you both want, for a price.

  17. Januserious Avatar

    Ha. NTA.

    IF I went, I’d book a hotel room for myself and honour separate ways each night. Or at least tell her that’s your plan and see how she responds.

  18. Pristine_Ad5229 Avatar

    NTA why not just share the bed?

    Though are you guys planning to cook or something? A hotel might be easier

  19. ThatsItImOverThis Avatar

    NTA

    The “we’ll take turns” never works out for the person taking it the second night. Hotel room or two beds, non negotiable

  20. Mothermakerr Avatar

    I’ve slept on some very comfortable sofa beds over the years. However, only a silly person would choose an Airbnb over a regular old hotel. With a hotel you get a flat rate per night. And that’s it. If it’s 100 bucks a night for 6 nights, you pay 600 bucks, plus tax, and you’re good to go. Everything is paid for.

    With an Airbnb it might be 100 bucks a night with a convenience fee and a cleaning fee and a water usage fee and a dishes usage fee, they might charge you for using their cabinets or their refrigerator. And before you know it, suddenly you’re paying $3,000. Look up some Airbnb horror stories and then show them to her.

  21. auntlynnie Avatar

    NTA. There’s probably more than one AirBnB or Vrbo, wherever you’re going. I’d do my own search for accommodations that would let each of you have your own bed.

  22. StAlvis Avatar

    INFO

    > Originally I voiced that I’m not comfortable with a sofa bed, so she said we’d take turns.

    > If it was one night, I’d feel different

    I mean, if you’re taking turns, isn’t it always just one night?

  23. Realistic_Head4279 Avatar

    NTA. You two need to plan this trip together in a manner that pleases both of you. It’s okay and understandable why a sofa bed would not work for you. Since it appears things are still in the planning stages, keep looking for lodging that will suit you both.

  24. neogeshel Avatar

    Can’t stand sofa beds

  25. nosyroseyposey Avatar

    NTA I traveled with friends and they booked an Airbnb that supposedly had enough beds for everyone, well when we arrived 2 of us were put on pull out beds. We said absolutely not and none of the rest wanted to give up their actual bed so we left and went to a hotel(we ended up having a much better trip not staying with them). If she doesn’t mind the pull out she can sleep on it all week but sounds like you both have different ideas of what acceptable travel accommodation are, the hotel sounds like the safer choice. And a lot of hotels have kitchens like Marriott Residence etc

  26. klef3069 Avatar

    NTA

    Absolutely fucking not.

    We go on a family vacation every year. One year, I got the bunk bedroom as I’m the unmarried one. Never again, if I don’t get a real bed, I’m not going.

    Also, just get a hotel.

  27. BitchEatinCheesecake Avatar

    NTA. Does this friend realise plenty of hotels have kitchens as well?

  28. Remarkable-Code-3237 Avatar

    You can get a hotel room with a kitchenette. This is what we did when we went to Hawaii. we were able to refrigerate our leftovers and warm them back up to eat later. We also went to the grocery store to get some food. It saved money from eating out all the time.

  29. Cogwheel Avatar

    It’s not a vacation if you can’t rest imo. NTA

  30. BrazilianButtCheeks Avatar

    If she wants the benefit if a full kitchen then she needs to take the L on the sleep accommodations.. i always prefer a hotel tho 🤷🏽‍♀️

  31. Forward_Nothing5979 Avatar

    NTA
    Go with her let her get the airbnb. Get yourself a nearby hotel room.

    You can meet for outings, then separate ways at night.

  32. KittiesRule1968 Avatar

    NTA, I’d have to go to the hospital after the second night. My back is a nightmare of degenerative disc disease, compression fractures and herniated discs.

  33. FAYCSB Avatar

    NTA. But at an AirBNB, it’s entirely possible that sleeping on the sofa will be preferable to whatever crap mattress they’ve put in the bedroom.

  34. FairyCompetent Avatar

    NTA. It’s absolutely reasonable for one of your must haves for travel be an actual bed to sleep in.

  35. RaydenAdro Avatar

    Stick up for yourself.

  36. Impossible_Smile4113 Avatar

    NTA

    Sofa beds, no matter how nice, are not comfortable. You’re also, I assume, paying for your part of the vacation. There are hotels with mini-kitchens in them. She wants a sofa bed instead of two beds, she can use the sofa bed.

  37. gw_reddit Avatar

    She wants the airbnb, she takes the sofa.

  38. Randomflower90 Avatar

    If you’re splitting the cost, you need your own bed. Find a two-bedroom place to stay.

  39. Status_Count_7170 Avatar

    NTA. This has happened to me multiple times. A former friend works for an airline, so we traveled together fairly frequently. I was fortunate to be able to fly for free, but I still paid an equal share for the accommodations, car rental, etc. Without fail, everytime we traveled anywhere, I would get the shitty bed. Connecticut: Slept on the couch. Florida- got the single bed in the back of the house that strangely didn’t get A/C. PR: Living room couch once again. NYC: LR futon in our 5th floor Brooklyn walk-up, sleeping less than 15 ft from the elevated train that zipped past the window all night. She always got the luxury bedroom with the private bathroom, never once booking a place that was comfortable for the BOTH of us, despite all the similarly priced suggestions I’d send her.

    I noped out of traveling with her, and of that friendship, for good.

    It seems that this ‘friend’ has no consideration for you. I’d seek your own accomodations.

  40. simplyexistingnow Avatar

    Nta. I honestly do what’s comfortable for you. Also not to mention most hotels have at least a small mini fridge and a microwave along with a coffee maker in them so having an Airbnb with its own kitchen really isn’t a plus unless you’re cooking a shit ton of food which most people aren’t. You want to be comfortable on your vacation.

  41. Waskomsause Avatar

    NTA – This sounds like she’s more concerned with her comfort and what she wants, rather then what you might have problems with. I’d say just firmly tell her you aren’t gonna pay your share unless the place is good for you as well.

  42. Shepostal Avatar

    If you can’t find an affordable Airbnb (or VRBO) with 2 bedrooms, get the hotel, or don’t go.

  43. Quirky-Brain-9944 Avatar

    NTA. Sofa beds are terrible. All of them.

    An alternative is to book at a place like a Homewood Inn and Suites or a Springhill Suites. They are hotels that have a small kitchen and living area in the rooms. The price is usually pretty comparable to a standard hotel room.

  44. ToughMaterial2962 Avatar

    NTA. There are other Airbnbs that have 2 beds – what’s so special about this one that makes up for the inadequate sleeping arrangements?

  45. Tiny_Incident_2876 Avatar

    I wouldn’t waste my money on sleeping on the sofa bed ,I just stay home. They are bad for your bad back

  46. boredoma Avatar

    I stay in air bnb frequently, always either 2 bedrooms, ir 2 beds, non negotiable. May says of air mattress and sofa bed are long gone.
    NTA